The Indian Man

Alright it's time I wrote something about the typical Indian man. If by reading this anyone feels that I am prejudiced, well you are wrong. Because I don't mean to generalise all Indian men here. I'm only talking about the typical Indian man so hold your horses ok :) Besides having lived in Sri Lanka, now living in Australia and knowing many men of Indian and other backgrounds, I have quite a good comparison weapon called experience - so whether you like it or not, be prepared for some of your egoes to be stroked and that is ONLY if this applies to you. You're most welcome to criticise my point of view as well.

~~Keshi puts her helmet on...

**I believe most Indian men are selfish. They want everything in life - personal, careerwise etc, but they consider girls shouldn't have dreams...because they believe that girls are meant to be wives and mothers some day, that's about all. Talk about human in-equality!

**Many Indian men don't like smart women. Such women make these men feel inferior...kind of insecure feeling that will make them dislike those women. They don't like a woman who stands up for herself 'cause they don't believe that a woman can do that. Excuse me, God gave women brains too, just accept it and move on.
**I just know that some Indian men want their women to be servants all their life. Just take a look at the Indian families you know...majority of the women are housewives, washing dishes and clothes, taking care of kids, trudging behind their husbands eternally holding the lamp of dedication. How about 'sharing' the marriage and some responsibilites, and some personal space and freedom?
**I have seen most Indian men talking with their a##. In other words, it's total bull-sh#t and hypocrisy in total disguise. There are some Indian men who say 'She's immoral wearing clothes like that'. But really how many of those men fantasise such women behind those 'Im so holy' looks? How about shedding the fake?
**I've known too many Indian men who are momma's boys, making themselves look like puppets running behind mummy's saree. Many Indian men marry through proposed marriages even if that means dumping his life-long girlfriend. Doesnt bother him 'cause culture and family comes first and you know he's totally culture-drunk. What about common sense and a bit of manliness?

**Most Indian men are afraid of being told what to do 'cause they are downright stubborn. They don't want to be open to others' views...they are arrogant and they think they just landed from the planet of Mr.Know-It-All. How about some openness?
**I have known Indian men who are still frozen in different stages of evolution. They beat their wives and think it's the most manly thing to do. How about teaching yourself to be human before even thinking of being a man?
**I have witnessed most Indian men treat women like sex toys. Pinching Ladies' bottoms in buses and staring at the chest forever is their favorite past time. How about some respect for women?
**When it comes to marriage, many Indian men want a profesionally qualified and very fair virgin ofcourse. She has to be able to cook, dance, sing, perform, clean, breed and die if he asks her to. But most of these men may well be fat, dark, short, bald, have slept around and don't know the ABC's of cooking/cleaning, dancing or making love for that matter! How about some reality check?
**I know that most Indian men lack manners. They don't open doors for ladies, never say thank you (especially if it's a woman who did the favor) or sorry (the hardest word for them to say) and don't know the words 'excuse me' or 'beg your pardon' 'cause it makes them feel as if they are begging! How about some common courtesy?
**And last but not the least, most Indian men are penny-pinchers. Even if he takes a girl out on a date, he will pay only for his expenses. He would cancel the dessert if that saves him $5 and will fight for the 50c sauce to be free of charge. And if there are freebies he will take many of them home, not just one. Being economical is one thing but being cheap is ugly.

Having said all that I know there are some great Indian men too and please know that this is NOT for them. It's mainly for the men who don't seem to go anywhere in life other than within their own little backyard. So yeah those men please listen, get a grip, you are in the 21st Century or is that you haven't mentally entered it yet...btw the World Wide Web is here too but you are caught up in your own Web of Self and still live in fossils of too much culture that has blinded you so strongly. Loosen up, enjoy the ride and most of all be a MAN. Because if not, who really lives underneath your attractive shirt and pants is the guy below :)

No Right Turn

I drove to the Beach on Saturday...a usual place we dote on during Spring and early Summer (late Summer in Aus will fry you trust me:). The beauty of the late afternoon skies and the waves kissing the sands...the city lights in the far Northern sky and the planes taking off and landing - yes one coming when one's going...reminded me of opportunities in Life. Anyways what captured my attention was 3 dogs running along the beach with their owner. One dog was totally crazy...she was not following any rules and was just being totally herself. When the other dogs were running in one direction with the owner, this one was running the other way and enjoying every bit of it. The waves hitting her small legs and she was woof woofing at the waters and then running again.

It was really very interesting to watch this adorable thing (let's call her Tessa) - while the other 2 were running quietly beside their owner, following all the rules, obeying the instructions and watching every step carefully, Tessa was doing it all wrong...but she was having fun while the other 2 were looking quite bored but wanting to be in control. While they were running keeping themselves away from the water and looking so matured and in control, Tessa was breaking all thr rules, losing control but having the time of her life. What else you want her to do - she came to have fun na? The owner stops for a while to call Tessa back and then she turns around and runs behind him for a while...half way through she does her own thing again :) She stops, nibbles on something on the sand, stares at the water, woof woofs at the waves and jumps back and forth.

