Thursday, January 15

A Thousand Miles From Yesterday...

Do you ever get lonely like I do, even when you're with people? Do you ever feel that you'll never be pristinely happy again, like you were in your childhood? Do you ever cry like I do, and not know why? Do you ever sit all alone at night and think about me, like I think about you? Do you ever feel that no one understands you? Do you ever feel that you're the only one going through this pain? Do you ever feel that everything and everyone is so fragile? Do you ever feel that all of this is such a drag? Do you ever feel that you'll never find someone who can just accept you unconditionally? Do you ever pick up the phone many times and then don't feel like calling, just cos you realise that it won't make a difference? Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and lay awake til dawn? Do you ever think about all those names in your phone-book and feel so empty? Do you ever get numb and speechless from that loneliness, like I do?


I packed my bags, said goodye to the past and drove all those miles in life just to find myself all alone again, in a distant empty hotel room, thousands of miles from yesterday, and thousands of miles from tomorrow. What's gone is gone for good...what's to come is out of reach. All I have is today and today I'm feeling lonely, and it's nothing new...and it's fast becoming a part of my life and something that I seem to like. Did relationships kill my passion for people? I never ever thought I'd say I wanna be alone, cos in the past I was always with people craving for company, but it looks like loneliness has become me and I have become loneliness. That's right, I'm not the girl I used to be. Yes, I'm a thousand miles from yesterday...strange how life takes you from one place to another, molding your heart and soul into a completely different shape with time and experiences...yes, I'm a thousand miles from yesterday and I don't wanna drive back either...


Note: This is not a post to gain sympathy or to say I need more friends(/a partner) in my life. Been there, done that and I've got plenty of experience with people. This post is about how I truly feel right now about my life, and I'd like you to see it for what it is and not confuse it with how life SHOULD be...cos, this IS my life. Thanks.


Current Music: Lonely by Shannon Noll

131 Cranium Signets:

Prashant Singh said...

This is far more common than most of people will admit .i guess they are in denial . Only different is that those who are articulate can put it in word as an act of catharsis.

Lately i am thinking of writing something on this urban loner thing around us . lets see when that happen .

MultiMenon said...

If you dun really learn from ur mistakes,u ain't goin anywer..Life's like that I ges..

Good that ur a thousand miles from yesterday..Am on ma way.. :)

sis,u dun have ur email id put up eh??tried lotsa different things just to fail miserably to get in touch wid ya..Can I??

Take care coz I care..

Nikhil

Arunima said...

yeah this is your life.
All I wanna say is...
"Hope you get your answers soon"

:)

mayz said...

to all d questions that u asked...i wud say i havent felt em...but yeah lotsa ppl have felt em coz of me...

n as u said no sympathy...so wont go..."awww keshi wat happnened...everythin is gonna b allright honey bunny...no tears...jus smile"...NO...nothin of dat sort :P

but hugs dont come in sympathy...they r a way of expressin affection

so

hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!! :)

c'est la vie said...

seriously you aren't the same you used to be; that cuddly cuddly full of life human.

as far as your Ques. are concerned, i guess they more or less common with all the people who can think. we learn from our past and try to perform better in present and future. that's how this life is. getting lonely and feeling nothing is a paltry and temporary thing.

hey, cheers.

Elithraniel Arawion said...

did i tell u that i ask myself all these questions everyday? :) we'll get over it, diva.. don worry.. live for urself.. that's the only thing worth doing :) love ya

uttara said...

everyone has their bit of past which one cannot negate.. they either similar or far apart but still it's not that u r a loner who is going through shit.. so just live life the way it comes and live for 2de not the past not future but 2de..

have a great day and u'll be fine ..
pull up ur socks now... and get out of ur grumpy mood :) gimme a million$ smile :)

HUGGZ

Prakhar said...

of all the questions you raised...my answer for many of them is Yes..and indeed it has became a part of our life...sad but true :(

**but it looks like loneliness has become me and I have become loneliness** ...please dun let it happen

lets not go back..lets start a new journey!

luv ya! :)

Southpaw unplugged said...

