The sHit List

Ok as much as there's massive mind-rotting shit offline, there's such shit online too. So here's a list of what I see as Online Shit. Now this is MY list, not your's. So chillax *rolling eyes*. You may not consider some of these as shit...you may actually like them and I can't help that ok LOL! Anyways here I go with my Online sHit List:


*Orkut, Fuckbook, Assbook etc - I know some people use these social networking sites to keep in touch with their loved-ones, to share pics etc and that's ok. But I don't quite gel well with these sites...one glance of it put me off big time...maybe cos I get easily bored in a place where there's nothing new to learn. It's a Time-wasting haven I say!

*Anonymous assholes - Internet is a Jerks' paradise I tell ya. It gives any whackjob all the freedom in the world to train their Dickheadism to the max, without getting whacked where it hurts the most. As much as I have been subjected to such embryonically-deprived assholes, it has made me totally immune to such crap, which is great btw. Anonymous immunisation I tell ya!

*Blockbuster opened mouth idiots - Some people find the net a refuge to flaunt their stupidity so they display it oh so generously. Cos it's a cheaper, easier and safer avenue to open their unskilled mouths without thinking and without getting bashed up black and blue ofcourse. Untreated Gingivitis I say!

*Dick addicts - Net is a place for Ted Bundy kinda sex maniacs to roam free and target innocent victims, even children. I wonder what these blue-in-the-face nymphos do as they chat to innocents at their expense. Shit load of masturbating IDs I say!

*Annoying Penis-enlargement spam - Now do you think I need a Penis enlargment? Well it seems some people think I need it! *rolling eyes* Maybe in my next life, and if I'm a male aaaand if I'm insecure, I'd consider reading such revolting spam ok. Erectile AND Brain dysfunction at it's best I guess!

*Music download sites that piss you off to eternity - some Music download sites ask you for your email, phone number, granma's name, uncle's height etc etc for a FREE download and the questions never seem to end! Wonder what their last question would be - if I'm a virgin or how long my legs are? I get so angry I close the browser most of the time in total frustration. Download a gun I must!

*Gunk mail - such as 'Discounted meds' kinda fucked up shit. Tell me who really sends this kind of dumb marketing messages in this day and age? Does anybody even read it past the subject line? Chances are if someone wants discounted shit, they'd be in the Reject shop - not on the net. Glorious discounted truck load of gunk I tell ya!

*Chat rooms - well there used to be a time when I chatted online...say for about 3 months. And then I was so over it, very quickly too. I can't stand it anymore. It's boring to the core and seem to eat my cranium just thinking about it. Stinking chat 'slaughter' rooms rather!


Well I think these are what annoys me the most about the Internet. And yes I get murderous just thinking about them, hence the Hit list. Tell me what you consider as Online shit. Go for it my wisest lot on the Internet, yes that's you guys. MWAH!

This song is especially for Samby...cos he loves the older and sexier Kim ;-). Samby please stay, WE LOVE YA!


Current Music: You Keep Me Hangin' On by Kim Wilde

Suga-Dad Meh!

Richard Gere, come here!

Gordon Ramsay, heyy wutsay?

Barack Obama, come to momma!

Richard Branson, cheeks so crimson!









I have a major crush on all of the above older men. Surprised? I think it's not only their looks, but also their intelligence and maturity that turns me on. I'm a huge fan of Gere's glasses and skills...I wish I could put em on for him *ahem*. I'm a hopeless slave for Ramsay's constant swearing and professionalism...yes it turns me on *fuck yeah!*. I'm a hungry lil kitten for Obama's genes and intelligence...he can ring my bell anytime! *imagines eating choc-chip ice-cream*. I'm in love with Branson...just cos he's the guru behind 'Virgin' and also cos he's smart as hell *licks her lips*. I don't know what it is, but I have a thing for older men..urrrrrrggg not bed-ridden and bed-wetting oldies ok. And it isnt about the money either. I'm just attracted to good-looking, educated, brainy, sensitive, mature, well-established older men like these 4 men. I find older men easier to have a conversation with, sensible, strong, understanding, sexy, protective, loving and more caring than younger men who are mostly only interested in sex. These men turn me on than Brad Pitt does me, I swear! What say girls? Why are some older men much more attractive than younger men and who are your older-men crushes? Guys here, you can share your older-women crushes too...if you have any that is. All my little brothers in Blogville can now declare thier love for me here *bats her eyelashes and waits eagerly*. ;-)

Current Music: Turn Me On by Norah Jones

Walking On Fire

Have you ever felt like you were walking on fire? Still smiling as your feet burnt to ashes...still keeping your head straight and looking ahead to the future, when your feet were blistering in the heat and aching to put out the fire. Did you feel like you were sleeping on a bed of thorns that you could never wake up from? And still have you kept on marching ahead without your conscience faltering, longing to beat the pain some day? Have you continued your journey no matter how much the scorching flames tried to get you down? Have you felt that glimmering bit of hope dancing in front of your eyes while you thought you were dying? Did you see that faraway refuge as you kept walking among the crackling flames? And did that hope of a mirage-like shelter keep you walking no matter what? Did a voice inside you tell you that this fire will find it's water somehow, when all your pain will cease to exist? And did that voice keep you going even when your feet were burning in that raging fire's glory? Then you reached a certain point when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, did you finally feel a cool drop of water falling on your chest? And did that drop of water run down to your feet and slowly put out the fire? Did you then feel that you finally reached that glimmer of hope you felt long time ago? Did your burning soul then bathe in fresh cool water to feel it's destination? Did you then for a while sleep on a bed of roses...

