Friday, February 15

When I'm Gone

It'll be a Sunday...the same day I was born. My eyes will be wet with fresh tears, I'd lie across the floor, my body frozen in sorrow and all alone...the same way I was born. My hands would seem like they are hugging the icy floor, longing to hold on to the little bit of life that's inside of me...the same spirit I was born with. People would surround my body and look at the same manner they did when I was born. I'd have a diary of my life left behind, few feelings given a voice, few unheard thoughts let the same cries that I cried when I was born. I'd be long-gone from the past yet so sure I'll be in the future...the same hunger that I crawled out of the womb with. My body would still be warm but my soul so empty and departed, like a tortured butterfly...the same way I lived.

A life in vain...a life never understood...a life that was never meant to be. A life lived fighting to be alive...a life lived struggling to be loved...a life lived dying a million times. When I'm gone, it'll be the way I lived. Nothing really changes. To live is to die is to live.

Current Music: My Immortal by Evanescence
Current Music Update: November Rain by Guns 'N Roses

120 Cranium Signets:

Steph said...

Beautiful yet bloody depressing!

Sweetstickychewy said...

You said it in your very last statement.

***To live is to die is to live.

Thats what life is about.

***a life that was never meant to be.

And keshi i disagree with that. You were never an accident. It made me sad reading that statement sweets.

I hope all things is well with ya there.

And also..*smiles* i read about you writing a diary. I Am the same. There are times i feel it would be good to leave a written diary juz so the people will have something to know when i am gone too. I am still pondering over that one at times.:)

*Hugz* sweets. I hope the weekend will bring great smile around.


wp 2007 said...

Hi Keshi

Very well written!

I was talking to a doctor about the side effects of a medication. One of the side effects is death. I questioned as to why anyone would take a drug that might kill them. The doctor said that death is also side effect of life.

It’s a very provoking thought, but the doctor is right. We are born; we live; we die. That’s the storyline. Everything in between supports the plot.

After saying that, have a great weekend.



Shionge said...

We can't escape death but at least we live to the fullest :D

Having said that, I don't want you to be gone for sure Sweetie :D

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi-that was quite touching-especially the 'to live is to die is to live' line..reminds me of 'from ashes to ashes,dust to dust',somehow..I didn't bring anything into this world,I won't be taking anything back from this world,so to speak.

Now,time for a 'When I'm alive' post,of the HNK type.For inspiration,check out my inspirations and regular blogs.hehe..not that you need any inspiration to come up with a lively post,of course.hehe.:)Cheers and have a nice day.

Sweetstickychewy said...

*Hugz* Keshi. I am glad i did not wait to long to check up on ya blog.


Coco said...

Hola Keshi : )
I' catching up on your posts...

You're very creative-
i enjoyed reading "poetry" : )
a few made me laugh : )

And now to your present post...
I wish I were there to be a "friend" to you...
I care about you!!
And so do others : )

*there is goodness in this world
(there's more good than bad)

hugs & blessings by friend

Whitesnake said...

You got the heat that would make a dead man rise..........

I see a Rainbow Rising.

Anonymous said...

why such a sad post?

KAYLEE said...

Kaylz wussup? All ok?////

no can i email u? its the cancer area that is killing me :(

Jay said...

We're born, we do some stuff, we die. That about covers it.

Ziah said...

Aww Keshi! You've been on this major blue trip now. Why don't you just sit on a plane and land up in Mumbai... maybe we could paint the town red??? :)

anuj said...

well keshi ..thts a bad bad thing to say ..

take care..n cheer up

Nora said...

Beautiful post.
For the threads and connections and weavings of the every day into some sort of discourse... and for making it accessible.


Jeevan said...

Many in life spend in searching, and lost in people to search them; I like the life you teach us here. This post was poetic; the lonely girl in the song feels worries beautifully!

Known Stranger said...

Hi Keshi...
I hope you are ok...I came back after long time..

the stuff u have written is so true...but depressing stuff,,,
are you ok.
take it easy and god bless you...
Take care

lee said...