Reading this post got many things all of a sudden in my mind, even scribbled on my blog in an effort to share with others, but then deleted again, afterall ITS MY LIFE....sigh***

Mystique Wanderer said...

get in line...get in line...u r way back in winning the sob story contest brownie...

:P

Hiren said...

"You're always alone, but you're only lonely if you don't like the person you're alone with..."
~ Aristotle

this is what LIFE is ... and it happens to each one of us :)

cheer up mate !!!

Rakesh said...

With 7 people in our home (including two little devils) and audit pressures in office because of the year end, I really wish I could reach the place where you now are - Alone :)

There is nothing more I wanna do now than sitting on a reclined chair facing the outdoors, put my feet up and loose myself in a book ALL ALONE... without a laptop, without a laptop and without worrying to change my son's nappy :)

Suresh Kumar said...

I am not feeling lonely but sometimes fear that I may become lonely in the future.

And I am definitely not prepared for such a situation. Practically speaking, it is better if it comes in a person's life at a early stage. If it comes at the very late stage of life, he may crumble down. That is the fear I have now.

Shoe Girl said...

........keshi..
answer to all those ques is... YES..

Hugs:)

anits said...

hi keshi..Do you ever feel that you're the only one going through this pain? YEA..I ALWAYS FEEL THAT..N BLAMING GOD! but wen think back..ter r lotz more people out ther suffering worse than us...v shud thank god for it.
hmmm LIFE!!!!! letz live this life properly..

tcare keshi..hugs..

rantravereflect/ jane said...

i feel like im a 10000 miles away too.. work is like a blizzard taht has taken me away from blogging..
just read your last biodat posts n now this one..

,missssss ya my hotttt chica- loved the cleave in the last one sexy kitten- meowwwwww!

n yehhh, there are the lows, n nothin can change the feeling, i'm there with you- think of you n smile atleast once a day my keshikins...

just here to say, we may be a thousand miles apart, but you never fail to light up and warm my heart..
hope that cheer comes right back to you :*

mwaaaaaaaaaauh.,

Margie said...

Just remember, Keshi the worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
And, you know yourself very well & have a real sense of comfort...
Treasue that!

** It looks likes loneliness has become me and I have become loneliness.**

Maybe so, but you bring love to the lonely & joy to many!
You really do!
That is a very special gift you have been blessed with!

I'm here for you, hun!
Always remember that & know I truly care!
HUGGGGGZ!

Margie

Margie said...


I wish
I could construct
a colossal web
sweeping across
starry heavens
to ensare the
morning dew
to illuminate your
day.


Luv ya, Keshi

Margie
P.S Can u give me a big smile now?.awwww! there u go!

Trinaa said...

gal!!!!!!! u have been reading my mind!!

yes i'm surrounded by ppl..n yet i seem to stand alone!
yes i have no reason to be unhappy..n yet i cry all night long!
yes i have everything i'll ever need...i yet all i feel is hollow!

"Did relationships kill my passion for people? I never ever thought I'd say I wanna be alone, cos in the past I was always with people craving for company, but it looks like loneliness has become me and I have become loneliness."

this is soooooooooo me rt nw.. :((

Donn Coppens said...

I still listen to a band from the 70s called Captain Beyond. My favorite song is called Thousand Days of Yesterday!

We all live 90ish% of our lives in our brain and we grow and change and adapt.

There isn't a single skin cell on your body that was there 21 days ago, or a bone cell that was there 9 years ago or muscle 15 years ago...they all get replaced except your brain and eye cells..
they have to last a lifetime.


Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
Oscar Wilde

Margie said...

One more poem for you before I go to bed....

