One Way Ticket

Heyy guys how's it going? Hope all is well with all of you. Recently I came across a dear blogger mate's post regarding WHAT-IFs. You know, wondering what if he did this that way or that this way etc etc. We all think of this kind of thing every now and then. I have so many What-Ifs too. I mean my life would have been very different then. But would it be any better than what it is right now? I really can't tell that can I? It would have been better or even worse! And who knows what I will be thinking then? I probably would be thinking the same What-Ifs :). So yeah, what I wanted to say is that though we can't totally avoid thinking about the What-Ifs in life, there's really no point in worrying about such things or thinking that you'd be better off if you did that than this etc. Cos we can never go back in time and change that. What we have right now is what we were supposed to have. That's how I think of it. Have you seen the movie Sliding Doors? it's something like that. Yes we may be on a different path if we made a different choice, but even then we would be wondering about the other path that we didn't take. Life is all about choices and you can only make one choice at a time. That's what's been given to us and I like to think that where we are right now is where we are supposed to be. Life's choices are like a one-way ticket. Once we make the choice to go on a certain path (in any situation), we are travelling down that path and there's no way we can come back. Even if we choose to take a different path after a while, we have already travelled that previous path. So all I can say is enjoy the ride and grasp the beauty of that trip. Never regret the path you took cos it's part of your learning process and it's where your instincts took you. So even though that path may not turn out to be the best or the most beautiful, the ticket was purchased and you're on your way...so you might as well make it beautiful yourself and learn what it tries to teach you.

Having said all that, right now I feel like buying a one-way ticket to nowhere hehe. Would be nice to go on a trip that I don't have to return from, somewhere far away, away from all the mundane stuff, somewhere where I don't have to worry about waking up to routine or where I'm not treated like a blown-up bimbo. Yeah I'd like to go where there's no heartache...where I'd be alone on a ride to nowhere...going without an aim...going without a specific destination...and I'd stop at heartbreak hotel for a while...and then I'd continue...and I hope I don't forget to take my notebook so I can tell you all about it ;-) yeah blogging is a must even on the moon. Stay gold guys!

Current Music: One Way Ticket by Eruption

Turn Me On

Icecreams can kill a guy. That was my weekend revelation. Well I was out on Friday night having dinner with some close friends and cousins. An old friend of our's is here in Sydney for 2 weeks (all the way from London) and so we took her out on Friday night for dinner and some quality time around the harbour. Dinner at this very popular lovely Malaysian restaurant in the heart of the city was lovely and then we wanted to hit the nightclubs, just for some innocent dancing you know ;-). Guess what? They asked us for our IDs (LOL do we look less than 18 or what?), so we showed it to them and then just cos this friend from London didn't have an ID with her, we couldn't get in at all. Bummer! Cos it was the Schoolies' week and so we were all out of luck that night. Nevermind. So we headed off to the Icecream shop and bought few of the biggest scoops and walked around the harbour eating em. That was nice but one guy who was with us couldn't take it anymore. Cos he said just watching us girls licking all that icecream made him wanna melt right there ahaa! What is it with you guys? Is a girl licking an icecream an extremely sexually-arousing act that you get traumatised in your pants? haha! Well anyways, he was alright as we walked well ahead of him not wanting him to faint right into the water by the side. And then we drove back home cos it was getting close to 1am.

If licking an icecream turns you on, I'd avoid having an icecream with you for sure ok. Let's see what turns me on now. One thing that turns me on is when a guy smokes. I don't know what it is and I don't like smokers (with that unbearable breath and yellow teeth sometimes), but something about that act turns me on. And when a guy is really busy, working hard not realising that I'm watching him - that kinda turns me on too ;-). And a slow movement is really inviting. You know...a tender and slow touch, ooo lala! And songs turn me on big time - songs such as 'I'll make love to you' or 'A girl like you' are HOT numbers. Good music is my biggest turn on. I have a friend who gets turned on by watching his girl cook hehe. And I have another friend who gets turned on by watching a guy drinking something. Now I can understand that ahemmmm! So what turns you on guys and girls? Be free to say whatever you want. Righteo it's Monday and I so wanna be turned on phewww!

(btw these pics were taken before I left to work this morning LOL! So now you know what sort of a crazy girl I am and why mum says I'll miss the train. I hope you're not getting tired of my face and I hope you don't think I'm such a showoff which I am anyways haha! Just that I'm bored with the FOTOSEARCH pics for a while hehe. KK cmon mate I'm smiling here :):))

Current Music: Slow Hand by Pointer Sisters

Current Music Update: Buttons by Pussy Cat Dolls

A Complete Story

Do we ever become complete at some point in our lives based on what we have achieved and who we have met? Or are we complete as we are right now, with all the imperfections included. I think Im complete as I am right now - along with all my flaws, mistakes, unfulfilled dreams, and yes even with my single status. What makes me write this post? Well a friend of my mum recently told me this - Keshi you won't be complete without a man. I was terribly shocked by what she said and was thinking if I could really be hearing such a thing and standing there not digging a hole and disappearing. Not because I agreed with what she said but because I thought it was a really stupid statement and that even an ounce of my cranium should not be wasted at attempting to explain my views to her. But she's my mum's friend and she has a very conservative Indian background. I can't expect much more than that from such a person so all I said was 'Aunty dear (I felt like making it 'Dear Agon-ising Aunt'), I don't really think I need a man to validate my Complete status, neither do I need a man to add value to my self-worth. I don't need to live upto society's expectations and I like to do things my way, even though the the entire world may try to stop me (that's me standing at a No-Dogs area going well against the so-called rules). I'm complete as I am right now and I'm very happy with myself okkk'. She wasn't happy with that but do I care...cos I feel complete.

