Wednesday, July 23

Illogical Eulogical Greetings!

Disclaimer: Please note that this post does not intend to ridicule any dead person. This post was based purely on the humorous side of death.


The other day, a friend of mine was telling us how someone who attended her Granma's Funeral had told her this after shaking hands with her and smiling:

"Keep it up!"

huh? I thought this was a Funeral, not a Graduation. When someone just received a one-way ticket to heaven, the last thing you should say to their loved-ones is 'Keep it up'. LOL! How often do we say the wrong thing at the wrong time/occasion? Some people don't know what to say...some people are clueless when it comes to expressing how they feel. That's really ok, but it's best to keep silent then. I have always believed that if there's nothing to say or if you don't know what to say, it's best to keep quiet. 'Keep it up' at a Funeral? I laughed so hard! It's as if my friend killed her granma and that she's being commended for it :). So here are some very odd/abnormal/wrong things that can be said if you're not willing to keep silent, when in doubt or are clueless:


At a Funeral, to the family:

*Congratulations!
*He'll be pretty LATE for the next GNR concert *The Late Mr.James*
*Sexy coffin ooh lala!
*Can I bring a Date for the Wake? *winks*
*o man crap flowers!
*Death can be expensive WOW!
*Who 'killed' him? Sorry, I mean 'what' happened?
*Do you have a Michael Jackson CD? *does the MJ crotch-move*
*Didn't he write a Will? bastard!
*OMG he seems to be breathing?? *trembles while biting ur nails*
*There's a discounted Crematorium that I know of...

*Can I take these flowers home afterwards, cos it's my friend's bday
*Thank God it happened this week cos next week I'm away phewww!
*I looked for flowers but couldn't get a $2 deal *mumbles swear words*
*Can I skip the Service and come back for Tea and bikkies?
*His trousers seem a little short..not that it matters anymore hehe *smiles, frowns, smiles*
*It's logical to be Eulogical at this time haha! *urrgggg!*
*She looks a little blue in the face *touches and sniffs*

*How long did he camp at the Mortuary?
*I wonder if the Embalming was a hot experience?
*Is there gonna be any kind of Dancing? *does a lil booty shake, smiles, gets serious*
*Bullshit! *during the Eulogy*
*I got some Popcorn and Coke to keep us busy *munch, munch, gulp, munch*
*I wanna sign my name on the Coffin
*I'm bored, when is this gonna finish? *makes a highly annoyed face*

*Wonder if he ever found out about our secret nookaaay! *whispers to the wife's ears*
*Can I borrow his car now that he's dead?
*I wonder who's gonna be next *looking around the room with quizzical brows*
*He's 95yrs old? Wow then he asked for it, didn't he! *and serves spearmints*
*Did you inform Centrelink - they'll pay for petrol expenses
*In Life he just bludged big time, I wonder if Death will cure it *rolling eyes*
*Anyone want KFC?
*I wanted to wear my best clothes but hey what the heck he's not gonna hit on me anymore, is he!


Feel free to add to this notorious list...let it RIP! Today, I just wanna laugh people. And I know that one day, even as I'm dying, I'll be laughing my ass off...or maybe I'll die laughing? LOL! See what I mean. :)



off topic: btw yesterday was my sis' bday. And I ordered these exact same arrangement of 24 long-stemmed pink roses from Roses Only and got it delivered to her office today. She rang me just now to tell me how much she loved them. Arent they gorgeous! Flowers keep you alive...stop to look at and smell 'em when you can. And my mum was telling me I'm wasting money :(. Now she's being real motherish! *rolling eyes*. Do you think it's a waste to make someone happy with such beautiful things? Once in a while we have to do sweet things like this to let our loved-ones know how much they are appreciated in our lives. When words don't come easy and deeds are a few, expressions can mean alot. Money is not important...gestures are. I dedicate this song to my sis...she has helped me unconditionally when I needed her the most, without saying a word...we've had our many ups and downs, fights and arguments...but at the end of the day, she's my sister and I'm her's...and we are always there for each other no matter what...sisters have a special bond that can never die...and I know that I can always count on her like she can count on me...so, my sis, even at the cost of my life (if it ever came to that), I'll protect ya and help you keep smiling. LOVE n HUGS always! *damn it I'm crying now!*


Now don't forget the first part of the post. Have a good day guys!


Current Music: When You Say Nothing At All by Ronan Keating

159 Cranium Signets:

Nirmal said...

hey want to read....but cant....will do it after sometime....

Southpaw unplugged said...

I usually prefer to keep quite on funerals, coz its already quite frustrating and disheartening for the concerned ppl over their loss of beloved...

Jay said...

I'm leaving instruction in my will for the wake after my death. I want an open bar and dancing girls. I'll also leave the cash to pay for cause I'm cool like that. ;-)

La vida Loca said...

lol!
cant think of anything funny :(

lovely flowers

Chakoli said...

Wow....

that was hilarious...


KFC...

and what killed him???

this one was too good..

what he didnt wrote his bill..
bastarad!!!


YUp yup... very true... these getsures actually makes feel people special:))

so what if money is used:)))

Belated happy bday to ur sis:))

humbl devil said...

roflmao...
this was funny...

and that song is one of my favourites...
but have to admit, love the original one by allison krauss even more...

and loads of wishes for your sis...
:)

Mystique Wanderer said...

ok now tht he's gone who all think that he used to smell...

hmm hmm hmm...not good...that tie doesnt look right on him

did u know he used to wear superman underwear

did u know she got her nipples pierced

oh i am so sorry...but does that mean ure not coming to the reunion party next week?

nice post after long...i mean after all those other nice (senti) posts

Deepti said...

