Dancer For Money

I saw this true story on Oprah about a woman who shot her partner to death after realising that he was having a sexual relationship with her 15yr old daugher (her only child from her first marriage) behind her back. Both the woman and the man were in their late thirties when this happened. The woman was convicted of murder, jailed for few years, but was later released. Basically he betrayed the trust they had in each other. Worse, the person he chose to do it with was her own teen daughter. It must have been traumatising for this woman to come to terms with the whole scenario. Trust is a very sacred element of any relationship. Once it's broken, it cannot be glued without showing the ugly cracks that will haunt you for life.

And now to another similar story. Last night when I went home after work, my mum updated me about a dear friend of our's...she and her husband are constantly bickering at each other, fighting etc. They have 2 young kids. Besides, it's been happening over their entire marriage, that's 10yrs. They recently built a beautiful mansion ($2.5 million worth) and moved in...but the constant fighting and calling the Police hasn't stopped. It's actually a shame...I don't know who's fault it really is, but all I can say is it takes two hands to clap...and there wont be smoke without a fire. They are both my good mates so I don't wanna take sides either. But what I can't understand is why my friend S (the woman) is putting herself through this? She has every right and freedom to end the marriage, so does he. But neither of them wants to do it. I don't get it. She told me it's also for financial reasons (he owns the house, cars etc)...and another day she told me that it's cos of her kids that she wont leave, cos she wants the kids to grow up in a house with both the parents and all the entitlements (the riches and the comforts). She's a Uni educated woman herself, working part-time and earning her own money.

But does she honestly think that her kids are growing up in a safe and sane enviornment? I don't think so! Watching mum and dad prowl on each other every other day is certainly not how a 3yr old and a 7yr old should grow up. Who am I to say it..you may ask. Well, I may not be married, I may not have my own kids yet but I do have something call 'intelligent' judgement. I do have something called 'sensible' decision-making skills. I do have something call 'dignity'. To me, my dignity/self-respect is far more important than living under the same roof with a daily war of clashing egoes that's lasted years. To me, my kids' mental stability would be far more important than having a violent and arrogant father next to them which is actually worse than having no father. I will never trade my dignity for a fancy house, a flash car, a broken home with sad kids just for the sake of having a family. Nothing can buy my grace - if it happens, it would be over my dead body. Fuck the money, houses and social stigma followed by a separation. I'm not a dancer for money...I'm not a dancer for others...I don't dance to your tune. I'm a dancer of my soul, for myself, for my music. I'd even go dwell in a hut and survive on social security if I had to, just to bring up my children in a real environment, to preserve my dignity, to LIVE. Let them eat bread, let them wear rags if they had to, let them have no pool parties, let them lose their riches...but please don't let my kids lose their Dignity! What my friend does to her kids is unforgiveable. One day those kids are gonna grow up into disturbed adults who's got no idea what self-respect is. They are gonna crawl and hide behind a protective shield each time they are faced with a challenge...they are gonna be bought easily...cos their own parents damaged their dignity long time ago.

How much does your dignity/self-respect mean to you? Tell me, how much $$ is your dignity worth? Would you even kill for it? My dignity is priceless, and it's not for sale. And yes I would even kill (even myself) for my dignity, if I had to. And I'm not afraid to die or go to jail knowing I didn't sell myself.

Current Music: Private Dancer by Tina Turner

Boobs 'R' Us!

Warning: BEWARE! This post may cause severe drowsiness, brutal itchiness, shocking ants-in-my-pants kinda tantrums and sudden memory loss that's finally followed by Cardiac arrest to Men who are obsessed with Breasts!

