Thursday, August 25

Leap of fate...

Guys I'm totally shattered today. Last night changed my life forever and the reason wasn't even anyone close to me.

I was travelling home by train at around 6:30pm and was one station away from my home station. I was seated in the 2nd carriage from the driver's compartment. The train was reaching the platform but before it could stop smoothly like it does usually, it jolted with a big shudder that tossed most of us passengers off our seats (but luckily it did not injure anyone) and came to a halt. We were all a bit shaken and looking at each other trying to figure out why this happened just at the station when the train could have stopped lesuirely. After about 2mins, the driver announced that there has a been a fatality - a person jumped in front of the train I was travelling in and yes he/she died. It was choas after that announcement...paramedics, emergency, Police all came at the same time and were passing us to get to the driver's compartment, in order to get off the train to reach the deceased. As we got out of the train after a 20min wait inside, everyone was trying to get a glimpse of the scene through the glass windows at the station. I had a look too and I saw a haunted train which was lively just 20mins ago, standing still on the tracks in pitch darkness as if it's humming a sad tune. I could also see a white stretcher, paramedics around it and monstrous amounts of blood on the tracks...

My immediate thoughts were of total shock and I felt immensely traumatised. I have heard of many suicides (even one of my good friends ended his life in front of a train) but I don't know why this affected me so much. Maybe because I was on that same train and I witnessed a bit of the tragedy...it was like I felt the soul that departed in front of my train, and all we wanted was to go home?? I felt selfish and I felt stupid for being so excited about life when there are so many people out there suffering every second of the day! I felt I lost my battle with humanity. I felt I was a rigid soul laughing at someone else's expense. You may call me too emotional but that is what I am...I can't help it.

What if the reason for his/her suicide was a loved-one? What if he/she was stuck in debts/unemployment or was merely unable to cope with some minor issue that someone could have easily solved? Do we really have to drive people to death this way? Life is too short and too precious for someone to be forced to kill themselves because of some issue like money or love. Now I understand that some people face serious disappointments in life be it illness or a death of a loved-one that makes them kill themselves due to depression. But if it happens because of an unkind word or a deed by someone else, it's unforgivable...it's tragic...and it's totally disheartening. Don't you think that this person could have been saved if someone was there for him/her? Or maybe he/she was better off dead than deal with selfish people in life! I secretly cried a river of tears last night and my mum was sad too - yes I cried for someone I didnt even know but I wish I knew him/her and that I could have done something to make him/her not take that leap, call it fate I don't know. We cant let people die this way...we should be there for them...what happened to you last night my friend?

~~I'm so tired but I can't sleep...
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word...
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
Well I came to the end of the road...
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room...
Why cry for a soul set free?~~

91 Cranium Signets:

Me said...

ME THE FIRST....

saby plzzz.. dont tell me to eat ur
...


kudos to me....

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

me second :(

lemme read the post now

Me said...

Ohhh Kesh...its too sad....yeah u're right ..we should try to help them...but...each victim of suicide gives his act a personal stamp which expresses his temperament, the pathetic conditions in which he is involved, and which, consequently, cannot be explained by the social and general causes of the phenomenon. Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always.......

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey"....

Me said...

Joy and sorrow are inseparable... together they come and when one sits alone with you....remember that the other is asleep upon your bed....

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

I remember once a man jumped from the top floor just opposite my building and I saw every bit of it. He couldn't cope with a divorce he was going through and I felt exactly the same. I wish I could've helped him.

I agree with you Kesh we shouldn't say things just for the heck of it, we should think bout what we're saying, coz unintentionally or intentionally we maybe hurting someone deeply.

*gives k000kie monster a hug warm hugie* :)

Vivhyd said...

whoa i am so happy... 6th.. wow.. will read the post now

Keshi said...

Avik..
**and which, consequently, cannot be explained by the social and general causes of the phenomenon...

That's right...no one can understand his/her pain...there's no explanation that will do justice to his/her feelings...so isnt that why they take this path?


**when one sits alone with you....remember that the other is asleep upon your bed...

Avik ur wise beyond ur years...that's a very poignant quote thanks!

Keshi.

saby said...

SHIT !

wasted tears
tears dont solve probs


and
let the dead bury the dead
life is for the living

Keshi said...

n000nie hugggz thanks for that I need it today :(

**jumped from the top floor just opposite my building and I saw every bit of it

wuttt u really saw him jumping n all? goshhh how did u cope with it? I didnt see this guy jumpin but had I seen that too then I wud not have coped with it...


**we should think bout what we're saying, coz unintentionally or intentionally we maybe hurting someone deeply...

yesss...that's exactly what I wanted to convey to everyone...goshhh I couldnt be there for my friend 5yrs ago wuts the use of me!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Saby thats cruelll...!!

Keshi.

Vivhyd said...

well keshi.. the concerned person took an extreme step which is I believe a cowardly act.. although I am not aware of the circumstances.. I do believe suicides donot solve problems.. ya I do feel bad for the person who couldn't make a better choice and instead took an easy way out..