"keep it up" .. now thats priceless...
and one more " The funeral parlour folks have done a good job on him .. he looks better than when he was alive!!"

Belated happy birthday to your sis :)

MAN IN PAINTING said...

bird shit on the preist's forehead..
what will we do?
Grief and humour will mix..
Priest call a 'drink's break'
Then continue the emotional drama...
The post is of great significance...
and
Convey my wishes to your sister...
MIP

Tejas Lakhani said...

not read the whole post but the post seems nice (pictorially).

Happy belated bday to ur sis.

take care.

Impressionist said...

lol keshi!
only u can come up with such kickass posts! :D

-I

Arjun said...

giggles all around... despite the heavy topic!!!

.... it's like he had a permanent stiffy - no need for viagra!!

Srijith Unni said...

I remember how we once went to a friend's brother's wedding. My friend who was handing over the gift, suddenly got tongue tied.. I thought, he will just smile and keep that dumb look, but horror of horrors "Happy Birthday!", he blurted.

I still remember the bride laughing tell tears came to her eyes..!

Have Fun, Take Care and God Bless!
~Srijith.

Tarun said...

Funny Quote:

"where is the farewell party?"

When it comes to show thatu care,money shouldnt be a factor, it is worth every penny that u spend.

I have not attend many finerals, just of my grandmother,that too way back ...

Solitaire said...

This happened when my grandma died.

Someone asked my half-deaf aunt, "What time did this happen?"

She said, "Oh ya. We just got back from America last month"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

anits said...

hi keshi...first of all..u r a wonderful sis..n happy belated bday to ur sis..tell u what...my mum also the same..she wil say its waste of money buying flower..but i agree wit u..!
ok gal hv anice day!

Divkiran said...

"Would you like to avail a discount offer...one funeral ceremony free with another"

ROFL....wt compilation girl...lol

I also bel flowers are goood...recently got a bunch of white lilies and birds of paradise delivered to a close frnd...my frnd couldnt stop smilin the whole day... :)

Ans whts with moms...for thm gifts mean sumthn useful n tht will stay on...lol...if a gift shop was run by a mom, it will consist only of consumer duarables...lol

Cinderella. said...

LOl ! This reminds me of not a funeral but a wedding toast...

Ppl sometimes really look like they've lost it dont they...?

Found the following from dont-remember where. Have a Laugh !

At a friend's wedding , the best man made it apparent that he wasn't such a fan of the bride.

The speech went something like this:

'(Groom's name), man I love ya, you know I do. I hope you thought about this and that this is what you really, really, really want.' Then he said the bride's name, hit his fist against his chest twice, and pointed at her."

LOL !!

Hemanth Potluri said...

hey buddies had a good laugh yaar loved it soo much ...y dont u visit my joke blog www.hemujokes.blogspot.com

u could have little fun over there too...

but as per u r post i want to go to heaven and ask the god to bring u also so we can blog over there ..hahah lol..

urs..hemu...

Cinderella. said...

LOl ! This reminds me of not a funeral but a wedding toast...

Ppl sometimes really look like they've lost it dont they...?

Found the following from dont-remember where. Have a Laugh !

At a friend's wedding a few years back , the best man made it apparent that he wasn't such a fan of the bride.

The speech went something like this:

'(Groom's name), man I love ya, you know I do. I hope you thought about this and that this is what you really, really, really want.' Then he said the bride's name, hit his fist against his chest twice, and pointed at her."

LOL !!

PrAcHi said...

Hahahaha.. U made my day.. It was hilarious. I just cant think of anything wacky than ur list :).. “Keep it up” keshi ;)
Happy b’day to ur sister :). Roses are beautiful!

Bhai with Chai said...

Ufffffffffffooo!! *banging my head on the keyboard*

Don't know how, but 'when you say nothing at all' was playing in my head when I hopped onto your page.. and when the same music flowed outta my speakers, I thought, well, I surely bought Ronan alive!
Then I get to see the video playin on the right hand side..

phew! LOL!

Now for the post.
I'll take a moment here.. "keep it up" - could that mean, umm, well, 'stay strong, everything would be okay, keep it up and keep it all together like you have, till now'..
?? I'm just, you know, speculating it could mean that ..

and dunno if it makes me a bad person (:D) but I've done the
"death can be expensive" line..
im-my-head obviously!

Urv said...

Happppy buddddya to sis :) Let the magic of fun n laughter continue forever...

At the funeral, 'When is John going to come. He is late again'

*John is dead!*

HOBO said...

I remember during our exams days in school we used to say "Best-of-Luck" to our friends but for some we said "Waste-of-Luck".
Now say it as fast as you can and check...

Re: gifts
Money is a paper whos value is created in mind.
Gifts are one way to express love but hugs are not bad...

Bhai with Chai said...

happppppppppppy birthday to your sis!
I totally love birthdays!
>:D<


//When words don't come easy and deeds are a few, expressions can mean alot. Money is not important...gestures are

True , true , true
:)
At times, when a friend, for no reason at all, gets me those tiny roses he bought from some kid at the red-light while coming to see me, makes me feel more awesome than any bouquet-gifted-on-an-occasion could make!

:)
happy birthday again!

Lena said...

lol that was funny, cant believe some people are really that dumb to actually say this. Sometimes it is better to say nothing at all :)


Belated happy b'day to your sis. Lovely flowers. You both are lucky to have each other :)

Take care and have a great day!