And the Flying Kissee of the day is....

Someone who fits this post perfectly and it's none other than my dearest mate Ghosty! Ghosty and I have been good friends for a while now and it already seems like I've known him for life. The posts that he writes come from the bottom of his soul...no one can write like Ghosty writes! If you already know him, you know what I'm talking about. He has a style of writing that can never be replicated...that can never be stolen...that can never be forgotten. There's a reason for that. And that reason is cos he's been through hell...he's seen it all...he's felt like no one else has...he has walked on fire many times...cos he 'sees' the world more than many of us do. He deserves much more respect, love and introduction than what this post could possibly convey. But I wanna tell Ghosty how much I love him as a person and how much respect I have for him. There were many times that I felt Ghosty is writing exactly what I experienced...only that he does it better than how I could possibly convey. He's the master, he's the soul. The soul of pure humanness. Ghosty I want you to know that I've slept on beds of thorns and walked on fire like everyone else have...just know that we also get to feel the water sometimes. So have faith and hope, cos we all walk together somehow. MWACCKKZZZ Ghosty! Dija feel it? :) This song is especially for you...it's one of my favs from Bon Jovi. Enjoy, it's your day! Your friendship and love for me in Blogville has touched me deeply and please know that I will always be there for you like you were, are and undoubtedly will be, there for me...

Current Music: Bed Of Roses by Bon Jovi

The Cure

It's raining right now. It's freezing cold too. I'm sipping hot coffee, sitting on my bed listening to this current song, thinking...of someone. His fingers, his hands...his spine-tingling touch. That's enough to get me excited. His face, his eyes...his soul-piercing look. That's enough for me to forget about being good. His lips, his tongue...his heart-caressing voice. That's enough for me to be his slave. His breath, his nibbles...temperature-rising smell of his skin. That's enough for me to forget about everything else. His taste, feel, whispers, caresses all wrapped in one expression called LOVE...a love that was based on LUST. Or was it a LUST that was based on LOVE. I don't know. Either way, it's a cure. Sometimes it's just liberating to feel and act upon true feelings than put things off and go looking for something that might not be there. In short, the cure is in your own hands. And it doesn't matter that it didn't last forever...nothing does.

Current Music: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You by Heart

I Hate Goodbyes!

I'm back guys. My cuz will be leaving tomorrow morning *sobs uncontrollably*. She's visiting some of her Sydney friends today so I'm at work now. I dread thinking about her leaving tomorrow...cos I know she won't be visiting me for another few years (God knows what'll happen in between). We had tons of fun in the last 3 days (including a hunk-watch that went terribly wrong. Cos it ended in some 100yr old guy nearly asking us out LOL!). I will update with more pics and details later on (this pic was taken 2 days ago just before we hit the mall for some serious shopping...and the bottom pic was taken before we hit the City on Tuesday night). From tomorrow I will miss her so very much. It's ok..atleast we got a chance to hang out with each other for few days. I'm counting my blessings right now guys!

Ofcourse I missed you all too...that's why I'm here already with so much work to do too :). My cuz bought me 2 beautiful tops as pressies (even though I don't want anything else but her company). So now I want to give her something beautiful to take back with her (we always do this everytime we meet). She has tons of clothes and did buy heaps from Sydney too. So I don't really know what to get her this time..I've run out of ideas cos I have basically given her everything including perfume, shoes, clothes, earrings, Winter gear etc etc. So guys, gimme some unique gift ideas if you can - before tonight that is! And keep it simple cos I don't have enough time to get creative before she leaves tomorrow morning...so tell me something I could buy from the shops...something sweet, something memorable and something that stands for an undying sisterly bond. Thanks guys MWAH!

oww how I hate Goodbyes :*( I wanna seal these moments in a bottle so that I can open it whenever I want and bask in that same happiness again. I'll be missin ya mah dahlin-suga-cupcake-soul sista! *stares at the wall, shedding silent tears*