Men are often 'troubled' (in a sedated way) and get easily 'distracted' (in a hopeless way) by a pair of fleshy milk bottles called Breasts *rolling eyes*. Men are designed to be attracted to boobs, only God knows why so don't ask them questions - apparently it's genetic design *God must have been high on Whisky when he designed Men*. I'm a DD (femininity-jumping-out-of-her-top kinda woman - not overly but enough to get most men dizzy) hence I get alot of 'attention' from males when Im out and about. Some men are decent enough to just 'scan' through the corner of their eyes without really being obvious *unfortunately for them I still can spot them boob-spotting*. It's not so bad though cos these men know how to look and how not to look. Some men basically talk to the boobs. It's as if they have already 'Vodafoned' my boobs - as if they are some sort of communication network! And there are massive Boobiologists who just can't help ogling as if they have just been cross-eyed to death by a strong 'sighting' *I can see their eyes immediately starting to rotate like a ceiling fan*. Their heads suddenly take a sharp left/right turn (depending on where the 'chesty' woman is) to fully 'indulge' in what they just witnessed. It's as if they just saw something outta this world...more like they have just been knocked out by a Boobionic shock wave *slaps them hard!*. I do feel sorry for these blokes cos some of them are actually driving a vehicle while they do this *danger danger!*. Keeping a'breast' of road rules while Driving is very important my dear men. Boobs are beautiful yes...admire them...compliment them if you must...go home and grab your woman's boobs, rent her cleavage if you must, camp in there a whole year I don't care...but please don't stare at them so much that the next vehicle you drive ends up being a coffin, or your next stop ends up being the local mortuary. Don't let boobs become your booby trap ok! Boob-spot safely and sensibly :). Cos we do care about you Men - after all who can give us babies other than you *wonders if men remain babies all their lives dreaming about clinging onto momma's boobs*.....*'aww's in mock mode*. Anyways, Boobs R Us and united we stand, errr stick? sit? ok, hang! This post shall be the Holy Boob Treatment that cures all men on Earth! May Saint BooBob protect ya from all fatal distractions. May God breastss you! Men and women, please share with me your booby stories/jokes/incidents. Thanks! btw, watch this video version of 'you sexy thing' if you can...it's too funny. Some men are like the mouse in this video craving for it's 'cheese' when they see Breasts LOL!

Current Music: You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate (dancing mouse version)

I'm Keeping My Baby!

Man I wanna wet my hair and look 'this' if/when I spot my next hunk! (does this mean keeping a bucket of water ready in my car?)

I feel so natural, just like Cleopatra outta her milky bath!

Just ironed my hair to make it lool like it got a new cut..aha there are 'ways' hunny!


Thanks all for your expert advice on a new haircut in my last post, I really appreciate all your great suggestions! The top 2 pics were taken today after washing my hair and I thought to myself...I can't cut my long hair...no I cant get rid of my natural wavyness...and I don't wanna shorten the layers, not yet....don't wanna color my natural black hair either...don't want this, don't want that! So yeah Keshi, leave it you hairy biyatch! I'm keeping my baby. Atleast until it grows beyond my control. Give us your blessings right now wont ya, cos we are in love, yes me and my hair that is! ;-).


Current Music: Papa Don't Preach by Madonna

Days Of Our LIES

DISCLAIMER: Main topic is in the 2nd half of the post.

Fringe Benefits
Many of you have seen this photo before *yawns*. This pic was taken straight after my first 'bangy' haircut last year (I used to have normal boring hair with no sexy bangs on my forehead). Looks fresh and bouncy ha? I love haircuts...cos it makes me feel like a whole new person...atleast for few days. This long weekend I'm gonna get a haircut...give me some hairy tips wont ya now? I'm bored with the same style...so pour in some hot new hairstyle ideas girls and boys. *waits impatiently*. btw my hair has grown very long at the back and it looks a bit mismanaged..almost like a Swami ji getting ready for the forest *om sounds follow*. So yeah, without making it too short, I wanna get a new look...I wanna feel 'new' for goddsakes! *wish I could sneak back into mum's womb and be reborn again*

Talking about bangs (fringe), they come with alot of benefits. I don't have a big forehead but for people with big foreheads, the bangs beautifully and cleverly hide it. Also, bangs add a sexy, youngish and cool look to the face, if you think you're getting older *winks*. Another benefit of bangs is you can hide your perving eyes underneath them oyess! I do that all the time. When I spot a hunky specimen sent by God when he's high on beer, I call my bangs to the rescue before I start passing quick hidden glances at his cute butt, juicy lips, manly arms and chest *FYI more undisclosed body parts include in this list*. Man he'd have no idea! Also, bangs make you relaxed about styling your hair when you walk out the door...your hair doesn't have to be neatly combed and tied, the bangs give you a messy yet posh look by default. So you can just get outta bed and get in the car just like that LOL! So yeah, bang it babeh. btw the current length of my hair is quite like this swami ji's (see pic). So yeah, don't forget to rescue me from attaining Nirvana - gimme some hairy tips now.