Iceman said...

ROTFLMAO...
Funny.. 2 the core...

Happy b'day 2 ur sis

aneri_masi said...

I don't have anything to add to this hilarious list...but this one's my absolute favorite :D

Bullshit! *during the Eulogy*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KESHI'S SIS :)
Nah, its not a waste of money at all (and you knew that already ;)

deepsat said...

LOL!! that was good!! here's a few from me to the list!!

- he looks good like that!! (u mean when he's dead!!!)
- he always wanted to move on!!! (yeah, his wish just came true)
- is that my shirt which he borrowed last summer?

;-))

Ankur said...

i wanted to laugh out loud!!
but it will be like making fun of someone, but really u said rightly.. when one doesnt know wat to speak, its better to keep Silence!!!

Silence is virtue as they say, so not kinda achievable most of the time... but i ignore such things, touchwood... i hate to go to someones funeral coz i m too scared of ppls death!! :((((

but ya... ur comments are extremely hilarious!!!

Wish ur sis once more and wish her all d gud luck... hope she does well and she rocks!! :)

Cheers!!
P.S. had a bad headache yesterday so didnt read the whole of the earlier post yesterday and i didnt comment coz i didnt read... :)
Sorry for delay, i think u deserve an explanation as a dear frnd!! :)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

That's really sick if people say stuff like that at a funeral.Real jerks!

Some people can be really insensitive,like few who smirked at my second last post.Mata hari duka hituna ekata.

Nangita (belated)suba upan dinak veva!Eyage nama mokadda? :)

Beautiful roses dear!Yes,money does not matter.It is the small things which we do for our loved ones and that they do for us which always stand out,and keep us warm.

Bless you both to be always bonded in sisterly love.Hugssssss(dennatama!)

rahul said...

roflmao....
to add to your list
1. I am free next saturday(hugging an old haggard diseased man) :P
2.So, how many left?
3.you don't drink,what's the point, this your final destination.

belated happybday to ur sis!!!

Ankur said...

and yeah... the flowers were amazing, i always like the bunch more than the bouquet!!! :D

So sweet of u to send her the bunch!! :)

*hugz*
Ankur

Arv said...

Gal.. you made me laugh my a%% off and then finished off with leaving a tear in my eye.

First off... I cant help but think of one funeral in particular. We didnt know the deceased's family well enough and so most of us stayed quiet after paying our respects. While talking with other family members, the grieving son approached us and one my mates broke into a conversation with him.

Now this guy was a funny one and he cant say a few words without laughing or cracking a joke. We literally covered our faces when he started shaking this grieving guy's hands and expressing grief with a big grin on his face, saying things like how he partied with the dead guy (the next minute, we became invisible). We gave him an earful when he exited the house a little later.

Anyways... my favs from your list are

*I wonder who's gonna be next *looking around the room with quizzical brows*

*Is there gonna be any kind of Dancing? *does a lil booty shake, smiles, gets serious*

LOL... fun stuff mate...

How about *Shakes hands and tries to comfort by saying - 'dont worry, you will join him/her soon'.

I agree with you Keshi... Money is nothing when it comes to spending it on loved ones, its priceless. What is the purpose of earning so much if we dont spend it on our loved ones? Little gestures matter the most in any relationship though they seem the harder to do.

Nice song mate... I love singing this to my loved ones... and it always puts me in tears...

Take care Keshi... Sleep well...

Arun PK said...

That was nororiously hilarious!! wat bout this one??? "Comforting Grandma during Grandpa's fuuneral: Dont worry Grandma, U r next :)" Happy bday to ur sis!! :)

SMM said...

Hey Keshi...there is a story behind why people say "Keep it up" at funerals.

The story goes that one of the Princes once went to some rural Canadian village (this was after WW I) where the people had put up a magnificent feast in his honour. After having the main course, the Prince was about to put down his fork, when a well meaning lady told him "Keep it up Prince. The desert's coming." She basically meant that the meal was not yet over, and the best was yet to come. Similarly when people say "keep it up" at a funeral, what they mean is "Don't be sad that the person has now died. The best is yet to come."

I may have missed out a point here or there cuz I read about this a long time back. But, well that's the gist.That article was written by a Father who would say it at all the funerals that he went for, and apparently, over the years its become a form of message given at a funeral.

Even in Hindus, when someone dies, the condolence given usually is that the person has gone to meet the Maker. The Maker has called him, we should be happy for him that the Maker though him to be so worthy.

On the humourous side a few things not to say at funerals:
"oh thank Gawdddd, finally she has gone". Wonder who gets the money?"

"Who is going to look after that smelly cat now?"

"First time I have seen her looking so beautiful."

PS: Sorry for hogging so much space

Pinku said...

hey!

it was too good....loved the 'stop no more virgins' bit best.

Maybe if we made big enough posters the Taliban boys will stop blowing themselves up...apart from a good life in heaven they are promised virgins untouched by djinn or man up there.

A very Happy birthday to ur sis!

Whitesnake said...

Birthday?
Your sisters birthday.......bugga....Do I know her? Maybe I should?

On me tombstone reads the words...

"Told ya I was sick"

Priya Joyce said...

had real fun reading it buddy. well put.
ye I too have read many jokes in RD on such occasions.
a funny post write such posts once in a while.

mayz said...

i have jus been on one funeral in my life...n frgt sayin smthn i cudnt even get myself to open my mouth

Princess Mia said...

keshi

babes i wasnt ab;le toread up the entire post so i will be visiting again later....but mean while heres wishing yur sister a happy bday from me. may God shower his choicest blessigs on her;)

sorry but will be back soon, haveing a crazy week

vishesh said...

happy birthday to ur sis(leta sonlau letesta sonlara,at least i am not late)..

