Monday, March 10

Freedom Arrives In Jail

Hi Guys how was your weekend? Hope it was good. Well guess what, the 71st bday party went very well. Pics will come in the next post or so, cos I really want to share the following true story with you first.

I watched this FANTASTIC (chilling!) movie
PROVOKED (click on link to find out more) on Friday night. It's a very sad yet totally gripping true story of a Punjabi woman named Kiranjit Ahluwalia from London. It is an English movie (very little Hindi with subs) starring Aishwarya Rai, doing a fantastic job with her role as Kiranjit, and Navin Andrews acting as Kiranjit's husband Deepak Ahluwalia. A brief intro to the movie: Kiranjit is a simple, traditional girl from Punjab who is married off to an NRI Deepak Ahluwalia. Post-marriage she moves to London with her husband, and sadly she becomes a victim of domestic violence from Deepak. She becomes a mother of 2 young boys, her husband continues to treat her as if she's nothing, beats her black and blue over the 10yrs they were together, drinks heavily, carries on affairs with other women, comes home and abuses, beats and rapes Kiranjit. Yes the movie had some scenes that had tears of extreme shock and compassion rolling down my face. Which sane woman would go through that kind of treatement from her own husband and that too in the 1980s? For someone like Kiranijit, reputation mattered more than her freedom, so she hid all her problems with Deepak in her 'cultural' attic and pretended nothing was wrong. But one fateful night in May 1989, Kiran is pushed beyond her limits and gets 'provoked' to an extent that Deepak ends up paying the heaviest price ever...she sets him on fire while he was sleeping, and yes he loses his life as a result of severe burns. The rest of Kiran's life of which 3yrs was spent in jail is ironically where she found TRUE FREEDOM. Freedom from a man who wrecked her life and tortured her self worth every single day. The trust she placed on this man when she got married was just a faraway dream...the matrimonial pledges he uttered was a mere mockery. So one day Kiranjit just snapped out of all the lies she was living in and acted upon an emotion that got pushed beyond it's limits...and that emotion was her self-worth. The courtroom scenes are a must-watch with good concentration as this was the case that redefined the legal definition of 'provocation' in the British law. Provoked is the kind of movie that keeps you intrigued and makes you watch it to the end. It's a story of a real woman, a real wife, a real mother and real HOPE. Get and watch it if you can (pics above are scenes from the movie).


This is a pic of real-life Kiranjit and her late husband Deepak Ahluwalia. Those smiles were hiding alot of guilt, pain and suffering. What I'm trying to say is, if you are not being treated as you should be, by anyone out there (be it your husband, wife, partner, friend, colleague, parent etc), please don't try to protect a 'reputation' that'll probably swallow your 'freedom' altogether. Reputation is great yes, but not at the cost of your self-respect, freedom and life. If your conscience is telling you that something is not right, then something is indeed wrong. Status, shame, culture, duties...nothing should limit you as a person and strip your Right to be who you are. Wake up before it's too late. Kiranjit took an extreme step but it doesn't have to end that tragically. Both Kiran and Deepak could have gotten help but perhaps it was not meant to be that way. Sadly her power was limited to take necessary and proper action before it got too drastic. But it doesn't have to be this way for every physically, emotionally or sexually battered woman(/man). If you take necessary actions as it happens and before it goes too far, you can avoid dire consequences and deep regrets. Getting professional help is not a shame...protecting a violent person at the cost of your self-worth is the real shame. If you want to, please read my previous post on Domestic Violence, at Dial Confide Survive. I helped 2 real people after that post and they are doing very well now. Live life the way you want, not the way others or your culture wants you to. Cos others or your culture isnt going to save you when things go totally out of hand. So take prompt and proper action if you or someone else is in an abusive relationship. Don't wait til it's too late to fix anything, like how it was for both Kiranjit and Deepak. (this last pic is of Kiranjit with actress Aishwarya Rai at this movie's premiere in April 2007).

Questions for you:

1.
If you were in Kiranjit's shoes (whether you're a man or a woman) what woul
d you have done at the hands of a violent spouse like Deepak?
2.
In your own opinion (keeping in mind the torture Kiranjit went through and the kind of innocent woman she was), did Kiranjit do the right/wrong thing and why?



And the Flying Kissee of the day is.....

The very beautiful, ever-elegant, sweet and smart babe Cinderella! She's one girl I can't get out of my head...no I'm not turning les :), but this girl is such a brainiac-n-beauty all in one. Every smart Indian woman reminds me of her...every beautiful Hindi song reminds me of her...every gorgeous shalwar reminds me her...every sparkling Jimki earring reminds me of her...every heart-warming smile reminds me of her aura...everyday I think of her beauty and wisdom. She's a strong presence in my life, and although we've never really met, I can feel her strong character, love and genuine friendship across the miles. She's one in a zillion I tell ya...she's hot, she's a darling, she's full of wisdom and tons of oomph, she's just IT. I chose this pic of her's cos I really love her smile and attire in it. It's just so natural and straight from the heart. MWACKKKZ my dear friend, you have just been smooched by Keshi! Dija feel it? ;-). I did this flying kiss photo of mine just yesterday...we were going to the Hindu temple and I thought, wow this is a good outfit to give a flying kiss to my beautiful Indian friend, so I did it hehe. You like it? Well it's especially for ya! I chose this song especially for you too...since you love old Hindi songs and this is also one of my fav fav fav Hindi oldies (and lastly it goes well with this post too)...I hope you like it sweetz. btw I knew this song for a very long time but didn't see the movie until very recently and I watched it on a flight on my way to Sydney from Auckland. And I was crying, much to the cabin crew's amusement :). Enjoy it hun it's your day!

International Women's Day (IWD) is marked on March 8 every year, so HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY to all the ladies here from around the globe!


Current Music: Ay Mere Humsafar from the Hindi movie Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak

143 Cranium Signets:

vEENs said...

Looking fwd to the pics Keshi of the party@!

Provoked -- Not seen it! But heard a lot abt the movie! This adds to the list of MUST watch.


1. tried for divorce. told our parents abt it, try n get max help. But I eally dnt know if he would jus deny a divorce seriously!

2. Kiran was a much simple and traditional girl. It should have taken a lot of immaculate grit and serious provocation that led her to do it. I think she did rigt. But I hav heard that she dint do it with the intend to kill him. It was situational. and that he died was her luck i guess!

I really admire the lady for her post-scenes. Because she stood there and faced it all! For us it would have not been so difficult...but for the women like her; I think it was one of the worst situations in life...with NO ONE to support her cause!

Hats off !

vEENs said...

everr thing is new on RbGb!

I think you dint see 2 new posts ;) yu missed them :)

vEENs said...

Cindy honey! I feel same to same ;) yu have a addictive persona honey! Wat to go girl!

vEENs said...

there is a link jus under the post title!
dnt know hw it went there!

i have been trying to get it dwn... it refuses to cme!

THANKS!

Whitesnake said...

I always had a problem with this sort of thing.

I dont have a reputation so I don't give a f%@k.......Can say that here?