As she continuosuly did that, the No-Right-Turn sign came into my head. Although this particular road sign means you can't make a Right turn into that street, in this instance it joined with Tessa's journey to form a different and a valuable revelation to all of us. Tessa was delivering a very important message. She was showing us that there's no predefined 'right' turn that will take you to happiness. Turns can be in any direction and taking risks even if that means breaking from your routine and exploring the other side is what really matters - that's the 'right' turn. People are afraid to break the conventional way of thinking and living. Being out of control freaks some people out and they set themselves standards that they don't seem to enjoy at all - but they just live by it because if they go out of it, it feels like they are doing something wrong. But what are they gaining from it - nothing but being the same all their life - no adventure, no excitement, no new discoveries, no new connections and hell it's boring! It's good to go by the rules but hey it's just good only. Take a so-called 'wrong' turn and you may be surprised of how 'right' a turn it might turn out to be. It's better to be a tad more free and adventurous. So what if the rules are calling you back, go back only for a while like Tessa did and always come back to mischief - 'cause just see how many new friends and dicoveries Tessa made. Go on, be a bit more of what you really should be...seize every opportunity as soon as it lands before it disappears back into the air like that plane that just took off. Break the rules as long as it doesnt hurt anyone...have fun and be mischievous like Tessa is. Stop to meet new friends on the beach, to smell the flowers on the side, to see the starfish on the shore, to hear the sound of waves touching the sand, to feel the sand that's under your feet and to taste the salty waters every now and then, just like Tessa did. Have something exciting for the end of the day to reminisce back upon. Don't follow always...be someone that others might wanna follow. Take risks, be different, enjoy yourself, not the rules...'cause there's no real 'right' turn you see.

Gardening Tips...

I'm not much of a gardener myself but lately I developed a strong interest in maintaining it to provide a little bit of sparkle to myself and to everyone around me. Now, have you stepped into your garden lately? If not this is the time for you to check it out, the careless way in which it may be growing and the weeds that may have deep-rooted themselves destroying the health and beauty of it all. I came up with some gardening tips for myself and for you, lets hope it helps all of us in some way.

Keep the plant of Ego pruned every so often. You must have this plant but you shouldn’t allow it’s branches to grow too long that it prevents the sun from reaching the plant of Selflessness. Water the plant of Selflessness every now and then, so that it grows healthy enough to sway it’s branches giving some cool breeze to the plant of Generosity. Feed the plant of Generosity with enough nutrients so that it won’t be malnourished by staying hungry for too long. Have those merry garden gnomes to excite the plant of Humor. Relocate the plant of Greed to a dry corner so that it will just survive with nearly no effort. Next to it, place the plant of Conscience so that they can talk often to each other. Check the plant of Conscience every now and then so that you know it’s in good shape. Make sure the plant of Honesty grows in full strength so that it shadows the plant of Deceitfulness. Keep the plant of Deceitfulness in the dark so that the plants of Loyalty and Faithfulness can get a bigger share of sunshine. Build a pond of tranquil waters to keep the plant of Humbleness always damp and alive. Trim the branches of the plants of Jealousy and Envy as soon as they start to grow too thick. Have stones and rocks as solid friends for the plant of Strength. Bud the plants of Friendliness and Kindness so they bloom happily together. Let some grass grow to retain your plant of Originality. Cultivate the plant of Peace close to your window. Install tiny garden lights to cast brightness to the plant of Despair. Wean the plant of Foolishness off the walls. Bring down the plant of Pride to a moderate height from where it used to hang. Take the bugs off the plants of Hope and Dreams and let them grow without others throwing obstacles. Grow some Cactus that add to the variety of the garden, that may also help slow down the plant of Prejudice. Nurture the plants of Care and Beauty by using the best fertilizer you can find. Let the plant of Expectations grow without much care. Use a scarecrow to shoo away the pesky birds that chatter nonsense and attempt to ruin your plant of Courage. Move the plant of Hatred in to the wilderness so that insects will diminish it's life. From the wilderness bring the plant of Love back in to your garden, because it’s time for it to start living and growing again. Once these tips are taken into consideration and adopted into your daily gardening routine, you will have a new plant growing there soon…the plant of Bliss. Immerse in the Lotus-like flower of Serenity and the Mango-like fruit of Contentment that this plant of Bliss brings to your garden of life.

The unfelt touch

Have you ever had a forewarning of something that's about to take place? If you did then you have a gift...not necessarily a pleasant one though. Everyone is aware of their five basic senses, touching, smelling, seeing, hearing and tasting. But did you know every one of us has a brain region that clearly acts as an early warning system (the sixth sense), one that monitors environmental cues, weighs possible consequences and helps us adjust our behavior to avoid dangerous situations? Yes each and everyone of us has it, just that some of us have it tuned better than the rest. You may feel these people are gifted - yes they are when it comes to avoiding danger but not when it comes to seeing the unseen and hearing the unheard. Eerie as it may sound these are the people who can communicate with the spirit world. I'm not sure if I totally believe in spirits but I was forced to after seeing one...most of you know that story and actually I don't want to make that the highlight of this post anyways.


I read this somewhere: 'Following the Asian tsunami, scientists struggled to explain reports that primitive aboriginal tribesmen had somehow sensed the impending danger in time to join wild animals in a life-saving flight to higher ground'. That situation I believe is the sixth sense being useful and helpful as it can be sometimes . But everyone is not so conscious of their sixth sense, that sense of otherworldliness, a connection to something greater than their physical senses. This untapped territory of your brain is the doorway to the world of the unfelt touch, unheard communication and unseen encounter of a being from the spiritual world trying to make a contact with a being in the physical body. Whatever the religious beliefs you may have about spirits sometimes prevent you from believing in the sixth sense and ofcourse most people fear the unknown. There's nothing to fear about this because it's a normal part of the human psyche. If one should fear something it should be our fellow human beings because they can beat you up just to get your wallet but the supernatural beings (if any) won't and can't do that :) Look at this concept through scientific spectacles...when you want to listen to the radio you need to tune it to a particular frequency to listen to what you prefer, which is done by mechanical means. Same as this you need to tune into the frequency of some other element in the unseen world to have contact with it and that uses the means of mental focus and the desire to do so.