Sukla M C said...

From what I have seen, the moment (time of burial/burning) of letting go is the most intense/difficult...


otherwise for most it is a time for gossip for most people.. (I actually a few good laughs at quite a few funerals *not during those intense moments though*)

The best laughing material are the idiots who don't know whose funeral they are @ &...
and make a fool of themselves trying to be nice.



This is how it is for people who have had a natural death over age...

The other category . . .
Is a total different story

Sukla M C said...

Oh!! Yeah
Wishes for a Wonderful Birthday.

SwAtI said...

Lol!! That was hilariously hilarious.. hehe!
"Keep it up".. Cant believe someone said that...
M amazed how did u cm up with such a long list.. :)

Recently, a relative of mine had passed away & I told my frnd abt it. Instead of saying a word of condolence, all he said was..'Oh!! Wrong timing..' (coz this thing happnd a day b4 my exams) n i ws shocked beyond words.. I was like..Yeah! He shouldv consulted everyone for an appropriate time for him to die..so that relatives dont hv an exam or interviews..meetings or appointments.. phew! ppl cn be so weird na!
Cheers! :)

SwAtI said...

Birthday wishes to ur lovely sis.. :)
Roses look so beeautiful.. I agree with u..Its very imp to make special moments even more special by gifting sweet lil thngs..n nothing can beat the magic of a bouquet of beautiful roses.. :)

Aneesh said...

Really funny post!! All standard jokes. But, nothing comes to my mind right now :( and I don't want to put some crap jokes :).

BTW,
***got it delivered to her office

It would've been better if you give it to her personally.

***Money is not important...

I couldn't agree with that. it's similar to the saying 'You won't know the value of your eyes until you lose it'. But comparing to something else, ofcourse you could say that.

Aayushi..^ said...

ROFL>>>>


Too good,Keshi! :)
Hugs!


And funerals?
I barely attended any! :)
(A token of gesture fr ya,up my blog!)

Ashu said...

no comment

Helen said...

I suppose one could be like my 4 year old nephew at his great-grandma's funeral who tugged on his mum's sleeve and whispered (in the middle of the priest's eulogy no less) "Mom, when is this going to be done, I've got to POOP!!"

Hubby and I were sitting right behind and had tears running down our cheeks from holding back the laughter!!!

But it did all remind us that LIFE GOES ON!!!

enchanted illusionz said...

gud that u reminded us of de 1st part of de post. felt a lil mushy readin abt flowers & expression & stuff & yeah..belated bday wishes 2 ur siz. but still, m not into gifting flowers , coz i did rather let them be where they belong. & abt de 1st part. ha ha..m sure u ll die laughin the way u live laughin too. remember hearin dat laughter does help n adding to ur yrs n earth. so lets keep on laughin , mayb v shall attain immortality.

AmitL said...

ROFL...Keshi,I've heard some beauts(Read'goofups') which people said at a funeral,but,'keep it up' takes the cake.It's like telling someone at such a time'I hope you're next.'

Well,how about these,which i came across:
"His troubles are over now"

"Don’t worry. You’ll see him again soon."

"Be thankful he died at an early age. He doesn’t have to experience pain and heartache on this earth."

"Hey, what's leaking out of the coffin?"

"I almost didn't recognize him without his finger in his nose."

"C'mon people--GEEZ! We need to put the "FUN" back in "FUNeral!

And,the line to top all lines:

"So is that rigor mortus, or is he just happy to see us?

maverick said...

happy bday to ur sis first of all...

the post was really hilarious..n to add on to it...

**whr r v going for food??


btw i generally keep quiet...

MARIA said...

Happy Birthday to your sister!

Love from
Poland

MARIA said...

"And I know that one day, even as I'm dying, I'll be laughing my ass off...or maybe I'll die laughing? "-
I bought it, Keshi!

joiedevivre said...

just one thing
dat a very lovely song..
:)

Princess Mia said...

hey babes howdy do....i feel like i ahve been disconnected for a while now heheh. anwyays so how was yur sissys bday....whats did u guys do.

n yeah the flowers were cute n hmmm my mom says the same thing , that gifting flowers is a waste of money rather gift something else...but then i agree with gesture thought....

Neeku said...

LOL ! This was hilarious as ever ! OMG I laughed my heart out !

And on much sweeter note... you are right... Sisters are the best... you fight.. you make up... you fight... you are there for them.. you fight .. they are there for you... you fight ... u fight ... u fight...

yet still you love them with all your heart :)

ani said...

ok let me first start off by saying

babez the song is aweeesssommmeee.. thts one of my favourite numbers..

well hehe illogical greetings..
hehe but KEEP IT UP was really good.. no offense.. but it was reallyy funnyy though..

and dont worryy babez.. u dont have to feel sad ..

huggsss.. for u.. :)

Coco said...

Birthday Hugs & Best Wishes to your sister!! Hope she had a WONDERFUL day!!

The roses are BEAUTIFUL!

My mom used to say...
if you are going to give flowers,
give them while the person is still alive- so that they can be enjoyed.

I can't think of anything funny...
HOWEVER- culturally speaking-
we (Mexicans) have 2 days in Nov. dedicated to those who have died. They are my favorite days!!
"Dia de Los Muertos"
if you have time- look it up on the internet.

Hugs & Blessings

Anu said...