In my life so far I have achieved many a dreams, done well in studies and work, been a good daughter to my parents, haven't killed anyone (not yet), have lost sleep over few men, kissed a coupla hunks (who later became toads), gave my 100% to some people who crossed paths with me, made a huge bunch of friends from my blog (yeah you sweeties), laughed too much, cried more, partied hard, been stupid many a times, hassled people with my annoying habits, lost many loved-ones, even walked down a highway last Sat looking really lost, had great many disappointments, told some people off, learnt to accept defeat, got very close to death and have known life is never complete without being incomplete...that's just my way and that's complete to me. Well this may not be the picture-perfect life that some girls' lives turn out to be, but I think this is what my Perfect is and what I have been given. I know I haven't been given much in this life - I lost my dad too early, never found a man who could honeslty love me back, haven't got a shoulder to cry on when I really need to, get walked all over all the time, have hidden heartaches that no doctor can cure, there's 'something' that might kill me some day etc etc. But who has everything in life? So yeah, I can wallow in self-pity and cry for what I don't have but then I'd be wasting the time I have right now. I wanna make this moment go unwasted and live it to the fullest. That makes my life complete.

Everyone has their own definition of what Complete is. Mine goes like this...I'm complete cos I know who I am and I know what I want in life...even though I can't have everything I want in life, even though I have a thousand flaws, even though all my dreams may never come true, I am complete because I was, am and will be me always. As long as I haven't lost my original soul to material needs and societal pressures, I have all of me in me, and for that reason I'm complete. No one and nothing but only I shall define me.

How would a small path look like if it didn't have any wildflowers on the side? If not for the wildflowers that grow without any special care or need to be appreciated and looked at, we would never have known how beautiful a walk down that path would be. I'm happy for the wildflower that I am and maybe from my very 'imperfect' life, others can get some pleasure and grasp some lessons, and that'll do folks. I'm not a well looked-after commercial Tulip, I will never be sold in exchange of someone else's needs, therefore I'm complete in the eyes of nature. So what's your definition of Complete?

I'd like to finish this post with a song that Belinda Emmett (see previous post) wrote and sang while she was fighting Cancer. This song was released today on the eve of her funeral. Have a read of the lyrics. It's called LESS THAN PERFECT.

Looked into the cards

My fate amongst the spread

Following my stars

And analysing what's been said

Been writing down my dreams

Which later I'd dissect

Just trying to find some meaning in this life

Less than perfect

This life less than perfect

Looking for a signal

A sign amongst the throng

A glance into my past

To see where I went wrong

Been writing down my feelings

Which I fiercely protect

Just trying to find some meaning in this life

Less than perfect

This life less than perfect

Have you ever wondered

What it would be like

To be somebody else

With their perfect, perfect life?

But it's mine to carry

Mine to own

And it's not so scary

To carry it alone

And the wonder of it all

Sometimes it's hard to see

Sometimes I wanna crawl away

And go to sleep

In this life less than perfect

Have you ever wondered

What it would be like

To be somebody else

With their perfect, perfect life?

But it's mine to carry

Mine to own

And it's not so scary

To carry it alone

So here I am with my

Less than perfect life

Here I stand with my

Less than perfect life

Less than perfect life

Less than perfect life.

Have a good one guys and don't let anyone cramp your style. hooroo!

Current Music: My Way by Robbie Williams

The Battle

Is losing a hard long fight always a bad thing? I think if you fought the battle with all your heart and strength, then whether you eventually win it or not, you're a winner already. My heart goes out to Belinda Emmett (former 'Home and Away' star and wife of Rove McManus of 'Rove Live'), a 32yr old Aussie actress who died on Sat after a long battle with Cancer. I don't like it when newspapers have titles that read 'Belinda loses battle with Cancer' etc. Cos she did not lose, neither is she a loser. She had an incurable disease so how can you expect the girl to win? No one can. Not even the doctors can help certain patients so we cannot really term it as 'losing the battle'. I like to call it 'surrendering' or maybe 'co-operating' with the disease. Sometimes in life you can't always have things your way. Then you just have to surrender or co-operate. That's what happened with Belinda. She just had to accept her fate and go with whatever plans it had for her. But she didn't go without fighting. That's what really matters. It's not in the ultimate victory where true character resides. It's in the battle. And boy o boy she did alot in that short 32 years - she was a popular actress, she touched many hearts with her beauty and kindness, she fell in love, she got married while she was fighting Cancer, but through all of that, never did she allow Cancer to get to her. That's where her victory is. In life's many other situations, it's the battle that we must concentrate on. For the end results will surely come around some day...but the battle is what you have in hand and there lies your true victory...it is in the strength and heart you put into that battle.

I still remember when I first saw Belinda on 'Home and Away'. She was a natural and she was one of the kindest human beings ever. I hate the fact that someone like her came down with a terrible illness like this and that she had to leave this world at such a tender age. This is the kind of thing that amazes me about life. People are just here only for a while...some for a very short while...and then we go and hurt each other. It's just a big waste of time guys! Last Sat was not such a great day for me. I was having a crappy useless argument in the car with someone close and I wanted to be dropped off then and there, rather than having to put up with that kind of shit. I can be pretty stubborn and if someone don't treat me with respect and that too for no fault of mine, I switch off totally and I want to be left alone. So after being dropped off instantly on the highway as I asked to, I walked down that road with alot of drivers passing me by, giving me strange looks and some men even whistling at me cos it was a strange place for a girl like me to be walking. I felt weird and then rang up a Taxi and asked them to pick me up from the 'nowhere' I was at. I went home shortly after that and heard about Belinda's death on TV, and I was thinking that she would have been breathing her last breaths when all of that shit was happening to me. What a sad life we live and this is mockery at it's best. While some are dying unfair deaths, others are scowling at each other over trivial matters. I wanna be a better person and I think I am already a good person in some ways. But I don't understand why people walk all over me. Maybe cos I allow them to walk all over me. I tried and I tried and I tried...but I can never get some people in my life to appreciate me. It's a battle on it's own and even if I don't win it in the end, I know I tried my best to be loved. And the most important thing is that I appreciated and loved everyone who came across my life and I gave them the respect they deserve no matter what.