The strange thing is some people don't even have to tune their sixth sense...they are born with it being tuned perfectly. I don't have the ability or the desire to communicate with spirits - no I don't see dead people lol but I see alot of dumb people such as the ghostly muitilated brains with no senses at all, leaving dorky comments in blogs. However, most of my dreams (pleasant or not) come true. And sometimes I can tell what's about to happen even when the situation is nowhere near predictable. I don't mean big world events like the destructive hurricanes (wish I did so I can forewarn everyone :)), but little things in my daily life. Worst of all it's the dreams that freak me out sometimes. If tonight I dream of a friend visiting me tomorrow, well he/she would be at my doorstep the next day in the same clothes as he/she appeared in the dream. I know that I have an above average sensitivity to premonitions. In addition to the dreams, since I was about 7yrs old, I have been having a recurring vision of a car accident (one in which I see myself driving and falling off a cliff that kills me). I sometimes feel that this is my sixth sense rocking to the melody of 'Innuendo' (by Queen) but I'm not sure if that vision is 'suggesting' me something that I should act upon or it's something from a past life (if there really is such a concept). I have no idea but it aint going to stop me from driving or living life happily. If anyone of you know what this vision may relate to, please be kind enough to tell me even if it's downright torment to do so, thanks.

Having said all that what can we call this sixth sense - seeing through? Anyways, have you or anyone you know ever being tapped by the sixth sense?

Painscription

These lips are trained to smile while the heart is bleeding…closing these eyes to block the tears from escaping…somehow they flee these weary eyelids and follow the dried trails of their old mates…smile, I say keep smiling...isnt this a happy world built within a world of gloom and doom...the sounds of guitars used to strum that pain...the pain is so numb now not even those chords can reach it anymore...you know I used to be me...now it's only a faded watercolor memory...a memory of someone who used to be...a skeleton of my very soul...remnants of a chain of hopes who's dismantled beads can never be pieced...life is just a moment in time...a flash that graces the Earth just once...a bag of dreams that once opened will become empty real soon...an empty recyclable bag...

Tired of being trapped in these freezing heights...tired of being misguided...burnt by the flames of Earthly desires...drowned by the sea of misunderstandings...shrivelled by the drought of unforeseen love...the rain never came...brutally beaten by stupidity...suffering by these cancerous dreams...wanna throw this mask but my wings are frozen...mauled by the sharks of emotions...I stumble, I fall, I get up...only to be blinded by the light...the more I know the more I don't see...deafened by the horrible silence...muted by the hands of fate...hush now for you shall not speak...teased by these foolish games...slapped by my own will...handicapped by the the terminal crash called life...haunted by the depths of shallowness...no I will not fear the fall for I have mastered it now...laugh at me for I don't care...who really knows to love anyways...I came alone I struggle alone...angered by the smirks of destiny or whatever that is...the way it should be is just the way it should be...it's just not meant to be. No over-the-counter medication for the unquiet mind and it's loud voice, excruciating pain...prescription invalidated.

Smells like NO spirit

hello hello hello hello hello...hehe Kurt Cobain sang that part the best. Bet most of you heard the song 'Smells like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana. To listen to this song go here and select #5. Smells like teen spirit. Tragic he died so young - that guy had talent. Whenever I listened to this song I used to wonder what exactly he (Kurt wrote that song) meant by the words. What exactly is teen spirit? No it isn't the deodorant 'Teen Spirit' that skyrocketed it's sales after this song became a hit :) I think teen spirit is about being youthful, stupid, happy, mischievous, rebellious, obedient and enjoying the best days of your life. Atleast that's what my teenage years were like.

Unfortunately most teenagers of today are not anywhere close to this. They are stressed out, over-worked, pressurred and setting themselves standards that's almost impossible to achieve nor maintain. Teen spirit is lost somewhere in this mess. I feel teenagers of today expect too much from life and are expected too much from as well. Where are the days when teenagers were just teenagers? Alot of unrest has been born that most teenagers these days don't seem to know what peace, respect, discipline and happiness are. Most crimes in Australia are carried out by teenagers (car jacking, home invasions, traffic offenses, suicides, murder, sex, drugs, alcohol, schoolyard crimes etc). I'm sure most of you would have heard of the Columbine tragedy and numerous other school shootings by teenagers. These things never happened few years ago and so why now? The only peer challenge we had back in school was being gossipped about or a little bit of teasing...not a mate with a gun in his hands about to shoot us down! I cant even imagine how I would feel in such a situation.

I think most familes don't realise that teenage years are the most important foundation years of a child. For it to be healthy and stable, and not to tarnish the natural teen spirit, I think parents need to spend a lot of time and effort on their teenage kids. Most don't bother 'cause they think teenage kids are 'mature' enough to handle things on their own. Some may be so but not all. You need to be there for your kids and make sure they become an asset to themselves as well as to the society, not a lost child that ends up committing a crime that's irreparable. I understand that certain circumstances put kids in dire sitautions, and that's exactly what should be prevented.

Reading the lyrics of the song again and again and seeing beyond what my naked eye could see, I realise that maybe Kurt had troubled teen years. Leaving aside the fact that he later became a very popular musician, maybe he too was a very unhappy teenager not being able to reach goals set by the family/society, not being accepted for what he was...not being 'loved' enough. There's some hidden rage in the lyrics...masked disappointment...some anger at the world/God. This suppressed rage could have grown over the years and finally lead to his suicide. I don't know, it's just a possibility 'cause no one really knows why he died. And really he didnt have to die - it was necessary for him, but an unnecassary loss to the music world.