If I did have a reputation it wouldn't be a good one!

I can never understand why women put up with abuse of any kind.
I know a few women from countries such as yours and sometimes I am totally digusted with the way men treat women.
Having said that one must respect others cultures and some women except it as being the norm.

I'll tell you Keshi that sort of thing hurts. It cuts deep cos you have to sit by and just except it.

On the other hand western women seem to have a knack for taking ause to a new level and use it to their advantage.
I am not saying all ....but my experiences have been mostly negative.

I always believe you treat a woman with love and respect and you will always have a woman who is loving and caring......

It seems to me that women have a liking to have the crap beaten out of them or worse still enjoy mental abuse......

For me love......abuse of any kind is not on. ...

As much as i try to be the gentleman.I ain't perfect....difference between me and them???

I know it ain't right, they think it is.


Not That i have EVER abused a woman.

Oh i could go on forever.....

Oh and one more thing... where can i get my ears on some more of that Hindi Music?

Whitesnake said...

You should have had that walking away song by craig david aye?

Miladysa said...

Happy Women's Day to you too Keshi and congratulations to Cinderella!

Dawn....सेहर said...

Looking forward to the party pics as always ;)
About the movie, yes I have seen this movie long back. Its sad that no matter what we preach the status of women in the world is not what they should be deserving. I guess that's why we all demand it and it is so pathetic to do so. But I would say women should seek freedom from her ownself...only then she will be free in real sense.
Happy WOmen's day dear...you are doing the right job to bring that revolution among women :)
Hugzzzz
Cheers

priya said...

Thought provoking post Keshi. No wonder some men are just animals forever unless they see her in his mothers image no affection comes.

Happy womens day Keshi.

Silvara said...

I saw this movie last year and it reduced me to tears....I then read everything I could about the case and it just cemented in my mind what a brave and strong woman Kiranjit was.

So in answer to ur questions - yes and yes.

KAYLEE said...

keshi girl how are you? i am happy to say that i am very good today :)

Sweetstickychewy said...

Watched the show provoked. Thought it was seriously outstanding when i first saw it.

***1. If you were in Kiranjit's shoes (whether you're a man or a woman) what would you have done at the hands of a violent spouse like Deepak?

Kick his balls? ok now seriously. Its hard to say kick his balls when i am not caught up in such a situation. But if was in his situation and he is as possesive as ever. I will try to work it with him to help him. But if he doesn't than i guess the court will receive the order to divorce?

***2. In your own opinion (keeping in mind the torture Kiranjit went through and the kind of innocent woman she was), did Kiranjit do the right/wrong thing and why?

I personally feel that no man has the right to take anyone's life. But than again, when a person has been provoked so much to the point of anger they think not what is right or wrong when emotions take over them. I guess things could be handled in abetter way but yet again its really hard for me to draw a fine line with what she did when i saw how he was brutal to her. Its pretty upsetting i must say.

She was definitey an admirable woman.

Thank Keshi.

cheers.

Solitaire said...

Aaaah! Aamir Khan's song. *Blushing*

In terms of domestic violence, I really have no answers to the questions. In working with many women in these situations, I have realized that many women's personalities change after they are in an abusive cycle. It may be very easy for me to say something at this point and then act completely different in a situation like that. To murder someone is not the "right " thing to do but it is quite understandable what led the wife to take such a step.

Gangsta Markiv said...

Interestingly everyone here are responsible. The free visa to other countries - Marriage, should not be the only criterion for the same. How many women get married like that? It appalls me so much that I wonder if they know the stranger at all before they go to the foreign country . The greed, I would say that. So she was responsible for that dangerous attempt to enter the snake pit.

What the guy did for day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year - Bad. Really bad. But I wonder what the heck what the stupid idiot was doing there inspite of all the issues? Perhaps she was illiterate and scared to come home, what would society think, what would parents do?

What would the society do anyway to this lady now? What would the parents do to the lady now? Nothing would have changed to have come back after 10 years. So I think it is all about prudence and not worry about the fucking society much. They are a bunch of freaks so why bother about them.

In a nut shell, if I were getting into the domestic violence, I would have called it quits. I would have dragged the son of a whore to the court and would have asked for an freakin alimony that would keep the bugger on the streets.

That friend of yours is hot indeed :-]

KAYLEE said...

how r u?

The Phosgene Kid said...

Ha. I warned her that Deepak was no good, but she wouldn't listen, oh no! so now she is in a fix. I am done with her!!!

fingers said...

OK, a little serious-time for a moment.
I find the only thing sadder than the true story here is the film studio’s need to replace the admittedly average-looking Kiranjit Ahluwalia with the stunning Aishwarya Rai.
In the sanctimonious rush to cinematically avenge domestic violence everywhere, what it’s really saying is that it’s much, much worse when it happens to good-looking people.
Typical mainstream garbage…

KAYLEE said...

awwwe sweet comment you just left me keshi girl i would never you :P i am always here sometimes i just dont fel like blogging though! I am sure you understand i am suffering here but it will be okay in the end

KAYLEE said...

sent u an email ok?

wp 2007 said...

Hi Keshi

I've not seen the movie. In fact the last few days I've seen only white. Everywhere there's white.

I'll answer the first question. I would shoot him.

We just had a record-breaking snowfall. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but it sounds like we might have a repeat performance this coming weekend. Now I know why I hate reruns.

Anybody got a shovel. Snow shovels are going for as much as $300.00.

Buried up to my braids—wait a minute, I don’t have braids. Buried up to my pretty little (beep).

Bev

Iceman said...

some ppl deserve to die...
what she did was right...

Knatchbulley Hughzscene said...

i really cannot undrstnd why she stuck on to him for so long. i really sympathise with her.. but.. BUT!!! for wht?? was she so desperate.. all the family ki izzat thing is jus pure nonsense..


if i wr her.. i wud hv either taken a divorse or killed him at d first opp!!

nice post keshi :)

La vida Loca said...

What would I do? Common sense tells me to leave. But in reality I am actually not sure. As women we are conditioned to think in terms of family and pride. I really don't know.

Did she do the right thing? perhps. I cant imagine how much abuse she must have gone through to take such a step. It is ironic going to jail gave her freedom.

desperado said...

Don't know if she did the right thing or not...but i just shudder at the thought the torture would have nearly first killed her which forced her into taking this drastic step...i fell no wrong in killing the man..its just that it might not have been right considering the repercussions she might have had to face..but hats off to the lady

what would have I done....maybe move out of the relation and file a criminal case...but then its really difficult in our society for he woman to do that due to the stigma attached with it...hope it changes

Nadine said...

It's a moving story. I did not see this movie but I've heard of this type of abuse before. In America there was a very similar story of a battered wife who set her husband on fire as he slept. Farrah Fawett starred in it.

I don't know what I would do if I were in her shoes. I think I would have tried the legal options. I would have moved away and started anew. I don't think taking someone's life is every the right thing. I understand when it's self defense. Some might argue that he was asleep how could that be self defense?