Request To A Minstrel

Sing unto me a song of seasons
of death, birth and happiness.
Sing unto me a song of reasons
staid thoughts and deepest contemplations.
Sing unto me a song of sorrows
quiet longing and dark despair.
Then, sing unto me a song of tomorrows
of joy and laughter...
tarry longest there.


Good- night, Keshi.
love

Margie

deepsat said...

life is simple when u r all by yourself. it gets complicated when you are mixed up with other. On both sides, the grass is always green!

take care!

Arv said...

yes...

.. and am so there with you...

Kavitha Rajan said...

all those Q..ermm i have ask myself b4....hardly get my answers...Hope u get urs...

but theres always a warm hug frm me..

..HUGS..

*cheers*
kavy

The Rat... said...

:) i so so so understand Keshi.. this one feeling is mutual...

Hugzzz Dear...

vishesh said...

shhhh....listen...

Cess said...

I read the first paragraph of ur post and I thought: damn is she talking about me? i could answer yes to all these questions specially feeling lonely when surrounding by people that makes me sad and mostly leave the party earlier than i used to do before, crying for no reason, pick up the phone and don t feel like calling, wake up in the middle of night and stay awake till down...are there any medicine against this loneliness, sometimes i wish it could be different but i can consider myself lazy for not trying to find someone but do i want to find someone....damn we can be so complex and even if my comment is confusing I know what u re talking about but i never found the words to write it like u did, thanks so much for the clarifications u re great Keshi. And I m sure that someone like won t finish her life lonely, u have to give and there is so many things people can learn from u, it would be a waste if someone can t enjoy a part of glamorous and smart Keshi's life.
u take care sweeetie
:*

Pinku said...

another time, another place and we all have been through something like this or will be.

In the complex world of time you are not alone just separated by a few thousand miles.thats all

Satish Bolla said...

keshi, this is one hell of a post. really really fantastic. i've read it 5 times, so far. each word is applicable to my situation, at least. just made me nostalgic n think abt the good ol'days. but am sure better ones exist in the future.

for the first time, i bow my head in front of ur writing skills. proud to b a buddy of urs.

CrazyHeart said...

yeah keshi i have felt that lott..ya..
some sort of emptiness in heart..and yet u are forced to smile..
many ppl..around..we dont feel like even speaking a word to them..

Chriz said...

happiness and sadness is part and parcel of relationships..

you know it better than me.. and the post singes me

Talking To My Soul said...

I wanted to write so many things in reply but my mind is now cluttered, and almost numb. May be I would be able to say something about this in my next post.

For now, I can quote this poem for you, Kesh. Also for me.

She sat and sang away
By the green margin of a stream,
Watching the fishes leap and play
Beneath the glad sunbeam.

I sat and wept alway
Beneath the moon's most shadowy beam,
Watching the blossoms of the May
Weep leaves into the stream.

I wept for memory;
She sang for hope that is so fair:
My tears were swallowed by the sea;
Her songs died in the air...


Stay Good.

*smilez*

Sophie said...

you seem a lil gloomy gal?
just sit back relax....

Aneesh said...

Mmmm.. I have felt it. I still feel it sometimes... But, I'm used to it for so long that I don't care anymore.. Just take the way it comes is my policy now.
May be it is right, may be it is wrong, but I just don't care
:)

prabirsaha said...

Again as usual wonderful ... BTW you know when I read "with how life SHOULD be...cos, this IS my life" ... I remembered one of the starting lines in our first posts "Life is beautiful, Belief is powerful ... when you marry the two, you see the fullness from within" :) Life is indeed beautiful.

If you like to read the full post then please feel free to click the link below:
http://transformationplus.blogspot.com/2008/12/life-is-beautiful.html

Cheers
Prabir

Asha said...