Here are few lines from the song. I have chopped the repetition. Tell me what you gather from this (you may really have to listen to the tempo and his voice to understand his notions well) . And don't forget to tell me what your teenage years are/were like, who/what has the responsibilty to guide the teens and why so many teens have lost interest in goodwill these days.

~~Load up on guns...bring your friends...It’s fun to lose...and to pretend...She’s overboard...Myself assured...I know I know...A dirty word Hello (x 16)

With the lights out, it’s less dangerous...Here we are now...entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious..Here we are now...entertain us

A mulatto...An albino...A mosquito...My libido...Yea I’m worse at what I do best...And for this gift I feel blessed...

Our little group has always been...And always will until the end

And I forget...just what it takes...And yet I guess it makes me smile...I found it hard...it's hard to find...Oh well, whatever...~~

-Kurt Cobain

Oh innocent Rose bloom beautifully...don't let the gloom around you fade you before your time...

Great quotes by some Great people...

~~Do not ask for whom the bells toll, it tolls for me and u. -Saby Wisemate

~~Just how the beautiful lotus grows in even the filthiest of drains, so purity and sincere love can be between two people even in our manipulative greedy selfish desperate times. This is what friendship is. -Caraf Dazzlinglight

~~What I expect from you is just what one friend expects from another. -Fira Freeeagles

~~Your friend of today may well be a friend of an enemy tomorrow. -Rohit Snagdude

~~When one is happy...it spreads the aroma all over and hence even the surroundings also get the essence of it. -Dawn Naturebabes

~~If u expect the unexpected...nothing will surprise . -Prakash Frankandhappy

~~And if you are taking out someone you should have enough money in your pocket. -Manish Goodheart

~~Unexpected smiles..it makes u feel so good n loved..this is what we should achieve in life..nothin else. -Musings Starshines

~~Your happiness is all that matters to me and, if keeping away makes you happy, I'm willing to live with it. -Misty Zombeauty

~~When you realise all those steam of thoughts running inside you, that keeps u awake all night...thoughts from which you are fighting from all the time stop after you meet that someone SPECIAL. -Arz000n Brilliantmind

~~Today, I am going to blog about my first love...my one and only, my brother. -Kroopa Talentedgal

~~Good news is, if you don't like your present situation, no worries. It will, like life, change. -Tre Extendedhands

~~Lovers may make mistakes, but love will never be wrong. -Amu Colorfultulip

~~Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you diet. -Avik Hottinformer

~~Don't hurt anyone as long as u live. -Gaurav Innocenteyes

~~Good comes from bad situations, usually in the form of what we learn from them. -Autumn Blueskies

~~I know i m still lost but I've got plenty of company. -Invincible Smartguy

~~He was sooo happy,soo at peace with himself,definitely one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. -Pearly Sweetypie

~~When was the last time you said "I love you"? -Tanvi Babygurrl

~~I met her only five years ago. Though it does feel like I've known her all my life. -Icy Smartybeans

~~The wall talking, I still do that. Though cielings are better. -Devile Hottywords

~~Given an option the truth is my choice. -Cheesy Lovelyeyes

~~I know hez not gonna be arnd for ever,but hez gonna ''sing for the moment'';) and thtz wat matters!! -Michelle Popprincess

~~I believe silence is many times better than a lie. -Pari Gorgeousheart

~~When there are no options we exactly know what we have to do…no confusion u see. -Puneet Brainsandbrawn

~~I don't think there's a person made for me, life's all about settling. -Gomess Goodfellow

~~In my imagination, I achieved everything the world deemed impossible. -Dewdy Beautifulsoul

~~You have seen two rail tracks, aint you. Parallel lives never destined to meet. -Deips Wordmasters

~~Thank you God, for letting me be here. -Pallavi Sportychick

~~I want to dress like a sadhu (saint) and fool ppl. -Strawy Dolllface

~~No one in the world is a useless human being. -Pithaly Rollingstones

~~Within ur pretty and captivating eyes..looking at the world full of lies. -Vivhyd Mesmerisingpoet

~~The muck is all around, it's the small lotus which makes the prescence of muck disgusting. -Ash Sparklingrays

~~I have to admit I am quite flattered to have gotten under your skin so much. -Justin Intensedepths

~~Life is too short and unpredictable no matter how much we plan for tommorrow we just cant write our own destiny. -Sebia Wondergirl

~~Though I sound quite desperate most of the times, but I would never loose hope till the last breath. -South Honestviews

~~Hope gives you wings to fly, while Fate sits in the dark, laughing, biding His time. -Sonia Deepmind

~~When ur bringing a new life into the world u learn to let go of the older ones though the memory never fades. -Janice Honeypie

~~Anyone in that environment who was bigoted pretty much had to keep their mouth shut.
--Paul Cleansingwaters

~~Someone made for me would be someone who inspires me to be the best that I can be...not just to myself... not just to her... but even to others. -Zillest Romanticdocs

~~I do believe that it is not possible for me to change the world.. but I can educate , give moral values to those who are close to me.. may be if each one of us decides to do that .. we may end up staying in a better world. -Hagrid Peaceandsmiles

~~What if we smiled if not by lips then may be just a smile in our eyes when we looked at an Indian on the street next time. - Missnupur Greatminds

You were 'made' for me baby...

How many of you believe in destiny when it comes to Love? You meet someone special in life and you think 'Yes he/she is made for me!' But how right/wrong could you be? There are so many lovely people out there who could have been made just for you, but ofcourse eventually you can be with only one person, I agree :) (z000nie poly-crushes are allowed not polgamy I know duhh!) However, how can you look at someone and say for sure that he/she was made just for you, just beacuse you two are compatible or just because you two got married ? It could be that you really haven't met that person who was infact really made for you. But if he/she was MADE for you, then you WILL meet him/her wont you? So does that mean destiny really makes us meet that person somehow? Or do WE really have to find him/her somehow and are there chances that we may really not find him/her but we settle with someone else? Seriously I think Cupid is torturing us with his retraded arrows - in my case he's on a sleeping pill overdose.