Current Music: Every Breath You Take by The Police

Renu And Me

Guess what guys? My fav cuz Renu arrived from NZ today for a brief holiday (only for 4 days though *SOB*)! We are of the same age, same madness levels, same kinda fashion slaves, same kinda drama queens, same everything! She and I basically grew up together and whenever I go to NZ on holz, I stay at her place..only cos she wouldn't allow me to stay anywhere else *rolling eyes*. We are that close. My sis picked her up from the airport this morning, she's at our place right now and I'll be going home after work to give her a big HUG and talk talk talk talk talk until we fall asleep...yes she and I are blockbuster chatterboxes and we crack jokes and laugh til we run outta breath. As little kids, together we used to go knock on doors and hide,...and yes we got caught one day *broken record kinda music follows*. We were about 6yrs old then. Just as we were gonna knock on this old guy's door and run away like we usually did, a very angry face opened the door yelling at us even before we could place our knuckles on his door LOL! We ran away before that giant angry shark-lookalike could swallow us! That day we got busted from my dad big time. My dad heard about it from that guy and he was looking for us...and I was crying non-stop behind the car (hiding from my dad) while Renu was shushing me and calling me an idiot for crying. We didn't go home for a while that day. Somehow our dad found us behind the car and that was the day we stopped our little knocking-on-doors game. But ofcourse we started another notorious game straight after that LOL! And that was dialling wrong numbers and annoying people on the other end *what else can 2 naughty kids do when asked to stay indoors right?*. Yes, both she and I love to have fun and we continued that even after we grew up...and now we hunk-watch together like crazy and laugh non-stop LOL! Yes, she and I are inseparable, crazy, hyperactive, manic cousins. Although I always went to NZ for holz, this girl hardly has time to come see me in Sydney even though she's basically next door...she comes here very rarely cos she's oh-so busy with work, so even 4 days with her is a grand treat for me. I can't wait to see her! And yes we are about to do that 'notorious' again ;-).

But one recent change about Renu is that she's been doing Weight Watchers for 2yrs or so now, and she's pretty obsessed with it. I do feel sorry for her as she doesn't enjoy normal food anymore. She was a little overweight before and since she lost tons of weight through a Jenny Craig diet, she seems to be a little obsessed with that routine. So yeah, now she's gonna look at me and tell 'OMG K you've gotten fatter!' :). But I really think I'm of normal weight for my age and height, and Renu thinks that is 'fat' hehehe. She doesn't like 'fleshy' and thinks it's gross to be voluptious. She's thin alright but I think she's lost a little too much. She's crushed her boobs to 'flat', she's basically ironed out her hips and butt, and her body now looks teenagerish. And she thinks my boobs and ass is grossly fleshy LOL! She likes being very thin...so who am I to complain right? But I hope she gets to enjoy real food again like she used to. I really feel she's missing out on life. Yeah look at me, I do look 'big' compared to her right haha! (please note I'm not making fun of Renu here...I'm just stating how I truly feel about her obsession with weight loss and I don't think it's healthy..to me life is too short to live like that, and I believe in eating well and exercising).

Anyways, since I'm gonna be busy with my dear Renu for few days, I won't be around blogs til about Friday starting tonight...will check comments and publish whenever I can though, but I don't think I'll have time to blog as usual. So I'll see you guys in a few days ok...gonna miss you madly and please know I'll be thinking of you every single day. *HUGZ* take care, be good and see yous soon! Renu lost her dad when she was only 2yrs old...he was a well-known lawyer and he died of Cancer at the age of 36. She also lost her mum 5yrs ago (my fav Aunty V). This song is especially for Renu...I want her to be happy and enjoy life wherever she goes...and know that she's never alone cos I'll be there for her til my last breath.

Current Music: Sara by Fleetwood Mac

'Breaking' News

Remember my cuz who spat the dummy on me few weeks ago on the phone? I wrote about it in the blogpost The Sound Of Silence. Eversince that day we never talked again until yesterday when I had to ring her due to an emergency. Her house was broken into...some of her valuables have been stolen, including her flash plasma TV, brandnew notebook, some jewellery etc etc. I heard the news from my mum and I just had to ring her. I felt so sorry for my cuz and I could only imagine the horror she went through when she came back from work to find out her front door broken and things taken. She was pretty upset on the phone, not because she lost things, but cos of the fear of knowing some stranger had been in her house and the fear of him returning. What do you do in a situation like this? Well, she's contacted the Police, immediatley installed a new alarm system and changed locks etc. But what do you do about the fear? Besides, she's pregnant with her first baby and I do feel really bad for her.

But one good thing happened from this break-in. I got a chance to call her and we immediately got back together as we were before...inseparable cousins that is :). It's amazing how we both didn't say anything about the last time we spoke on the phone. We just continued as if nothing bad happened bewteen us...not that we had to force ourselves to forget that either. It just happened. Some people are so easy to forgive and she's one such dear cuz of mine. And you know, my heart is made of glass...it breaks so very easily. And when I heard my cuz's house was broken into, my heart broke into pieces and even without my knowledge, I was dialling her cell number to find out if she was ok. And I'm glad that nobody was hurt...things can be replaced, but people can't be. When something like this happens, it makes you want to shake yourself into reality...the reason I didn't speak to her all this time was cos she yelled at me that last time we were on the phone and I doubted if it would be such a great idea to call her until I felt better. But if something had happened to her yesterday during that break-in, imagine how much I'd have suffered due to to my stubborness and arrogance. Life has a way of reminding you not to stay angry for too long...not to put off telling people you love and care about them. I'm so glad my cuz is ok! As for my BREAKING heart, I'm glad I have one such heart too...or else I'd be feeling awkward to ring her even yesterday. Yep, so a house gets BROKEN into, it becomes BREAKING news in the family and a distant heart suddenly starts BREAKING too :). You've just got to love someone...that's why!