Oh, I have felt that. I am right in the center of a fun party and sometimes I glaze out. I catch myself looking out of the window when everybody else is laughing loudly trying to be "social". Now a days, I just say "no, get ahead and enjoy" to Arvind and I stay home and I am happy as a clam! ;D

Some of us are like that,not very fun to others but we love to be alone. I don't feel lonely when I am alone, there is a difference! It's okay to be that way, that doesn't make me weird! :)

Arjun said...

Too much of anything is anathemic
I know what you are going through
I feel the same way sometimes
Too many relationships - now I think I know it all
I am wrong

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

umm keshi dear i dont want to be mean but there can be a 1000 people who comment on your blogs , but only a few can touch your heart. ( i think , i may be wrong :) ) .

people will be friends with u , if u be the friend that u want them to be to u .
loneliness is a part of our lives , some of us loners have come to accept the fact that there wont be any one waiting 'in the end' for them . dont do that to yourself dear , :) lifes waiting for you .

Akshat said...

Hey Keshi.....most of the answers are yes....but it is always just the darkness before dawn!!

It always passes on....and so would this!!

Till then eat loads of chocolates....and ice cream...[as if you need a reason but]..it helps a lot!!!

WarmSunshine said...

Just wanna say one thing...

I love you for your honesty :) It takes courage to speak those words you just did... and I respect you immensely!

*hugs*
*muah*

Whitenoise said...

Yeah, been there.

Prashanti :) said...

Hey Keshi,
These are feelings a lot of people feel sometime or the other in life... I am sure a lot of em would not agree and its just that you came out and said it.

Prashanti

La vida Loca said...

I feel lonely in a crowd a lot. Learnt to live w/ it.
Will I ever be happy like a child..why yes of course...coz it is a sate of mind and it can be achieved :)

Devika said...

what's this thousand questions you ask at your blog each time, Keshi...looking to read human minds or what!?

silly girl -- you think they talk all truth here??
and of all -- you saying with an NB...whats the intent, my dear :)

btw, as for me

The moment I see a smiling face (human or animal), I am as happy as the happiest...

and I am so close to my past as my present...

if my past is gone, the reality of the present loses all meaning...

& I believe in 'The future is not ours.' :)

so its just about NOW, with the feet on past...

wishes,
devika

Phoenix said...

hmm you have brought up what i myself wonder..why do i feel lonely when im in a crowd. its a bad bad feeling..

Phoenix said...

hey keshi... i really want to email you..a part of it is personal and a part of it not...i tried looking for your email id but its not there on your profile... can you please drop me your email id at raka.majumdar@gmail.com... id be really grateful

*hugs*

oo7 said...

jo bhi kaha sab sach kaha aapne.

i am telling you..have knocked all plans out of my life....
trying randomness for a change these days.

Die Muräne said...

"all I have is today"

yes, that's true.

sawan said...

i so loved the last pic.

how bout comin to india, have a coffee and discuss this face to face ? :P

Keshi said...

ty Prashant for being so honest!


**urban loner

I agree. We r fast becoming a generation that has everything, but real COMPANY.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Nikhil I dunno if I learnt anything from yesterday...except that now I wanna be alone.

I sent u an email long time ago...rem? :) Anyways, I'll send u one today.

tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Arunima I know I'll never find the answers to some qns...

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Mayz n HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!


**but yeah lotsa ppl have felt em coz of me...

why? did u abandon em?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey C'est tnxx!


**we learn from our past and try to perform better in present and future

Actually Im performing worse than in the past...Im just drifting apart from everyone...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Elithraniel!

**live for urself.. that's the only thing worth doing

yes...but wut am I living for?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Uttsy ty!

no darl, Im not grumpy...this loneliness has become a part of me...I cant be bothered abt anything/anyone anymore...and Im quite comfy with it..thats a jolt to my system :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Southy HUGS!

Im sorry if I stirred up buried emotions in ya...


**even scribbled on my blog in an effort to share with others, but then deleted again, afterall ITS MY LIFE

I feel sharing my life and feelings with ppl is immensely therapeutic...thats why I blog.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Mystique I know wut u mean...we all hv a sob story each...btw its the SAME story! :)

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Hiren!