I can understand that u r deeply affected.. anyone would after seeing something so bad.. I guess we shd learn from such things.. that we live life just once and we ought to fight and make it worth..

there are millions dying around the world keshi and not becos they want to .. because they have to.. lets feel sorry for them.. than someone wasting their life.. no offence meant.. but we must think of all possible things.. be4 attempting suicide..

sad reality thgh.. these episodes..
take care and pick urself up..

saby said...

dont be so vain as to tink God needs u to solve the world's problems


God is capable of handling dat alone

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

Cheer up Kesh people learn from their mistakes. What you couldn't do then, you can do now and make sure your there when your mates need you (your always there neways.)

*gives you another hug*

saby said...

God gave u life
so dat u may enjoy life

when ur sad
ur denying the existence of a loving God

a holy man is full of joy
u didnt see Mom Theresa cry

she was all smiles all the time
even when hugging the person
who was breathing his last in her arms

saby said...

Rohit is right there
just make us happy

put yr loving arms around the guys near u today

and u will be happy
and God will be happy too

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

As much as I hate saby but I agree with what he said there:

"God gave u life
so dat u may enjoy life

when ur sad
ur denying the existence of a loving God"

Me said...

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.



- Khalil Gibran

Keshi said...

Vivhyd...
**the concerned person took an extreme step which is I believe a cowardly act..

aww Vivhyd I really dun like to think of it that way...I dunno but I neva see ppl who commit suicide as 'cowards'...just cos I know that there r few who have no other way than death...n call me silly but I understand them. Sometimes they just dun wanna die it's just that they dun wanna live in pain...n believe me the pain we r talking abt here is a demon that no average person can fathom...my friend died this way 5yrs ago n I will never call him a coward...I respect his choice for I can neve be in his shoes to judge him completely...


**I do believe suicides donot solve problems.. ya I do feel bad for the person who couldn't make a better choice and instead took an easy way out..

I agree...it wont solve anything. It's a permanent solution for a temporary problem. But the emotions one go through at the time of depression isnt anything we can understand either. Besides I wont call it easy way out either - it must take alot of courage n strength for someone to kill themesleves...we r made to survive n to go against that trait must be sooo hard...dun u think so?


**I guess we shd learn from such things.. that we live life just once and we ought to fight and make it worth..

Well-said! Thanks Vivhyd I really needed those words, hugggz!


**there are millions dying around the world keshi and not becos they want to .. because they have to..

I agree...but I witnessed this one and it affected me deeply...it's really a different feeling to watching war deaths on TV and really being at a fatal scene...now I will be in this state for sometime I know...these kinda things affect me so badly...

Thanks for ur very valuable thoughs Vivhyd!
Cheers...
Keshi.

Keshi said...

n000nie why d u have to be so sweeet, thanks n huggggggggz! I luv ya...

**What you couldn't do then, you can do now and make sure your there when your mates need you

yes...but I didnt ans 2 calls from him...n 2 weeks later I heard he died by suicide...goshhh I will never forgive myself for that. Now that I witnessed last night's suicide, all these painful memories of my friend are coming bak to me...damnn it!

without u guys I dunno wut I will do...I'm serious when I say that...thanks for being there u's...

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Saby I agree...God gave u life
so dat u may enjoy life....but to enjoy life u should have a happy surrounding na...those ppl who die this way r not having such a great life...

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Avik that was an excellent excerpt for all of us here...thank u matey for posting it...we can all learn n grow from those very wise words...

**But I say unto you, they are inseparable...

I always believed in this and some how I cant see beyond sorrow in this troubled world...whenever Im happy I know that the next day or so there will be sadness...it's like how u say...happiness n sadness r inseparable n I feel Im doomed by their friendship...

Keshi.

Jim said...

The reading [Luke 9:51-62] was talking about the disciples of Jesus and I didn’t understand what was going on. What is He trying to tell me? The reading said that people were trying to follow Him. One man asked to go bury his father before joining Jesus. Jesus told him not to. Another wanted to say good-bye to family and he also was told not to. I thought Jesus wanted us to take care of each other. I just don’t understand. If we are asked to do God’s work, that means to take care of each other, right? Obviously NOT right. Why would Jesus not want us to bury our dead? Why would Jesus want us to leave without saying good-bye?

Keshi said...

Jim...
**Why would Jesus want us to leave without saying good-bye

why? u tell me...

Keshi.

Jim said...

when Jesus tells u to do sumting
U just do it
u dont ask why

He will tell u some day
if He feels like it

:) said...

uummm donno what to say... jeez me out of words in situations like this.. but its really sad..

take care k000kie..
hugggzzzzzzzzzzzz..

:)

Jim said...

God asked Abraham to kill his first born son, Isaac
as an offering to Him

Abraham did not hesitate
He just packed off his son, firewood and dagger and went to do His will


=- Bakri Id

Jim said...

Isaac was his only son
and He wudnt have more kids

He was an oldie

Vivhyd said...