I think the best way to conquer this puzzle is to know exactly what your criteria of 'you were made for me' is :) so that you know for sure when you found him/her and you know exactly that that is when you can stop the search. So tell me what your criteria is...spill the beans and after that maybe all of you can apply for each other's vacant positions...lol I'm kidding :) Anyways if you have found the one who was 'made' for you, what made you realise that he/she is the one? If you still haven't found that person, what does it take him/her to be the one who's 'made' for you?

Many great singers have written songs about 'you're the one'...'you were made for me' etc. I would like to include 2 of may favs to you all...

~~And you were made for me
You were made for me...you weren't born to be alone
And you were made for me...
You were made for me
You were made for me...flesh and bone, it's etched in stone
That you were made for me...~~

By Elton John.

~~You're still the one I run to...the one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life (you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of..you're still the one I kiss good night...~~

By Shania Twain

You too can say it with a song if you like...:)

Recurring Broken

Every experience in life makes you either stronger or weaker. Every experience brings out a new side of you. Every experience leaves you either happier or sadder. The point I'm trying to get across is that every experience changes you forever - yes forever. You will never be the same once you have passed that experience. What you were yesterday will not be today - because you have touched, smelled, seen, felt, heard, tasted,read something new and that makes you a new person. Have you ever thought about how much we change everyday? You may not even realise that every little thing changes you - and I don't mean physically. Emotionally you become a new person with every experience. In other words, you dont always have 'you' with 'you'. Either you become a grown person or a broken dream. If you want to grow from it, then whatever it is that you face sleep over it - tomorrow you will see a different view, cos tomorrow you're going to be a new 'you'. If you feel broken, then know that you can mend it and you'll see another new 'you'. Just like how a tree that loses a leaf will always get new leaves...just like how Spring brings back life that was faded in Winter...every good thing comes back again and again if you give it a chance - and yes it will be in between broken dreams. Life is that.

Once I saw a beautiful soul I started to feel alive...once I heard a sad tune I realised my tormenting curse...once I read a sweetheart's note I knew I will be loved...once I smelled the Jasmines I sensed some peace of mind....once I felt the pangs of lust I sensed my real self...once I tasted a tiny dewdrop I befriended nature....once I read a powerful speech I reached the peaks of strength...and then once I touched Poison Ivy I started to wither away...and once I looked deep down my heart I knew I could live today...

~~Dedicated especially to my dearest and amazing blog-mate Autumn, and each and everyone who can relate to what I'm saying...

Sweet little lies...

ANSWER IS IN THE 95TH COMMENT!!

I have been tagged by one of the sweetest people on Earth and that is Misty (Zombie over here) to play a game and I hope all of you would take part. 1 of the following 7 statements about me is a lie. Can you spot my sweet little lie?

1.I was a popular Tennis player back in school.
2.I love eating the corner-piece of an Iced cake.
3.I have been slapped once in my life.
4.One of my dogs once bit me on my waiste.
5.My house has 2 balconies.
6.I have burst out laughing on the face of a lecturer.
7. I wore the saree for my first Uni graduation.

~~Keshi tags Puneet, z000nie, NV, Pearly, p000nie, Saby,am000nie and Cheesy :)

Leap of fate...

Guys I'm totally shattered today. Last night changed my life forever and the reason wasn't even anyone close to me.

I was travelling home by train at around 6:30pm and was one station away from my home station. I was seated in the 2nd carriage from the driver's compartment. The train was reaching the platform but before it could stop smoothly like it does usually, it jolted with a big shudder that tossed most of us passengers off our seats (but luckily it did not injure anyone) and came to a halt. We were all a bit shaken and looking at each other trying to figure out why this happened just at the station when the train could have stopped lesuirely. After about 2mins, the driver announced that there has a been a fatality - a person jumped in front of the train I was travelling in and yes he/she died. It was choas after that announcement...paramedics, emergency, Police all came at the same time and were passing us to get to the driver's compartment, in order to get off the train to reach the deceased. As we got out of the train after a 20min wait inside, everyone was trying to get a glimpse of the scene through the glass windows at the station. I had a look too and I saw a haunted train which was lively just 20mins ago, standing still on the tracks in pitch darkness as if it's humming a sad tune. I could also see a white stretcher, paramedics around it and monstrous amounts of blood on the tracks...

My immediate thoughts were of total shock and I felt immensely traumatised. I have heard of many suicides (even one of my good friends ended his life in front of a train) but I don't know why this affected me so much. Maybe because I was on that same train and I witnessed a bit of the tragedy...it was like I felt the soul that departed in front of my train, and all we wanted was to go home?? I felt selfish and I felt stupid for being so excited about life when there are so many people out there suffering every second of the day! I felt I lost my battle with humanity. I felt I was a rigid soul laughing at someone else's expense. You may call me too emotional but that is what I am...I can't help it.

What if the reason for his/her suicide was a loved-one? What if he/she was stuck in debts/unemployment or was merely unable to cope with some minor issue that someone could have easily solved? Do we really have to drive people to death this way? Life is too short and too precious for someone to be forced to kill themselves because of some issue like money or love. Now I understand that some people face serious disappointments in life be it illness or a death of a loved-one that makes them kill themselves due to depression. But if it happens because of an unkind word or a deed by someone else, it's unforgivable...it's tragic...and it's totally disheartening. Don't you think that this person could have been saved if someone was there for him/her? Or maybe he/she was better off dead than deal with selfish people in life! I secretly cried a river of tears last night and my mum was sad too - yes I cried for someone I didnt even know but I wish I knew him/her and that I could have done something to make him/her not take that leap, call it fate I don't know. We cant let people die this way...we should be there for them...what happened to you last night my friend?