*"You're always alone, but you're only lonely if you don't like the person you're alone with..."


mebbe Im beginning to dislike myself too then :(


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Rakesh u live with 7 ppl? WOW!


**There is nothing more I wanna do now than sitting on a reclined chair facing the outdoors, put my feet up and loose myself in a book ALL ALONE...


Thats what I call a HOLIDAY...u should get one :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Suresh!


**Practically speaking, it is better if it comes in a person's life at a early stage. If it comes at the very late stage of life, he may crumble down.


but does it matter what stage we hit loneliness? I mean, loneliness is loneliness, irrespective of age...and it hurts equally at any stage. thats what I think.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

HUGS Shoe_girl! I knew it that Im not alone..

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Anits ty!

I know, there r alot of ppl suffering out there. But Im not complaining abt my life Anits. Im just saying Im getting used to this Loneliness and Im actually liking it.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Jane MWAH! I missed ya tonz!

u found work? WOW congrattz! :)


I know..in blogville I feel there's always great COMPANY...


Keshi.

WP 2007 - 09 said...

Hi Keshi

I always wondered what it would be like if I could go back in time and correct all the stupid ass stuff I’ve done, and just maybe, I could rid myself of the demons who haunt my inner soul.

This all sounds very nice until I realize my experiences (good or bad) have made me who I am today and my demons motivate me to be a better person.

Is it really better to shed one’s self of yesterday?

Bev

Keshi said...

MArgie ty so much for all the support and all the lovely emails! u r one in a million. HUGS!


**I wish
I could construct
a colossal web
sweeping across
starry heavens
to ensare the
morning dew
to illuminate your
day.


that is such a beautiful thing to say! Im touched.

God sent me an angel one fine day...and He asked me to keep her with me. And her name is MARGIE.


I love ya angel!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

btw Margie I know ur always there for me..I just know it.

HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Trinaa HUGS sweetie!

Its ok to feel that way...see, even Im feeling that way. So ur not alone.


**yes i have everything i'll ever need...i yet all i feel is hollow!

exactly how I feel!


I have EVERYTHING, yet I have NOTHING.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Donno HUGS I love the REALITY that u r!


**they all get replaced except your brain and eye cells..
they have to last a lifetime.

WOW interesting info there!



**Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

So so true! thats why I feel so LONELY...cos I feel Im the only one who dun wanna FOLLOW anyone else...and some ppl tell me Im a fool for being myself.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Margie did u write that one? WOW Im touched! u r a beautiful writer, living so far away from me but residing right inside my heart.

*HUGZ* n ty for ur love n light!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Deepz!

**life is simple when u r all by yourself. it gets complicated when you are mixed up with other

I agree. but ppl wont leave me alone even when I wanna be alone. they say I should get married, I should do this, I should do that...its annoying. why is it all abt SHOULD?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Arv!

so hows ur family treating u these days? I mean do they nag u abt Marriage? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Kavy WC n ty!

awww ur so sweet. HUGS! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Rat!

*HUGZ*

luv ya!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Vish...shhh...listen to wut? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ Cess!


**...are there any medicine against this loneliness,

I guess the only medicine wud be to FEEL it...feel that loneliness fully and cry...TEARS help.



**sometimes i wish it could be different but i can consider myself lazy for not trying to find someone but do i want to find someone....


me too! I just cant be bothered abt anything anymore. ppl ask me why Im single..I dun even know. And I dun even wanna find anyone.


I so know exactly how u feel Cess. MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Pinku!

Its the emotional distance...I mean I cud be sitting next to someone lively and yet feel really lonely...

d u know wut I mean?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

WOW Satish r ya serious? U read it 5 times? Im stoked mate!


Im glad if reading this made u feel less ALONE. :) HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Crazy HUGS!


**some sort of emptiness in heart..and yet u are forced to smile..

exactly wut I mean!

