Friday, January 23

Confessions Of An Archaeological G-String...

WARNING: Long post ahead. Read it before the expiry date!


Love That's Become A Tyrannosaurus Rex!
Boy o boy there were some haunting orgasmic screams from the dingy depths of the Love cemetery, in that last post! Thanks to all of you smart and witty readers of my blog *not to mention sex-starved beyond recognition* I laughed so much in the last 2 days reading all your clever comments! If you read some of the whacky and brilliant one-liners in the comment section of that last post, you'll know what I mean. Fossiled confessions of prehistoric sexual encounters that haunt you like ghosts from the B.C era can be a laughing matter if taken lightly and not grieved upon as a mutation of the LOVE gene *Libido is expired alright but I still love shoes!*. Cos there are so many of us suffering from that 'genetic' condition btw *you're so not alone..rolling eyes*. I guess that's cos Lust is cheap but Love is priceless *that's a leaf out of Keshi's Love Life which is now an Archaeological site btw*. And while Ki reckons it's been so long that she cannot even remember how/when her Virginity grew back, Div has even forgotten how to fake it *I don't even remember if there's anything called faking it*. And Hemz don't even remember who it was while Rakesh can't remember what LOVE is *is that what happens to 30+ folks?*. Margie on the other hand is busy making mashed potatoes & gravy thinking that's what it's all about *we understand that kinda memory loss, it's ok babygirl*. Deepz thinks missionary is catholic *and I suppose fellatio is an icecream?*. And Sawan don't even remember what he forgot while Mayz don't know anymore what it looks like down there *we girls have an upper section too don't we? can someone confirm that plz cos I can't remember*. So, it seems like many of us are living in the Ethiopia of Love, where sexual hunger rules and we don't even remember if certain bodily organs exist anymore! BUT, don't lose hope my fellow sensually-mutilating dinosaurs! Cos I came across sir Prabir who apparently gives LASTING lectures *with practicals I suppose* on this matter, and have offered to help those who can't get it up, oops I mean those who can't get it on *I suppose he meant the Condom here?*...Tarun now there's some 'condomiraculous' hope, just hang in there mate. So contact sir Prabir if you wanna check out from the museum of Love for good and get rid all those cobwebs on your body! *ewww*


The X Factor
Alright, now I know you're all waiting to know who my hot new flatmate is? Righteo so let's get down to it. The magic number X is...*drum roll*...5! 5 for 5 fingers that haven't felt anything in a long time, if you know what I mean. *sorry, finger-licking good KFC don't count*. At first I thought of 69 but when Bev confused me with a 96 I totally forgot what 69 was LOL! And so, the valid comment #5 was cleverly entered by ... ... ... THE amazing porcupine-pricked-pink-all-over Chriz!! Congrattz Chriz and welcome to my online home! *see pic of Chriz above with his guitar* You my dear, get to share my blog space with me for 1 whole post :). Yes, you're my current flatmate! I really pity ya though cos you're gonna have to live with a maniac - all the best. *btw I've labelled my cruisers in the fridge, so don't touch em and oii dry your red undies elsewhere please, not on my couch!*. So, as the owner of this blog, I'm gonna have to let you know the tennancy laws you have to abide by ok Chriz? And that is, just don't do a 69 in my Living Room...just kidding haha! All you've got to do is write a post for me on the topic I'm gonna be emailing you soon...in your own style Chriz. Pay me rent by being honest and not trying to change anything about your writing style just to suit Keshi or her readers. I.O.W. just be yourself - make yourself at home and you know we all love your style *this is me jazzing already to Chriz's music in my Living room*. And also in that post that we are gonna be doing together, you have to reply to comments of my readers (if they have any comments/questions for you). That's all you've got to do. Simple isn't it Chriz? Ok. Now if you break those rules, the lease may expire even before you move in! ok I'm sorry I'm being such a boasting biyatch I know I know ;-). *HUGS* Alright, we'll discuss the post via email and keep our readers on toes ok. Thanks Chriz and thanks all of ya for taking part! Don't worry if you didn't win this time, cos I'll always be looking for a hot new flatmate in a hot new post sometime soon again...so stay tuned. Anyways I'm sure you all had fun in that last post, cos I did! "*the last pic here shows what happened to Chriz after moving in with Keshi*


Also, Phoenix (Raka) wants to know where on the INTERNET she could learn Tamil from. So if anyone here knows the answer, please let me/Raka know. Thanks in advance! And joyeux anniversaire Cess MWAH have a good one luv! Cess is a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart...and it's her birthday today. And on this post I wanna say this to her: May she never enter the prehistoric site that some of our love lives have now become!