Keshi .. as for cowards.. well ya I can understand that if life has become such a pain that its better to end it then well ya.. I guess its about making the right decision.. I think I did mention that I am not aware of the circumstances so it wud be unfair to comment on this particualt situation.. if it is indeed painful.. then this cud be a solution but if u have chance and fight back but think this will end ur problems then thats cowardly..
ya I agree that it takes a lot of courage to end one's life but again depends on individuals.. too..

s keshi.. hearing abt these things and witnessing one is far apart.. its horrifying experience to witness one.. hugzzz to u and hope u feel better

and abt my pic.. well. do u have msn mssgr i thght it wud nice to converse or chat and send than an email.. if u dont well let me knw.. i will send rite away.. i added ur hotmail add in msn.. so let me knw...

Jim said...

leaving father and mother and famoly for God's work

its wat the priests do
its wat made Steines leave Australia and work for the marginalized in Orissa

He was burnt alive wid his 2 kids for his work

Guys here tot he was converting Hindus

tulipspeaks said...

pooor k000kie..are you okie now dear? not easy to accept the fact that we were there, and someone had just took/lost their life in front of them..

just to share my own experience..this is not a suicide..but its a hit-and-run accident....

i was 19, doing my pre-U in a secondary school..it was early morning and i just reached the school..i saw my classmate, who sits next to me in the class hurrying to a phone booth accross the road..i even had a brief conversation with her..little i knew that it will be her last conversation with anyone..she didn't make to the phone booth..a drunken driver hit her and i saw her flying on the air before landing behind the car...he didn't stop and took his car after that..she died on spot because of head injuries, right in front of my eyes..i was crying for so many days dear..and even now, sometimes i will mistakenly call out her name..the pain is still there..

i know you will never going to forget what happened but i am sure my k000kie is strong enough to endure the pain..

=am000nie-in-tears=

firacub said...

Hi Keshu,

There is hardly anything left for my eyes to witness Keshi... What u winessed was nothing. I wish that you never ever get to see the world through my eyes. As I say Buddy, death is inevitable.. The person whose death you witness had to die that way and there was nothing that you could ever do for him. So dont blame yourself. Rather help those that are still within your reach and those who need your love and care. If you think that ur tears can bring him back then shed them as much as you want. If you really want to help that person, pray for him. Pray that God forgives his soul and his sins and grants him a place in heaven. N if you believe in God then do pray that you die a noble and a peacefull death. May his soul rest in peace.... Amen.


Peace,
Forever.

Keshi said...

Jim...
**when Jesus tells u to do sumting
U just do it

How do we know what God told this guy last night? Cud it be that he was told to that?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Pari thanks...I know it's really heart breaking...


Vivhyd...
Hey yeah I know wut u mean...one must fight hard b4 thinking life is all over...every person has a will power n we must use it to live every given day...thanks! As for yahoo msngr yes I do...I will email u the addy...

Keshi.

Jim said...

not suggesting u do the same
hehehe ....

firacub said...

N ya I almost forgot..

If you are feeling very low then can I give a nice big hug..

(((((((((((((HUGSSS))))))))))))))

Love ya Keshu...


Peace,
Firacub.

Keshi said...

am000nie huggggggggggggz! Thanks for those kind words..I really needed em n I trust yu to be so caring towards me...thanks heaps.

**and i saw her flying on the air before landing behind the car

wuttttttttttt! That must have been something horrific to witness! I had goosebumps when I read that line am000nie - goshhh! And she's ur friend too...matey how d u deal with that! I'm so sorry...terribly sorry!!

**sometimes i will mistakenly call out her name...

awww huggggz! Gosh I have tears in my eyes now...reminded me of how my friend's mobile number is still in my phone book...I will never delete it.


**but i am sure my k000kie is strong enough to endure the pain...

Thanks am000nie u guys r amazing...a tower of strength that sometimes I cant even get in real life...THANK U!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Huggggggggggz Fira thanks for ur love n care...I really appreciate that.


**I wish that you never ever get to see the world through my eyes.

Gosh Im sorry u had to see all that...no wonder ur so tough...it helps make us stronger too na.



**The person whose death you witness had to die that way and there was nothing that you could ever do for him.

Somehow I think the same...that he was supposed to die that way. Even tho ppl say suicide is a sin, what if it was his fate??


**if you believe in God then do pray that you die a noble and a peacefull death.

This is something I cant ask for right? Cos I believe my death is already designed...

Thanks Fira luv ya heaps!
Keshi.

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

*wipes am000nies tear*

afterthought.cjb.cc said...

No offence or anything, but how does posting your sad feelings on a blog do anything? I can understand that you might want to just let it out, but honestly, if you really want to do something then help out an organization or something. Just a suggestion, not a critique ^_^.

Keshi said...