~~I'm so tired but I can't sleep...
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word...
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
Well I came to the end of the road...
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room...
Why cry for a soul set free?~~

Great Expectations

Great Expectations

We ‘expect’ from almost everyone we know. It could be that you want someone to do something for you, behave in a particular way towards you, listen to you, want you or be there for you when needed. As human beings we depend on each other for our daily needs and wants, and we do ‘expect’ to a certain extent. Some may believe that their parents should bestow all ancestral property/assets to them since it’s their ‘duty’ to the children. Some may ‘anticipate’ their relatives to be loving and faithful towards them simply due to the fact that they share the same blood. Some may ‘want’ their friends to always have a listening ear to them or be there for them always. Some may ‘yearn’ for unconditional and everlasting love from a partner simply because that makes them happy.

What are we gaining by all these ‘expectations’. We are merely setting ourselves for ‘disappointment’. That might sound pretty outrageous to you, because in life we DO expect and depend on people, and that’s how we carry on with our daily challenges. But just think about a disappointment you may have experienced because of someone else. Think clearly if it was really because of the other person or was it simply because of your ‘expectation’ that it eventually lead to disappointment? We are so quick to judge and point the finger at the other person. You may say ‘it’s because of my friend’s carelessness that my feelings got hurt’, ‘it’s because of my ex-girlfriend’s selfishness that I’m so messed up’, ‘it’s because of my father’s pride that I couldn’t follow my dreams’, ‘it’s because of my mother-in-law’s ego that I can’t have a life’…etc. But hey wait a minute. No one’s stopping you from being happy except YOU! They didn’t force you to do/not do anything - you are just letting them manipulate your mind. How? By always ‘expecting’ and not preparing yourself for the ‘unexpected’. So when someone acts different to how you expected, you are highly disappointed and as a result may suffer from it needlessly.

We are human beings – we cannot always live up to someone else’s expectations neither can we expect others to behave the way we want them to. Disappointment sprouts when expectations aren’t met. So simply don’t expect! The key to staying happy and unaffected is by achieving a neutral state of mind. Don’t be overjoyed or over-saddened by someone else’s actions. Tame your mind to achieve a neutral state of emotions by not ‘expecting’ too much from others. Even if someone did/did not do something that hurt you, learn to forgive and move on with your life than dwelling on what they did to you. You are higher than that. You are a smart cookie :). So don’t be on the losing side by clinging on to someone else’s misdeed which would only upset you more. Train yourself not to expect and to be a smiling winner. Trust me, it’s a richly rewarding investment property once acquired.

Now who 'expected' the pic above? LOL!

butt it's beautiful...

butt it's beautiful...

Did you come across the new Nike advertising campaign targetting 'real' women? 'My butt is big'. 'I have thunder thighs' are some of the catchy slogans that girls may identify with themselves and yes that's exactly what Nike wants...for you to recognise you're beautiful as you are and it's good to look 'normal'.

If you look closely, women of this era are fast becoming pencil stick figures and think that it's beautiful to be bust-less and butt-less. To be honest I think such women are depriving themselves of womanhood. A woman should not look like she needs a good serving of steak, everytime you look at her. Victoria Beckham for instance looks like she hasn't eaten for years and I really feel sorry for women like her. It's one thing to keep trim and another to look like you just landed from Ethiopia.

Why do women feel that they have to do every possible thing to look 'thin'. Staying healthy is different to staying anorexic. A woman is beautiful with a full figure without the flabs. That's my idea of a beautiful woman. I think Nike is doing a great job by launching this new advertising campaign that not only makes all women feel appreciated but also delivers young women a serious message...'do not starve yourself to look half a woman - curves add to a woman's beauty'. Girls, what are your bodies like and have you felt awakward about your body? If so just cast away the media-rooted belief that 'Stick-figure is beautiful', 'cos I believe it's not! Full figures are sexy and I mean someone like Jennifer Lopez or Catherine Zeta Jones...aren't they looking healthy while looking gorgeous too, what say guys?

The Ad above reads:

My butt is big and round like the letter C and then thousand lunges have made it rounder but not smaller. And that's just fine. It's a space heater for my side of the bed. It's my ambassador. To those who walk behind me, it's a border collie that herds skinny women away from the best deals at clothing sales. My butt is big and that's just fine. And those who might scorn it are invited to kiss it :)

Li-VE-brary

Imagine how it would be if the book you borrowed from the library can talk? How fast it would be to clear all your doubts and how informed you would be by the end of the conversation! Well you don't have to imagine that anymore - it's already happening in a Swedish library! But this time it isn't a book you're going to have to borrow - it's a human being.

I read about this on the papers yesterday and I found it really interesting a concept. The objective behind this human library I believe is that as the world today grows rapidly, we have also come to face alot of different groups of people and varying perceptions that lead to alot of prejudices. These prejudices may be simply due to the fact that we are uninformed about a certain group of people. It read "If you're one of those people who thinks all lesbians are sexually frustrated or thinks all animal rights activists are aggressive, then a Swedish library project that allows you to "borrow" a human being rather than a book may provide some useful insight." What this human library attempts to do is make a human representative of largely prejudiced groups available for the general public to borrow for 45mins. Then you get a chance to ask all your questions regarding them and clear your doubts to a certain extent.