A very very happy birthday to your sis.. Im sure she loved the flowers, they brighten up any day

Well about the funeral, these are my real life experiences and i couldnt beleive that people who uttered them actually passed first grade
1. What a pretty dress, where did you buy that and what did it cost!! (Right next to the weeping mother , who just lost her son)
2. Discussing the current issues and price of gas to move the person to their final resting place

carolinagal said...

Hilarious!

Macadamia The Nut said...

When you-know-who left us, an aunt of mine came to me and said (this on the very next day) "you should encourage him to get married again"

I wanted to slap her :)

P.S. Hi Keshigirlllll!! MUAH! How HAVE you been?

Keshi said...

k Nirmal :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Southy!


**I usually prefer to keep quite on funerals,

u say it best, when u say NOTHING at all. :) Like this song ha?


yes, even I get silent when I dunno wut to say. Best not to open my mouth and flaunt my ignorance in how to handle the situation. lol!


*HUGS*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

r ya serious Jay? WOW! :)


** I want an open bar and dancing girls. I'll also leave the cash to pay for cause I'm cool like that


But Im not surprised at the same time...cos I hv read abt such funerals in the papers. Where pole dancers dance as the Body is being taken for burial. It's individual prefernce.

So ur gonna GO in style ha!


Guess wut I want my funeral to be like...all my fav songs to be played and my iPod to GO with me. LOL!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Lavida :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Chakoli!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Devil ty!


**allison krauss

wow u like Alison Kruass? She's one of my FAVS! D u know her song 'It doesnt matter'? Its my all-time fav.


*HUGS*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Mystique :)


**ok now tht he's gone who all think that he used to smell...

haha sooo mean!


**hmm hmm hmm...not good...that tie doesnt look right on him

lol! How abt is he wearing Bonds underwear?



**did u know he used to wear superman underwear

hahahaha!



**did u know she got her nipples pierced

lol ur a jerk! ;-)



**oh i am so sorry...but does that mean ure not coming to the reunion party next week?

ROFL THE BEST!!!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Deepti!


** The funeral parlour folks have done a good job on him .. he looks better than when he was alive!!"


hahahahaha I laughed so hard!!! That was VERY FUNNY!!! :):)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Man tnxx!


**Then continue the emotional drama...

LOL!


Isnt that always the case. Life still goes on, even at Death.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Tejas!

btw I cant get to ur site...it takes me to an AD site.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

lol Impressionist!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Arjun!

**it's like he had a permanent stiffy - no need for viagra!!


hahahahahahahahaha! Good one mate. :):)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Srijith!



**"Happy Birthday

hahahaha! Seriously? Omg that wud hv been so embarassing!


lolz!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Tarun!


**"where is the farewell party?"


haha thats sooo mean lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Sol!


**She said, "Oh ya. We just got back from America last month"


hahaha too funny!!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Anits HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Div!


**"Would you like to avail a discount offer...one funeral ceremony free with another"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA good one hun! That was brilliant lol!

How abt

'Buy one coffin get one free?'


:):)



Hey I love Lillies and BOP..lucky u! Thats what I mean...flowers make us smile :)



**if a gift shop was run by a mom, it will consist only of consumer duarables...

haha so true! If my mum had a gift shop, she'd take ppl's money, and then give it back to them saying

'here, keep it, u may need it some day, dun buy any gifts'.

LOL!


*HUGS*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Cindy :)



**Then he said the bride's name, hit his fist against his chest twice, and pointed at her."


haha he's so mean!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Hemanth I didnt know u hv a JOKE blog...will check it out, tnxx!



**i want to go to heaven and ask the god to bring u also so we can blog over there


hahahaha! Im sure there's a Blogville there too Hemanth, and I wanna secure a hot seat there..cos man, how am I gonna LIVE w.o. blogging even after Im DEAD? I want God to blog too!


Keshi.

WP 2007 - 08 said...

Hi Keshi

I found this blog to be rather dead.

Yes Doc, if I take the pills and die, I'll quit being your patient.

I was looking for my famous dead pic but I can’t find it on any of our files.

I have a habit of laughing at funerals. Yes, some funerals are funny.

Anyway, we’ve been having bad storms with flooding. On my way home, I found myself staring at a river which was not there this morning; it took over an hour to detour around the water.

LOL

Bev

Keshi said...

aww ty Prachi HUGS!

I'll 'keep it up' hunny, duncha worry.

*keshi goes lookin for her next victim*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

haha Bhai seriously? Not a coincidence tho...mebbe telepathy? :)




**, 'stay strong, everything would be okay, keep it up and keep it all together like you have, till now'..


u maybe right. I thought that too. But at first, when u here KEEP IT UP, it sounds a bit funny. lol!


Did u mean u said that death is expensive at a funeral? ROFL!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Lena!

yes..better to say NOTHING at all when u dunno wut to say. Like this song says...u say it best, when u say NOTHING at all. lol!


*HUGS*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Iceman! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Aneri HUGS!



**Bullshit! *during the Eulogy*

yes...I thought that was the BEST too :) tnxx!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Urv!


**At the funeral, 'When is John going to come. He is late again'


hahahahaha!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Hobo hows it goin mate?

LOL @waste of luck!


**Money is a paper whos value is created in mind.
Gifts are one way to express love but hugs are not bad...


so very true!

U know, my mum's being such a MUM. lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Bhai!


**makes me feel more awesome than any bouquet-gifted-on-an-occasion could make!


thats what I mean. Gestures like that make u see how HAPPY ppl n nature can make u feel.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Deepz!