Kevin I agree...but this is my personal e-diary...I have helped n am helping alot of organisations incase u didnt know. But if u think that pouring out my sad feelings isnt any good then that's really wrong...cos it's helping ME to get over it as well - just look at how loving n caring my mates can be...and be careful when u say that to some one - cos it maybe becos of friends like them that I was not the one in front of that train last nite...u have to be careful to whom u say things so casually...there can be many sensitive souls out there if it aint u....

emotions r wut we r made of n we need to pour them out Kevin - bottling them inside, pretending ur strong n just helping a suicide organisation might make me a suicide victim some day...so yeah I like to express how I feel n I will always do so...if that's boring to u then ur most welcome to ignore my entire drama-queen blog...

Thanks!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Guys I believe I'm being a dumb ass pouring my feelings out...JUST FORGET IT THAT I EVER POSTED THIS!

Thanks!
Keshi.

tulipspeaks said...

k000kie..cheer up my dear..

n000nie - *wipes am000nies tear*

thats so sweet of you n000nie..

Thë Icè Þr¡ñce§§ said...

wat the hell..
i was at work
why'd u post a post soo soon..
i can never be first on ur blog like this
sob sob

Invincible said...

thts sad !!
remember reading a post on suicides on Avik's old blog.

Guess there are counselling stations in all the countries, which help answer the cry of ppl getting pulled by the suicidal instinct.

So you may inquire about such helplines and contribute :) :) . The tears you cried indicate u want to help them. So go ahead.

Good luck !

Thë Icè Þr¡ñce§§ said...

awwwwwwwwwwn keshiii
we're here to share ur feeling wid u, be ti sad or happy. we ur frnds will always be here.
just dun cry naa.
i wudn't have want u to experience sucha tragedy, but dat u did.
its no reason to feel selfish because the who is now wid us now, were happy wid their at sumtimes.
life is all bout pain and sufferein too. we all suffer in different ways.
dun be too senti ok.
cheer up.
nd guess wat. m winnin and rohits' lozin by 4 pts
woohoo

p8nt said...

awesome, just awesome

musings (m000nie) said...

awww k00kie thats very sad... seeing such gory things in life brings u down to earth i guess... we r so much engrossed in our own world that we dont see the signs of depression in people who r around us... we just dont bother... thats the prob... no one lends an ear to their problems...

hey k00kie relax... i know u must b in a state of shock... but u'll get over it...

PuNeEt said...

Hiii
Got late this time...

While I was reading the first para I was tensed as if something happened to u or what...
Then I got relaxed knowing allz fine with u...

Will give my comment later...

Take care
Cheers

Sonia said...

I know it's been upsetting to see that. but it isn't right to say that u shudn't be excited about life. that's crap. you should be. people who suicide are those who give up. They might have a LOT of reasons, but NOTHING justifies quitting. that's just cowardly. the man/woman who suicided might have had a lot of problems, family or otherwise. and he bailed out, and put the burden on ... whom?? or mebbe he didn't have anyone, but he still gave up on something that cud've been good or bad, but he'll never find out now will he? And i think it's always worth finding out, no matter how scary that may seem. I believe in fate, like u saw in my post, which is why i'm freaked out, but I also believe in fighting it out till the end.

Pallavi said...

I can totally relate to your feelings Keshi. I always cry whenever i hear about some "unknown" individual passing away or an elderly person being ill and not able to take care of themselves, etc. Its pretty strange how our emotions are like a flood.....no matter how much u try to block them with ur strong point of views, strength, "toughness" .... the emotional flood is so powerful..it breaks it all and overwhelms you with ...only tears!

Arz000n said...

Oh my GOD!!!
I can imagine wht you going thru...
That was sad to hear :(

I felt selfish and I felt stupid for being so excited about life when there are so many people out there suffering every second of the day!
This is something which I too went thru most of the time. The other day I was discussing with a frind of mine. However, is it okie to take whole burden of the world on our shoulders?? Yes there is pain out there in the world, but are we solely responsible for this?
As an individualy, we definitley can work towards making things settle down in a normal way, for people connected to us in some way...but troubling ourselves for someone whom we dont even know...is it fair?

Yes...I know you are traumatised...but there was some reason behind that individual to commit suicide...unstable state of mind, maybe....depression...family problems..

Just take care of urself and try to forget the incident...though its very difficult...

right now I can only say, relax and be focused on wht you doing...dont trouble urself..

Hugzz

PuNeEt said...

Hey dear ...
Just read ur reply on my blog...
Dont be so low and down ...
Hugggzzzzzzzz

I know that incident had made u upset... but how u could have made a difference..

There are so many people around us who are struggling with life...
Every one has different perception towards life…
and ya life at times is harsh…

You have a very beautiful soul but don’t be so attached and senti…
It will impact your attitude…

Imagine people who die out of accidents… they didn’t even had a choice…
Atleast people committing suicide are triggering their option…

Spread the positive message to whom ever you can but you too have your own limitation…

Ideal situation and Ideal world is the illusion we live in…
and the dream our eyes see…

Take care and cheer up…
Huggzzzzz

Keshi said...

thanks am000nie I luv ya...


v000nie...
**The tears you cried indicate u want to help them...

I have already but some memories haunt me all the time...thanks mate!