Liar Liar Tongue On Fire!
Now to the main topic of this post...apparently we humanbeings tell about 5 fibs (could be more) every single day, even without realising it. Yes, I read it in a research article about Lies and that theory somehow sounded very familiar hehehe. It don't mean big cheating horrible lies, but little white lies ya know. Such as, when somebody asks you 'How r u?' you may say 'I'm fine, thanks' when you're really not ok. Another one would be when your partner asks 'Do you think I'm good in bed', you may say 'yes hunny ur great!' when actually he/she's revolting in bed...you just don't wanna hurt his/her feelings, as simple as that. Also, when a friend asks you 'do I look fat in this?', you might say 'nooo u look so slim and sexy' when in real she may not. So yeah, get the drift? We all know this is true, that we tell fibs just to get by. If you don't tell fibs, then you would have to have attained Nirvana by now (what are you doing in blogs btw?) *mocks worshipping gestures*. So admit it mate, and think of how many fibs you tell per day in general. I'm quite a fibber in that sense..cos I hide alot of true feelings and just nod my head or keep quiet, just to keep the peace. Even silence can be a method of lying just cos you don't wanna say the truth. It can even be a survival mechanism. And sometimes I just can't be bothered telling the truth. You know, I don't like sympathy and I don't wanna be asked too many questions either. So yeah, we all lie for similar yet different specific reasons. The most shocking lie I've ever told someone is to myself and about everything being ok. I know that though everything is ok, yet everything isn't ok (referring to my life here, not your's, so shhhhh...I don't need a lecture now). But I cling to 'everything is ok' even though it's just a great illusion...sometimes it's good to live by an illusion just to breathe...and life is an illusion anyways - a fantastic one though :). So yeah, that's the biggest fib of my life...ironical ha!

So now I wanna ask you all a question:

**What's the most shocking fib you've ever told someone just to keep the peace?

Go for it my fellow fibbers! Dying, lying, prying, flying and crying to know.

*HUGZ* and Happy ANZAC Day to all my Aussie mates here! Have a good one this long weekend and hey duncha get in any frisky trouble now - fib all you can though, pretend all you know, cos what else do we really do well ha :-). And another fringe benefit...I can hide myself behind it. Play it safe, see yaz!


Current Music: Everybody's Fool by Evanescence

The sHit List

Ok as much as there's massive mind-rotting shit offline, there's such shit online too. So here's a list of what I see as Online Shit. Now this is MY list, not your's. So chillax *rolling eyes*. You may not consider some of these as shit...you may actually like them and I can't help that ok LOL! Anyways here I go with my Online sHit List:


*Orkut, Fuckbook, Assbook etc - I know some people use these social networking sites to keep in touch with their loved-ones, to share pics etc and that's ok. But I don't quite gel well with these sites...one glance of it put me off big time...maybe cos I get easily bored in a place where there's nothing new to learn. It's a Time-wasting haven I say!

*Anonymous assholes - Internet is a Jerks' paradise I tell ya. It gives any whackjob all the freedom in the world to train their Dickheadism to the max, without getting whacked where it hurts the most. As much as I have been subjected to such embryonically-deprived assholes, it has made me totally immune to such crap, which is great btw. Anonymous immunisation I tell ya!

*Blockbuster opened mouth idiots - Some people find the net a refuge to flaunt their stupidity so they display it oh so generously. Cos it's a cheaper, easier and safer avenue to open their unskilled mouths without thinking and without getting bashed up black and blue ofcourse. Untreated Gingivitis I say!

*Dick addicts - Net is a place for Ted Bundy kinda sex maniacs to roam free and target innocent victims, even children. I wonder what these blue-in-the-face nymphos do as they chat to innocents at their expense. Shit load of masturbating IDs I say!

*Annoying Penis-enlargement spam - Now do you think I need a Penis enlargment? Well it seems some people think I need it! *rolling eyes* Maybe in my next life, and if I'm a male aaaand if I'm insecure, I'd consider reading such revolting spam ok. Erectile AND Brain dysfunction at it's best I guess!

*Music download sites that piss you off to eternity - some Music download sites ask you for your email, phone number, granma's name, uncle's height etc etc for a FREE download and the questions never seem to end! Wonder what their last question would be - if I'm a virgin or how long my legs are? I get so angry I close the browser most of the time in total frustration. Download a gun I must!