Have a good one guys! And hey each time your heart breaks, be glad it's breakable, cos that means you truly FEEL.

Current Music: You Gotta Love Someone by Elton John

I Have A Doll

Hi guys my name is Loshi and I'm 3yrs old. I can sing, I can dance, I can laugh non-stop and I'm crazy about BRATZ dolls. I'm posing like a model here just cos Aunty Keshi asked me to...I know she loves me alot *smilez eternally*. Aunty K, take me take me! How do you like my pretty pink shirt?

owww Aunty K give me a break! Now it's that Choc time of the day yeyyyy! Thank you, let me help myself...let me take alot in one go hmmm...

What, you want some chocs too? U notty notty girl! Wait till I finish gobbling it all ok. I can't open my mouth cos I've got the whole plack in there!

This is my beautiful lil 3yr old niece Loshi. She's adorable to the core! She's not only cute but also a very smart lil girl. She listens to her parents, hardly throws tanties, does as she's asked to do, watches Tamil/Hindi movies when bored, when asked why Aishwarya Rai is crying in a movie she says 'cos her boyfriend left her and went to a faraway country' LOL!, has an ear for good music, always greets you with a cuddle and a long and very cute 'hayyllllooooww' when you visit her place, smiles abundantly, is full of questions starting with a 'why' for anything you say (and those 'why's never end!), will try to make tea for you, will go and tell her mum that Aunty K is here and that we should start the party (yes she thinks I'm a Party on legs!), dances to Bratz music and assigns each person a Bratz' doll name. And Loshi doesn't know that Aunty K has a doll too...yes I still have a doll and I love her to death...and her name is Loshi! She decorates my life and makes me forget all the blues...just what a doll does anyways. I miss my doll so much cos she's on holidays in Singapore right now. This one's for you sweetheart MWAHHH!

So, do you have any dolls in your life? Cmon, share your dolls with me!

Current Music: Living Doll by Cliff Richard

Judgement Day

First of all my heartfelt THANKS to each and everyone who answered questions in the last post! You guys totally rock! Your answers were quite eye-opening, therapeutic and so full of wisdom. Amazing bunch you are!

And now this is for some of you who didn't quite understand the reason behind that post. Yesterday when I put up that post, I wasn't judging anyone as much as I didn't expect to be judged. Those questions are common to most of us and it wasn't a post to point fingers at others, neither was it a loud cry of my WANTs in life, neither was it to say that Im depressed and about to commit suicide! I didn't ask why am I single, why can't I have more shoes, why is my dad dead, why am I not rich, why can't I have a Ferrari etc etc, did I? So it definitely wasn't about my WANTs. And I wasn't trying to say that I was perfect either...hell I'm not perfect. Infact I'm the most imperfect blogger as far as I can see...cos most people here seem to have this perfect view of the world, you know 'don't worry be happy' kinda life. To be honest, I don't have that kinda life, neither am I going to pretend that life is so beautiful (well it can be at times but not always), and ask everyone else to dance along too. I hate over-positiveness. I believe it can be as damaging as over-negativeness can be. Being blind to reality and always avoiding it under a 'I'm Happy' umbrella is total cowardice to me. So I'd rather live through my own experiences than some other's. And neither am I gonna expect everyone else to understand my life or to live by my motto. Simply said, to each his own. And I really don't want an ear full of advice on how to be happy either...NO THANKS!

The questions in that post portrayed a common paradigm of life, that didn't exclude me (please note!). I'm very much a part of it too. But some people forgot to see that and started to question my credibility and values...as if I said that I'm perfect and others are all imperfect?? Some even thought that I'm asking for too much in life, when I wasn't even asking for anything to happen - they were mere questions, not requests. Although I can't understand why that post was interpreted that way by some of you here, I'm totally gobsmacked. Just like everyone else, I'm very much a Taker as much as I'm a Giver. That post did not intend to put you in the naughty corner and beat you with the 'perfect' stick. That post did not intend to question your worth against mine. That post did not intend to test your understanding of life against mine. It was merely a learning process for me as much as it may have been for some of you. But yesterday it felt like it was 'my' Judgement Day...I wonder why. Just cos of a simple set of questions, some people felt like they just got busted..maybe they did. But it isn't my fault so I aint gonna cop any of that either. Sort it out with yourselves please.

As I have stated before, I blog to give a voice to my feelings, to learn from you, to grow as a person and to make connections. I don't blog to play God. Neither am I here to be the Judge and the Jury.

And now, for those who answered some questions and for those who didn't see it as a finger-pointing post, I THANK you for your understanding, intergrity and knowledge. You know who you are. I really learnt alot from ALL your answers like I never did before. However, I won't be 'choosing' any winners as I said I would, I'm really sorry! *for reasons I'd like to keep mum about* So I'll keep that for another post, on another day. TC and once again, Thank You for taking part and teaching me so much about life! You guys are like a field of flowers that I never wanna return home from. This song is especially for you (and me)...for us who know that life is about both pleasure and pain. MWAH!