All I know that this a tragic story with a tragic ending. I hope that one day she can find healing from the pain and scares left on her - physically and emotionally - so that she can find freedom.

The problem with abuse that goes on for years and is cruel and severe...it never ends well. There is a better way not to let it get to the point where either the woman snap or the abuser kills.

Chriz said...

moving story... thatw as the guy who starred in ks na! and check my latest post..(fyte with my folks).. you myte like it... happy women's day to you keshi....

PREETI said...

havnt seen provoked...guess i gta do tat soon...

iv seen a lotta abuse arnd me...lotta different wayz really n itz crazy...itz absolutely appalling...

i dnt even knw wat i wud do in a situation like that...guess itz really easy to say, i wud walk or out n stuff, but bein in tat situation thr r soooooooooo many anglez to look at, tat one small mistake cud have repercussionz forever...

but yea, i guess eventually i wud walk out...bein educated gives me the leverage to live a life on my own without any man...guess tatz so for most of us out here...n she certianly did the rite thing burnin tat monster...he deserved every bit of it...!

anits said...

hi keshi..wonderful post ya?!

1. myself i will give him chance ...if still too much like tis i wil try for divorce.

2. 100% what she did is right. Women should be respected!

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!

tcare dear

Ghost Particle said...

What happened to her is a vile attempt by a person who is ignorant of another persons dignity and life. The bigger mistake is of the society for not realizing this, and of the parents who loves to marry of daughters to the next rich guy the find.
1. If you were in Kiranjit's shoes...
When all else fails, take the punishment of God and administer it yourself. Even god doesn't kill, but we are only the Children of God, so if hurt, we repay. God will forgive.

2. In your own opinion (keeping in mind the torture Kiranjit went through and the kind of innocent woman she was), did Kiranjit do the right/wrong thing and why?
Yes she did, because beyond the moral compass of the society lies territories of dark human nature, no one knows, no one will know. But when it comes to light, the world will cry. even when its too late, the world would ONLY know how to cry.

Cindy...my sister from a faraway land. She is loved, and admired.

Jeevan said...

"So one day Kiranjit just snapped out of all the lies she was living in and acted upon an emotion that got pushed beyond it's limits...." that could be imaginable.

On those time we should concern on confident and the extreme to get relief from suffer. No need to care about society or culture, when our life is at risk, and for whom we are going to save them when it was not useful for us.

Cinderella deserves your kiss... she is so sweet and recently only I get to read her lovely writin.

Andrew said...

The movie sounds good Keshi. I remember your domestic violence post at the time and wondered what happened. I assume all is well now.

Somya Publications said...

Hi Keshi!

I have not watched this movie though I wanted to. Now, after reading this post I am going to watch it asap.
The peek you have given us in the story somehow reminds me of the fiction story (My Life-story) I have written. [Pls, this is not a promo of any kind]
I will answer the questions you have asked in red but before that I need to write something about the part before it...

Which sane woman would go through that kind of treatment from her own husband and that too in the 1980s?
The lead character in my story goes through something similar, only because she loves that person. Sounds strange, I know but who said it was real story?
My stories are fictions, which are not totally fictitious, they have a message in them.

Back to your post n that part in italic. It is an individual thing to do. No person is similar. We can resemble someone in character but cannot really be "like" that person. A lot depends on situation too. Being so far from home [country] that was what she could think of doing. But in the end, all the built up frustration did force her to take the step she finally took.

Now, about the red part

1. This is difficult to answer. Instinctively, I would have walked out of his life. Divorce or no divorce! But again, stepping into her shoes, being away from my country, taking decision on my own would have been very difficult. I would have put my trust in someone.

2. Yes, she did the right thing. The volcano was bound to erupt. Agreed that she did not take the legal step of separation but you cannot really say anything unless and until you really go through all that mess she went through.
Some people deserve what Deepak got.



GBU
Arti

Arti Honrao said...

Hey!

Sorry, I was logged into another id when I posted that comment.


GBU
Arti

Ps said...

Yes I had closely followed 'provoked' when it was released in india, sometime back. I guess each person knows what is right and wrong for them and each person's endurance levels are different.Who are we to sit in judgement--when we can only imagine the horrors that Kiranjit went through.It is the societal and parental conditioning that has to change.

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi-good to see the party went off nicely.

Thanks for a nice review-of Provoked.Quite shocking,the story,and difficult to believe that such things happen in this day and age,but then,I guess,it Does happen.I think,where NRIs-who-come-to-India-and-take-back-a-bride,especially.They grow up in a free environment,think accordingly,and,come to India to be get married traditionally. What surprises me is that the parents of the girl,don't even do a thorough check on the guy they're trusting their daughter to!Why?

Happy Women's Day!(belated)

Ravi said...

Provoked is one hardcore thought-provoking movie.

I still remember, last year when I watched this movie, I was quite moved by the intensity of Aishwarya's character.

And hey! Your friend is cute...I love her dimples :)

Take care, buddy!

Kalpana said...

Hi Keshi,
First, my wishes,
Happy Women's Day!!!

Provoked, watched this movie long time back. I am happy that she did the right thing or the situations went that way for what ever she faced. It happened for her good.

Questions for you:
Will try to answer them....... :)

1. If you were in Kiranjit's shoes (whether you're a man or a woman) what would you have done at the hands of a violent spouse like Deepak?
Just do the same thing whatever He did by making him know the meaning of violence. If he does not realize or still acts, then will just leave and move on with my life by filing a case against him so he will not repeat the same again with any other woman.

2. In your own opinion (keeping in mind the torture Kiranjit went through and the kind of innocent woman she was), did Kiranjit do the right/wrong thing and why?
Till when can any person bear the torture? There is some limit. She did the right thing and it is for her welfare along with her kids too. Else, later the kids might move on their father's steps (and even loose respect for woman), doing the same thing with a woman.
Mainly, self respect is very important for any person. If not, there is no point in living/leading life.....

Trinnie said...

hiya keshi!

i really liked wat you said about self worth and freedom and this post has come at a right time. i have been thinking on similar lines lately... one of your best posts according to me.

i did read your comment on my blog - im sorry im replying this late over here. preliminary exams are on and its a different story that i don't feel like studying... :-S i did do that magmypic fun thingy... though i think im better off off those famous magazine covers... i looked funny! lol!

i had a weird dream last nite btw. and you were in it. and it was weird cause i was swimming thru the bay of Bengal; to come meet you... and the bay of Bengal and India and New Zealand (yes, u lived in NZ in my dream) were as small as they appear on textbook pages and i took a rope and came swimming. and the weirdest part was that NZ had actually shifted from below Australia near the state of Bengal in the Bay of Bengal and somehow Bhutan, Nepal and Burma had all disappeared. I mean it was so weird that i was actually poring through a geography book, looking at the map and suddenly i dived in...
phew! u may not believe this but it really roused me from my lethargy and made me tell you this by making me come here after so looong!!

im still grinning! good lord!

take care, keshi!
Love and hugs! :D

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Too bad, we can't see that movie here in the Philippines. Congratulations to Cinderella. She really deserves that award. She's not only very beautiful but very witty and intelligent as well. Thanks for the post. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Cinderella. said...