*Gunk mail - such as 'Discounted meds' kinda fucked up shit. Tell me who really sends this kind of dumb marketing messages in this day and age? Does anybody even read it past the subject line? Chances are if someone wants discounted shit, they'd be in the Reject shop - not on the net. Glorious discounted truck load of gunk I tell ya!

*Chat rooms - well there used to be a time when I chatted online...say for about 3 months. And then I was so over it, very quickly too. I can't stand it anymore. It's boring to the core and seem to eat my cranium just thinking about it. Stinking chat 'slaughter' rooms rather!


Well I think these are what annoys me the most about the Internet. And yes I get murderous just thinking about them, hence the Hit list. Tell me what you consider as Online shit. Go for it my wisest lot on the Internet, yes that's you guys. MWAH!

This song is especially for Samby...cos he loves the older and sexier Kim ;-). Samby please stay, WE LOVE YA!


Current Music: You Keep Me Hangin' On by Kim Wilde

Suga-Dad Meh!

Richard Gere, come here!

Gordon Ramsay, heyy wutsay?

Barack Obama, come to momma!

Richard Branson, cheeks so crimson!









I have a major crush on all of the above older men. Surprised? I think it's not only their looks, but also their intelligence and maturity that turns me on. I'm a huge fan of Gere's glasses and skills...I wish I could put em on for him *ahem*. I'm a hopeless slave for Ramsay's constant swearing and professionalism...yes it turns me on *fuck yeah!*. I'm a hungry lil kitten for Obama's genes and intelligence...he can ring my bell anytime! *imagines eating choc-chip ice-cream*. I'm in love with Branson...just cos he's the guru behind 'Virgin' and also cos he's smart as hell *licks her lips*. I don't know what it is, but I have a thing for older men..urrrrrrggg not bed-ridden and bed-wetting oldies ok. And it isnt about the money either. I'm just attracted to good-looking, educated, brainy, sensitive, mature, well-established older men like these 4 men. I find older men easier to have a conversation with, sensible, strong, understanding, sexy, protective, loving and more caring than younger men who are mostly only interested in sex. These men turn me on than Brad Pitt does me, I swear! What say girls? Why are some older men much more attractive than younger men and who are your older-men crushes? Guys here, you can share your older-women crushes too...if you have any that is. All my little brothers in Blogville can now declare thier love for me here *bats her eyelashes and waits eagerly*. ;-)

Current Music: Turn Me On by Norah Jones

Walking On Fire

Have you ever felt like you were walking on fire? Still smiling as your feet burnt to ashes...still keeping your head straight and looking ahead to the future, when your feet were blistering in the heat and aching to put out the fire. Did you feel like you were sleeping on a bed of thorns that you could never wake up from? And still have you kept on marching ahead without your conscience faltering, longing to beat the pain some day? Have you continued your journey no matter how much the scorching flames tried to get you down? Have you felt that glimmering bit of hope dancing in front of your eyes while you thought you were dying? Did you see that faraway refuge as you kept walking among the crackling flames? And did that hope of a mirage-like shelter keep you walking no matter what? Did a voice inside you tell you that this fire will find it's water somehow, when all your pain will cease to exist? And did that voice keep you going even when your feet were burning in that raging fire's glory? Then you reached a certain point when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, did you finally feel a cool drop of water falling on your chest? And did that drop of water run down to your feet and slowly put out the fire? Did you then feel that you finally reached that glimmer of hope you felt long time ago? Did your burning soul then bathe in fresh cool water to feel it's destination? Did you then for a while sleep on a bed of roses...

And the Flying Kissee of the day is....

Someone who fits this post perfectly and it's none other than my dearest mate Ghosty! Ghosty and I have been good friends for a while now and it already seems like I've known him for life. The posts that he writes come from the bottom of his soul...no one can write like Ghosty writes! If you already know him, you know what I'm talking about. He has a style of writing that can never be replicated...that can never be stolen...that can never be forgotten. There's a reason for that. And that reason is cos he's been through hell...he's seen it all...he's felt like no one else has...he has walked on fire many times...cos he 'sees' the world more than many of us do. He deserves much more respect, love and introduction than what this post could possibly convey. But I wanna tell Ghosty how much I love him as a person and how much respect I have for him. There were many times that I felt Ghosty is writing exactly what I experienced...only that he does it better than how I could possibly convey. He's the master, he's the soul. The soul of pure humanness. Ghosty I want you to know that I've slept on beds of thorns and walked on fire like everyone else have...just know that we also get to feel the water sometimes. So have faith and hope, cos we all walk together somehow. MWACCKKZZZ Ghosty! Dija feel it? :) This song is especially for you...it's one of my favs from Bon Jovi. Enjoy, it's your day! Your friendship and love for me in Blogville has touched me deeply and please know that I will always be there for you like you were, are and undoubtedly will be, there for me...