There's one thing that I want different when I die compared to when I was born -ain't nobody seeing me in my birthday suit ;) :).

fingers said...

Well you'd better be extra careful on Sundays, Keshi.
We'd hate to lose you...

Andrew said...

Not a suicide note is it Keshi? It is rather good so can I use it when I do the deed?

vitruvian said...

this was extremely depressing...
but beautiful expression.....

Asha said...

Happy Birthday to you on Sunday my darling Keshi.
Every life on this sweet Earth is meant to be and worth living every second. Don't think too much, enjoy and smile at the World everyday. Ups and downs come and go, that is what life is!
Hugs to you. See you next week:))

Neha said...

What was that??So depressing. Good...yes...but depressing :(

Ps said...

Everything ends.Every single thing. BUT--something new always begins!!

willheim said...

hi keisha,

wonderful reflections. thank you..

i love that song and girl in evanescence. we were going to meet at one point and talk about the aesthetic of scoring films. maybe work together, i don't know. hearing the song again, we would be a good fit.

shadows define the light. joys are illuminated by our sorrows, eh?


Joy said...

It's what we experience in life that it is worth living. Life is a roller coaster. We should remember that if good days don't last forever, neither do glommy days. Cheerup, weekend is round the corner and so are the good days.

gunj said...

boy keshi dis u write dat???
was awesome!!
evn though d tone was a lil sad
but i havnt seen a better expression of thoughts!
hats off to u :)

EBEZP said...

That's beautiful Keshi love, so well written it brought tears to my eyes.


Have a great weekend!

*~*Sameera*~* said...

That was so well-written!

Why so sad eh?TC.Hugsss

Cheer up,have a rocking weekend!

the stygian sailor said...

why o why art thou thinketh of death
you got to meet me once (at least
) and then you can think of deaths AND ALL THAT CRAP.
ps:no baby gets tears when it cries at birth

Cinderella. said...'re freakin me out here. That was horrid horrid horrid...!!

AVIANA said...

why are you writing this?

Lord Tennisanyone said...

"To live is to die is to live"
The only thing that matters is what you do in between! This IS it!
This isn't some fancy schmancy dress rehearsal! When your synapses stop firing and your heart stops beating c'est tout finito! Your matter gets recycled and the world moves on.
C'est ça. Auf wiedersehen, Toodaloo, Arrivederci!

"Baby, life's what you make it
Can't escape it
Baby, yesterday's favorite
Don't you hate it
Baby, life's what you make it
Don't backdate it
Baby, life's what you make it
Beauty is naked
Baby, life's what you make it
Celebrate it
Anticipate it
Yesterday's faded
Nothing can change it
Baby, life's what you make it"

Talk Talk

CM-Chap said...

Keshi dear.. why so much depression?

Anjuli said...

hey u okay girl?

Łóòň Ġãĺ said... of those reflective moments?

George said...

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust but in between is the solidity that is our lives as we choose to live it, be it sadly or happily. The Keshi I know and love would not just curl up and give up. No way. You would look death in the eye and kick him in the balls.

Be well, sweetheart

Paul said...

Keshi, to be honest, it sounds a little colorful - "larger than death," so to speak -

Not that I'd know for sure either, of course, not having died - but I'm getting a feel for it. If I'm still alive two years from now, I'll be surprised.

I've also watched two people die up close. I have to say, in both cases it felt like a priviledge - simultaneously inspiring and sad. But not so colorful!

I'm thinking that maybe what makes death have a lot of tedium and ordinariness is that it tends to involve physical discomfort, indignity, and more or less pain.

Gee, that was cheerful...

So I'll close by saying that both people I saw die did so with real courage; and that's the major thing that sticks with me when I think of either of them.

I don't know... maybe people's reactions depend on what they think you were trying to get across in this post - I can see quite a variety of responses, including from that distinguished and mysterious newcomer to the blogosphere, Lord TennisAnyone.