I go to a party and everyone is smiling, so I smile too...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Chriz!


**happiness and sadness is part and parcel of relationships..

Im neither happy nor sad...I feel so neutral.


:)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

WOW u wrote that Soul? brilliant!


**I wept for memory;
She sang for hope


I loved that part alot.

how d u write so beautifully? I mean how d u put my feelings into words so perfectly? mebbe cos u've been where I've been too.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sophie 'gloomy' has become 'normal' now :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Aneesh I think Im reaching that stage too...


**May be it is right, may be it is wrong, but I just don't care


that stage..


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty for the encouragement Prabir!

Belief is powerful, I agree.

I'll read that post soon, tnxx alot!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey ty Asha, I knew it that u wud u'stand exactly wut I mean. HUGS!


**when everybody else is laughing loudly trying to be "social". Now a days, I just say "no, get ahead and enjoy" to Arvind and I stay home and I am happy as a clam!


good on ya! Im reaching that stage too. My mum n sis loves to go out all the time and Im like 'I dun wanna go today'...Im beginning to like being alone.



**Some of us are like that,not very fun to others but we love to be alone. I don't feel lonely when I am alone, there is a difference! It's okay to be that way, that doesn't make me weird


Spot on! This loneliness is really enjoyable now. cos there's no bullshit to put up with. :)


*HUGZ* luv ur honesty!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Arjun!

**Too many relationships

I agree..it can be daunting. even few r'ships in life r hard enough!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Truthful!

I know wut u mean. I hv alot of readers in my blog..but I dun hv r'ships with each one of em. Its not possible. This post is also abt my real life. I had many friends...slowly we drifted apart for many different reasons. I find it very hard to hv r'ships with ppl...ppl r so difficult. Now Im all alone and I find my life peaceful.


**some of us loners have come to accept the fact that there wont be any one waiting 'in the end' for them . dont do that to yourself dear

Im not afraid of not having anyone waiting for me. I never depended on others anyways. :)


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Akshat!


**but it is always just the darkness before dawn

I know...but it seems my dawn is my darkness now :) meaning Im enjoying my lonesome nights..they hv become my light.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Sunshine_girl same goes to ya...ur always honest and write straight from the heart! *HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Whitenoise Im still there ;-)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Prashanti I wonder why ppl r afraid/ashamed of the TRUTH.

tnxx hun HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Lavida!

**coz it is a sate of mind and it can be achieved

I wish I cud...cos sometimes I dunno wut to do abt ppl I can never hv back in my life..the ones who were there when I was a child.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Devika!

u dun hv to ans those qns, if u find em silly :)


**if my past is gone, the reality of the present loses all meaning...


I agree..the Past is very much a part of me. Thats why I cant seem to drop it all behind me and start afresh.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Phoenix tnxx hun!

ok will email u soon.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

oo7 WC n tnxx!


**have knocked all plans out of my life....
trying randomness for a change these days


I tried that too...I dun plan anymore..but I feel so HOLLOW.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Murane hey, and TODAY has YESTERDAY written all over it!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sawan!


**how bout comin to india, have a coffee and discuss this face to face ?

I wish I cud do that :) but Im not sure if it wud change a thing.

I mean, after we hv our coffee, after we say goodbye, after I board the plane back to Syd...I'd be back to square one.


Keshi.

Rex Venom said...

The fragility of life is what makes it special, and always dial, cause it always makes a difference!
Let it roll across your body and mind. The loneliness and the missing means you live.
Rock on!

Keshi said...

hey Bev tnxx hun!


** I could rid myself of the demons who haunt my inner soul.

I wish I cud too...but they continue to haunt me.

No, we cant get rid of our Past...the Past makes us who we r TODAY. So, its still a very big part of us.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

I agree Rex.


**Let it roll across your body and mind. The loneliness and the missing means you live.

WOW I love wut u said here. tnxx!