Current Music: Bed Of Roses by Bon Jovi

The Cure

It's raining right now. It's freezing cold too. I'm sipping hot coffee, sitting on my bed listening to this current song, thinking...of someone. His fingers, his hands...his spine-tingling touch. That's enough to get me excited. His face, his eyes...his soul-piercing look. That's enough for me to forget about being good. His lips, his tongue...his heart-caressing voice. That's enough for me to be his slave. His breath, his nibbles...temperature-rising smell of his skin. That's enough for me to forget about everything else. His taste, feel, whispers, caresses all wrapped in one expression called LOVE...a love that was based on LUST. Or was it a LUST that was based on LOVE. I don't know. Either way, it's a cure. Sometimes it's just liberating to feel and act upon true feelings than put things off and go looking for something that might not be there. In short, the cure is in your own hands. And it doesn't matter that it didn't last forever...nothing does.

Current Music: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You by Heart

I Hate Goodbyes!

I'm back guys. My cuz will be leaving tomorrow morning *sobs uncontrollably*. She's visiting some of her Sydney friends today so I'm at work now. I dread thinking about her leaving tomorrow...cos I know she won't be visiting me for another few years (God knows what'll happen in between). We had tons of fun in the last 3 days (including a hunk-watch that went terribly wrong. Cos it ended in some 100yr old guy nearly asking us out LOL!). I will update with more pics and details later on (this pic was taken 2 days ago just before we hit the mall for some serious shopping...and the bottom pic was taken before we hit the City on Tuesday night). From tomorrow I will miss her so very much. It's ok..atleast we got a chance to hang out with each other for few days. I'm counting my blessings right now guys!

Ofcourse I missed you all too...that's why I'm here already with so much work to do too :). My cuz bought me 2 beautiful tops as pressies (even though I don't want anything else but her company). So now I want to give her something beautiful to take back with her (we always do this everytime we meet). She has tons of clothes and did buy heaps from Sydney too. So I don't really know what to get her this time..I've run out of ideas cos I have basically given her everything including perfume, shoes, clothes, earrings, Winter gear etc etc. So guys, gimme some unique gift ideas if you can - before tonight that is! And keep it simple cos I don't have enough time to get creative before she leaves tomorrow morning...so tell me something I could buy from the shops...something sweet, something memorable and something that stands for an undying sisterly bond. Thanks guys MWAH!

oww how I hate Goodbyes :*( I wanna seal these moments in a bottle so that I can open it whenever I want and bask in that same happiness again. I'll be missin ya mah dahlin-suga-cupcake-soul sista! *stares at the wall, shedding silent tears*

Current Music: Every Breath You Take by The Police

Renu And Me

Guess what guys? My fav cuz Renu arrived from NZ today for a brief holiday (only for 4 days though *SOB*)! We are of the same age, same madness levels, same kinda fashion slaves, same kinda drama queens, same everything! She and I basically grew up together and whenever I go to NZ on holz, I stay at her place..only cos she wouldn't allow me to stay anywhere else *rolling eyes*. We are that close. My sis picked her up from the airport this morning, she's at our place right now and I'll be going home after work to give her a big HUG and talk talk talk talk talk until we fall asleep...yes she and I are blockbuster chatterboxes and we crack jokes and laugh til we run outta breath. As little kids, together we used to go knock on doors and hide,...and yes we got caught one day *broken record kinda music follows*. We were about 6yrs old then. Just as we were gonna knock on this old guy's door and run away like we usually did, a very angry face opened the door yelling at us even before we could place our knuckles on his door LOL! We ran away before that giant angry shark-lookalike could swallow us! That day we got busted from my dad big time. My dad heard about it from that guy and he was looking for us...and I was crying non-stop behind the car (hiding from my dad) while Renu was shushing me and calling me an idiot for crying. We didn't go home for a while that day. Somehow our dad found us behind the car and that was the day we stopped our little knocking-on-doors game. But ofcourse we started another notorious game straight after that LOL! And that was dialling wrong numbers and annoying people on the other end *what else can 2 naughty kids do when asked to stay indoors right?*. Yes, both she and I love to have fun and we continued that even after we grew up...and now we hunk-watch together like crazy and laugh non-stop LOL! Yes, she and I are inseparable, crazy, hyperactive, manic cousins. Although I always went to NZ for holz, this girl hardly has time to come see me in Sydney even though she's basically next door...she comes here very rarely cos she's oh-so busy with work, so even 4 days with her is a grand treat for me. I can't wait to see her! And yes we are about to do that 'notorious' again ;-).