**- he looks good like that!! (u mean when he's dead!!!)


hahahahaha! help I cant stop laffing!!!



**- he always wanted to move on!!! (yeah, his wish just came true)

LOL omg too funny!



**- is that my shirt which he borrowed last summer?

lol lol lol!



U r too good at this Deepz! damnit next time Im at a funeral, Im gonna be thinking of all this lol!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ankur HUGS! Hope ur feeling better now?


hey mate u gotta be able to see the humor in DEATH as much as u see it in LIFE :)


This is all a mockery ya know..life and death...a grand mockery.



**i hate to go to someones funeral coz i m too scared of ppls death

yep funeral r such gloomy events...sets ur mood to be quite heavy and stressful..


*HUGS* n ty for the wishes!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sameera MWAHHHHHHHH! U cheer up now..u hv me always. Rem that ok? As long as Im alive, Im in ur life.



**Some people can be really insensitive,like few who smirked at my second last post

really? let me come ard n read the comments.

dun mind em tho...they r not worth ur emotions. this happens to me ALL the time, in my blog too. ppl mock my feelings..but ppl can say anything..I am what I am...and I love who I am. think like that. HUGS!


eya mage nangi nevei...akka. :)

tnxx so much for the well wishes luv!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Rahul!


**1. I am free next saturday(hugging an old haggard diseased man) :P

hahahahaha! too good!


**2.So, how many left?

omg lol!



**3.you don't drink,what's the point, this your final destination.

hahahahaha!

Very good ones Rahul :):) ty for making me laff.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ankur!

I'll soon put up pics of the REAL one I sent.

When I went home yday I was totally mesmerised by the roses! so, took alot of pics :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Arv :) and Im glad u laughed so much hehehehe.


**aying things like how he partied with the dead guy (the next minute, we became invisible).

hahaha! Its not a time to talk abt booze n dancing is it!



** 'dont worry, you will join him/her soon'.

ROFL good one Arv! Im laffing so much over here my tummy hurts!!!


yes...money is nothing and most ppl wud realise when their loved-ones are no more..too late then.

So show ur love, when they r alive!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Arjun!

** Dont worry Grandma, U r next :)

hahaha same as Arv's one!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

SMM hey ty so much!

Never knew that story b4. See, this is why I call BLOGGING is great and so educational. I learnt something today. WOW! I'll pass that story to my friend too.



**Similarly when people say "keep it up" at a funeral, what they mean is "Don't be sad that the person has now died. The best is yet to come."


how true! It makes great sense now.



**"oh thank Gawdddd, finally she has gone". Wonder who gets the money?"


hahahahaha! Tho this is funny, thats what usually happens when an elderly person in the family dies. I've seen that in my own family...siblings waiting til the funeral is over to get a hand on the ESTATE.



**"Who is going to look after that smelly cat now?"

lol cute one!



**"First time I have seen her looking so beautiful."

hahahahahha SMM u r toooo funny!!!!


ty n HUGS! Im still laffing!


Keshi.

Compassion Unlimitted said...

This one happened in real,in my college days
Convent educated classmate:Hey ,unfortunately he kicked the bucket
Not so English Literate friend:Was he angry?
Well all kinds of things happen in life !
Belated wishes for your sis
Tc
CU

Keshi said...

ty Pinkuuuuuu :)


**apart from a good life in heaven they are promised virgins untouched by djinn or man up there.


haha is that for real? Fuckers.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Stevo!

My sis is the total opposite of me...personality wise. She's so quiet, calm, reserved and dun suffer from OCD and MPD :)


**"Told ya I was sick"


haha!


I'd have


"Am I Dead Yet?"


Cos Im such a hypochondriac in real!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Joyce :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hehehe Mayz, only 1 funeral so far? Ur lucky then :)


I hv been even flying overseas to so many funerals.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Mia no worries. Take ur time hun.

And ty so much for the wishes. HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

haha Vish cute wish in Tamil too. HUGGGGGGGGS n ty!

poda poda nee romba cute..lol!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sukla and WC!


**The best laughing material are the idiots who don't know whose funeral they are @ &...
and make a fool of themselves trying to be nice.


haha do they even exist? I mean ppl who dunno who's funeral they r at? LOL!


Mebbe they r Funeral-crashers..like Wedding-crashers.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

and ty for the wishes Sukla :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Swati ur looking good in that pic hun WOW!



**Wrong timing..' (coz this thing happnd a day b4 my exams)


Jokes apart, thats really SAD. I cant believe ppl can get so insensitive.

Like u said, not that the dead relative had a choice. It really made me sad when I read it. HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Swati..it's not like I buy flowers everyday is it. Special moments must be treasured and celebrated.

ty n HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Aneesh!

nah I like delivering it to where she works..especially on a week day. Cos its in the morning of her bday and it's a total surprise at work.



**'You won't know the value of your eyes until you lose it'


yeah I agree but is spending money on flowers to make someone happy, a LOSS of money?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Aneesh u must be stingy. LOL!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Aayushi! :)


**I barely attended any

aww..when u grow a lil older, u'll be attending em. LOL I didnt mean that alot of ppl will die, but ur only 17 right? When I was 17 I hadnt attended many funerals either. Thats what I meant :)


*HUGS* will come ard to ur blog soon.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

**No comments

No worries Ashu :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Helen hows ya hun?



**Mom, when is this going to be done, I've got to POOP!!"

hahahahahaha PRICELESS!




**But it did all remind us that LIFE GOES ON!!!

Spot on! And that was the true MEANING behind this post and all the humor. Life goes on even at Death. U nailed it, as usual.