Kesh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweety - honey - Babe - the cadbury fuit & nut - My daily saccharine !!!!!!

You just how make my day, you adorable creature.

I'm singing the song too...one of my faves !!

And you know yesterday night I was thinking of posting a similar post, naah, not similar to 'provoked' but similar to the second part...he he !! I'll put it up soon. Some telepathy !!!!!

***muaah girl (make it a french one this time, for I wont mind, and you know n I know we both stand straight...he he !!!)***

And thankyou Veens, bhai & jeevan for such kind words !!

Ok, enough of blushin & gushin, and i wanna talk about the post now.

I so wanted to watch the movie last year, but still havent been able to. Though I dont like Aishwarya much, but that doesnt mean I undermine her acting prowess. I hafta catch it one of these days.
**I wonder what she saw in that yucky Vivek Oberoi**

Now, the questions,

a. Murdering him, was the last resort she took, which could have been avoided if she would have been in a place to go to the law. So I'll go the the law first. But yes, like Gp said, when all else fails, the retribution has to come from you, you owe it to yourself.

b. I totally second her, with what she did. If there would have been an alternate way, she would have tried it, and ofcourse she must have thought about it, all through the 10 years she was being tortured to the edges of insanity.
You know, I fear my instincts sometimes, coz had i been in her place I wouild have made the whoe act much more saddistic, just to compensate all the horror that despicable creep made me go through.

An amazing post, babe, like always. I love your kinderd spirit to bits. i know i've said that before, but so what, we never get enough do we ??!!

**smooch**

Cinderella. said...

And I'm gonna link this post to my blog...thankyou so much sweetheart !!

Ziah said...

Firstly woman - Happy Women's Day!!! :)

@Provoked - didn't watch it. yet.. but caught the trailers... brrr... scary!!:(

1. What if I were Kiran? I would definitely take the guy to court. Being raped and beaten within the four walls of your marriage is disgusting! I would pack my bags, go reach the first social organization that supports abused women, then file a case. And even try get the guy arrested beforehand. Also, I'd choose to walk out on a day I have visible proof, like bruises, scars etc. But thats just me. I cant take shit. :(:(

2. Did she do the right thing? I don't know. Sometimes, things like this are blurred by zones of grey. He burnt her and killed her a thousand times over each time he struck her or dropped his pants. And she just set him on fire. :(

I recollect your earlier post on domestic violence. Good one that was!:) Keep up such good work keshikins:) And stay in touch. I'd like to get to know you better:)

KP! said...

really sad story...will have to watch the movie....

Oh man....I would go for divorce...if not possible then go for legal action against him/her.

Its sad man....we are from the place where gandhji is from(one should always walk on non-violence path to any issue....:)).

I always beleive in this....

You can Raise you voice(to express your view). Never Raise you hand (the moment u raise your hand....I guess u loose the battle.)

Gledwood said...

Hi Keshi!
Talking of freedom and jail... have you ever seen that film The Bandit Queen? What a fantastic viewing... me and my friend had a giant row about that one... whether or not it was a real Indian film or not... my view was it was of course made in and by Indians but for a foreign audience as no way did it fit the massmarket Bollywood package a billion or more Indian filmgoers expected!
2nd: did you hear about that case of the late-teenage girl in Goa washed up on a beach. Parents insist it was murder. A second (locally conducted) autopsy reveals yes most probably. FINALLY 2 or 3 bastard suspects (I sincerely hope not innocent but circumstantially suspicious) men arrested. I hope they did get the bastards who did this... I was in Goa some years back and some female tourists had gone missing my girlf seriously didn't seem to realize the potential danger she could have been in...
3: maybe point three will come back to me... o man what was it...

anyway I wanted to say hi back to you and thanks for your message at mine...

we did NOT get cycloned out (as I suspected it was NOT a cyclone anyway we don't get that kind of tropical storm this far north!)...

great stuff anyhow!

take it easy

;->...

G
xx

Asha said...

Great post in support for IWD Kesh. My heart goes to her, glad she is okay now.
You will be surprised how many educated Indian women(acc to latest survey) get abused and will not take action at all even today!
I personally knew one wife in India with broken, bent and untreated fingers as a result of her husband's beatings and she never told or went for treatment ever just in case they arrest the husband! As a teenager, that put me off all these romantic ideas of marriage forever!!

Bla said...

Aishwarya Rai is a very beautiful woman.

Macadamia The Nut said...

Lovely post! This message has to spread - that domestic violence is not some birthright that has to be endured.

As for your questions...
1. If you were in Kiranjit's shoes (whether you're a man or a woman) what would you have done at the hands of a violent spouse like Deepak?
I'm a strong person. If I were in her shoes I wouldn't have waited for the kids and years of growing abuse. I would have got out of the marriage no matter what the socalled society thought of it. But then again, that's just me. Who knows what Kiran's circumstances were... all I know is that I will never let any human being take away my dignity and pride as a woman.

2. In your own opinion (keeping in mind the torture Kiranjit went through and the kind of innocent woman she was), did Kiranjit do the right/wrong thing and why?
I don't think anyone has the right to kill - provoked or otherwise. She should have got out of this mess without waiting for the last straw to break her back.

Moreover, death is too quick and too easy for people like her husband. He should have been made to pay for his actions.

Personally I'd rather do away with his balls than his life. That would leave a lasting...err... impression :D

gunj said...

waow...dat was a real nice post and an awesome review too!!
all i can say is that if uve given ur best...u dnt deserve to b illtreated....n jus in case u cant change pplz attitudes...u sure can leave thm...for your good and their own as well!
if i look at it from kiran'z perspective id say....for so many ladies in india who hav to live with so many pressures in life...atleast she did a brave thing....rather than having herself killed like so many women still do in our country...atleast she did not choose death for herself!!

shooting star said...

i had followed kiranjit's story when it was in the courts!!...
if only she would have provoked a bit earlier!!...and it doesnt have to be some one you know only from matrimonial ads!!
i recently read first hand account of one of india' best models ..alicia raut..who left her job and country to be with the love of her life... a russian guy..she left everything and married and settled down in russia...and shockingly then followed the story of abuse and domestic violence... she suffered for four years in which she gave also birth to a baby.....her provoking point came when her husband tried to beat up her baby..she left him..got a divorce and is now back in india....
the lessons that should be learnt from this....as you have already said....self-respect is the most important thing in this world
as a married woman myself...i would never sit and take in any kind of abuse verbal or physical just to preserve family honour or pride...theres no pride more important that self pride..
what would i have done if i was in kiranjit's shoes....burnt the asshole alive much much sooner...what did kiranjit do wrong...nothing!!!

Alok said...