But one recent change about Renu is that she's been doing Weight Watchers for 2yrs or so now, and she's pretty obsessed with it. I do feel sorry for her as she doesn't enjoy normal food anymore. She was a little overweight before and since she lost tons of weight through a Jenny Craig diet, she seems to be a little obsessed with that routine. So yeah, now she's gonna look at me and tell 'OMG K you've gotten fatter!' :). But I really think I'm of normal weight for my age and height, and Renu thinks that is 'fat' hehehe. She doesn't like 'fleshy' and thinks it's gross to be voluptious. She's thin alright but I think she's lost a little too much. She's crushed her boobs to 'flat', she's basically ironed out her hips and butt, and her body now looks teenagerish. And she thinks my boobs and ass is grossly fleshy LOL! She likes being very thin...so who am I to complain right? But I hope she gets to enjoy real food again like she used to. I really feel she's missing out on life. Yeah look at me, I do look 'big' compared to her right haha! (please note I'm not making fun of Renu here...I'm just stating how I truly feel about her obsession with weight loss and I don't think it's healthy..to me life is too short to live like that, and I believe in eating well and exercising).

Anyways, since I'm gonna be busy with my dear Renu for few days, I won't be around blogs til about Friday starting tonight...will check comments and publish whenever I can though, but I don't think I'll have time to blog as usual. So I'll see you guys in a few days ok...gonna miss you madly and please know I'll be thinking of you every single day. *HUGZ* take care, be good and see yous soon! Renu lost her dad when she was only 2yrs old...he was a well-known lawyer and he died of Cancer at the age of 36. She also lost her mum 5yrs ago (my fav Aunty V). This song is especially for Renu...I want her to be happy and enjoy life wherever she goes...and know that she's never alone cos I'll be there for her til my last breath.

Current Music: Sara by Fleetwood Mac

'Breaking' News

Remember my cuz who spat the dummy on me few weeks ago on the phone? I wrote about it in the blogpost The Sound Of Silence. Eversince that day we never talked again until yesterday when I had to ring her due to an emergency. Her house was broken into...some of her valuables have been stolen, including her flash plasma TV, brandnew notebook, some jewellery etc etc. I heard the news from my mum and I just had to ring her. I felt so sorry for my cuz and I could only imagine the horror she went through when she came back from work to find out her front door broken and things taken. She was pretty upset on the phone, not because she lost things, but cos of the fear of knowing some stranger had been in her house and the fear of him returning. What do you do in a situation like this? Well, she's contacted the Police, immediatley installed a new alarm system and changed locks etc. But what do you do about the fear? Besides, she's pregnant with her first baby and I do feel really bad for her.

But one good thing happened from this break-in. I got a chance to call her and we immediately got back together as we were before...inseparable cousins that is :). It's amazing how we both didn't say anything about the last time we spoke on the phone. We just continued as if nothing bad happened bewteen us...not that we had to force ourselves to forget that either. It just happened. Some people are so easy to forgive and she's one such dear cuz of mine. And you know, my heart is made of glass...it breaks so very easily. And when I heard my cuz's house was broken into, my heart broke into pieces and even without my knowledge, I was dialling her cell number to find out if she was ok. And I'm glad that nobody was hurt...things can be replaced, but people can't be. When something like this happens, it makes you want to shake yourself into reality...the reason I didn't speak to her all this time was cos she yelled at me that last time we were on the phone and I doubted if it would be such a great idea to call her until I felt better. But if something had happened to her yesterday during that break-in, imagine how much I'd have suffered due to to my stubborness and arrogance. Life has a way of reminding you not to stay angry for too long...not to put off telling people you love and care about them. I'm so glad my cuz is ok! As for my BREAKING heart, I'm glad I have one such heart too...or else I'd be feeling awkward to ring her even yesterday. Yep, so a house gets BROKEN into, it becomes BREAKING news in the family and a distant heart suddenly starts BREAKING too :). You've just got to love someone...that's why!