Current Music: Pleasure And Pain By Divinyls

From The Depths Of My Soul...

DISCLAIMER: Please note that I'm not demanding anyone to answer these questions here. It's entirely upto you. Thanks!

Do you sometimes feel like you're watching life as it passes you by, as if you're the only spectator in a game where everyone else is taking part?



Why are some people so obsessed with finding a partner and marriage as if it's the only thing about life...can't we be like the tree that bears fruits but does not crave for love?



Can there be a love so inseparable just like how the mist and the mountains can never be parted?

Like how the taste of food lasts only while it's in your mouth, are certain feelings just momentary or do they all have deep roots and lasting effects?

Like a deer among the wolves, does your heart sometimes beat in total fear?

Like how a snake would carry poison in it's fangs, why do some people carry so much venom in their hearts?

If trees can give us shade without expecting anything in return, why can't we help without craving for glory?

Like a dewdrop at the edge of a leaf, does life hang in sheer uncertainity?

Does a piano melody remind you of a distant unfinished story?

Why do certain people, voices, smells, pictures, songs, places remind you of someone/something you can never explain or relate to in this life?

Just like the moon comes out only at night, after people die would they show up again at some other time?

Just like a spiral staircase, does your world sometimes get twisted and dizzy?

Do some people soothe your heart like the cool grass underneath your feet?

When you see a Waterfall, does it make you wonder what your destination might be?

Like the leaves start to fall in Autumn, do you sometimes fall too?

And Just like Spring quietly gives life to nature, do some friends give you comfort without a single word being whispered?

Does a carefree child's laughter remind you of the sweetest music ever?

Does wrinkly skin and an ailing body of a 95yr old remind you the impermanence of everything?

How do you know if someone truly cares, like the clouds would never leave the skies?

Like when a flower gets plucked from it's tree, do we become 'individuals' as soon as we leave our mothers' wombs?

Why am I harsh to the sweetest people in my life, just like how the rivers flood and wash away it's own banks sometimes?

Can you end up loving and giving light to someone who's the total opposite of who you are, just like how the stars light up the darkest skies?

Those are some questions that popped in my mind. Select any number of questions you like from the above list (be it just 1 or 5 or 9 or if you're really energetic, even all questions), and give me your answers/views on them, through your own understanding and life experiences. Keep it simple and short if possible. I'll pick some outstanding replies and update here later on. But don't think of this as a competition only...just be true to yourself...be natural...be real. That's when the best answers come out anyways. Ok, so good luck and here's another chance for those who said they never win in my blog etc hehe. Thanks in advance and have a blissful week ahead guys!

Today's song is one of my fav Sinhalese songs from the Sinahala movie Saptha Kanya...the actress in this video is one of my mates from school...can you believe that? :) And the actor in this movie is the actual singer of this song too. Besides these 2 were dating each other during this movie...hence we can see their intense connection in this video too :). If you can't view the video in my blog, go here. It's a beautiful song with amazing and haunting music. It's a love ballad with a very deep meaning too. Enjoy!

Current Music: Unmaadha Wu by Kamal Addaraarachchi and Damayanthi Jayasuriya

Old Stories Raw Feelings

UPDATE with winners!

An unwritten story,
an unsung ballad,
an unheard sob,
shuffled papers in a wad.

Someday I strew them all,
watch them fly in the air.
And when they come back
I'l pick up your words pair by pair...
~~Cinderella



a perpetual love, beyond time and border. something that goes on forever because he is the right person, she is the right girl. its magical, but not in every lifetime that both person can be together.
~~Ghosty


Now here's a dedication to these 2 winning comments from me...it's another beautiful Sinhalese song called 'Sande oba' (one of my favs). And it's another way of telling the story behind this post. The meaning is as follows:

Sande oba

Aydha mai yaame
Ahasa kara negune

Hey Moon

Why did you come across the skies now

Hithe dukha hiru nimaa dhamuve

Nethuwadha oba danne

Didnt you know

The Sun cured

All the pain in my heart

Gini hiru paaya

Somi sanda basala

The Sun rising to it's glory

After the Moon went away

Mage lowa eliya kala

It brightened up my world...

Sande oba... ... ...

Oba tharu wata kara

Hina hena yaame

Aa dura yahan gabe

When you dance with stars around you

She's far far away in her bed

Ra nonindhagena

Velapena ma hata

Obagen kimadha pale

So what's the use of you

For a sleepless, aching heart like me

Sande oba... ...

Sanda desa bala bala

Ma pathu pathuman

Methekai kiyanna be

There were countless dreams

That I wished for while staring at you Moon

Hiru ma dhawuwath

Ma ladha unusuma

Amathaka karanna be

Even though the Sun burnt me

I cannot forget the warmth it gave me...