I did watch this movie sometime back (the video I think is still available at Google videos) and I feel Kiranjit did wht she had to do ... there is never a right or wrong Keshi (and I think I did say this a couple of times before). Right and wrong are very relative term .... The people I love Keshi, I will love them irrespective of whthr they love me or not... I loose a sense of negotiation in love and for Kiranjit whether it was love or not I can't say but then there was her insecurity, family prestige and et al ... I think she did what she had to do


And congrats to Cinderella ..

Cheers

Alok

The Grunt said...

No one should have to put up with abuse of any kind. Sounds like a compelling movie.

Pri said...

well frankly speaking, i guess its very easy to say something ewhen u rnt in that particular situation...
we all know only the person wearing the shoe feels the bite...
i would have simply walked out of the marriage the very first time he inflicted torture...and i would make sure he is dragged to court and jail thereafter...

i think kiranjit shouldent have taken the law in her hands..but then considering she was provoked to do so, it can again be taken as a measure of self-defence...and as i said before,it is very difficult to take a balanced step when u r facing sucha tough situation...who knows had we actually been there, maybe we might have done something similar...

Pavi!!!! said...

I have to see the movie provoked. Heard lots about it.

n i can't do total justice in my answers to ur Qs..coz its different when one assumes oneself in a situation and when one is actually in that situation!(God Forbid!). I would want to walk out of that life at a v.v.v early stage, but i donno how easy it is to do that.

n was her final action justified : Well, she din't have alternatives. Guess she has waited toooooooo long to be able to do anything else!

AVIANA said...

Hey chicki..

If I was put in that position, honestly I don't know what I would do....

No one knows what they would do in those situations. People may say they will fight back or they may cower but you never know until that moment. Whatever you choose for the most part does not make you any less of a person..

I would love to say I would fight back but I don't know until I am faced with that fist in my face or the threat of death or whatever else...

....

oh...so what about me?!!! you don't have a crush on me? huh?


:)

krystyna said...

Hi Keshi!

"He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."
--Matthew 26:52

In my country this kind of man is name "lady's boxer". It is very shame for him.
If you want to know about man, first look at his family. How he deals his wife and kids.
Not as he looks like or how well-spoken and rich he is.

What I will do in her shoes? I don't know, maybe the same.
Aggression makes aggression. It was not her intention.
Hey, women be smart and brave!!!
I like what Sweetstickychewe said: Kick his balls?
(truly, I'm not aggressive).
I mean - don't be scared, don't show him that you scared!
Defend yourself!

They said that woman is the worse creature than man, because she is made with man's rib.
So, really? I think that she must be rather better creature than man, if she is made from such good man.
And I ask - How bad and stupid is owner of this rib?
Man who respect his wife is the smart and good man. And his wife (from his perfect rib)is smart, happy and love him forever.

Thanks, Keshi for this great job for women!

KAYLEE said...

how are you my sweet keshi? I am worried abt you!

Keshi said...

hey Veenz ur FIRST! :)


**divorce

yes thats a sensible approach to it.

But I still dunno wut I'd do in a situation like this...cos when an emotion gets pushed beyond it's limits, even sane ppl like u and me can lose all sense and do things that we've never imagined we'd do. I think thats what happend to Kiranjit, sadly.


**But I hav heard that she dint do it with the intend to kill him. It was situational

not really..she poured kerosene over her sleeping husband's legs and dropped the candle she was holding. Towards the end of the movie, she admits she killed him. Ofcourse she may not hv imagined he'd die, but he did.


ty Veenz and stay tuned to see who else is quite addictive to me ;-) HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Veenz I cudnt comment on that blog of ur's..I can comment only if I select one post at a time thru the archives. So I did last nite :)

tnxx!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Stevo!

**I dont have a reputation so I don't give a f%@k.......Can say that here?

ofcourse u can! ur in a blog where the F word is a therapeutic word for the author :) so go on, no worries at all hehe.

yes, Reputation my ass! If anyone ever really valued their reputation, they'd only be proud of being themselves. And thats how it should be.



**I can never understand why women put up with abuse of any kind.

yes thats another interesting side to this problem. some women PROTECT these violent men in a bid to preserve their marriage. In that process they dont realise there's really NO marriage in an abusive r'ship!



**Not That i have EVER abused a woman.

Im glad :)


Hindi music...well go to Youtube..

tnxx mate!



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Stevo yes thats a nice song by Craig David!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Milady!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Dawny darl!


** I guess that's why we all demand it and it is so pathetic to do so.

yes its kinda humiliating to ask for it. It should be given w.o. having to ask.


**But I would say women should seek freedom from her ownself...only then she will be free in real sense.

So true! Women should never protect a violent man in the name of culture and family! Thats the biggest shame. fight for ur rights.


HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Priya!

** No wonder some men are just animals forever unless they see her in his mothers image no affection comes.

yes and some men dun even respect their mums.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Silvara sweetz!

**I then read everything I could about the case and it just cemented in my mind what a brave and strong woman Kiranjit was.

ur so like me. Such stories affect me alot. I feel this woman's pain n suffering.


ty for ur answers...brave gal!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylz Im so glad to hv ya bak!

Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

WELL I am glad that you glad to have me bak cause i am glad to be back!

Keshi said...

tnxx Amy!


** I will try to work it with him to help him. But if he doesn't than i guess the court will receive the order to divorce?

this is the most sensible way to approach this issue.

But I wonder if we'd remain 'sensible' in a situation like this..being tortured for 10yrs and pushed beyond the 'limits'. wut I mean is even women like u and me CAN change into being ruthless murderers under serious provocation. This the fact that made Kiranjit win her case after 3yrs of imprisonment. PROVOCATION.



**I personally feel that no man has the right to take anyone's life

yes thats what I think too. No one has the right to take another's life.


ty Amy n HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Solitair tnxx hun!


**I have realized that many women's personalities change after they are in an abusive cycle. It may be very easy for me to say something at this point and then act completely different in a situation like that

I agree 100%. We never know wut wud happen to us under serious provocation.


Well-said girl!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Vikz nice new ID n all :)

*does the African American hand gestures at Vik*

LOL!



**It appalls me so much that I wonder if they know the stranger at all before they go to the foreign country . The greed, I would say that.

true. I agree that some women r greedy and get married for the Visa n all. But didnt Deepak get married to her too? Wasnt it his choice too to get married to a woman from Punjab? Why did he, an NRI, go and get married to an innocent girl all the way in Punjab? He cud hv gotten married to a British Indian right? So why didnt he do that?

I guess alot of Indian men living overseas go home to get married to an innocent virgin. And thats where things can go wrong..cos personalities and lifestyles begin to clash. So it's really both the man and woman's fault. MARRY SOMEONE THAT SUITS YOU, not what suits ur CULTURE.

:)


** I would have dragged the son of a whore to the court and would have asked for an freakin alimony that would keep the bugger on the streets.

LOL I like that one. Way to go!


tnxx Vikzz!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hehe Phos...

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Fingers tnxx mate!


**sadder than the true story here is the film studio’s need to replace the admittedly average-looking Kiranjit Ahluwalia with the stunning Aishwarya Rai.

well I really didnt notice Aish's beauty all that much cos the story was far more gripping :) I guess it all depends on the individual viewer. Aish can act pretty good...so she must hv been chosen for the role. Its not like Aish is a bimbo actress..so I think she really fit the role and did very well too.