*HUGS*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Enchanted!


**but still, m not into gifting flowers , coz i did rather let them be where they belong.


in a way ur right...but sometimes we dun all hv access/time to go to the places where flowers grow beautifully in gardens or in the wild. So getting those flowers, making nice arrangements and delivering em to someone u love is a nice gesture...a gesture of love an appreciation. :)


hey yeah im such a laughing stock..lol!


Keshi.

krystyna said...

When I don't know what to say
I always bring to my mind King's Solomon words:
"We think even a foolish person is wise if he keeps silent. We think he understand what is right if he controls his tongue"

Thank you for hihiii,
and no more my words ... I just try to keep silent.

Keshi said...

lol ty Amit!


**"His troubles are over now"

omg thats such a cliched line ha! I mean, it's as if in DEATH u get a trouble-free LIFE? lol!



"Don’t worry. You’ll see him again soon."

omg i sooo hate that one LOL! Alot of ppl use that tho. How do they know we'll see him again? I mean has this person who's saying it died before and met his/her relatives, to be able to say that line? LOL!



"Be thankful he died at an early age. He doesn’t have to experience pain and heartache on this earth."


hahaha so fake!



**"Hey, what's leaking out of the coffin?"

ROFL Amit! ewwww!



**"I almost didn't recognize him without his finger in his nose."


HAHAHAHAHA I cant stop laffing!




**"C'mon people--GEEZ! We need to put the "FUN" back in "FUNeral!

lolzz!



**"So is that rigor mortus, or is he just happy to see us?


HAHAHA THE BEST! Wow that was too good Amit :):)


Did u read Arjun's comment at the top...similar one hehe.


tnxx alot for the laughs!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Mav!

**whr r v going for food

hehehehe...


:)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

haha Maria HUGGGGGGGZ!

And ty so much for the wishes to my sis MWAH!

And dun forget to LAUGH ;-)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Joi!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ayy Mia :) tnxx hun HUGS!

I'll soon put up pics of the flowers I sent.

yeah mums are always like that. *rolling eyes*

U've been alright? How was ur sis' bday?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Neeku and Im glad u laughed so hard :) HUGS!



**you fight.. you make up... you fight... you are there for them.. you fight .. they are there for you... you fight ... u fight ... u fight...


I like the way u put it..it's a viscious cycle isnt it. LOL!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Ani ty sweetz n HUGGGGGGGGGZ! :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Coco HUGGGGGGGGZ!



**My mom used to say...
if you are going to give flowers,
give them while the person is still alive- so that they can be enjoyed.


how very true!! After our loved-ones/we r gone, wuts all that money gonna do?



I'll Google it. tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Anu MWAH!


**1. What a pretty dress, where did you buy that and what did it cost!! (Right next to the weeping mother , who just lost her son)


ur kidding me right!!! thats so insensitive. must be a total idiot who said that.



**2. Discussing the current issues and price of gas to move the person to their final resting place


OMG!!!! guess wut, I've overheard some ppl discussing abt the coffin's PRICE, at the funeral!!! Can ya believe that?



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty CG!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

MWAHHHHHHHHHHHHH Maca! Look who's bak!!! I so missed ya and was so worried abt ya. U ok? Im so v happy to hv ya back girl. :)


**you should encourage him to get married again"

omg r ya serious?????? U know what, thats what I call a DUMBASS is. Forgive her cos she suffers from blockbuster ignorance mania.


u know when my dad died, my dad's 2mean sisters said the following to my innocent mum, at the funeral, infront of so many ppl:


"our brother's death was 50% due to a heart-attack and 50% due to you"

you - my mum.


And u know why they said that..cos my mum is a Tamil...and my dad is a Sinhalese. They were being racist. And FYI my parents' marriage was a LOVE marriage!

so why did they say that...go figure!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

LOL LOL LOL Bev ur sooooo funny girl! luv ya to 'DEATH'.



**I found this blog to be rather dead.

hahahaha I luved it!



**Yes Doc, if I take the pills and die, I'll quit being your patient.

lol lol lol!



**I was looking for my famous dead pic but I can’t find it on any of our files.

lollllllllllz!




**I have a habit of laughing at funerals. Yes, some funerals are funny.

yes..funny cos ppl r funny. Can u blv I went to a funeral and the relatives were fighting? guess what for...abt who's paying for the expensive coffin.


That new river u just saw, might become baseball grounds tmrw...lol so watch out!



*HUGS*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty CU :)


**Not so English Literate friend:Was he angry?


hahahahahaha!

but Im glad he didnt say something like 'where's the bucket?"



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Krys MWAH!


**"We think even a foolish person is wise if he keeps silent. We think he understand what is right if he controls his tongue"


so very true!


Keshi.

maverick said...

@keshi...lol....how r ya??n what u up2??howz the week coming along..

d SINNER!!! said...

this one was creative and I agree with u Keshi, sometimes its better to keep your mouth shut when you dont know what to say or dont know how to...

You gave a long list of phrases that shouldn't be used but are used at times and so here, in India I feel ridiculous when people talk about things that should be left at least at that moment...

till date, I abhor a few people for their concerns seemed something else when my father died...anyways, at least I can bet that silence is the best way...

d SINNER!!! said...

b/w belated bday wishes for ur sis...

fingers said...

'Money is not important...gestures are.'

I was going to send you $5000 but instead I'll just give you a hug.

*hug*

SMM said...

Another Keshi -

"This dude in the fancy coffin borrowed a 100 from me a couple of months back. Whoever is handling he estate, I want that money back with 10% interest. he had promised to return it within a week, and now he's late."