With Belinda on my mind, I wanted to say this to all of you. Treat your loved-ones with love and respect - mother, father, sister, brother, friend, neighbor....they are not just labels. They are hearts beating every second, wanting your love and appreciation. If you want love and respect, treat others the same way. You've got to give a little in order to get a little. And battles need to be fought, not necessarily won. We are all fighting many kinds of battles each day...and what matters is that we are fighting without giving up. And when the time is right, it's ok to surrender and that's not losing. It's accepting your fate. And if someone don't appreciate you the way you want them to, then just surrender. Just let it be and do your thing as usual. Never stop appreciating and loving others.

Have you ever cried for a total stranger? I have many times before and now for Belinda. I'll make it upto her...I won't let a single day pass me by without having fun and showing people I care. May Belinda's soul rest in peace! She died being her, giving her 100%. And that's a sure winner.

I dedicate today's music to Belinda's beautiful soul.

UPDATE: I have updated current music with a video tribute to Belinda that has been done by a youTuber. It captures many memorable moments of Belinda's life and is done with the song Angel by Sara McLachlan. Have a look if you have time.

Current Song: I Could Fall In Love by Selena

Current Song: youTube video - a tribute to Belinda

Kiwi Smiles

Hi there I'm Meera!
And I'm Keshi ;-)
We are 3 silly monkey-babez on a tree!
This is the kind of HUG I always give u all HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!
This is only a very few of my very large family!
Bride and Keshi on a coffee-spree.
Now he's a hunk or what, shhhh let me get closer...
And this is my dearest cousin ever - I love u swt hrt!
4 wanna-be stunners LOL!
And another darling cuz with her sweet sweet man.
ahhhhh those alluring eyes!
This is a man with a golden heart - my dearest uncle ever!
Auckland city and Skycity Casino - a car's view.
A group of truly beautiful hearts...
Who's clicking it this time?
A beautiful place and beautiful smiles...
Yeah who else, I'm smiling at you...:)
3 glamour queens...
Taking a shot at Charlies Angels :):)
My sweetest baby cuz Anu...
I like that look...
Look who's walking...
Hey guys I'm Dylan and I'm 3yrs old...do you like my smile and whyyyyyyyy?
Gossipping in the back of the car!
3 glamour queens again...
Yo wussup dudes?
Hiiiiii I'm Lihini and I have the biggest smile ever, dun u think so?? I win yeyyyy!
Geeez give us a break from all the wedding drama plzz!
A thorn among the roses...
My BESTEST brother ever!
Don't the boys always wanna play!
Dining and wining...
Yeah I know u like my sweet sweet smile :)
Without a song or a dance what are we....
Thank You all you lovely people for being here!




Guys here are more of those magical moments from Kiwi land. Most of you wanted to see me smile and so here I am :) And it was truly heart-breaking to leave my dearest cousins, aunties and uncles behind. Life is such that all good things must come to an end. I say this is all we need in life...good times with loved-ones. The feeling that comes from being with them is just priceless. So guys make the best of your time with your loved-ones today. For tomorrow you or they may be gone. Have a good one guys!

Current Music: What A Feeling by Irene Cara

An Endless Love

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ I'm bakkk! Missed you all tonz and tonz jeeeeez! And yes I had a GREAT time and I thought it would be lovely for the pics to tell you this great love story. So let the pics do the talking. Doesn't my cousin sis look like a beautiful princess?? awww I miss her now. Well I'm back with another royal team though so I'm still happy :). These are few wedding pics of the 100s we took. Can't put up all and I haven't even uploaded some of the other pics yet. All the juicy 'gos' will follow with more fun pics in the next post, so stay tuned. Thanks so much for all the sweet comments in the last post - I read each and everyone of them. Te extraño mucho, te quiero my sweeties!

This song is my dedication to the brandnew couple. I wish for them an endless love that's like a river that flows unaffected, cutting across all it's barriers, going where it should go, always flowing, never hesitating to take each obstacle that comes their way as a challenge, something to learn from, never leaving each other alone, flowing together gently and loving each other forever...

Current Music: Endless Love by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie

A Wedding Getaway

Guys it's time for me to fly away on a brief break again. It's my cousin's wedding in New Zealand on the 29th of Oct (coming Sunday). Remember I went to NZ for another cousin's wedding in Feb. Well I'm looking forward to this trip cos this means alot of quality time again with my large family and I just love that. I have heaps of cousins, aunts and uncles in NZ, and I have many other cousins from Aus going to this wedding too, so it's gonna be one big party (dam maaro dam, mit jaaye gham...bolo subh shaam, hare krishna hare ram...;-)). Now I also have to be prepared for Aunts and Uncles asking me that same old question 'When are YOU getting married Kesh?', yawwwwnn. Last Feb they tortured me with it and I got away with alot of smirks. Maybe this time I should ask them to go fly a kite till I board my flight home? LOL that'd be rude so what do I say guys, any ideas? Cos I'm tired of saying 'I haven't found him yet ok, so could you leave me alone plzz!'. I know they are gonna execute me with this question again so don't be surprised if I board a flight home before the wedding and land here feeling like a battered wild kitten looking for some eternal peace.

Also I'm going to meet my cousin's man (the groom) for the first time - he's a Sri Lankan guy who just arrived in NZ from London. He has spoken to me on the phone many times and he sounds like a cool and really funny dude (I like men with a good sense of humor cos I love laughing, but I hope he won't think I'm a super-nut high on Nitrous Oxide). A mighty reason why I love weddings is cos then I have a valid excuse to buy new gear and dress up all pretty (Keshi bats her eyelashes...). I already bought myself a gorgeous hot-pink chiffon saree with soft gold thread work, oyeah girls! You should see the saree-jacket that we made for it - so pretty! I'm sure the saree is alot cheaper in India but it's still ok for $129. Cos my last wedding saree cost me $300 -I know, way too much. On top of all the excitement, there's a massive, notorious, killer-whale of a pimple from nowhere sitting on my forehead and I so wanna kill it right now. I never get pimples and I wonder what this is all about yuikkkkz! I really hate it and it seems like it's here to stay on my face for the wedding :*( Girls, any tips on how to hide it if it decides to stay longer? Anyways while I have been to NZ countless times before, I still long for it's peace, charm and greenery. So yeah it's going to be a beauty of a trip again. Kiora NZ here I come!