Icy huggggggggz u sweet sweet gal!
**dun be too senti ok...

Plzz help me here...I'm too emotional n I can get real senti...it's a pain actually! This kinda events make me cling on to it for weeks...mebbe even months n years...I hate me!


m000nie mah matey huggggggggz! Wut wud I do w.o. guys?
**thats the prob... no one lends an ear to their problems...

spot on babez..thats exactly wut Im saying..however we may try to help such ppl by charity etc, there's nothing like having a loved one with a lending ear...


Sonia thanks!
**but it isn't right to say that u shudn't be excited about life...

but I coudlnt help feeling that way...it was too much for me to take at that moment...

**that's just cowardly...

aww I really dun think they r cowards..some may be...but not all...I have my reasons for saying that Sonia...sometimes in life ppl face situations that r worse than death...we cant really speak for all of em can we...

**And i think it's always worth finding out, no matter how scary that may seem....

Ur absolutely right there! We must try to the end...fight to live...I agree with u on that wholeheartedly...

**I believe in fate...

me too n someone having a fate like this is just unfair...I know that I cant see the bigger picture but it's horrible to have to feel no way out than death...

Thanks for ur valuable comments...
Keshi.

Sonia said...

hey! what's with the "thankx for ur valuable comments " thing?? lol! u sound like some cust service rep trying to placate an irate customer!

--pearl-- said...

kesh:sumthing similar to wat happened to me..isnt it..that guy just worked in my office..din knw him ..but den wen he died it reallly pinched me n i cried a lot ..i guess its more coz of d shock..d realization dat anyone can die anytime i guess.Hope ur feeling better and uve cheered up a bit.Lets group hug..u rohit n me :)

hugzzzzz love ya tc..

btw ur pic..u look exactly like wat i had imagined u as fo' sum reason :)

Keshi said...

thanks amar but no thanks...u dont have to talk on behalf of Kevin. If my posts irritate u JUST DONT COME HERE - GET IT? lol wut an idiot u r! I'm amazed that ppl like u r breathing still when innocents jump in front of trains. I think God workd in weird ways...u just proved it!

Now get lost fake Amar.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Pallavi thanks n hugggz sweety!
**Its pretty strange how our emotions are like a flood...

That's so true...I think u n I feel for these ppl cos we have a heart...unlike some ppl who walk ard in an eternal cocoon of their own thinking they'll live forever. Yes emotions r what takes us over no matter how tough u r...I believe it's ok to feel sad cos we r human rnt we...thanks dear!



Puneet thanksssssss! That was a very eye-opening comment...I'm lucky to have someone like u as a mate...hugggz!
**Imagine people who die out of accidents… they didn’t even had a choice...

Thatgot me thinking alot...yep they dint even get a chance to decide...I believe everything happens for a higher purpose...let me make up my mind that way.

**Ideal situation and Ideal world is the illusion we live in…
and the dream our eyes see…

Indeed! I guess the tragedies like these that make us more appreciative of life n make us count our blessings...thanks Puneet!!



z000nie huggggggiess where were ya!! Im so glad ur here!
**However, is it okie to take whole burden of the world on our shoulders...

True but it feels terrible at times like these...I feel we r living in empty shells of material bliss...I dunno dun ask me why...

Thanks so much for ur extremely kind words n support...HUGGGGGGGGZ z0000nie! Hope ur happy in Delhi now :)


Keshi.

Boldnbeautiful said...

It is so sad.... Few days back I had read one interview of the motorman. Some years back , he saw a man smiling at him & waving. Motorman to smiled back at him. He never expected, Suddenly a man just jumped in front of the train & commited suicide. Even after years the smiling face of that man haunt the motorman...

In Mumbai, many people suicide. They jump over the train daily, but the train is never stopped. Just ran on them cruely. Just to avoid inconvinience to other people. It is so cruel.

Keshi said...

Pearly hugggggggz! So glad to see u bak...hope ur doing ok now...thought abt u a lot lately...

**realization dat anyone can die anytime i guess...

gosh Pearly little did I know that I was going to witness something similar to wut u did last week....last nite fragility of life hot me hard...harder than ever before...mebbe cos I witnessed it too...thanks Pearly yes a group hug wud be awesome :) HUGGGGGGGZZZZZ all mah mates!!

And mah pic...hehehe how come u imagined me to be like that??

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sonia...
**hey! what's with the "thankx for ur valuable comments " thing??

hehe I didnt say it without meaning it...I really VALUE all ur comments n the time n effort u guys put in...isnt that valuable?


**lol! u sound like some cust service rep trying to placate an irate customer!

nope Sonia :) I aint any cust rep nor am I trying to please anyone...lol not that I'm receiving any monetary gains from my blog am I? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

B&B thanks I know u felt for that person n for me...that's touching.

**Motorman
Thats a sad story...goshhhh must be hard to forget such a memory...if I felt this way, I cant even go near how the driver wud have felt!!


In Mumbai the trains dun stop when someone jumps? Goshhh thats the cruellest thing I ever heard!! Worse than animal cruelty! Someone like that Amar must be driving then...duhhh!