Sande oba
Aydha mai yaame
Ahasa kara negune
Hey Moon
Why did you come across the skies now... ...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I'm putting up a Sinhalese song (if you didn't know, I'm crazy about Sinhalese songs). This one is one of my old favs by the very famous and well-respected singer in Sri Lanka, Milton Mallawarachchi . Most of his songs are my favs. This song basically means (and please bear with my inability to translate the song without killing the meaning..it's very difficult to translate Sinhalese songs into English) :


Awasara netha mata
I don't have the approval
Obe atha gannata

To take your hand

Bami bandha atha lowa sathara dese

There are so many walls been built between us

Enamudu upadhina
But in every new birth
Hema bhavayakadhima
And in every lifetime I get
Mathu oba himi kara ganimi landhe
I'll somehow make you mine girl

Bambareku wannata
Nohakiwa latha wana
Finding it difficult to be the Bee
Ma abhiyasa obe neluma novay
In the vicinity of the Lotus flower that's you

No, that's not us..
Ulpatha wannata
Nohakiwa latha wana
Finding it difficult to be the fountain
Ma abhiyasa oba sayura novay..
In the vicinity of the Ocean that's you

No, that's not us..

Awasara netha mata.. .. ..

Ohu ridhawannata
Ohu handawannata
To hurt him, to make him cry
Bari kama misa obe sihina lowe
Is something we cannot do
Oba kandhawannata
Oba sathapannata
To take you home, to comfort you
Ma hadha thula
Ida nethiwa novay...
Its not that I don't have the space in my heart to do that..

Awasara netha mata... ... ...


Ok, so all I want you to do is, look at this pic, listen to the song, watch the video if you can, read the lyrics, and tell me the story behind this post. Let's test your interpreting (songs, images and lyrics) skills :). And keep in mind that though this song is sung by a guy, it can be applied to a girl's experiences too. Give me your answer (long or short), and then I'll pick the best one and update it here soon. Have a good weekend guys and good luck!


Current Music: Awasara Netha Mata by Milton Mallawarachchi

Current Music Update: Sande Oba by Surendra Perera

Stairway To Heaven

I sometimes wish some people were here right now....my dearest dad who died at just 44yrs of age - wonder what he'd do if he sees me now. Dan my darling friend who committed suicide when he was only 24 - I can still hear his laughter. My maternal grandma who had the biggest heart ever, who died at 83yrs of age - I'm sure she's always giving to others even in Heaven. My 5th grade class teacher Ms.Eva who died at 35yrs of age - her true beauty was something I couldn't get over. Janice my blogger friend who died during childbirth at the age of 25yrs - I wonder if there's a Blogville in Heaven. My last pet dog Judy who died at the age of 6yrs - she used to genuinely 'smile'. My fav aunty V who died at age 60 - I don't know if I'll see such a pretty and talented classical dancer ever again. My childhood friend D who died at the age of 13 - she looked so peaceful in that long white dress. My cousin's baby who died at just 5months pre-birth - I wish I knew him. A total stranger, Banaz Mahmod Babakir Agha who was murdered at the age of 20 by her own father - I wish people paid attention to her fears.

Are you thinking why I'm smiling in this pic? Cos if I show you my tears, there would be a picture of the Nile river here instead. Behind that face there's a sea of teardrops that don't stop falling. If wishes were a bridge, I'd be able to cross it and meet all these people. If wishes were a stairway, I'd be in Heaven right now saying Hi to all these angels. There's an empty chair, unkissed cheeks, an unused plate, a lonely backyard, an undialled phone number, a silent photograph, a piercing memory, an unworn shirt, an unused cradle, long-lost laughter...and my unseen tears. Who do you wish were here today?

Current Music: Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

Room To Lease

We all have a heart each...and that heart can be as big as the ocean or as small as a grain of sand. The size I'm referring to here is not the physical size of the heart but the size of love our hearts can hold. And that size in some people can be immeasurable. In my life, I have come across people with hearts that are bigger than their bodies and some others with hearts that are not so accommodating. And with my own heart's experiences, I have realised that the room in a heart can grow, if you let it grow. You can let your heart grow into having this big wide space, all so roomy enough to let in anyone in need of space. In the same manner, you can stop your heart from being spacious by limiting it's possibilities, therefore blocking it out from accommodating anyone in need. So it's totally upto you if you wanna grow room in your heart, or halt it midway. Some people keep their hearts neat, tidy and airy..some others keep it cluttered with too many conditions, leaving it messy and cramped. I choose to keep my heart vast in space so that people (loved-ones, friends and even strangers) can rest in the many rooms of my heart if they want to. And when they want to leave, they can leave...it doesn't matter cos my heart don't charge anyone for taking it's space, neither does it lock people in. It's a spacious 'home' (not a house) for anyone with a weary soul that needs some rest. So lease some room in my heart if you must, for what is life if we limit love. So does your heart have any room?

And the Flying Kissee of the day is....