Keshi.

starry nights said...

Dearest keshi.I have asked those questions many times.sometimes life is lonely but please look forward, it is a passing moment and all i can do right now is send you a big warm hug from across the miles.love you Keshi.I wish I could say something to cheer you up.

Keshi said...

Prakhar I made a stupid mistake when replying to ur comment. So here it is again:

tnxx!

I feel good that Im not the ONLY one, but am I supposed to be feeling 'good' abt it? I dun even know.


**lets not go back..lets start a new journey

but everytime I start something new, I end up right back at square one...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Starry ty so much. HUGS!

Keshi.

Silvara said...

All the time babe...

We can be surrounded by people, by life and still feel like we're alone...

But we got to realise that there is nobody stronger in this life than ourselves - we CAN make a difference.

*Hugs*

Southpaw unplugged said...

I dont know, but like u said many times u feel like talking to somebody,pick up the phone yet dont dial and keep it aside again, sameways when it comes to share abt myself i scribble and then mostly delete it, yest also it became long and emotional so i just deleted it.

Margie said...

Keshi, dear
You touched my heart!
My friend Mary (who died in '06) used to call me angel....she always used to say..."And,,how is my little angel today?"
(Gosh, I miss her!)
And now you called me angel too.
AWWWWWWWWW!
Thank you...even though I don't think I'm an angel.

But I do treat my friends very well & always show them how much I care about them & give them my support.
You are a friend of mine & that is why I wrote the poems for you.
I also know you would appreciate them...as true friends show their appreciation of their friends!

You know I luv ya!
TC, Keshi.
HUGGGGGGZ!

Margie
P.S It's Fri there....I hope u do something special just for yourself this weekend...something to make u happy!
Maybe just stay home...we don't always have to be so busy.

deepsat said...

no one can tell u or make u do something which u don't want. when there r ppl around u, they will say according to what they want. don't get carried away. just follow what you want!

tc

!TEQ-uila Del Zapata said...

I have read one similar post? is this a rewrite?

Keshi said...

Silvara tnxx hun! wut u said means alot to me.

I luv ya!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Southy!

**pick up the phone yet dont dial and keep it aside again, sameways when it comes to share abt myself i scribble and then mostly delete it,

aww I know wut u mean...sometimes even after writing a post and sharing the thoughts with others, u get nowhere. I completely u'stand wut u mean!


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Hey Margie tnxx hun!

Im so sorry abt ur friend :( It made me very sad. why do ppl hv to die!!

ur definitely an angel! No wonder she called u that too. Sometimes I feel God sent me friends like u to get me thru some tough times...seriously! I hv no idea who else wud listen to my crap and still tolerate me. :)


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

I so agree Deepz...everyone blabbers abt wut they believe and worse, they try to force their beliefs on others!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anuz which post is that? no this is not a re-write :)

Keshi.

La vida Loca said...

Yes. I understand what you are saying about not having ppl who were around when u were a child. :(
I dont mean to be insensitive.

My dad lost his dad when he was 11 or so. To this day he feels the loss. :(

HUGZ

Talking To My Soul said...

HOLD IT!!!!

First things first. I did not write that, Kesh. I am nowhere near such class. It was Christina Rossetti, a British poet, one of the best to be born during 1800s. I love her work. Her poems on death are dark and so captivating. Do read them when you have time. Or ask me, I can mail them to you.

And this is one of the favourites. So don't thank me. Thank her. Yes, you can give me a li'l pat for quoting it in your honour because I felt it did fit your state of mind.

Yes, I guess, you and I have been through this phase of hopelessness in life. It comes and goes away. Only to sneak back some time later. So, don't worry much and stay happy. For happiness is a way of life.

*smilez*

!TEQ-uila Del Zapata said...

i am not sure which one, but i had a feeling i have written answers to those question, may be its just a deja vu, you never know.

enchanted illusionz said...