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Hey..Come on..Life does have a purpose..Only thing its kept a suspense,for some its a long wait.Thats all !!And when the purpose gets on to us its just wonderful.Believe me thats the truth..
Now I agree with ZIAH,take the next flight to India and there are quite a few who would love to freak out with you !!And why not ?
Sunday will be yet another beautiful day kid !!(one day you are going to tell me to keep that word off,I guess)
Till Then

tqmcintl said...

Keshi SUXS big time

Jim said...

when i m gone?

nothings gonna change

this old world is gonna keep on turning
your posts will keep on going on and on

some annony mouse will clone u
and keep on posting the shit u do

and when i die .....

Jim said...

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?

When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?

And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?

"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"

I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself

I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her

That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 2]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"

She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"

Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror

These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight

Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 3]
Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Curtains closing and sounds of clapping

Jim said...

When your synapses stop firing and your heart stops beating c'est tout finito! Your matter gets recycled and the world moves on.

in a burial
worms eat into your flesh to recycle it

Jim said...

dust thou art
and into dust thou shall return

dont get pompous

Jim said...

I loved caraf verry much
(and i like to believe she loved me too)

now she has disappeared without a trace

I loved cheesemeister too
(in my weird way)
I used to heckle her a lott
she went private to escape from me

I loved Janice
she died

first there was the shock
then the tears started to flow

and the grief lasted a week or two
now Janice is just a memory

and that memory too is fast fading
I moved on

Jim Dean said...

I wrote my will
wrote my biography

and invited a few close friends to read about my life

I gave the password to my blogs to a very close friend

and told her to carry on posting after i am gone

and not to tell no one that i had died

Jim Dean said...

Everything Must Change

Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone willl change
No one stays the same

The young become the old
Mysteries do unfold
For that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of...

Except, rain comes from the clouds
Sun light up the sky
Hummingbirds do fly

Winter turns to spring
The wounded heart will heal
But never much to soon
But everything must change

The young become the old
Mysteries do unfold
But that's the way that time
Nothing & no one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of...

Except, rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
Hummingbirds do fly

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
Hummingbirds do fly

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
Hummingbirds do fly

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky

anits said...

hi keshi..y so sad post! cheer gal! get to normal happy keshi k?tcare hugzzz

Pri said...

very nicely writte...
but cheer up babes!! why not make the best when we are still here??

theres this quote i particular am quite fond of..actually a dialogue from some movie...
will translate it for u as it is in hindi
"yeh mat socho ki zindagi mein kitne pal hain...yeh socho ki har pal mein kitni zindagi hain"
///dont think about the seconds--(in reference to time)in life...think about the life in each second///

smiles and hugzz :)

tqmcintl said...

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, And we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone.

The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.

I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St. Peter continued, Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:- What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:- How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:- What is God's first name?

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, andsays, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers'

Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?

Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you dohave a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.

How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.'How many seconds in a year?Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve?

Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... ''Hold it,'

interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to giveyou credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name'? 'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'

'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, 'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run Forrest, run.'

Give me a sense of humor, Lord.Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,

To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks.

I would rather live my life as if there is aGod, and die to find out there isn't,

Thanlive my life as if there isn't, and die tofind out there is.

@purV said...

This song for "some" reason reminded me of Epiphany by Staind. Highly recommended!

Margie said...

What's all this?
It's just too sad.
I don't like reading such a sad post before going to bed, but I did.
Going away for the weekend to watch my son play baseball.
Be back on Sunday.
Will email you in the morning before I go.

Love ya, hun!


Margie said...

The world would be too sad without you in it!

Take care and be happy!



Impressionist said...

Hey u alrite?
I have been busy with a few personal problems! so haven been aroun


Nishant Chandgotia said...

Hyea, I doubt you remember me, Havnt been blogging nowadays...I dont remember reading such a depressing post by you anytime earlier...Your ok

Nadine said...

There are no "accidents" in this world regardless of what people may think.

I say you have a good heart...don't give up.

Ghost Particle said...