Is this a brilliant idea that's going to work towards common understanding or is this going to be a total flop and if so why? I personally think it's great way to communicate face to face and know where they're coming from, even if that means at the end of the day I wouldn't be agreeing totally. But it might help me to learn something that I was not aware of before which would have lead to my prejudice about them - that may even change my views. On the other hand I might hate that person and my prejudice might grow worse lol - that's the negative side of using human references. I'm mostly prejudice-free but I really would like to talk to a terrorist. Wonder if they would pay such a person to offer services at the library :) Well, what are your prejudices and if you were given a chance who would you like to borrow from this human library and what questions would you ask?

It read "This weekend, nine people, including a homosexual, an imam, a journalist, a Muslim woman and a gypsy, will be available at the Malmoe Library for members of the public to "borrow" for a 45 minute conversation in the library's outdoor cafe.".
Beat that!

Me, Myself and I

After much debate and many deliberate deferments ;-) I have been compelled to write 99 facts about me, mainly because I was moved to tears by m000nie's beautiful dedication to me here. If an e-mate can go that far to find out about me and write up such a wonderful post on me (based on some of my fav pieces from the past), then I have to consider myself really blessed for knowing them and to be appreciated by them this way. Hence I have to honor their love and affection and return that with what they desire. So here it goes m000nie and z000nie who so wanted me to just get on with this mission from day one. Apologies for the delay and I hope I don't bore any of you with this, you may quite happily ignore this post and I won't mind at all :)

99 facts about me...

1.My first childhood memory is of a 4yr old me and how I refused to go to playschool.
2.When I was about 6 I had the habit of knocking on doors and hiding.
3.I like to talk alot and as a kid I used to talk to the walls all the time.
4.On my first few days in school I refused to budge from my sister's class and sat next to her all day.
5.A friend and I once went to a church wedding way too early so we knocked on the priest's door :)

6.I went to a private school in Colombo, one of the best girls' schools in Sri Lanka.
7. When I was born mum cried as she wanted her 2nd child to be a boy.

8.I used to love watching the fishes swim down the streams in my dad's ancestral estate.
9.One of my fav childhood dreams was to become a rock star with a mad guitar.
10.I have big expressive eyes.

11.My dad taught me how to have compassion for animals 'cos he was an avid dog-lover.

12.I can be a tough customer 'cos I expect quality of service, not quantiy.

13.I don't understand people who have piercings in weird places and walk around looking hurt.

14.I am interracial.

15.I was once on a Air NZ jet that jolted all the way to Auckland and I thought I'd never see my family again.

16.My fav colors are barbie pink, apple green, lilac and turquoise.

17.When I was about 5 I met with a major bicycle accident.

18.I hate needles and witnessing blood among tons of other fears.

19.I can be moody and quite stubborn.

20.I have fainted twice on the bus and once on the train.

21.I have a black-halter neck top and a long skirt to go with it that's just so hot.

22.The best thing I ever got for myself was my car.

23.People with heavy accents drive me up the walls 'cos it's so damn hard to understand them.

24.I like compliments but I can stand criticism quite well.

25.I use LUX shower gel.

26.'Everybody loves Raymond' and 'My wife and kids' used to be my fav TV shows

27.I like fragrances, scented candles and body oils.

28.My pet hates are people without manners and TV soaps like 'Bold and the Beautiful' that have someone hanging on a cliff for days!

29.I'm a photo queen - I have albums and albums of treasured moments.

30.Robbie William is ULTRA hot.

31.Every woman should have a razor - I go 'ewwww' at hairy legs.

32.I like seafood and Italian cuisine next to Indian.

33.I am overall a nervous wreck.

34.I like long hot showers.

35.You could say I have premonitions - most of my dreams come true.

36.I type without looking at the keyboard.

37.Apparently my best facial features are my eyes and nose.

38.I'm a child at heart.

39.A vision of a car accident keeps coming to my head since I was like 8.

40.I can be very picky even if it's a b'day card that I'm looking for.

41.My sister thinks I'm silly and my friends actually adore me for that.

42.If you invite me over for dinner be prepared to yak.

43.I dont like people who yak non-stop though.

44.I admire people's cute soft accents and different smiles.

45.I like quiet moments with myself.

46.I believe in excercising, not dieting.

47.I speak/read/write 2 languages fluently apart from English.

48. I have a small black birth-mark under my left eye and at the edge of my right eye.

49.Someday I want to go to Greece and Spain.

50.I like where I am today 'cos I earned it myself.

51.I'm proud of my heritage and will never sell my soul.

52. I believe everyone has something we can learn from.

53.I can't get over the song 'Sweet Child O mine' by Guns N Roses.

54.Generally speaking life stinks.

55.I still remember how my dad used to press my shoulders every now and then.

56.I have a habit of playing with my hair when I'm in deep thought.

57.There were few boys I thought were Mr.Right.

58.I used to own a study table that's still in Sri Lanka the way it was left when I came to Aus.

59.I believe in destiny.

60.I like clothes that are decently sexy.

61.I love sweet surprises but usually find it out even before it comes to me.

62.I hate constant whingers.

63.I don't like alcohol and I don't know why people booze.

64.Things I value the most are my freedom and individuality.

65.My first driving instructor got fired by me because of bad breath.

66.I got prizes all my school life and I have a bookcase full of those books.

67.I never boast of my achievements but I wish I did cos some dumb people are damn irritating.

68.I was a prefect back in school and used to go on rounds to check if girls were misbehaving.

69.I can sing and I have sung in public.

70.I once blasted a male hairdresser who cut my hair way too short and I cried for months.

71.Children always caught my eye.

72.I don't try hard to impress anyone.