Thanks B&B!
Keshi.

Autumn Storm said...

It doesn't always matter, if we know a person or not to be touched by their pain/death. Its indicative of your nature that you have taken this person's problems on board, regardless of this late date. From what I know, it is a rare occurance, when someone contemplating suicide will ask for help, or even exhibit any visible signs. One always hears of how shocked and full of despair those left behind are - they never saw it coming, and even if they in hindsight are able to find certain signs of trouble, they were too subtle at the time.
Regardless of how hard you try, Keshi, you will not be able to reach your arms around the world. You are doing your "bit" and much more - you need to find peace with that.
Feel better!

Keshi said...

Goodday Autumn!

**From what I know, it is a rare occurance, when someone contemplating suicide will ask for help...

Very true...my friend was just normal apparently n was taking a walk with his sis...he told her to wait there for few mins cos he had to go get something from the shops...he went but to a train station n neva came bak...


**You are doing your "bit" and much more - you need to find peace with that...

Thanks Autumn! I hope I am...even when I post certain topics on this blog I want to help someone, in the least possible way I can...someone out there might be reading it and benefitting from it...



SAY NO TO SUICIDE folks! Life is larger than that.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Amar btw I deleted ur good-for-nothing very personal comment...keep ur shit to urself.

vent out ur frustration with me elsewhere. like in ur own blog??

Thanks!
Keshi.

C said...

hey Kesh,
i know what you mean. we go on with everyday life and then things like this happen and make us realize there's so much pain and loneliness in the world right under our noses...

some years ago a girl in my neighborhood committed suicide and as her funeral procession went out I heard her mother crying out 'my baby my baby yea thangam' and all kinds of terms of endearment. and everyone knew that the girl committe suicide because her mother treated her bad over how she fell in love with a guy out of their caste. I thought "whats the use of all the love now. should have shown it when she was alive".

I learnt a lesson from that, always show people I love them. you never whose very dark day could become better... or whose suicide you could delay...

Zombie said...

That's SAD - ending one's own life like this.

saby said...

, Keshi hunny,

dont lissen to the guy who told u to shut up
,

yr posts are very thereupatic (shit! i bet i spelt it rong, DEWDY Helppp!)

its like Alcoholics Annonymous
it works

when guys wid first hand experience talk
it is good for the other

and if i had known u and yr blogg abt 10 years earlier

i wudnt have slit my wrists, i bet.

its only when ppl wid similiar experiences talk ...

its better than talking to a shrink

only a guy who has been through acute depression as i have, can empathize wid another

and perhaps help him come out of it, INSHA ALLAH (God willing)

dfg said...

Hi Keshi
Thanks for dropping few lines in my blog...
Very touching story...I always feel bad when somebody tell thier sad stories...bcos most of the time i cant help them....
God is not always fair...thats what i think...
Prakash

Tanvi said...

hey kesh..lookz like i've missed out on way too much...:( india is okay...ur postz..i read this one...the otherz i'll have to work hard to catch up on..itz the 25th today...ill be there soon:)..hope u get me caught up on the clubs n stuff..n all the latest happenningz in the blog and IT world...u can start now...lol ill be online for a week i think..im in noida rite now..noe where that is? newayz..got lotz to tell u..so take care..n start tellin me bout everythin!

Keshi said...

Caraf heyy!
Omggg that wud have been sad to watch...I mean yep it must have been her mum's fault but to see her crying that way...goshhhh I cant take it! I u'stand wut ur saying...no point crying when they r gone...instead help them when they r alive...

**you never whose very dark day could become better... or whose suicide you could delay...

Exactly....thats what I wanna tell ppl...dun take anyone for granted cos ppl r different n handle things different...n normally loved-ones of suicide victims dunno how depressed they were...shocking as it may seem but that's a fact...thanks C!


Misty yep so sad...no matter how much charity we do to help depressed ppl, it's nothing like having a loved-one who cares n someone to listen to their pain...that can never be bought.

Thanks guys!
Keshi.

Keshi said...

Saby heyyy thanks! :) Hugggggggz!
**yr posts are very thereupatic

hell r they :) But I hope someone will benefit from em...the net is wide and there r so many ppl who may read this...if not for our close bunch there must be someone out there depressed, wanting to his/her life...by reading this mebbe that person might realise how horrible an event it cud be...even for the strangers....it doesnt end anything but ur life...

Thanks Saby for having faith in me...I hope u aint into wrist-massacre anymore :) Since u survived, look how many sweeties u met??...:):)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Hey Prakash thanks! Yep its sad. But dun feel that that u cant help...just by listening to someone's story u r helping them to speak their mind....a listening ear is what's needed in most suicide cases, but even that is expensive in some ppl's life...sad na!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Tanviiiiiiiiiiii omggggggg I cant believe thats really U!!! I MISSED U BIG TIME GURLLL! HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! MUAHHHHHHHHHHH n HUGGGGGGGGGGZ omg omg omg!!!