Have a good one guys! And hey each time your heart breaks, be glad it's breakable, cos that means you truly FEEL.

Current Music: You Gotta Love Someone by Elton John

I Have A Doll

Hi guys my name is Loshi and I'm 3yrs old. I can sing, I can dance, I can laugh non-stop and I'm crazy about BRATZ dolls. I'm posing like a model here just cos Aunty Keshi asked me to...I know she loves me alot *smilez eternally*. Aunty K, take me take me! How do you like my pretty pink shirt?

owww Aunty K give me a break! Now it's that Choc time of the day yeyyyy! Thank you, let me help myself...let me take alot in one go hmmm...

What, you want some chocs too? U notty notty girl! Wait till I finish gobbling it all ok. I can't open my mouth cos I've got the whole plack in there!

This is my beautiful lil 3yr old niece Loshi. She's adorable to the core! She's not only cute but also a very smart lil girl. She listens to her parents, hardly throws tanties, does as she's asked to do, watches Tamil/Hindi movies when bored, when asked why Aishwarya Rai is crying in a movie she says 'cos her boyfriend left her and went to a faraway country' LOL!, has an ear for good music, always greets you with a cuddle and a long and very cute 'hayyllllooooww' when you visit her place, smiles abundantly, is full of questions starting with a 'why' for anything you say (and those 'why's never end!), will try to make tea for you, will go and tell her mum that Aunty K is here and that we should start the party (yes she thinks I'm a Party on legs!), dances to Bratz music and assigns each person a Bratz' doll name. And Loshi doesn't know that Aunty K has a doll too...yes I still have a doll and I love her to death...and her name is Loshi! She decorates my life and makes me forget all the blues...just what a doll does anyways. I miss my doll so much cos she's on holidays in Singapore right now. This one's for you sweetheart MWAHHH!

So, do you have any dolls in your life? Cmon, share your dolls with me!

Current Music: Living Doll by Cliff Richard

Judgement Day

First of all my heartfelt THANKS to each and everyone who answered questions in the last post! You guys totally rock! Your answers were quite eye-opening, therapeutic and so full of wisdom. Amazing bunch you are!

And now this is for some of you who didn't quite understand the reason behind that post. Yesterday when I put up that post, I wasn't judging anyone as much as I didn't expect to be judged. Those questions are common to most of us and it wasn't a post to point fingers at others, neither was it a loud cry of my WANTs in life, neither was it to say that Im depressed and about to commit suicide! I didn't ask why am I single, why can't I have more shoes, why is my dad dead, why am I not rich, why can't I have a Ferrari etc etc, did I? So it definitely wasn't about my WANTs. And I wasn't trying to say that I was perfect either...hell I'm not perfect. Infact I'm the most imperfect blogger as far as I can see...cos most people here seem to have this perfect view of the world, you know 'don't worry be happy' kinda life. To be honest, I don't have that kinda life, neither am I going to pretend that life is so beautiful (well it can be at times but not always), and ask everyone else to dance along too. I hate over-positiveness. I believe it can be as damaging as over-negativeness can be. Being blind to reality and always avoiding it under a 'I'm Happy' umbrella is total cowardice to me. So I'd rather live through my own experiences than some other's. And neither am I gonna expect everyone else to understand my life or to live by my motto. Simply said, to each his own. And I really don't want an ear full of advice on how to be happy either...NO THANKS!