**what it’s really saying is that it’s much, much worse when it happens to good-looking people.

somehow I didnt think so Fingers. Cos even after looking at real-life Kiran's photos, I still felt the same pain for her..even more.


tnxx!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylz u get better now ok MWAH!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

LOL Bev I hope ur not buried under snow...TC girl!


**I would shoot him.

I knew u'd say that :)

tnxx hun!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Iceman ur right..but death was so much more easier for him. I somehow think that if he was left with life-long scars, he'd hv suffered more and felt the consequences of his own actions.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Knatch!


**i really cannot undrstnd why she stuck on to him for so long

yes even I cant u'stand that. But we r so different from Kiran..our upbringing was far more liberal than her's. So I can sort of realise why she held back for 10yrs...family pride, reputation and shame.


so u'd kill him? wow :)

tnxx hun!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty LaVida!

yes, for Indian/Sri Lankan women, family pride and reputation is far more imp than freedom. that is actually a menace.


** cant imagine how much abuse she must have gone through to take such a step.

yes! he even puts a hot iron close to her face and abuses her for few mins. Just imagine the terror!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Dhruv!

Yes she'd hv been emotionally dead b4 she took that drastic step.


**maybe move out of the relation and file a criminal case...

the sensible thing to do...


**but then its really difficult in our society for he woman to do that due to the stigma attached with it

yes..it's a war between family pride and freedom.


ty D! :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Nadine ty sweetz!


**In America there was a very similar story of a battered wife who set her husband on fire as he slept. Farrah Fawett starred in it.

really? WOW can u tell me wut the movie was? I wanna see it.



** I don't think taking someone's life is every the right thing. I understand when it's self defense. Some might argue that he was asleep how could that be self defense?

yes ur right..thats why Kiranjit lost her case the first time ard and ended up in jail for 3yrs. Later on she was put on re-trial based on PROVOCATION. That's when she won and got out of jail. And that case changed the BRITISH LAW on Battered Woman Syndrome.



**I hope that one day she can find healing from the pain and scares left on her - physically and emotionally - so that she can find freedom.

yes I hope so too. She may hv gotten freedom from jail, but Im sure she lives with the trauma every single day...even now. The scars that remain from such a serious experience is beyond anyone's imagination.




Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Chriz! :)

**thatw as the guy who starred in ks na!

KS means?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Preeti!

**iv seen a lotta abuse arnd me...lotta different wayz really n itz crazy...itz absolutely appalling...

d u still see it? If so, u should get help for those ppl Preeti.


**tat one small mistake cud have repercussionz forever...

true...


**bein educated gives me the leverage to live a life on my own without any man...

yes...the stigma attached with an Indian woman walking out of marriage should be removed. There's no shame in walking out of a violent r'ship..the real shame is staying in such a r'ship.


HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

u said it the best Anits, Women(and men) should be RESPECTED. Respect is earned, and can never be forced.

tnxx hun!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Ghosty tnxx mate!

**The bigger mistake is of the society for not realizing this, and of the parents who loves to marry of daughters to the next rich guy the find.

true...it's such a shame isnt it!


**When all else fails, take the punishment of God and administer it yourself. Even god doesn't kill, but we are only the Children of God, so if hurt, we repay. God will forgive.

Very interesting answer Ghosty!



**When all else fails, take the punishment of God and administer it yourself. Even god doesn't kill, but we are only the Children of God, so if hurt, we repay. God will forgive.

yes so true! U r so full of wisdom Ghosty.

HUGS n TY!

yes Cinderella is BRILLIANT isnt she!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Jeevan tnxx!

** No need to care about society or culture, when our life is at risk, and for whom we are going to save them when it was not useful for us.

yes so true! Very well-said Jeevan. Who do we save the CULTURE for, when it cant even save us!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Andrew!

yes both the girls r doing ok now. They didnt separate from their partners, but they all got help..after that post :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Arti tnxx hun!


**The lead character in my story goes through something similar, only because she loves that person.

I can u'stand that, altho Im not a battered woman :) Cos I hv read abt such women...women who love their men who beat them. Its an emotional need that never sees right/wrong. Women who r abused fall for the same kind of men too. Sadly it'll keep happening until they get real help.



**It is an individual thing to do. No person is similar. We can resemble someone in character but cannot really be "like" that person.

very well-said girl! Love ur answer.



**I would have put my trust in someone.

very good FIRST step towards solving it.


**volcano was bound to erupt

yes! It just HAD to. Sadly there was no other way.



**Some people deserve what Deepak got.

sadly yes...I mean it was too late for him to get help too. he moulded his own fate.


ty Arti u r brilliant!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty PS!


**I guess each person knows what is right and wrong for them and each person's endurance levels are different.

very true! no 2 ppl can be compared in a situation like this.



**It is the societal and parental conditioning that has to change.

Spot on!


tnxx hun!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty AmitL!


**I think,where NRIs-who-come-to-India-and-take-back-a-bride,especially.

yes! its like they want all the freedom living in London or Sydney, but when it comes to marriage, they want a domesticale young virgin. Shameless men!


And the parents of the girls, yes, they need to WAKE UP too!


Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

Kaylz u get better now ok MWAH!//

i will try i havent eaten in 3 days :( I am so depressed here in the hospital :(

Keshi said...

ty Ravi!


**I love her dimples

oyeah arent they VERY CUTE! :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Kalpz tnxx hun!


**Just do the same thing whatever He did by making him know the meaning of violence.

u mean u'll abuse him too?



**Till when can any person bear the torture? There is some limit.

Very well-said Kalpz! This is what her re-trail highlighted. PROVOCATION. And thats how she won the case.



**Else, later the kids might move on their father's steps (and even loose respect for woman), doing the same thing with a woman.

true..I really felt VERY SAD for the 2 young boys, clinging on to Kranjit's shawl on her way to teh Police...at that scene I cried so much. Why do some bastard men become fathers of innocent kids!



**Mainly, self respect is very important for any person. If not, there is no point in living/leading life.....

SO TRUE!


ty n HUGS! I hv tears in my eyes now...:)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Trinnie so good to see ya after a long time HUGGGGGGGGGGZ! So exams n all ha :) good on ya, study well hun. Im sure u'd do well.


WOW wut a nice dream hehehe...very cute one :) So Im in NZ ha..well I go there often on holz anyways :):)

Lovely to read ur sweet dream. HUGS hun!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Mel, Im sure Cinderella wud appreciate that alot.

HUGS and God bless!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Cinderella mere jaan aap kya hai? LOL I know its all wrong Hindi! I was missing ya here
yday...:):)


**the cadbury fuit & nut - My daily saccharine

awwwww thats such a sweet thing to say mah cupcake :)


Im glad u like the song...


u hv a Flying Kiss section in ur blog? WOW gotta see that!