I'm leaving Aus on the 27th of Oct (this Fri) and hope to be back on the 7th of Nov (I will be in blogs till this Thursday). Untill then I hope all of you will be good, safe and happy. HUGGGGGGGGZ and boy o boy I will miss you too! There's internet access in all of my cousin's houses but I doubt if I'd have time to blog amidst all the wedding chaos. Imagine me blogging when all my other cousins have gone to decorate the hall? Now that would be really rude hehe. It's only like 10 days all up, so I will be back soon. So yeah, there's alot of love in the air right now (I get teary at weddings :)) and I'm hoping my dearest cousin and her man will have a beautiful blessed future together forever, cos marriage is not just about the pretty ceremony...it's a life-long bond that needs alot of dedication. True love survives against all odds and I hope they will both have that love in them going on forever. Today I put up one of my favorite Hindi songs ever for all of you to enjoy while I'm away. It's 'Dam Maaro Dam' by Asha Bhosle , from the 1971 movie 'Hare Rama Hare Krishna'..I wasn't even born then but I love this song so much and dance to it like crazy. Here's the meaning of it that I got from youTube:

Dam maaro dam, mit jaaye gham

Bolo subh shaam, hare krishna hare ram

(Smoke weed Smoke,

forget your sorrow,

Say morning evening,hare krishna hare ram)

Duniya ne humko......
(What the world has given us, what the world has taken from us.

Why do we care about anybody,

what they have done for us)

Chaahe jiyenge marenge....

(Whether we live or die,

we will not be scared

Nobody can stop us, will do what we want)

UPDATE:You can check the video of that song here (cos I updated Current Music to another Hindi favorite of mine from the movie MURDER).

Isn't that cool now :) Ok guys I'm gonna miss you so take care and know that you will all be thought of, yes EVERYDAY. Au Revoir my dear ones MWAHHH!


Current Music: Dam Maaro Dam by Asha Bhosle

Current Music Update: Kaho Na Kaho by Amir Jamal

Life's A Melody

Hey guys hows it going? I had a 'shopping' weekend so need I say what it was like...it was just fantastic! Girls guess what - I bought a new pair of Summer shoes and they are just gorgeous! They are very much like the ones in this pic except that the cords are tied around the legs. Super sexy ;-). A bit of retail therapy there. So what did you buy for yourself in the weekend? Anyways today I'm going to take up a tag that Niki and Fleiger wanted me to do yonks ago and have probably given up on me by now - sorry guys! Anyways I kept my promise somehow ok?? :) So the tag goes like this: Answer the following personal questions with a song that suits your asnwer. Anyone who wants to take up the tag is welcome to do so. Now let me dive in!

1.How does the world see you?

Freestyler by Bomfunk MC

It's rather how I see myself. Cos I think I'm a very free soul. I just live and let live, and I do things in my own style. I don't copy and no I don't take rules seriously! I just do what I want to do in my own bloody way, whether people like it or not.

2.Will I have a happy life?

Tragedy by The Bee Gees

Life doesn't promise you happiness. You have to promise yourself that you'll be happy with whatever life offers you. My life's been a tragedy many a times but through it all, I say to myself 'who's had a great life without knowing a whole lot of tears anyways'. And I move on.

3.What do my friends think of me as?

My Humps by Black-Eyed-Peas

hehehe cos you know I always love to shake 'my humps...my humps my humps my humps...my lovely lady lumps (check it out!)...' ;-)

4.Do people secretly lust after me?

Sex Bomb by Tom Jones

LOL ok I don't know if the men I know secretly lust after me but sometimes they do indicate that when they speak to me...maybe guys here can tell me if you lust after me?

'sexbomb sexbomb...you're my sexbomb...and baby you can turn me on! ;-)

5.How can I make myself happy?

Life For Rent by Dido

I see this life as something given to us on rent. We own it for a while and we have to pay some heavy prices to keep it going. It's a sacrifice and it's a reward at the same time. So be happy while you rent your life folks, nothing in life is your's to keep. When the call comes, you have to hand over the property and you've gotta go. So yeah, enjoy while you rent it and forget about the costs!

6.What should I do with my life?

Fame by Irene Cara

'(faaaaame)... I'm gonna make it to heaven...light up the sky like a flame (faaaame)
I'm gonna live forever...baby, remember my name...'

I don't mean I wanna climb up the success ladders and be a top star. What I meant by using that song is that even if I'm not a celebrity or some famous figure in this world, I wanna make a difference in atleast one person's life and that I will be remembered for that even after I'm gone. I don't wanna die without making a difference.

7.Will I ever have children?

Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N Roses

I cant really answer that question yet (though I would love to have a girl and a boy some day as my sweet little kids). But even if that doesn't happen for some reason, I'm happy with the kid in me who always brags like a baby LOL...and I entertain myself all the time, and hell yeah I'm still my momma's little girl :).

8.What is some good advise for me?

You Know You're Right by Nirvana

Well why I selected that song as the answer is cos when people advise me, it always sounds so right and I feel like a fool. Even if I can't go by their advice, the adviser always seems right isn't that so?

9.How will I be remembered?

November Rain by Guns N Roses

I see myself as a temporary summer rain that's visiting this Earth. I won't last forever and I hope to be remembered as the cool rains in that Summer who brought you some joy.

'cause nothin' lasts forever...even cold November rain...'

10.What's my signature dancing song?

What A Feeling by Irene Cara

I always dance to this song like a maniac. I put it so loud in my room and run around dancing like Jennifer Beals. Serious!

11.What's my current theme song?

It's Raining Men by Geri Halliwell

Hallelujah it's raining hunks in Sydney! And the blonde guy who was seated next to me on the train this morning was a hottie in caps and I couldn't believe I was listening to this same song while sitting so close to him ooo lala! He looked alot like my future boyfriend but damnnnnn he had to get out one station before mine - I hope and pray to the good Lord that he changes jobs and moves somewhere close to my office LOL!

12.What do others think about my current theme song?