A truly beautiful (both in and out) lass all the way from Singapore and she's none other than SweetStickyChewy (aka Amy)! I don't think I need to explain why I chose her for this post cos it's pretty obvious to those who know her already. She's the Queen of Hearts. I have known Amy for about 2yrs and a bit now and it seems like I've known her for many lifetimes, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Who knows, if there's something called past lives, maybe we've known each other since then Amy. The vibe I get when I read this lovely lady's blog is just magical! She speaks from the core of her heart and every post she writes has something to learn from. And every time I read her brilliant thoughts, it seems like my heart is nodding in agreement, as if to say 'Keshi this is what you felt too, didn't ya now'. Only that Amy puts each feeling into words so radiantly. It's a grand skill in itself cos not all of us can write exactly what we feel. With Amy, she also feels what she writes as much as she writes what she feels. Her heart is a place where a soul with no dollars of happiness left, can undoubtedly rest without being hassled for fees...and leave with alot of happy dollars in them again. I look at it like this...if I take the 'Amy' variable out of the equation of 'Keshi's Life', it would not make sense at all. So Amy, you have made my life meaningful in ways only my heart knows - please remember that my life has been enriched by your beautiful and pure heart's magic. Amy has taught me to be a better person in ways that I could never finish writing...for she has let me lease a room of her beautiful and spacious heart when I had nowhere else to go and when I've felt emotionally homeless. And she never expected anything in return either. I LOVE YA AMY! Writing this made me cry (really). I hope you like this song too, cos everytime I listen to it and watch the video I think of us. MWACKKZ! Dija feel it hun? ;-) And hey Amy, some day if I'm not here, I'd like you to read this post to know how your presence in my dreary life lifted me up many a times...as I was dying, you gave me life...you never faltered. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Current Music: Wind Beneath My Wings (from the movie Beaches) by Bette Midler

Lustetrics

That was a steamy post, that last one! Some pretty interesting feedback and alot of hot new tips too. While reading all your comments I was drooling, sweating, begging...ok I better stop before I cause an international orgasm *pictures it*. Some may have wondered why I asked such questions in a public blog...well, to me 'expressing' don't choose. Meaning, if we can talk about Love, why not talk about Lust? Besides, Lust is not something we should be ashamed of...as humans we all feel it and we all want it (unless you're a swami ji in the forests attaining Nirvana). Lust is very much human, as much as Love, Fear, Jealousy, Courage etc etc are. Anyways THANKS all for taking part! While everyone answered VERY well, unfortunately there can only be few winners. Keep in mind that most of you had similar answers but I have chosen the well-worded ones (along with honesty, sense of humor and uniqueness as other judging factors). So all of you are winners by default :). So here they are as follows, starting with my comments on all your answers, then my answer in green, and finally the winning comments for each question. So here we go!





1.Woman on top?

Penetrating all the answers to this one, it was pretty evident that most Men loved having the Woman on top, and that most Women loved having the Man on top. hmmm, so this would pretty much lead to rolling on the bed trying to get each other on top?:) But some folks loved the control they get being on top...to ride in style that is. I think both Men and Women equally like 'controlling' and being 'controlled' in the bedroom. Yeehawww! As for me, I prefer Man on top, cos I love the feel of the male body's weight on me (as long as it's not a Sumo wrestler that I'm married to) - yeah I like being dominated (and dominating at other times), it's kinky to the core! And now the winning answers are:





If u want it your way, burn calories and taste the ecstasy of pleasure at the same time. Than i say woman on top is da way. Do it your way, your speed and your cheeky tease to make him grin. Straddling seems nice! And thats on top for sure. Hah! -- by Amy THE Sex Goddess

totally...in control. -- by Veenz THE Red 'Riding' Hood

Later, she beamed an appreciative smile after dominating the proceedings during our first full on love encounter and riding me home like a demented jockey on her first derby winner. -- by Vesty THE Orgasmic Makybe Diva

2. Who do you long to be stuck in a lift with?

Anal-ysing all the answers for this one, I realised that alot of us want to be stuck in a lift with our dream celebrity, meaning we pretty much wanna have a steamy claustrophobic few moments with a star? *hmm...a pretty weird bunch we are ha*. I think both Men and Women are secretly wishing for elevator-sex, which makes me wanna break all the elevators in the world right now. I'm sure that would increase productivity, what say guys. And Katrina Kaif was the most popular Lift-Temptress amond guys, and among us girls there were too many men we wanted to be stuck with *rolling eyes*, so there's no winning Lift-Hunk - basically any hot hunk will do. As for me, I'd love to be stuck in an elevator with my boss...cos that way I don't have to go back to work and my boss wouldn't be able to try and get me out soon either. On a steamy note, if I'm stuck with my dream guy John Abraham, I'd make sure the elevator stays broken for the rest of our lives. And now the winning answers are:





Eric Bana...wild and crazy...oh yeah !! -- by Cinderella THE Lift 'Shaker'

