Warning: BEWARE! This post may cause severe drowsiness, brutal itchiness, shocking ants-in-my-pants kinda tantrums and sudden memory loss that's finally followed by Cardiac arrest to Men who are obsessed with Breasts!
Men are often 'troubled' (in a sedated way) and get easily 'distracted' (in a hopeless way) by a pair of fleshy milk bottles called Breasts *rolling eyes*. Men are designed to be attracted to boobs, only God knows why so don't ask them questions - apparently it's genetic design *God must have been high on Whisky when he designed Men*. I'm a DD (femininity-jumping-out-of-her-top kinda woman - not overly but enough to get most men dizzy) hence I get alot of 'attention' from males when Im out and about. Some men are decent enough to just 'scan' through the corner of their eyes without really being obvious *unfortunately for them I still can spot them boob-spotting*. It's not so bad though cos these men know how to look and how not to look. Some men basically talk to the boobs. It's as if they have already 'Vodafoned' my boobs - as if they are some sort of communication network! And there are massive Boobiologists who just can't help ogling as if they have just been cross-eyed to death by a strong 'sighting' *I can see their eyes immediately starting to rotate like a ceiling fan*. Their heads suddenly take a sharp left/right turn (depending on where the 'chesty' woman is) to fully 'indulge' in what they just witnessed. It's as if they just saw something outta this world...more like they have just been knocked out by a Boobionic shock wave *slaps them hard!*. I do feel sorry for these blokes cos some of them are actually driving a vehicle while they do this *danger danger!*. Keeping a'breast' of road rules while Driving is very important my dear men. Boobs are beautiful yes...admire them...compliment them if you must...go home and grab your woman's boobs, rent her cleavage if you must, camp in there a whole year I don't care...but please don't stare at them so much that the next vehicle you drive ends up being a coffin, or your next stop ends up being the local mortuary. Don't let boobs become your booby trap ok! Boob-spot safely and sensibly :). Cos we do care about you Men - after all who can give us babies other than you *wonders if men remain babies all their lives dreaming about clinging onto momma's boobs*.....*'aww's in mock mode*. Anyways, Boobs R Us and united we stand, errr stick? sit? ok, hang! This post shall be the Holy Boob Treatment that cures all men on Earth! May Saint BooBob protect ya from all fatal distractions. May God breastss you! Men and women, please share with me your booby stories/jokes/incidents. Thanks! btw, watch this video version of 'you sexy thing' if you can...it's too funny. Some men are like the mouse in this video craving for it's 'cheese' when they see Breasts LOL!
Current Music: You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate (dancing mouse version)