The questions in that post portrayed a common paradigm of life, that didn't exclude me (please note!). I'm very much a part of it too. But some people forgot to see that and started to question my credibility and values...as if I said that I'm perfect and others are all imperfect?? Some even thought that I'm asking for too much in life, when I wasn't even asking for anything to happen - they were mere questions, not requests. Although I can't understand why that post was interpreted that way by some of you here, I'm totally gobsmacked. Just like everyone else, I'm very much a Taker as much as I'm a Giver. That post did not intend to put you in the naughty corner and beat you with the 'perfect' stick. That post did not intend to question your worth against mine. That post did not intend to test your understanding of life against mine. It was merely a learning process for me as much as it may have been for some of you. But yesterday it felt like it was 'my' Judgement Day...I wonder why. Just cos of a simple set of questions, some people felt like they just got busted..maybe they did. But it isn't my fault so I aint gonna cop any of that either. Sort it out with yourselves please.

As I have stated before, I blog to give a voice to my feelings, to learn from you, to grow as a person and to make connections. I don't blog to play God. Neither am I here to be the Judge and the Jury.

And now, for those who answered some questions and for those who didn't see it as a finger-pointing post, I THANK you for your understanding, intergrity and knowledge. You know who you are. I really learnt alot from ALL your answers like I never did before. However, I won't be 'choosing' any winners as I said I would, I'm really sorry! *for reasons I'd like to keep mum about* So I'll keep that for another post, on another day. TC and once again, Thank You for taking part and teaching me so much about life! You guys are like a field of flowers that I never wanna return home from. This song is especially for you (and me)...for us who know that life is about both pleasure and pain. MWAH!

Current Music: Pleasure And Pain By Divinyls

From The Depths Of My Soul...

DISCLAIMER: Please note that I'm not demanding anyone to answer these questions here. It's entirely upto you. Thanks!

Do you sometimes feel like you're watching life as it passes you by, as if you're the only spectator in a game where everyone else is taking part?



Why are some people so obsessed with finding a partner and marriage as if it's the only thing about life...can't we be like the tree that bears fruits but does not crave for love?



Can there be a love so inseparable just like how the mist and the mountains can never be parted?

Like how the taste of food lasts only while it's in your mouth, are certain feelings just momentary or do they all have deep roots and lasting effects?

Like a deer among the wolves, does your heart sometimes beat in total fear?

Like how a snake would carry poison in it's fangs, why do some people carry so much venom in their hearts?

If trees can give us shade without expecting anything in return, why can't we help without craving for glory?

Like a dewdrop at the edge of a leaf, does life hang in sheer uncertainity?

Does a piano melody remind you of a distant unfinished story?

Why do certain people, voices, smells, pictures, songs, places remind you of someone/something you can never explain or relate to in this life?

Just like the moon comes out only at night, after people die would they show up again at some other time?

Just like a spiral staircase, does your world sometimes get twisted and dizzy?

Do some people soothe your heart like the cool grass underneath your feet?

When you see a Waterfall, does it make you wonder what your destination might be?

Like the leaves start to fall in Autumn, do you sometimes fall too?

And Just like Spring quietly gives life to nature, do some friends give you comfort without a single word being whispered?

Does a carefree child's laughter remind you of the sweetest music ever?

Does wrinkly skin and an ailing body of a 95yr old remind you the impermanence of everything?

How do you know if someone truly cares, like the clouds would never leave the skies?

Like when a flower gets plucked from it's tree, do we become 'individuals' as soon as we leave our mothers' wombs?

Why am I harsh to the sweetest people in my life, just like how the rivers flood and wash away it's own banks sometimes?

Can you end up loving and giving light to someone who's the total opposite of who you are, just like how the stars light up the darkest skies?

Those are some questions that popped in my mind. Select any number of questions you like from the above list (be it just 1 or 5 or 9 or if you're really energetic, even all questions), and give me your answers/views on them, through your own understanding and life experiences. Keep it simple and short if possible. I'll pick some outstanding replies and update here later on. But don't think of this as a competition only...just be true to yourself...be natural...be real. That's when the best answers come out anyways. Ok, so good luck and here's another chance for those who said they never win in my blog etc hehe. Thanks in advance and have a blissful week ahead guys!

Today's song is one of my fav Sinhalese songs from the Sinahala movie Saptha Kanya...the actress in this video is one of my mates from school...can you believe that? :) And the actor in this movie is the actual singer of this song too. Besides these 2 were dating each other during this movie...hence we can see their intense connection in this video too :). If you can't view the video in my blog, go here. It's a beautiful song with amazing and haunting music. It's a love ballad with a very deep meaning too. Enjoy!

Current Music: Unmaadha Wu by Kamal Addaraarachchi and Damayanthi Jayasuriya