And this weekend I have a massive b'day party *dress code: formal and with 100+ guests* to go to, and it's so darn hot here in Sydney. What do I wear?? A coconut-shell bra and a grass skirt? The heat is making me sick and I'm walking around as if I'm in a trance...I nearly flushed my keys in the toilet, for a micro-second I couldn't remember where my office was *that was done kinda intentionally*, I accidentally took my lunch to the loo, I feel my brain is melting like hot lava, I lost my sunnies only to be found in my own hands etc etc! Anyways, today's song is for the b'day gal Cess...enjoy it dahlin! Ciao babies have a good one!



Current Music: Dancing Queen by ABBA

63 Cranium Signets:

WP 2009 said...

Hi Keshi

First image: OMG! Keshi! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF???!!!

LOL

Will read the post later--still busy.

Bev

Suresh Kumar said...

I had promised God that I would break 1000 coconuts if i get this HOT opportunity. Lets hope the luck wud be with me the next time around :)

The best way to learn tamil is to watch tamil movies with subtitles thats how i learnt tamil. U will get lots of Mani Rathnam and Rajni DVD movies with subtitles.

Waiting for the joint post

Margie said...

Congrats to Chriz...I'll look forward to ur post together.
And happy b'day to Cess..

Have fun at the big b'day party on the weekend.
WOW!!! 100+ guests...that's a whole lotta people.
Try & stay cool...I dun't like it when it's sweltering like it's been there in Sydney.
Just hop on the first plaane to CO.
It's gonna be chilly here tomorrow & snow is expected...Yay! I love snow!
Today it was 65 & yesterday it was 70...CRAZY weather!

Well, my sweet hubby told me if I made him some mashed potatoes & gravy, he would be forever grateful...get the idea!
*Wink..wink*

Bye, hun!
Have a wonderful & happy weekend!

HUGZ!

Margie

Trinaa said...

i lost????? :'(

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi- LOL-I did read through the whole set of 'fill in the blanks'-it was grt fun!How about compiling the list?It'd make a great Archie's greeting card!!:)(Now,don't ask 'for what?'ROFL)

AmitL said...

And,yep,nice pick for the best 69!!ROFL.

deepsat said...

niceeee!!!!

Have a good weekend and enjoy!!

;-))

Southpaw unplugged said...

Oh hell!!!not again.....

Hemanth Potluri said...

congrats chriz...i once told raka a site may be it dint help ..:P...

happy birthday to cess..

have a gr8 weekend keshi :)..

urs..hemu..

Priya said...

Took your lunch to loo... boy flush off Keshi and u will be fine.

mayz said...

is dat a tiger in bed????
i thot that was a tiger in bed :((((

Devika said...

Funny you, Keshi.


enjoyed :)

wishes,
devika

prabirsaha said...

Hello Keshi,

You as always amaze me with your whacky sense of humour and your gripping writing skills.

You really should be writing a book on "Amazing secrets on how to create a traffic jam in your blogsite" and am sure ... which will be NY TIMES best seller in a record time.

Keep writing and make this world smile ... Cheers Prabir

Jay said...

Congrats to Chriz!

Have a great weekend Keshi babe!

Chriz said...

hahaha.. keshi girl.. that is amazing... i am packing my bags to move in with you for commencing our live-in relationship..

i have taken all the gadgets too.. and have bought a brand new red underwear with pink laces.. hope you'd like it...

will take the post soon and will be posting it very very soon kesh...

thanks a bunch for this love showered... i hope that nothing like the picture happens to me after i move in.. :)

and porcupine! i seriously pity them.. man ! when they mate.. its gonna be havoc for sure...