Does Your Mother Know by ABBA

LOL cos I'm sure you're wondering if my mum knows about all my train games ;-)

13.What shall they play at my funeral?

The Reason by Hoobastank

When I die, I want some dear ones in my life to know who I really was. When people are alive, it takes alot for loved-ones to understand one another cos they don't think that life will end some day. It is only when someone dies that most people wish they said/did many things with their departed loved-ones. And I believe this song speaks for me, my life, my tears.

14.What type of men/women do I like?

Endless Summer Nights by Richard Marx

I'm not a lesbian so I'll stick to men ok. I love men who have a summery sunshiney bubbly and lively spirit. Men who are as hot as endless summer nights ;-). Men who keep me glued to them that I don't even wanna go home hehehe.

15.How's my love life?

What Is Love by Haddaway

The song explains everything about my love-life that's in extinction right? :) Well not really, what I mean is my love-life seems to always, I mean always end up in tragedy. So what really is LOVE? It doesn't seem to be something that's made for me.

Ok Guys happy week ahead! MWAHHHHHHHZ!

Current Music: Freestyler by Bomfunk MC

Lamps Of Love

Guys my mood just got better and better...why cos you guys made sure I got better. I'm so lucky, I mean really lucky to have such a loving and caring bunch of friends always here for me. None of my family or friends have such a big crowd always offering love and support like I have here. So I guess even if I don't have anything else in life, having all of you to fill my senses, to lift me up, to quench my thirst of love, to be my crutches when I can't walk, to remind me the tune of my song when it seems to fade, to be there when everyone else have left and to grant me vision when I'm blind has made me rise up and march ahead. Nothing can conquer my spirits as long as I have you. Your love will keep me alive. Thank you so much for being my guiding light!

Talking about lights, it's Diwali (Deepavali) tomorrow - the Light festival that's celebrated by Hindus around the world. I remember my post about Diwali last year - read it here if you have time. Diwali is not only about dressing up in new clothes, lighting diyas (lamps), eating sweets and going to temple. It's also about renewing your heart. Adding some light into the darknesses that may be bothering you and others in your life. It's about lighting up your lives in a way that changes you and others around you positively. Now think about a lamp in the following manner:

Imagine the lamp is your Heart. The oil is Love. The wick is the Ego. The matchstick is the Sacrifice. The Fire (light) is Spiritualism. So when you light the lamp of your heart with the matchstick of sacrifice and the fire of spiritualism, you are burning the wick of your ego with the help of the oil of love. To get the love in your heart to work effectively, you've got to sacrifice alot and burn the ego and other life-ruining emotions with the light of spiritualism. This will take you from darkness to light. What's the use of a lamp if it's not lighted? Likewise what's the use of a heart if it can't use the love it has, to spread light?

So this Diwali, light up your hearts and spread some love, real love - not just verbal kind. Try to apply this in your lives and see how bright your lives can get. It doesn't mean you'll have a rosy and easy life, but when you have defeated your own ego, you can be content in any situation and with anyone. (btw don't assume I have achieved it fully - I'm learning too). The strongest weapon one can have is true spiritualism. And people will see how bright and beautiful you have become. So light up your life, spread some real love and light to everyone else around you. Tomorrow I'm going to light up alot of colorful clay lamps and leave them in my balcony, and we will dress up and go to the temple. This year I wanna pray for strength in everyone's heart to realise that love should be spread to be effective for you and everyone else. Happy Diwali my dear ones and thanks for being the many lights in my life!

~~Dedicated to ALL OF YOU.

Current Music: My Sweet Lord by George Harrison

Fool On Duty

You can have everything else in life but if you don't have love, respect, understanding and appreciation from your near and the dear ones, then you have nothing. If they can't and won't take few minutes to really listen to what you have to say, if they don't seem to understand how you feel, if they don't respect your feelings, if their love is just verbal only and if they demonstrate that your existence in their life is not appreciated, then why do you still hang around wanting to be heard and loved.

Guys I feel really sad today. I feel I was living a lie all this time. You know when you go on pretending for a long time like everything is ok but suddenly it hits ya and you realise it's high time that you accept it than keep pretending it's all rosy. It's one of those days that I feel like I was a fool for far too long. It's like I was a ghost of someone else that I had to be and I just realised that. I wanted to be wanted but it seems like it never was and it never will be. Sometimes I really think I would be better off dead.

Anyways, take care. I shall be ok. Till next time enjoy my 'Casual-ties' post below.

Current Music: Everybody's Fool by Evanescence

Current Music Update: Send Me An Angel by Scorpions

Casual-ties

What do you think about casual sex? In Australia (and other parts of the world) it is quite common. Alot of people settle for casual sex relationships cos it's probably convenient, no-strings-attached and easy. But to be honest, I don't understand casual sex. How can you have sex with someone without having true feelings for that person? How can you use your body just for carnal pleasure and not feel gulity about it? How can there be mutual respect in such a relationship? How can you disrespect your body so much that you let lust overtake you?How can you make love to someone without love being involved? I have heard of and know of people who have long-term casual-sex relationships. They just meet, do it and say goodbye! Even some married couples do this with others. And there are these Swingers Clubs all over the place where married couples exchange their partners just for sex. Apparently they all go to one place, leave all the car keys in a bowl and then every woman gets to pick a car key each. And then they go out for that night with whoever that car key belongs to. I think it's pretty grotesque and cheap. Not only that, just imagine how many other countless partners they may have had/be having and how many sexually transmitted diseases (read the article linked here about AIDS, Herpes, Syphillis, Hepatitis etc) those people may be carrying! If you type 'Sexually Transmitted Diseases' in Google Images, then you will see some pics of patients that wil scare you to eternity. I also read that due to increasing casual sex lives among young people these days, STDs are spreading like wild fire. So it's a huge health risk too. Sorry if I'm hurting anyone through this post but this is my honest opinion and we all need to know this.