**india is okay...
ahemm that sounds not so ok...tell me all abt it when u get bak...dying to know!


**n all the latest happenningz in the blog and IT world...u can start now...

loll aww so cuttte! hehehe alot has been happening in the blog world....IT I dun go there much. Our 000nie family has extended to greater levels...gotta intro u to all of em when u get bak...infact we r now thinking of making 000nie juniors lolllz :):) I'll tell the rest of the gos lil by lil, to be precise when u get bak ;-)



**im in noida rite now..noe where that is?

ok now where is that sweety pie? lollll no-idea abt no-ida :)

Hey get bak soon Ill be choooo chooo chadd t000nie...Im already chaaddd for like months now n wut u want me to be - Queen of Chaadsville? GET BAK SOON OK SWEETY!

Muahhhhhhhhhhhhhh n luvvvvvvv n huggggggz n wutnots...
k0000kie. (Im so happy I heard from ya babezz!!)

Michelle said...

hey k000kz...
well...u know...u dun hafta feel stupid...thtz juz how life is...wat happened was very sad...things like this happen everyday...its life....wat has to happen happen...u know mebbe juz mebbe tht person wanted to die i know thtz a bad thin o waeva...but mebbe he/she din hav a choice...

u hang in thr

:)

southpaw said...

Yo keshi, relax my friend!and just try and forget that entire thing...

Janice said...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr DUMBASS i came runnin like hell when u posted u have a surprise for me an if this is the surprise u ought ot get a swift kick on ur tush... first for makin me come runnin n second for showin me depressin stuff when i have been asked to keep happy thoughts n look an nice pictures n stuff...

well i dont know much frankly havent seen a sucide or any thing like that but yeah people often tend to put on a brave front that all well but inside they r shattered ... take my family for instance... when my daddied ... mom sent me packing as soon as possible to Nana (grannys) place cause she tought id probably loose it wiht loosing dad... we 3 never shed a tear on dads funeral cause we had to show we are brave an all that crap...while my brother got it in his idiotic head now since hes the head of the family he ought to be strong n stuff... but belive me keshi... he ended up sobbing like a baby 4 an half months later... while he kept thiongs bottled inside... he ended up bursting while just looking at our old family albums which he must have seen like athousand times before....mom took longer though ... she still has kept all my dads clothing never sold or given away anything...i think guys tend to take the mAcho thing way too seriously ... n i think frankly they all are a bunch of dumbasses....

u know there was this incident when i was young where an uncle my dad knew committed suicided by hanging himself...his wife was 6 months pregnant during that time with eher second kid ... peole thik lifes problemes end with just letting go... but they are a bunch of asses man... u came into this world stuggling to get out of ur mothers womb... how the bloody hell do u think it wud end there huh... god provides solution but just we are too caught up to notice it... n why not talk to sumone or go visit a priest for the matter i say... just imagine how that kids must have felt... they are all grown up now.... but u know i oftne tell ya my dads no more passed away... but wht about those kids ... if people aske them wht shud htey answereed their dad was a cowardan commited suicide... depressing yaar

and sabby u were a BLOODY selfish dumbass ... wht abt ur wife n ur kids u ever thought abt htem u bloody fool

Janice ( FUMING an in a bad mood)

PuNeEt said...

how are u doing now babez...
hope out of the Trauma

smilzzz n cheers

Gaurav said...

don't think too much.
it's good to cry and realise the darker side of life from time to time

I have had my realisations many a times and have only one thing to learn from them ... don't hurt anyone as long as u live...

death is a part of life ever since that stupid adam ate the apple. :)cheer up :)

strawy said...

oh my goddd , keshu u ok na ???, uff re i can understand wat r u going through ... all u need to do is just relax!! n a bigggggggggggg huggggggggggg from US ( 000nies ), hope this Big Hug will help u .
dont be sad baby n dont think much bout that incidence , aawwwwww hope u r doing fine .... hugzz re , i wish u were here i wud have hugd ya n made u forget everything ... take care sweety..


....... st000nie .......

Keshi said...

p000nie muahh! thanks....I feel alot betta after talkin to all mah 000nies...gosh u guys r just amazing! Just why r u all so far away from me?? :(


Thanks South, I'l try to forget it...with all ur help I have, it's amazing...


Janice calm down momma goshhh!! lol I was hiding behind mah chair when I read ur comment :( I didnt mean to show this post as my surprise lady...duhhh! When I left that comment on ur blog I meant the 'Great Expectations' post - the one before this post...hehehe see that pic...it's half of me - thought u wud have liked to get a glimpse of me :) Obviously not :( lol!

I agree on all wut u said...some ppl commit suicide for reasons that r too petty...but I dun call all of em cowards...the demons they face r not what we can u'stand...so we should really not judge them...n klilling urself cant be that easy na? And yes putting on a brave face is just crap...I dun believe in that technique - wut u feel, u must feel...n pour out...that's the best therapy for anyone.