Chriz said...

@phoenix!!!!

girl i am tamil.. the best way to learn all the bad words in tamil is take a two day course with me.. free of charge

Vipul said...

Lol reading this from the beginning i could literally feel what are you upto, not until i came towards the middle part.

A coconot-shell bra and a grass skirt? Ahem! No comments!!

I nearly flushed my keys in the toilet, for a micro-second I couldn't remember where my office was *that was done kinda intentionally*, I accidentally took my lunch to the loo, I feel my brain is melting like hot lava, I lost my sunnies only to be found in my own hands etc etc!

Now that is called Insanophobia! Though who wants to remember their office anyway hehe

Nice post keshur You rock:)

Chriz said...

yes

prason@chronicwriter.com

thats where i live .. i looking out through the window waiting for the postman to deliver the mail.. hoping it would be a prematured delivery...

uttara said...

a ha.. interesting read!

and congrats to chriz... :)
5 is my fav no. :D he he he

Dawn....सेहर said...

I am not sure if its me...or its your sense of humor ...:) your post makes me laugh!!!
I learnt Tamil because my neighbors were tamilians and I used to play with the kids so I learnt by speaking with them!...try to make a tamilian friend ;) or you may have one already :)
luv yeah dear
hugz n cheers

Dawn....सेहर said...

oh yeah I forgot to mention I love Abba :) so you can imagine how much time am spending on your blog ;)
I need to add one soon :D
Hugz dear

Tarun said...

Why a coconut bra and a grass skirt.

Australian season is happening.
I say a tennis dress and a tennis racket would be fine as well.

:P

Akshat said...

@$#$%%&%#$!#%$#@%$%

I didn't get it!! :P :D :)

Yupp the comments were surely hilarious!!

The wolf pic is hilarious!!

Congrats Chriz!!

Take Care

Talking To My Soul said...

Love That's Become A Tyrannosaurus Rex!!!!!

Gawd, I mis-read it first. Thought it was Love That's Become A Tyrannosaurus Sex.

Good luck, Chriz. God bless you. And to you too, Kesh. I am watching, like I said before.

*smilez*

MultiMenon said...

oh ho!!congos to chriz..
wishin ya a rocking weekend ahead.. :)

tc

Nikhil

The Rat... said...

LOLZ....


rite person for u Keshi...

wen u had d last post only Chriz came to my mind as ur perfect roomy..

enjoy u two.. :D... ll expect a post with lots of red undies... :P

Chakoli said...

:)))))

Finally congrats Chriz.... for the magic number..
hw did you picked it up Keshi?/

What to wear...go for... some transprent cloth ;-)

Jeevan said...

Till now I could not know what the X numbers u mention here! Cool keshi, seems u got fun read those comments. Happy b’day for cress. Have a wonderful weekend party dear, take care :)

!TEQ-uila Del Zapata said...

huuu! such a long post.
and happy buday to ... lemme see the name...yeah cess.
anyway, let see what do u come up next with.

vishesh said...

:)

Elithraniel Arawion said...

CHRIZ? lol... awww keshi have fun...

Trinaa said...

@chriz..n now keshi too u 5 timer???!! u r off my V day list! :P

Jack said...

Keshi,

Some of the comments were outright hilarious. Best of luck to the winner. How was the party?

Take care

Kartz said...

You sure do update your space quickly! :)

And Chriz! The funny man! Careful... Lest Mr. X takes his place... ;)

Have fun.

Peace.

---
And yeah, birth anniversary greetings to Cess...

Asha said...

LOL!! Some people have good imagination!

Enjoy your weekend Keshi girl, hugs.

Rakesh said...

good....have ever fallen in love:)..love having different meaning for different context......

Rakesh said...

Phew... I didn't wait for the US election result so eagerly... that was some fun we had with those one liners...

And now what happens when two sex starved ppl move in together???