Or asking the dead lady's husband -
"Oh you poor baby. Come one over after this sad party is over and I'l show you how to have a good time. Oh and lave the kids at home."

And thanks for the compliments :)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Oops - I didn't know eya oyage akka kiyala :)

Alut bloggers la titak,hatara pas denek.Pisso attatama.

Ya I am not gonna be ruffled anymore.

Thanks sweetie!Love ya.Muaaaaaaaaaaaah

Dip.. said...

lol ya people can be so stupid!

aaaa....funerals are depressing..

hmm i have been to a couple of them but i was pretty young.

once i was watching the show Coupling. the characters had gone to a funeral and one of them had a problem that whenever it was absolutely silent / serious somewhere, he couldn't control his laughter! lol that scene was damn funny. now Laughing is one thing one must NOT do at a funeral at any cost unless you want your own funeral right then

Vest said...

Statistics have revealed that the most gratuitious statement ever made is estimated to be used at least 71,00-710,000 per day at funerals world wide, is......

"If there is anything I can do, give me a call" Or " I shall call you soon to assist you"

This rarely happens. Unless of course in the second part the bereaved is a Beautiful thirty year old widow with no baggage and a large consoling life insurance windfall.

Fighter Jet said...

LoL...the funrel comments were really funny :)

Aneesh said...

Spending money for some roses is OK, but you said like money is not important.

***Aneesh u must be stingy

Haha

Anindita said...

Anyone want KFC it seems!! :D

I am still laughing!! :D

Keshi said...

Im good Mav n u? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sinner!

Im sorry I never knew ur father is no more. HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ! All I can say it he left his great LEGACY in u. I can see it thru ur blog.



** in India I feel ridiculous when people talk about things that should be left at least at that moment...


I agree. In Sri Lanka its the same! When my dad died, my dad's 2 sisters BLAMED my mum! Can ya believe it? My dad died from a heart attack and they made it sound like my mum's fault. The world is full of MEAN ppl.


*HUGS*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww and ty for the wishes to my sis @Sinner!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Fingers lol its ok..I prefer the hug, cos ya know Im richer than u. haha!

*HUGS*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hahahaahahahaha SMM omg they were sooo funny!

**#1

wud u believe it if I said that it REALLY happened with a close relative of mine? YES IT DID. After he died, a lady came asking for the $100 he borrowd weeks before his death.

We were all disgusted!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

its good to know that Sameera

mama oya kiyana dhe hondata dannawa. langadhi, mage blog ekata ena yaaluwo thun dhenek hari narak vidhiyata mage hitha ridhewwa..oya eyalawa hondata dhannawa...mama than decide kara eyalage blog valat aiymath yanne na kiyala..ae ayage blogs wala, ma ganamai liyanne!


*HUGS* no matter what I u'stand ya and Im here for ya ok.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hahaha Dips that was FUNNNNAAAAY!


**funny. now Laughing is one thing one must NOT do at a funeral at any cost unless you want your own funeral right then

ROFL so true!

I hope that next time Im at a funeral, I wont start laffing thinking abt all ur funny comments in this post!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Vesty!


**"If there is anything I can do, give me a call" Or " I shall call you soon to assist you" This rarely happens. Unless of course in the second part the bereaved is a Beautiful thirty year old widow with no baggage and a large consoling life insurance windfall.



hahahahaha so very true!!!!!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

lol FJ! Read Vest's comment above.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

haha Aneesh yes u r!

I u'stand money is imp..but not as imp as GESTURES r. Thats what I meant :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

lol Anindita!

Keshi.

rayshma said...

lol!! yeah, ppl are weird.. they don't know what to say. but they can't keep shut!
at my grandpa's 13th day ceremony... a distant relative was SELLING her home-made hair oil...!!!
recently, when my dad passed away... there were a lot of relatives who were meeting me for the first time after my marriage. so they thought instead of showing their support to me in my moments of grief, they should ask me if my married life is "okay"!!!

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Mama dannava patiyo.Hebei mehama hariyanna ne tatte.

Apita katakaranna puluan da?Mage hotmail id tiyanava.

Puluan nan kiyanna.Mage id eka anit comment eke deneva,eka publish karanna epa.

Hugsss!

Keshi said...

OMG Rayshma thats horrible..I mean to ask how ur Married life is at ur dad's funeral. And Im sorry to hear abt ur dad's passing. HUGS!


**a distant relative was SELLING her home-made hair oil

hahahaha I laughed so much at that line my mum asked wuts happening to me LOL!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty so much Sameera!

mama oyata email ekak langadhima evannam ok? HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

rantravereflect/ jane said...

awesummm post..
ya stole allllll of my ideas :)

perverted me to the dead guy's wife:
may he R.I.P the ass of the lady buried in the mud, ryte next to him..
that's called a ruddy 'muddy' affair..
and that'd make way for R.I.P- Really Interesting Porno!
;)

boy to dead man's wife:
hey lady, it must be pretty cooool to go underground, like some scene from the underworld n the pyramids in 'the mummy'.. sooo i think ya should join ya hubby, else, a hotter weiss would do it! n ya'll miss out on all the fun..

girl to dead man's daughter:
wasn't his favorite a choco-dipped triple sundae?? are ya serving that to all of us..
hmmmm.. in his rememberance?

Keshi said...

lol Jane ur too funny!

**sooo i think ya should join ya hubby, else, a hotter weiss would do it! n

hahahahahahaha!


Keshi.