//A life in vain...a life never understood...a life that was never meant to be. A life lived fighting to be alive...a life lived struggling to be loved...a life lived dying a million times. When I'm gone, it'll be the way I lived. Nothing really changes. To live is to die is to live.//

life is beautiful, life is to be lived fully. but you and me, carry the same dreams of not achieving what we truly want. maybe...
i hope i dont have be alive to see everyone i love die before me.

tqmcintl said...


Indian boy on his first day at school in USA.......... awesome
Here is a true story about a Indian boy on his first day at school in the USA.

It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar
Subramanyam ¡V CS, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand-up:
'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.
'Very good!'

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for
the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'said Chandrashekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its
history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F**k the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded.

Chandrashekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrashekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? S*ck this!'
Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to
the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you
say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Gary Condit
to Chandra Levy, 2001.'

The teacher fainted. .
And as the class gathered around the teacher on
the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're f**ked!'

, ,
And Chandrashekhar said quietly, 'George Bush, Iraq, 2005.'
, ,

Silvara said...

ahhh kesh....

A big hug to you...don't ever have regrets babe - one day we all have to go and if we can say that we are happy with even just one thing then u know...what i don't know :P hehehhe

it was beautiful tho :)

Anonymous said...

whats up Keshi dear....this is such a thoughtful post....depressing yet nicely written...have a wonderful weekend!

Gledwood said...

"Vanity! Vanity! All is Vanity!" saith the teacher...

(& I got that from the Bible!!)


curryegg said...

HOw are you lately keshi?
Hope that you're fine there...
And why you sound so depressing?
Are you facing a problem?

Sorry for didn't get the chance to read you blog recently. Look like I've missed a lot! Trying to pick up.. ;)

curryegg said...

oh ya.. by the way, here's a tag that I wish you can do... You must be looking like a model!

Lena said...

so beautifully written..but why so sad??

tqmcintl said...

I don`t want to achieve immortality through my work.

I want to achieve it through not dying.

More quotes from Woody Allen

Vinesh said...

keshi, i hope those are just lyrics to a song?!

badshah khan said...

Just another tough day ....take it easy.. its gonna be nice bright and sunny tommorow..

Keshi said...

Stepher tnxx hun!

beauty can be found in sadness and sadness can also be found in beauty.


Amy heyy!

My diary-writing is my blog. And I do hv a paper diary too...that is very secretive tho hehe...

U always lift me up Amy...tnxx hun MWAHHHHH!


Keshi said...

Bev ty sweetie!

U always come up with some of the BEST thoughts on my posts.

** The doctor said that death is also side effect of life.

Very interesting way of seeing death WOW! Thats true...death as well as anything else r side-effetcs of LIFE.

I hope ur having a good wknd too.



Shionge I luv ya too! HUGS!


Keshi said...

HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ Amy u r so sweet!


aww Coco I care abt ya too hun. Stay gold n HUGS!


Keshi said...

Stevo tnxx mate!

**You got the heat that would make a dead man rise

really? WOW :)


Ashu some qns cant be answered that easily hun....


Keshi said...

Sorry Amit I missed replying to ya :)

**..I didn't bring anything into this world,I won't be taking anything back from this world

true...thats what I meant by 'nothing really changes' when it comes to Life and Death.

ty so much!


Kaylz God bless ya hun!


Keshi said...

Jay thats so true...


Ziah I wish I cud come see ya...awww....


Keshi said...

Anuj really? :)


Nora ty MWAH!


Keshi said...

ty Jeevan, u always know wut Im saying..HUGS!


KS tnxx n WB!

CUTE baby pic there....


Keshi said...

heyya Lee!

**-ain't nobody seeing me in my birthday suit

LOL I dun mind...mebbe that'd be the only time I cud be naked in public w.o. having to feel guilty abt it ;-)


Fingers awww ty!

Sunday Bloody Sunday? ;-)


Keshi said...

Andrew :)


Vitruvian tnxx!


Keshi said...

Asha tnxx hun HUGGGGGGGGGZ!


Neha :)


Keshi said...