****I wonder what she saw in that yucky Vivek Oberoi**

lol! And Salman Khan..I dun like him eeeks!



**But yes, like Gp said, when all else fails, the retribution has to come from you, you owe it to yourself.

true...I really like GP's answers. SO REAL.



**You know, I fear my instincts sometimes, coz had i been in her place I wouild have made the whoe act much more saddistic, just to compensate all the horror that despicable creep made me go through

yes me too...I mean u never know wut we'd become under serious provocation. there r deep DARK emotions in all of us waiting only to tapped...tapped by some jerk like Deepak.


tnxx n SMOOOOOOOOOOOCH hunny babez! :)



Keshi.

Keshi said...

Cinderella yes u can link this post hun :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Ziah tnxx beautiful!


**Also, I'd choose to walk out on a day I have visible proof, like bruises, scars

lol ur a very smart woman. I'd do that too. Kiranjit had very visible scars on the day she killed her husband. Those scars helped her big time to get out of jail, even after 3 yrs in there. So yes, u used ur head very well hun.




**He burnt her and killed her a thousand times over each time he struck her or dropped his pants.

Spot on! She died a million deaths living with him and Deepak died JUST ONCE. it was too easy for him. I really think he should hv lived n suffered in jail.


ty sweetz n HUGS!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey KP tnxx!

**You can Raise you voice(to express your view). Never Raise you hand (the moment u raise your hand....I guess u loose the battle

well-said mate! the moment u get PHYSICAL, u become an animal.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Gledz tnxx!


**The Bandit Queen?

nope..sounds like a must-watch.


** the late-teenage girl in Goa

nope..sounds very very sad.



**#3

?? :) LOL!


Im glad ur safe Gledz...tc n ty!


Keshi.

Steph said...

I've been there and i too spent many a night imagining inflicting the worst pain I could on that arsehole!

People say, "Just leave" but it's not as easy as that when you fear for your life and your own self esteem is shot to pieces. I can only imagine how much harder it is for women who feel powerless from the very beginning.
I'll have to check this movie out.

Keshi said...

Asha hey tnxx hun MWAH! Ur a wonderful woman in MANY MANY ways!


**I personally knew one wife in India with broken, bent and untreated fingers as a result of her husband's beatings and she never told or went for treatment ever just in case they arrest the husband!

yuiiikkkz u serious? didnt anyone else get her help either? this is VERY SAD. but coming from a Sri Lankan family, I know such ppl in my own family too...women who beaten by their men but are all 'hush' abt it. Its a shame actually.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes she is VERY beautiful Bla :) She was also Miss.World in 1994 I think. Besides she's abt 35 now..just look at her, really looking GREAT.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Macademia WC n tnxx!

**that domestic violence is not some birthright that has to be endured.

So true! Some women somehow think that it's NORMAL to be abused by a man. Its so sad!


** would have got out of the marriage no matter what the socalled society thought of it...all I know is that I will never let any human being take away my dignity and pride as a woman.

Very well-said! Im so proud of you girl. proud to be a woman too cos of great women like u!


And I agree with ya...killing someone is not our right. But Im sure PROVOCATION played a big part in her actions. Its very hard for ppl like us to put ourselves in her position..Cos we really hvnt been in her shoes.


**Personally I'd rather do away with his balls than his life.

lol yes...I'd cut em off so he can never hv SEX again.


tnxx hun n HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Gunj!


**all i can say is that if uve given ur best...u dnt deserve to b illtreated

true..if she's being a good wife n mother, just why the hell is he treating her like that!


**suicide

yes I know alot of women kill themselves in India cos of bastards like Deepak. Thats what Kiranjit's story is DIFFERENT and speaks VOLUMES.

ty sweetie!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sushmita!

Abt that model..Im glad she got help and came home! GOD BLESS!

**self-respect is the most important thing in this world

so true..alot of abused women dont realise that cos they r blinded by a LOVE that dun exist. SAD state of affairs!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Alok!


**there is never a right or wrong Keshi (and I think I did say this a couple of times before). Right and wrong are very relative term .... The people I love Keshi, I will love them irrespective of whthr they love me or not


I admire that abt ya Alok but for me, there's RIGHT n WRONG in my life. :) Cos if there's no right and wrong, how d u define Deepak's actions on Kiran?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

thats right Grunty, tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Pri tnxx hun!

**i guess its very easy to say something ewhen u rnt in that particular situation...

yes definitely!


**I would have simply walked out of the marriage the very first time he inflicted torture

me too..once a dog, always a dog. Im not gonna hve HOPE in a jerk. ppl dont CHANGE.


yes, if provoked beyond limits, even I might change into a murderer..who knows.

tnxx hun!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Pavi!

**coz its different when one assumes oneself in a situation and when one is actually in that situation

well-said!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

heyy Lisa HUGS!

**I would love to say I would fight back but I don't know until I am faced with that fist in my face or the threat of death or whatever else...

true...


**crush

o cmon I do! it's just that I can only hv one crushee at a time in each post LOL! HUGS I luv ya sweetz! just wait for ur turn ok :) And this is not in any particular order..all randomly chosen.

:)
Keshi.

general_boy said...

wow... sounds like it's a flick worth seeing. For a sec I thought that was Priyanka Chopra... and I got rather excited!

BTW... new rental property is here:
http://yourtimestartsnow.blackboardsky.com/

:)

Keshi said...

hey Krys MWAH beautiful woman!


**"He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."

yes! We hv the same quote in Buddhism...those who take up arms, die from arms.

Deepak lived a violent life, inflicting wounds upon another humanbeing...so that same Karma returned on him.



**If you want to know about man, first look at his family. How he deals his wife and kids.
Not as he looks like or how well-spoken and rich he is.

so true!



**Aggression makes aggression. It was not her intention.

very well-said!


yes, like Amy said, I'd not only kick his balls, I'd cut em off..including the penis. Sorry no discounts there LOL!


** I think that she must be rather better creature than man, if she is made from such good man.

haha well-said Krys!


MWAHHHHHHH!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Kaylz Im ok hun, now why r u worried abt me? :)

HUGS!

Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

I dont know you just seem very down these days :(

my mom is annoying me again ugh!

Keshi said...

Stepher its so very hard to imagine someone so sweet and lovable as u going thru that! HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ luv! I wish I was there to help u out. I really do.


**People say, "Just leave" but it's not as easy as that when you fear for your life and your own self esteem is shot to pieces..

so true! Its not SO EASY as it sounds. There r so many emotions fighting with each other and u wundt know which one is the right thing to act upon.


Im so glad u got help and u r safe now. God bless ya hun!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Boy so glad to see u here after a long time. Missed ya.


**Priyanka Chopra

u like her? :)


tnxx for the invitation..will be there in jiffy!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylz Im glad that ur glad that Im glad abt u being bak. LOL HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylz tnxx!

Being down is a part of me Kaylz...I just move on somehow :)

HUGS!

Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

well that is gook keshi you dont know how much I like you loL!!!!!!!!!