Anyone but my dad or close family. --by Preeti THE Runaway Bride



Gwynneth Paltrow; if not then a lift repairman. -- by Fingers THE Boob Operator

3. If you could beg for just anything right now, what would it be?

Exploring the deepest corners of all your answers to this one, it dawned on me that many of us have unfulfilled wishes buried deep inside of us that spoke volumes about what we really wanted in life. Each of you spoke of what you value the most in life at this point in time and that was interesting to ponder upon. Some wanted financial security, some wanted a career, cars, and some others wanted blow jobs and hot bathtub sex *slips slops & slurps*. As for me, I'd love a wicked, loooong, life-giving kiss that involves alot of 'tongue'...it's been such a long time since my last kiss now it seems like my lips are prehistoric dinosaurs. Talk about Famine and hunger, my lips is the Ethiopia in Sex-World. And now the winning answers are:

A confirmation...more important than Gere but concerns a man. -- by d Sinner THE Sinful Beauty

An orgasm every time I blink. -- by Steph THE Pleasure Machine

Right now.. a fuck, a blowjob, a hand job ..anything will be enuff for me..Im feeling too excited. -- by Sourish THE 'Job' Seeker

4. Man on top of woman on top of man?

Tasting the answers to this qn, I realised that alot of us are able to separate Threesomes from a traditional sexual relationship between 2 people, and we are able to see it as nothing but a purely Lust-induced act. And that was good to know. Some people puked at it with an 'eww', some adored it, some didn't like sharing, some dreamt of it, some wondered how to manage more than one partner in bed, some kept it in mind for later use...yeah, to each his own. As for me, I think threesomes (or even tensomes) are purely a Lust act...it should not be confused with love and committment. If anyone engages in a threesome, it's to get carnal pleasure only and I don't see anything wrong with that. And hell yeah it's erotic to the core and I have often wondered about it hehe. But if/when I'm in a serious relationship, threesomes won't be welcome in it - maybe cos I'm the possessive kind. But it's upto the couple if they want to do it and if they think it'd improve their sex life, without ruining their relationship. And the winning answers are:





Sometimes, people attach emotions to sex (and their sexual partner), and a threesome should not include such people or those who are involved with them. Otherwise, no problem with threesome as a purely pleasurable activity. --by Alok THE King Of Lusty Wisdom

A good and interesting experiment...will save that one for later in life when we need to re-ignite our spark. -- by Carolinagal THE Kinky Babesterness

Threesomes look great in porn, so if its like a one night shagging threesome, fine. But if you got my gal in there, man ..did I told you i will crack the other guyz balls. possessive partners. -- by Anuj THE Killer Monogamist

Maybe I would like to experiment at some point of time in my life .. with another girl and a guy though. As of now .. its a no-no! but the point is .. the idea doesn't really disgust me. -- by Cheesy THE Sensual Siren

5. What do you value more in a partner, good sex or good conversation, and why?

Sucking the sap of all your answers to this one, I realised that most of us hide our pleasures behind a 'moral' wall. Sometimes we are afraid to stray, thinking it's a bad thing to want what we want. At the same time, sometimes we forget to see that a pleasurable physical want can only last few minutes whereas a psychological fulfilment can be rewarding for longer than that. As for me, sex is a conversation by itself. If my partner and I can have great sex and feel like it's the best convo we've ever had without a single word being uttered, then we are at a very good place. I believe that if 2 people make magical love, they are already in tune with each others' body and mind, therefore good convo should be a cake-walk. Also, I can have a good convo with almost anyone but I cant have sex with just anyone , can I? I don't wanna be stuck in life with someone who's terrible in bed, cos remember he's the only one I can have sex with, and sex is an integral part in a relationship. I had some very clever answers for this one, so it was hard to choose just one answer and many of you had very similar answers too. So I'll choose 3 winners from each category (that is, 3 supporting good sex and 3 supporting good conversation). So the 6 winning answers to this qn are:





Good sex for sure. I can always go have great conversation with my many friends. But if I go looking for sex instead I'll be labeled promiscuous won't I? -- by Macadamia THE Luscious Passion Fruit

Listen folks carefully. talking shalking is good. its OK.but i am not going to ruin myself over "talking". i understand its important but Good Sex is integral. be honest guys. imagine your partner talking sense all the time. speaks your mind. very thoughtful. you strike a chord each time you talk. -- by Drozzy THE Silent Spine Tingler

For some it also seeds a spiritual bonding. This is one thing where action can truly speak louder than words. -- by Samy THE Bonding Guru

Good sex may lead to good conversation but good conversation has a higher chance of leading to good sex. So good conversation. -- by Solitaire THE Aamir Seductress

You can always talk somebody from being bad at sex to being good. -- by George THE Smooth Talker

I guess I wud pick conversation as research had proved that good sex last for 7 mins while good coversation can last for ur whole life. -- by Nirmal THE Saint Carnal

So this means, we all have different wants and value different things when it comes to lust. So, these winning comments don't mean that that's the right thing for you - you do what you like. Everyone has their own preferences and lifestyles, that suit themselves. Anyways, Congrattz all winners and THANKS each and everyone of ya! You are all winners cos all of you seem to know exactly what you want, long and moan for. ahhh touch me, touch me I wanna feel your body! *gives you a cheeky smile* ;-).

Current Music: Principles Of Lust (Sadeness) by Enigma