Anywaya babez u take good care of urself...I'm sorry to upset ya with this post...I didnt mean to - twas the one b4 which I wanted u to see...now hugggggggz Jan c000kie!!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Heyy Puneet great to see ur face again :) It sorta gives me the feeling of peace n lotsa luv...ooooo lala ;-) Yep I feel great darlzz...thanks to u n the rest of my mates here who took time to say few words that meant alot to my well-being...goshhh I luv u guys!


g000nie that is such wise advise matey, thanks! It sure is good to cry and realise the dark side of life from time to time...gosh u opened my eyes there to things I never thought of b4...thanks!

**don't hurt anyone as long as u live...

thats so true...if u hurt someone n then if that person dies, goshh I dun thin I wud be able to take it...so yeah neva hurt anyone intentionally...always be there for someone...like Caraf said by being there for someone u cud be cancelling or putting off someone's suicide...thanks Gaurav I really liked that note...hugggies!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

st000nie babez...
** i wish u were here i wud have hugd ya n made u forget everything ...

aww guess wut...I only have to look at ur Doll face n I will be good for the rest of the week I guess...gosh ur eyes can cure anyone! Thanks for those very kind words, muahhh!

I'm fine girl...just that it shattered me bad last nite....I was completely gone...even at work today...but after talkin to all of u I was like...gawwwwwd my life is sooo blessed in countless ways to know all of u lovely ppl...I cant afford to worry anymore...so yep I'm happy as sunshine right now :) I think these experiences make us more human n stronger to face calamities in our own lives...God bless all!

Keshi.

strawy said...

goshhh keshuuu ,,, my jaws r paining now ...dont make me blush soo much yaar ... muahhhhhhhhh love u ,,, nice to know u r fine .... hugzzzz


.......st000nie .......

Dewdrop said...

As usual Im late, and glad to see you are doing better now.

Keshi said...

hehe st000nie u r every bit of wut I said...so damn pretty - words r not enough man!


Dewdy thanks hunny...that was so sweet of u to check on me...luv ya gal!

Thanks all for ur kindness Im feeling much better now...wut wud I do w.o mah online family!! jeeez I'd die...

Keshi.

Dawn....सेहर said...

keshi dear...sometimes we have to take things considering its fate!!! Yes it could have been avoided..if..if at all he/she had someone caring n loving n consoling.

We are human and to feel for human is good..and its good that you felt for that person...imagine there might be other people in that same train and things wouldn't even have bothered them at all...!
Take it as a bad dream and move ahead...as the fact about life is that it never stops..all I say to my friends is...life is to live...dont just end it with your own hands..!!!

May his/her soul rest in peace after freeig from the body...!

You take care of urself..

Keshi said...

Dawn thanks that was a really touching comment for me...I felt u read every bit of my mind and how I felt that moment...yes there were few who were not bothered abt the person who died - they wer laughing n giggling on their mobile phones and were eager to get out of the train...but like u say life does not stop just becos it stopped for 1 person...it's so sad n Just find that revolting a concept that we humans somehow go on even when a loved-one is dead...

thanks Dawn huggggggggz!
Keshi.

Peter said...

Very interesting story. You are a strong writer! Have you thought expanding the story as a work of fiction? Then, you as the writer, could answer all the whys...

Keshi said...

WC to my blog Peter! hmm I havent thought of writing fiction as yet...but thats a great thought...thanks matey, will ponder over it...

Keshi.

Vinu said...

Keshi,

the post over here deals with one of my most talked topic i guess...

There is no excuse for suicide, thats what i used to believe till few years back...I considered all those who commit suicide as cowards and thought they are just wasting their lives..

But few real life stories had changed my that view towards suicides...I came to know many heartpiching stories where the the victims had no other options other than suicide...It is not that they don love to live or want to enjoy their bliss of life..But living in those conditions which they are going thru will be really hell...Living a whole life thru such phase won be affordable by lighter minds...

At one week moment of time they decide its better to end it rather than to drag it...In some cases i had felt sympanthy for those suiciders, not for what they did..but for what made them do...

Anyways personally i oppose suicides and am ever ready to help anyone come out of such tendency...

May everyone have the courage to fight..

And meanwhile i was disturbed due to some factors that happened in my life so cudnt update my blog...Thanx for ur concern...

Cheers

Keshi said...

Vinu hi great to see ya bakk!

I agree with ya...they r nit cowards...infact I think it takes a great amount of courage and strength to take one's own life than live in horrible situations thrown by life. I'm glad u think that way too. But yeah I dun recommend suicide to anyone...it's just not the answer...

**In some cases i had felt sympanthy for those suiciders, not for what they did..but for what made them do...

Spot on...it's the demons they face...no one will ustand wut they might be going thru except themselves...that must be why it drives em to do it...but we can help if we try n notice any changes in our loved ones...we just have to be alert n more caring.


**i was disturbed due to some factors that happened in my life...

aww Vinu I hope ur alright...if u ever wanna talk abt it, I'm here...plz dun lose heart...if u read my latest post u will know wut Im saying...take good care Vinu n hugggggz!

Keshi.