PS well-said hun!

thats wut I meant by 'to live is to die...and to die is to live'...


heyya Willz u know Amy Lee? WOW!

**shadows define the light. joys are illuminated by our sorrows

very true...



Keshi said...

Joy tnxx hun HUGGGGGGGGZ!


tnxx Gunj, yes I wrote this :)


Keshi said...



tnxx Sameera!

Sadness is a big part of my life...some things u all dunno abt hun....


Keshi said...

hey Stygian if we dun meet in this life, mebbe we'd meet in heaven?

**no baby gets tears when it cries at birth

really? WOW didnt know that doc :)


aww Cinderella..


Keshi said...

Lisa some WHYs r hard to answer to hun...



Lord amen n ty! U said it the best.


Keshi said...

Chap :)


Anjuli HUGS!


Keshi said...

Chessy HUGS!


George ty and thats so true.

**You would look death in the eye and kick him in the balls.

hehehe u know me too well ha. I'd be 'late' for my funeral too. Cos I'd be Late Keshi by then anyways ;-)


Keshi said...

hey Paul tnxx for dropping by!

** If I'm still alive two years from now, I'll be surprised

why d u say that? ::HUGS:: I dun want u to go anywhere sir...

Yes...holding the hands of someone abt to cross over gives u immense strength n courage from it all...the experience is irreplaceable.

ty so much for sharing ur distinguished thoughts here!


hey CU tnxx!

Having a purpose is different...either way nothing really changes in Life n Death.

***smiles*** @kid. I like it..I feel like a baby when u say that :)



Keshi said...

TQM I do ha :)


hey Jim!

**nothings gonna change

thats wut I said...nothing changes.


Keshi said...

Jim where is Caraf now?


Jim Dean who is that friend? :)


travistee said...

Life is so pointless, yet so full of points. Who knew?

Keshi said...

hey Anits!

Who/what is the 'normal' Keshi? :)



heyya Pri tnxx swt-hrt!

**think about the life in each second

true..but sometimes every second can be DEATH..not LIFE.


Keshi said...

TQM true..


heyya Apruv!

**Epiphany by Staind

gotta check that out, tnxx!


Keshi said...

aww Margie dun be shaken by my moody posts luv....Im sorry to hv upset ya. HUGGGGGGGGGZ I know u truly luv me!


Impressionist Im ok tnxx!


Keshi said...

Nishant hey WB!

Depressing it may be..but it aint a lie right? :)


tnxx Nadine I know u care abt me. HUGGGGGGGGZ!


Keshi said...

Ghosty thats true....I wish for the same.



TQM :)


Keshi said...

Silvara aww tnxx hun, HUGGGGGGGGGZ I love ya!


Flyingstars tnxx n WC in here :)


Keshi said...

Gledz :) thats human nature tho...

btw I cudnt find ur tag u tagged me on last time...


hey Curry HUGGGGGGGGZ n ty!

**You must be looking like a model!

WOW :) I'll come check it out soon.


Keshi said...

Lena MWAH!





Keshi said...

Vinesh not really...:)


tnxx Badshah HUGS!


Keshi said...

Travistee thats sooo well-said!!


maverick said...

To live is to die is to live.

hmm...interesting...intriguing..welcome aboard a journey called life :)


Zhu said...

Are you feeling down? Just wondering!

I live my life the best I can and don't think about the rest. I'm an airhead when it comes to that. Prob scared too.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Wow. Step 1: Relax, Step 2: Go out and buy yourself some new shoes.

Tys on Ice said...

if u r planning something stupid, i will hve to get my lazy ass to australia and kick ur ass...

and hey, happy birthday...

Mariana Soffer said...

Crazy, I just posted an entry about my dead father, first time I ever wrote about it.
By the way very interesting blog

take care

Miladysa said...

And so the circle is completed but NOT for a very long time yet and lots and lots of LOVE in between.

Life is good Keshi - enjoy :]

M x

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

You are missing your father and that is quite natural.

Such dark thoughts do not augur well for your beloved mother.