Do you ever get lonely like I do, even when you're with people?

i feel so only wen m wit ppl...i mean u cant connect wit quite a number of dem , der is some barrier , created somtimes by dem , somtimes by us....watever!

being alone wit urself is actually a celebration....der r smiles , laughter & somtimes tears & emptiness....but ders complete acceptance & dats wot matters i guess.

Do you ever sit all alone at night and think about me, like I think about you?
i do at times..

Do you ever feel that no one understands you?
used to feel so , but nw i hv stoppd noticin dat fact & evrythn luks allrite.
Do you ever feel that everything and everyone is so fragile?
yes...& sometimes m afraid 2 even touch..
Do you ever feel that you'll never find someone who can just accept you unconditionally?
i hav gt one & dats myself...

Do you ever pick up the phone many times and then don't feel like calling, just cos you realise that it won't make a difference?

ha..dats wot i hv alwz felt...

Do you ever get numb and speechless from that loneliness, like I do?
i do get speechless...but dats coz its all too beautiful...its too much f ppl dat make me numb & i shut myself down.:(
ppl r gud i guess,still....as far as i knw aloneness is d best! atleast 4 me..

.yes, I'm a thousand miles from yesterday and I don't wanna drive back either...

i knw...its surprisin hw much v change n a day ...hw far v hv walkd n a day, aint it...& wen i luk at it , d surprise is even more tan d tears..dat i 4get all abt cryin...lol!

makes me wanna say life is alwz WONDERful!

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Lovely thoughtful post babes!Take care.

*HUGS*

Ria said...

this happens to a lot of us. Like right now i feel so lonely. I knw i shudnt b saying this coz i hav a bf and lots of friends too, but i cant tie my bf with me at all times and besides friends hav their own life too!so here i m wanting to spend time with someone who can jus b there for me, with me...to hear me out when i want to rant, to hug me when i m not feeling well, to sit with me and do nothing at all!! but life is abt walking alone, u come alone when u r born and u die alone too!!thts life baby.

Satish Bolla said...

@keshi
ya, buddy. am very very serious. one hell of a post

Ani said...

babe... u just wrote what i have n still am goin through.. i just didnt wanna come to the blogsphere n write.. because i know i would end up puttin up my feelings.. n i get back all this crap about oh ur tryin to gain sympathy thing.. which i dont wanna..

ahhh thank u for the post.. well i still havent let things go.. or like my friend says try to go with the flow.. hnnmm sooon i guess..

Keshi said...

aww HUGZ Lavida!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww tnxx Soul! She's indeedz a great writer!


**guess, you and I have been through this phase of hopelessness in life. It comes and goes away. Only to sneak back some time later

I think u know exactly wut I mean.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anuz nope I never wrote another post like this before :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Enchanted ty so much! U made me feel NORMAL :)


**Do you ever feel that you'll never find someone who can just accept you unconditionally?
i hav gt one & dats myself...


Spot on! beautifully stated!


Im glad I hv someone else who feels exactly how I feel. makes me feel understood.


*HUGZ* luv ya!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sameera! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ria!

u too? HUGS!


**but life is abt walking alone, u come alone when u r born and u die alone too

Spot on! we r all lone creatures assuming that we r not alone.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Satish that means alot to me. not the fact that my post was good...but the fact that my post reached out to someone.

TY!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Ani sometimes its good to express..regardless of the comments u get or wut ppl think abt u. thats why pour my heart out here.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Ani said...

i know babe..

hehe will have a post out soon.. well being good.. had lot of ME time.. so had to sort out my priorities.. what i felt is important to ME not what others thought n think is important TO ME..

oh well just hope tht lasts..

Keshi said...

hey Ani!


** what i felt is important to ME not what others thought n think is important TO ME..


I agree..but it helps to get some feedback every now n then. cos life is not only about ourselves...its abt others too.


*HUGZ* TC!

Keshi.