Keshi said...

lol nah Kaylz I dunno how much u like me...temme, HOW MUCH? :)

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! I love ya too hun!

Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

more than my gooddamn mother thats for sure!!!!! did you get my email today?

BUMBLE!!! said...

CUrious if Blockbuster online would even carry that.

That said, I'm getting ready to settle into a Star Wars marathon, so I won't be watching much new (save No Country for Old Men) for the next little while.

Have a great week oh kissing bandit that thou ist.

Sweetstickychewy said...

***But I wonder if we'd remain 'sensible' in a situation like this..being tortured for 10yrs and pushed beyond the 'limits'. wut I mean is even women like u and me CAN change into being ruthless murderers under serious provocation.

Agree. Its hard to say when we are not caught up in such a situation.

:)

vEENs said...

Yeah...first time first! See I am such a sweet heart hehehehe!

You r right Keshi, simple things in life, when u r really driven insane.. they r sme things u neva ve ctrl on! i guess.. i would have killed him also! she ws an Indian faraway on sme land.. God! no one to help.. uff!

Well I read somehwere that she wanted to hurt him bad..but not kill him. He died of courzz. Maybe I m wrong, I will get my facts right and tell you when I know.
-----
Well abt the post comments uff! dnt ask! really! this is why i say stick to one template and dnt try think that I am a smart-ass..!Uff..really.

ok, so when u do cme you click on the 10 comments link jus under the post title.. it shud open up i guess :-(

i m sorry abt this...seriously.. i dnt know why this is happening... gonna ask blogger abt it :)

Kalpana said...

**Just do the same thing whatever he did by making him know the meaning of violence.

u mean u'll abuse him too?

I don't want to use the term abuse here....... It's just to make him realize what he is doing to me. Since, it's another human, being hurt and he has got no right to do the same. It's a last trial to change him.

maverick said...

hmm...happy womens day to u too..belated tho :D

howdy??edited my post..chk it out :)

my answers wud b yes and yes to a huge extent :)

jitendra said...

i think the fault lies in the system that makes a guy and a girl spend their whole lives together without letting them know each other well. things are changing but not enough. one can take actions but unless the way of thinking changes, the root cause wont go away.

ps: i was busy travelling to vegas/canada.. hence "missing" :)now a bit free :D

carolinagal said...

If something like this happened to me, I would not tolerate it even for a second. The first signs of abuse would be more than enough for a reason to leave him, file for divorce, have him put in jail, and gain full custody of the kids.

Luckily, I live a country that has strict laws against domestic abuse. I believe in our justice system enough such that I would not feel compelled to resort to revenge or any sort of violent retaliation.

Because the crime depicted in this movie occurred in the 1980s, in Britain, unfortunately I can't speak for the laws there. If it is against the law, and could possibly put me in prison, I would not commit the crime. But that does not mean that I would tolerate it either.

Unfortunately, the time period in India, during which Kiran was born and raised, is way too backward (not in terms of the quantity), as compared to the same time period in the Western civilization. Women in India during those times were taught to love, respect and support their husbands no matter what. Society had a HUGE influence on these women. So it is no surprise that Kiran tolerated the abuse for so long. I just hope women these days in India still don't feel like Kiran did back then.

There are women all over the world suffering from domestic violence, and these women just need support, and a heightened sense of awareness of the laws against such crimes.

Keshi said...

Kaylz tnxx aww..:)

yes I did get ur email...was very busy at work today and I didnt hv time to blog-hop at all.


MWAH!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hehehe Bumble tnxx mate!

Enjoy!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

true Amy, tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Veenz :)


**Well I read somehwere that she wanted to hurt him bad..but not kill him

yes Im sure she didnt hv an intention KILL him...mebbe just to hurt him. But he ended up dying, sadly for both.


ok I'll try ur blog now. Hey no need to apologise :) HUGS!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

oh ok I got ya now Kalpz tnxx!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hehe Mav ok, tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Jitterbug WB!

**one can take actions but unless the way of thinking changes, the root cause wont go away.

yes VERY TRUE!

so u've been holidaying..good on ya! :)


Keshi.

Dalicia said...

well, those days..a lot of women are told to keep quiet and suffer from abuses. both verbal and physcial. i mean, if she was going to go to the police. she's going to end up back to her more angrier husband. problem is,
domestic abuse is not taken seriously in most countries.

i would have done the same thing. ppl don't get justice.
my as well, take action with my own hands.

i will see it when it comes out here :)

if this happen to me. since i live in the modern age. i would have reported to the police and immediately live the house. i wouldn't let the man get away with this crime.

happy women's day to you!!

Keshi said...

ty Carolinagal!


**Society had a HUGE influence on these women.

yes and I think it's still there in most Indian/Sri Lankan women. There's a ton of stigma attached to leaving a husband and walking away from a marriage for these women...sadly.


Im glad u wont tolerate such treatment..Im the same, I wont even give him a 2nd chance.


HUGS!

Keshi.

maverick said...

hmmm...wat u up2??

Keshi said...

ty Dalicia!


** she was going to go to the police. she's going to end up back to her more angrier husband.

yes I know such women even in this era..very sad ha.



** i wouldn't let the man get away with this crime.


Im glad. But Kiranjit also lived in the MODERN era...1989 wasnt too long ago. I really think it depends on the individual woman, her upbringing and her personality. Cos even today some women hide such things and protect their animalistic men at homes!



tnxx girl HUGS!

Keshi.

Tys on Ice said...

i saw provoked...but i didnt really like the movie, eventhough we felt that the issue it dealt with was important and a painful reality...

i guess it was becoz they had all the charcters in the movie so sterotyped and black/white...they were all either gud or bad...except perhaps in the prison where we are given a reason ...so the movie was a bit lame for me

as for wht wud i hve done in such a situation ?...i wud hve left.

Arti Honrao said...

Hi Keshi!

I am glad you agree with my comment. I tried my best to do justice to it.


GBU
Arti
PS I would appreciate if you could write to me using contact form on my blog, I need a favor from you :)
Naah, it has nothing to do with the cash prize :p
I know it is I-leg-gal ;)

Keshi said...

ty Tys!

**i guess it was becoz they had all the charcters in the movie so sterotyped and black/white...they were all either gud or bad

yeah true in a way...but mebbe it was how it really was? I dunno...


Im glad u'd walk away...sensible thing to do Tys.

-----------------------------------


hey Arti :)


** I would appreciate if you could write to me using contact form on my blog, I need a favor from you

how d u mean? I really didnt u'stand that :(



Keshi.

Mez said...

I haven't seen the movie but from what it looks like she must have been tortured like hell to have taken such a drastic step. Y suffer in the hands of someone so sheepishly. Better to stand up and fite for oneself..afterall in the end we all are alone.

Keshi said...

I agree Mez...there's a limit to everything.

HUGS!

Keshi.

Nirmal Loves Nihangs said...

awesome post yaar! ur blog rocks!

from nirmal! (http://khalistanikudiyenirmallovesnihangs.blogspot.com/ and http://awayfromourheritage.blogspot.com/)