Prashanti :) said...

congrats chriz !!!!!!!!!!!! will wait for the post .. and the pics in the post are super funny :)

hope u have fun with ur "hot" flatmate keshi

Prashanti

Cess said...

Cess *moving her body at her desk while listening to ABBA* u can dance *sure i can* :P
thank u sweeeeeeetie for the multiple bday wishes in my site, hems site and urs :) so many people wish me happy bday that made me feel good.
I m really really really lookin fwd the joint post wid Crizz it s gonna be probably hilarious :)
u take care and I can dance :P
mwah *people staring strangely at her in office*
bye

shooting star said...

quite a freaky post......the heat must be getting to you keshi dear!!!

Nachi said...

damn it!! this was our chance to be together, Keshi girl!!

*sigh* :'(

...no worries, you can make my shattered heart feel a little tiny bit better by sending me a pic of you in the coconut shell bra and grass skirt!

do some damage control here...

Ria said...

wow!tht was a nice post. :( And i m sad tht i dint win!!but i wasnt even expecting it, wht with this kinda competition. :P Anyways, wear a dress coz tht will be easy on the body coz anything cud make u sweat like hell!! Do lemme know how the party was. Enjoy the weekend babe!! :)

Lapa said...

passei para saber como estás?

general_boy said...

A coconut-shell bra and a grass skirt?

Wait... you are making that sound like a BAD suggestion? :P

WP 2009 said...

Hi Keshi

Very nice LLLLOOOONNNGGGG POST.

Your grade for this post is 96%.

I'll leave the '69' up to you. :)

LOL

Bev

Arv said...

LOL... good one mate... I had a good laugh too :)

you have a lovely weekend... cheers...

Chriz said...

@ hems
@margie
@jay
@uttara
@akshat
@talking to my soul
@nikhil
@rat
@nikhil
@chakoli
@anusha
@kartz
@rakesh
@prashanti

thanks a bunch... would be a crazy one always....

@trinaa
i am just gonna share the space with keshi for a week.. ill be back to you safe and sound...

southpaw said...

Going to ur hometown tomorrow for 3 days...:D

Hobo ........ ........ said...

Too long post.
mummmyyyyyyyyyy
:(

Phoenix said...

*whistles*

cool post

and thanks for the link...any feedback???

Vipul said...

Still i am havin a laugh of time!

n i t i n said...

let the reverberations resonate the dingy doongies of the world!!

hmm...so where was i? aah! I ahve a chatti! and its now inverted on my head, and someone is pouring grey matter over it. Hope it reaches my head...


SOb! loved the post! wee!

The Phosgene Kid said...

crap, lost again. Ah well, there's always next time..

Aneesh said...

LUcky me!!!!!!

I commented on previous post and then read this one.. So, the selection has already been done...
Good LOL :P
BTW, the last post was really funny with all the comments ...
new ideas...
Nice to see you are back to yourself now
:)

Julia Scissor said...

I just read a few comments from the previous post. It felt good because now I know I'm not the only one MIA.

You are one helluva popular bloggergirl, though.

Satish Bolla said...

keshi, that was fun. good continuation frm the previous post. my best wishes to Chriz

Ashu said...

Hi keshi how r u

Iceman said...

ROTFL....

Good one!

Ani said...

hehe nice one.. sorry couldnt participate in the last one though.. hehe

Pecos Blue said...

Wow sounds very exciting to an old married girl with kids. Finger licking! Hummmm Sex and Lucia?

Shrav said...

Was this long?? I thought other posts of yours were even longer :):)

I read all those brilliant one liners too!! Sexy and creative!! :p

And congrats to Chriz!! :):):) I'm waiting for that joint post of yours!

and the pics you chose for welcoming Chriz (the cat stuff) was cool.

And to phoenix, I know to talk tamil, I maybe able to help you there :P

Happy budday to Cess :):)

And have fun at the party!! :)

P.S: Don't you have an airconditioned office?

Keshi said...

tnxx All!

Keshi.

Heart'n'Soul said...

oh damn i lost

actully I am really lost.... poppin in once in a while to catch up n GAWD... this time its so much to catchup on..

way to go gal

chriz... congrats!!!