She endured 9 months and hours of labour to bring you into the world.
She deserves the best joys of your life in return.

You have no right over your life.

Your life belongs to the Giver of life and He will only listen to your mother over your life and not your death wish.

You can never say how you would die anyway.

Those who perished in air disasters or natural disasters and other accidents must have wished for romantic ways to die, but their tragedies changed all that.

Let me not bore you with the horrors and terrors of my life as a refugee child during one of the worst civil wars in Africa when over a million Nigerians perished and most of them did not die in peace, but in pieces.
My uncle was killed by soldiers and hung on a stick and set ablaze.
We never saw the corpse of my mother's elder brother who was a Captain in the Biafran Army.

I have heaps of corpses in the morgue whilst making sure that the corpse of my mother was well preserved before her burial in 1993.

There is more to life than death and the best way to know the truth is to unravel the mystery of the life, for there is no mystery in death.

Positive thoughts yield positive fruits, but negative thoughts yield corrupt fruits.

Travel to Egypt and gaze at the Lilies of the Nile
For their beauty will make you smile.

Cheers and God bless you more than your relishes and wishes.

Solitaire said...

Sadness is a part of life, I read in one of your comments. is just a part.

Do not make it your whole life.

willheim said...

oof. i don't know amy lee, her manager wants to introduce me to her. she wants to get into film scoring and that's what i do so he thought it would be fun for us to get together at my studio and chit chat informally.

hasn't happened yet.

that's a great band / song / she's super.

azuka said...

Deep! Been a while...

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Awww. This post was so sad, Keshi. It makes me sad to think about losing ya! :(

general_boy said...

Hang in there, Keshi.

( sorry haven't been 'round much the last week... it kinda sucked... catching up slowly :) )

La vida Loca said...

r u ok? this was depressing..

Blessed said...

Hey Kesh!
I am alive even tho you wouldn't really know.
I just wanted to say hi
and hope you are ok.
I am full of anxiety right now.
Since the new year came I don't feel myself. I want this awfulness that I am carrying to go away.
I wish it would die. I hate feeling this way.
Sorry I haven't been around.
I hope to feel inspired once again...

The Grunt said...

As soon as we're born we're dying. So, you might as well do as much living before your time is up.

I was watching a vagrant struggle in the cold and I wondered why, of all people, he felt it was still worth while to carry on living. Then I see in the obituaries a decent looking kid that took his own life. I don't have the answers, but I certainly thought about it.

When I get really down now I ask myself why I fought so hard to overcome cancer. The reason that I came up with is that my life will always have something worth living for--like having a friend in you, Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Mav!


hehe Zhu everyone deals with it differently..and if it works for u, well all's well. HUGGGGGGGGZ!


TOP idea Phos ;-) tnxx!


Keshi said...

aww Tys...

btw it aint my bday this Sunday :)



Mariana WC hun n tnxx!

I read ur GREAT post and commented too. MWAH!




Keshi said...

ty Ori I know u truly care. HUGS!


tnxx Solitaire!

**Do not make it your whole life.

very true...


yes Willz she's got a great voice too...


Keshi said...

Azuka hey WB! :)




heyy Boy :) tnxx mate!


Keshi said...

hey LaVida tnxx hun Im ok :)


Blessed my dear wuts wrong?

**I am alive even tho you wouldn't really know

plz dun say that. HUGGGGGGGGZ! I know ur alive and I CARE.

wuteva it is that ur going thru, Im here for ya hun. ok? I'll be there soon. Chin up. MWAH!


heyy Grunty ur comment brought tears to my eyes...seriously.



Judge Arse said...

Well, we're all dying from the moment we're born. I've studied all this cellular stuff, what happens even starting in our early twenties, the decline of our cells. It is somewhat true that we're alone all our lives even if we're surrounded by people, and that we die alone. Kind of scares the olde Arse sometimes. I try not to think of it too much.

Keshi said...

that's true Judge, tnxx!

But I aint scared of death...there cud be real hunks in heaven ;-)