I have been brought up to control my desires and respect my body. Men and women who are casual sex players and Swingers clubbies have totally lost control of their senses. So how different are they when compared to animals? Have you seen the movie 'Mixed Doubles'. If you haven't seen it, get it and watch it - it's a great movie. It's about a married Indian couple and how the husband wants to mmmm you know, just 'swing'. And you must must must see what happens in the end. Hilarious and shocking! Shows where uncontrolled lust can take you. Anyways, all I can say is if having no sex makes you feel empty, then you are missing out on a whole lot of other things in life. Sex is necessary in life but you really shouldn't be compromising your dignity or your health just to have it. So beware, be safe and be well.

btw guys if any of you feel I'm just always preaching here in the dark, please know that I'm preaching with real-life experiences AND I practice what I preach. Therefore I have every right to preach some principles I value and am able to apply in my life. I don't write posts in my blog just cos I want to spice up my blog or just cos it's a great topic that will draw comments. I'm not here for competition. And I'm not a girl who needs attention to believe in what I believe. I can believe in what I believe just by myself - I don't need anyone to approve of it. All my posts come out of real-life experiences and it's either about me or someone I know/have heard of etc. So if you think I'm just a preacher here wasting my breath, yakking endlessly with no actions, then I'm really sorry that you think that way about me. And that's probably cos you don't know me at all. No hard feelings anyways. Thanks and g'day to yus all!

Current Music: If You Don't Know Me By Now by Simply Red

V For Vendetta

What is punishment? What is revenge? What is pay-back? I think they are all the same. And it all comes out of sheer anger, pain and disappointment...from that 'I'm right and you're wrong' judgement. I know a story of a woman who's ex-BF set her house on fire cos she broke up with her. That's bitter revenge. What would he have received from doing it - a few minutes of cruel satisfaction perhaps. And after that how would he have felt? Nothing except further intensified pangs of vengeance, more hatred and anger! The girl lost her home and all her belongings. Few years down the track when he's older and frail, perhaps he will feel ashamed about himself. Cos not only did he lose the girl, but he also lost his self-respect, cool and dignity...he basically lost himself. By committing an act of revenge, by not being able to forgive and move on, you only end up with no solution, further conflict and loss of the power in you to change...to be in total control of yourself.

Why I'm writing this post today is cos I was watching the news the other day, and all I saw was bloodshed everywhere - nothing new. In the Middle East, people are dying everyday...women running around crying for their dead men...children stranded...school shootings...never-ending war...death..destruction...VENGEANCE diguised in different masks. And I was thinking the root cause of all this is that inevitable human craving for REVENGE. But is it really inevitable? I don't think so. Just that most people are so 'used' to taking revenge. 'You take my eye and I'll take your's' kind of attitude. That's the way the world operates these days and it's only gotten worse. Cos time and time again, people fail to think outside that scope. They just go with how it has always been. Hence they don't even stop to think if it really agrees with their own reason and common sense. I'm a strong opponent of Capital Punishment. I even wrote a post about it long time ago...you can read it here - 'In Search Of Compassion'. Alot of people then tried to convince me that DEATH is necessary as a punishment for those who kill/rape others. Maybe at first appearance it feels that way. That's cos we all have the pangs of vengeance in us - hatred and anger running through our veins. Settling scores seem to be the only way. But is killing the criminal going to undo the already committed crime or bring back the already dead people? Or does it even give an opportunity for the criminal to realise and repent his sins? I say it only doubles the crime and it takes us down to the same IQ level of the criminal. Cos he/she committed an act of violence as a result of some sort of vengeance that was deep-seeded in their minds. And now we are doing the same! As long as vengeance is implemented as a means of deterrent, we are going to always swim in vengeance. From violence one can never achieve peace and resolution. (double_click on image to read it clearly).

My point is revenge is never going to bring you or the other person a lasting solution. It's only going to bind you in an ever-growing conflict and hatred. Isn't that why these wars go on for years and years with no resolution? Even at home, when someone does something hurtful, we often try to prove our point and we never give up on that 'I'm always right' attitude. But by doing that we become blind to our own mistakes. We therefore become just like the other person and we lose the power in us to be content by forgiving and spreading some compassion. There's great power in compassion than you may think. Alot of people don't stop to think what compassion is cos they always want to take that fast lane of revenge that everyone else takes. Compassion heals and from compassion comes real solutions. That's what Buddhism teaches and there's great power in that line. In Christianity they say 'show the other cheek when slapped'. It's not just a pretty line for people to read and then fight the very next day...in that line there's higher power to change you and the other person, and bring long-lasting solutions to everyone. Your greatest 'Revenge' from anything/anyone should really be to LIVE in a manner that's not the same as your opponent's. Love your enemy - nothing will bug him/her more. Obtain a higher power than the other person, both emotionally and spiritually. And great rewards will follow.

So why can't most people just see beyond revenge anymore? Are people blind to go on like this for years and years in conflict? Perhaps they are blind...cos they have been taught to take an eye for an eye all this time. And no eyes mean no sight. I read somewhere that the 7 wonders of this world is to see, hear, smell, touch, feel, love and laugh. But we always choose to disable ourselves deliberately. Time to make use of the 7 wonders we have been blessed with, heal ourselves and cure others too.

Current Music: Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac

The Great Extinction

Genre: Humor (so chillax).

Ladies and (sometimes-not-so) Gentlemen, it seems like my love-life is in extinction. Therefore do I even have to tell you about my rather invisible sex-life? It's as dead as the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Precious fossils of it can be found in my mental museum. Well I'm not complaining cos I think this is how it was all laid out for me by the old man upstairs - maybe He knew where it would have taken me and slowed the pace after a few demented Dinosaurs. Just like wildlife protection is necesssary, Keshi's love-life protection is indeed required but it has no funds or organisations around it. No one seems to be even thinking it's an endangered species - most of them see it as a nutty species that need to be left alone. Anyways as endangered as I may feel, I also feel a great sense of relief that my love-life is near-death. Cos it lets me look around without bias and selfishness. I don't mean that people who have a love-life are selfish, but having a love-life in full swing sometimes makes you blind to other areas in life. Been there done that, so I'm talking about me, not you. Well the number of BFs I have had in the past (according to my love-life stats) is quite a healthy number and although that number is dwindling right now resembling the white Rhinoceros' count, I don't think my love-life needs to be secured in a sanctuary somewhere in Africa! Sometimes I do feel like I'm a rare species that's being oohed and ahhed at by a group of people on a safari. Anyways why do I think my love-life is in extinction? Well this is why:

**Potential partners only exist in the past/movies/blogs and is as rare as spotting a Giant Panda on any Tuesday
**Everytime my Blue-bellied Parrot of a love-life gets lucky, there's always a habitat killer
**When I do find a great guy, in the end it turns out to be that he was just hunting for my 'tusks' - leaves me feeling like an African Elephant
**When things get serious in my love-life, the very next day it mocks back at me like a Hybrid Spider Monkey and asks me to get real
**Each time I try to recall my last romantic encounter, I laugh like a Gorilla - not cos it's funny but cos the 'last time' seems like it was 100yrs ago
**Old aunts remind me that I'm running around without a man for some time now and that it's really uncommon in our family as much as the Red Wolf is in the world
**I'm receiving alot of wedding invitations these days (most of the brides are younger than me) and usually I end up being the only Snow Leopard at these weddings
**My mum says I'd be married to my car and closet forever, and each time she says that I disappear in a dash like the Pygmy Possum
**A friend brings a marriage proposal (for the 1st and the last time) and when I meet him he turns out to be a hairy-nosed Wombat - yes rare but wouldn't mind his extinction

**The opposite sex who is the responsible care-taker of my love-life seems to be pouncing away from me like a Sumatran Tiger that's being hunted for skin
**A great catch is as rare as a Silver Shark is and it seems such guys see me as a common over-populated kind of shark

**I feel as blue as the Blue Whale when I go to parties and see couples hugging and kissing that makes me wonder if I'm the only Brontosaurus left on Earth

**Mistletoe seems like some long-lost memory of a Short-tailed Chinchilla

**Going back to memories of past BFs and relationships makes me feel like I'm walking in Jurassic Park
**However, to me marriage sounds like a Californian Condor out to get it's prey so its really ok guys, I'm cool, don't shower me with sympathies now pleeeeeease ;-)

btw today's music is dedicated to a lovely lady named Ghee. Heyyy beautiful ;-) enjoy!

Current Music: What's Left Of Me by Nick Lachey

The Connection

Imagine living in a house with no electricity. How dark and scary will that be. You won't be able to see what's around you at night, and you might even trip on something and fall. How dangerous is that. So you may live without light for years and end up hurt, even scarred being blind to the dangers of it. When you make the decision to get the electricity connection to your house, you will start seeing. Your accidents will be less and you will know where you're walking. You no longer have to crawl. But you didn't make that choice all these years. Why? Cos you 'chose' to be in the dark. You thought you were always right and you overlooked the hurt it caused. Darkness swallowed you and left you in the attic. But now that light has been searched for, you are connected. Connected with your inner soul and the people and things around you. You 'see' yourself and others clearly. You have a choice to make. Either be in the dark forever or seek the connection, bask in it and start seeing. Firstly you have to realise that there's a connection waiting for you to be connected with. So wake up, come out of the darkest pits, get the connection and light up your life. Whatever it may be that you're bogged down by, be it fear, insecurity, jealousy, greed, anger, ego, pride, selfishness etc, there's a supply of light waiting to be found. If there's a demand for it from your end, you will benefit from the supply. So seek the 'connection' today. And call me when you illuminate your house - I can wait.

~~Dedicated to someone I love~~

Current Music: Sara by Fleetwood Mac

Highway Temptress

Weekend got me frozen in shock people. Let me tell you what happened. Saturday morning we had a house-warming party to attend to. One of our friends bought a brand new house and so it was their party. They are Indians so there was this puja (prayer) and then lunch. I was all decked up in Indian gear and I kind of like doing that...makes me feel very cultural and Bollywoodish hehe. Well after having lunch we had another party to go to in the evening. A friend (Sara and her husband) invited our family and another group of friends for dinner and karaoke at their place (knowing how crazy we are about singing and how desperate we are to become suburban rock-stars). Their beautiful house is about a 45mins drive away from where we live. So all of us friends, sis, mum and I went there and had a great time that night...lovely dinner and then a whole lot of singing. We sang Air Supply, Chicago, ABBA, Bryan Adams, Spice Girls, Jim Reeves, John Denver etc etc. It was just great! The singing was so infectious that we couldn't stop till about 1:15am! Yeah mum didn't mind as long as she was with us so it was going on and on. Anyways then we decided we should hit the roads before it's too late so we all said our goodbyes, thankyous, hugs and mwahs and left. My sis was driving that night and I was seated in the front passenger seat. Mum was sitting at the back and all our other friends left in their cars. So once we hit the motorway, it was pitch dark (although there were lights every few metres) and looked quite haunted at that time of the night. So it was just the long dark massive road and us. I put the CD on just so that we all don't fall asleep and I started yakking as usual. Told my mum that these are the kinds of roads where some people see female ghosts asking for lifts at this time of the night. LOL just to scare mum. And she said 'yes I know and I even know so many real stories like that'. Then I was like goshhh I hope I don't see a ghost right now cos if I did I'd go mental (as if right now my mental state wasn't bad enough). Anyways we drove for about 40mins and we were just getting close to home. There's a left turn from the highway to the main road that leads to the suburb we live in. As we turned that corner ALL THREE OF US JUST FROZE IN COMPLETE SHOCK! It was about 1:50am and in that corner where 3 roads met, there's a lamp post. In front of that lamp post, there was a beautiful, tall Caucasian woman (about 20-25yrs of age) standing right there, beautifully dressed up in a black satin sleeveless top and black pants! She was holding a huge boquet of white roses (looked almost like funeral flowers) and she was holding it like she was holding a baby - so careful and smiling towards her arms! WHO/WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!!! I got goosebumps as I write this post! Trust me all 3 of us saw her and she was so close to our car. As we turned the corner she just stood there staring at our car! I was like 'MUMMMMMMMMMM did you see her????' and my mum was like 'who is this girl standing here at this time of the night with roses?????' My sis who was driving nearly braked hard and was absolutely gob-smacked! Trust me she's someone who doesn't believe in this kind of thing but after seeing that girl, she was totally jaw-dropped! She didn't know what to say. We wanted to drive back and see who she was but mum said lets just not be too brave at that time of the night. As we drove past her I turned and looked at her and I saw a very tall pale-looking beauty just suddenly frozen like a mannequin! She didn't cross the road (there was no pedestrian crossing there and it was a very busy junction where no pedestrians could usually be dropped or picked up at) and there were no houses on either side of the road. Just the long road and the bush! So who was she, what was she doing with a boquet of white roses at that time of the day, why was she so beautifully dressed like she was going to a wedding and that late at night? No she wasn't a prostitute cos that's not a place for such women to stand and she didn't look like one. And I remember I saw a a roadside grave (memorial flowers tied to that lamp post) EXACTLY at that point about a month ago when I was driving past it. Did we really see a dead girl that night?

Current Music: Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

Man I Feel Like A Woman!

Ok guys 'THE' break was GREAT! It was full-on FUN, and boy o boy what a hunk-fest - droooolzz! Among those tulips I spotted some real hot bods ;-) . Too bad the tulips took precedence over the blokes so I couldn't really stalk them hehe - next time I will ok. The hotel was heavenly! Though we believed it to be a quiet Canberra country-style hotel, it was posh, huge and at the same time very very green and relaxing - no ghosts etc (pic5). That pic was taken from my mobile phone early on Monday morning when all the guests were snoring. Yeah I was haunting the hotel corridors in my PJs Fleiger. Sunday night we had a number of cocktails and that's when Kath txted me...alot of hunks were around the bar watching soccer so my cocktails were even more easier to gulp down woooosh! 2 friends and I just sat there watching Soccer and alot of other things ahemmm! btw I remembered all of you that night. Somehow I imagined that all the people who were there that night were you guys - laughing, chatting, drinking and enjoying each others' company - just like here in blogs. There was also a wedding taking place that night so the atmosphere was merrier. Sight-seeing included the great Tulip festival ofcourse, few beautiful farms and apple orchards on the way, an amazing forest church in Berrima (pic1), the Australian War memorial (was just brilliant and truly moving - made me cry) and few other relaxing picnic spots. Spotted alot of kangaroos, wallabies and a kookaburra (pics 2 and 3). Can you see the Kookaburra up the tree? One other thing..we all had so much fun and laughed till our stomachs hurt :):). The drive (3hrs one way) was brilliant - that's the Aussie parliament taken from inside my sis' car as we enter it (pic4). The red car in front is one of our friends' car. We spent 3 days in Canberra and got home on Tuesday. I've been to Canberra 6 times before but each time I go it's the scenic drive that I like. We pass through so many cattle/fruit farms, vast spaces of empty land, wild life and beautiful scenery. It's just out of this world! Got too many pics and I cant put them all up here cos some of them are censored haha! So I'll just stick to the flowers, church and wild-life. One other thing...I ate too much! I better be exercising hard this weekend or else I'll be walking around like the Michelin tyre man for sure. ooops I forgot I have 2 parties tomorrow...no I will refuse to eat anything heavy and if they force me I'll cry. btw there was this cute Aussie guy staring at me at one of the restaurants (listen up Ari)...he even gave me some very sweet eye-contact. And when he got up and was leaving with his friend, he winked at me, hehe cute. I just smiled - I mean I can't look desperate and run behind him can I. But I knew that he really wanted to talk to me and I was with a big crowd so he couldn't make the move I guess. And I kind of thought he was cute too but who knows! Anyways post-trip I'm still single and kicking ;-) btw I was thinking why can't people appreciate nature that is so beautiful and that doesn't change itself for anything at all. Why do people change and why do they fight and create wars when there's so much to enjoy in life. I also felt like recommending this Tulip festival for all the terrorists out there...they need a break mannn!

Ok enough about my break. Thought I'd make this post more interesting now. Got a question for all of you. If you were the opposite sex just for one day, what would you do in that 24hrs?

Here's my answer:

If I were a boy for one day I'd do these things:

**Walk around bare-chested and feel the cool breeze on my chest

**Skinny-dip in Bondi beach - yeah I'd do it!

**Perv at every pretty chick and see what it does to my certain body-parts

**Check how hard it is to put the toilet-seat down after peeing

**French-kiss a chick for 10mins and check out which planet it takes me to

**Try hard to survive with one girlfriend for atleast 2hrs

**Check out what big boobs does to my mental stability

**Forget a GF's bday and realise how dumb it is to fight over it

**Go to a bar, sit in a corner and get stoned till I can't walk

**Have a stripper dance for me and see what that does to my conscience

**Come home and sleep in my shorts only - I envy guys cos they can be bare-chested anytime

**Have a girl propose to me and really understand why I'm deciding to change countries

**Go to a male toilet and check out it's bizzare architecture

**Find a way not to flirt every 2mins

**Check out how saving money on Bras can make me richer

**Wolf-whsitle at a chick passing by to see if it's really satisfying

**Scan ASS and see what my brain tells me as I check out every inch

Your turn now, go for it girls and boys! btw October 1st was my 2nd blog birthday and I can't believe I have been 'bluggin' for 2 whole years. Anyways, have a great weekend guys and play it safe!

Current Music: If You Leave Me Now by Chicago

Thumbelina For A Day

Hey Guys I'm back! Thanks for all the messages...awww I missed you too HUGGGGGGGZ! Just look at these pics taken from my camera at the Floriade (Tulips festival) in Canberra and you can imagine what my mini-break was like! I will get back to the comments in the last post, your blogs and a post about my colorful get-away as soon as I get a breather. I just got back so I'm buried with work (how I wish I was still at that magical hotel...). For now, just enjoy the heavenly Tulip meadows I was absolutely mesmerised by in the weekend. It just took my breath away! Heyyy it feels so good to be back in your arms babehs. Hope all are well, love ya, stay gold always and catch you soon ok. Smoochesssssss all the way!

Current Music: Take My Breath Away by Berlin