73.I have never committed a crime apart from being a pain in the butt sometimes :)

74.I hate when people ruin my plans indirectly or not.

75.My fav doll was Helen and she used to say 'I'm hungry' when pressed in the belly.

76.I observe people very well if he/she catches my attention.

77.I can be quite clumsy and careless at times.

78.I respect discipline and value responsibility.

79.Havent been to a nightclub more than twice and I hated it each time.

80.I think e-friends are a boost to my sense of self and they just rock my world.

81.I'm an Analyst programmer for electronic banking.

82.I sleep all curled up - in fetal position.

83.I'm a clean-freak.

84.I used to climb trees with my cousin when I was about 7.

85.Playing hide and seek with me was hard cos I hid in impossible places.

86.I'm wearing a light green top and black pants right now.

87.I worship God but I believe in the quote 'Hands that do service are holier than the lips that pray'

88.My fav past time is music and blogging or yakking with someone.

89.I do grocery shopping at Coles where NV dobbed on someone.

90.People who meet their soul-mates are just geuninely blessed.

91.If tears or the PC didn't exist I would have killed myself ages ago.

92.I believe good things don't always happen to good people and vice versa.

93.I aint a sports freak but I went to see the Olympics in Sydney just for the sake of it :)

94.My fav junk food is KFC hot and spicy with Mountain Dew.

95.I have attended funk, hip-hop and yoga classes apart from aerobics.

96.I have always had the feeling I'm going to die young.

97.Thunder and lightening scares me.

98.Gingivitis scares me even more.

99.I have a wicked sense of humor and my cosmetic bag is of a brand called 'wicked sister' :)

Glass Daffodils...

hope

I was inspired to write this post after watching a new TV series called 'True Stories'. It's about ordinary Australians who are going through a tragic experience in life be it battling a terminal illness or facing criminal charges or surviving suicide. This program aims to convey the fact that true inspirations don't always come from your favorite sports star or celebrity. It's not always glitter and glamour that teach us what true success is and inspirations are. It can come from someone you least expect it from such as your neighbor or your colleague who may have gone through an amazing experience in life. This post is primarily about people who are terminally ill and hence a dedication to those brave souls.

The first episode showed the story of a beautiful 29yr old young woman who was struck with breast cancer at the age of 25. She had a wonderful husband and 2 very young kids. She told her story with great strength starting from how she found out that she had it, what her initial reaction was, how she went ahead day to day with her life, how she put on a brave smile through treatment and how her doctor one day told her that she had only 6months to live. She did not sit in a corner and cry the whole day. Instead she packed her bags and went to London, her dream vacation that she so wanted to go on with her husband and kids. That was just one dream she fulfilled. There were many other dreams, like wanting to see her son go to kindy next year, wanting to live up until her 30th bday in June 2005, wanting to see her kids grow up and getting married....but even that was too much to ask for in the given time span. In June this year she achieved one milestone - she turned 30 and yes she lived up to it. Two weeks later she died.

Yes folks that's how cruel and unfair life can get. And fighting Cancer isn't an easy mission especially when the Cancer has progressed to a later-stage and even worse if you are young and with alot of responsibilities. On Christmas day 2003, I decided to visit the Calvary hospice in Sydney - that's where they transfer those Cancer patients who's time to cross over is in the very near future. Another 2 friends and I went in there with special permission and as a Christmas mission. We took them little gifts and just wanted to spend some time with these people who were preparing for their deaths. When I walked in to the first room itself I was in tears as it was a 15yr old boy who had face cancer. He was virtually deteriorating in front of our eyes and his mum was keeping him company. He had an amazing sense of humor and kept cracking jokes to make us all laugh. I call that incredible grace under pressure - a positive outlook to life even at the jaws of death. He had no dreams of a fancy car, parties or studying to be someone, he just wanted to live for his mother - yes that's all he wanted. 2 months later we were informed that he passed on.

Most people touched by Cancer are preparing themselves for death in one way or the other...and the people I visited were just resting at the hospice until Joe Black appeared. What a horrible situation yet an inspiring lesson for us. We can't really be in their shoes but we can try and draw something from the demons they face up until death. Imagine watching your life fade away and unable to be in control of it, when the rest of the world is having a ball. It must be really hard to smile but they still do. Life isn't really about waking up daily and going to work or study. Cancer is the number one killer in Australia and it's very real. Those touched by Cancer were once like us....now they have become glass blooms...extremely fragile yet powerful a radiance to the spirit .

Night is here to stay...

boycott_terrorism

What starts as a minor loss of conscience if not rectified, can end up as a major tranformation of an entire person. The latest political victim of terrorism in Sri Lanka was the foreign minister honorable Lakshman Kadirgamar who was shot dead at his home by an LTTE sniper on Friday night, just as he got out of his swimming pool. In comparison to many other politicians in Sri Lanka, this was a man of honor, integrity and excellence who genuinely fought against terrorism without any selfish motives behind his work. He was an Oxford-educated lawyer and was a Tamil by race but he lived as a true Sri Lankan and worked hard to bring an end to the on-going war in Sri Lanka. Being a man of good conscience and being ethnically unbiased was his only felony.
But this story is just one of the millions of senseless slayings over the years by terrorists around the world. How many lives have been destroyed, how many properties damaged, how many intellectuals erased, how many children orphaned? Why does the concept of terror fascinate some? My strong belief is nothing can ever be achieved by terror, even if there are righteous causes for doing so. Worst of all most terrorists claim that they are doing these bloody deeds for achieving peace and harmony for their race or religion! I find this quite ridiculous a theory. How can peace come out of terror? How can peace come out of blood-shed? How can peace come out of a gun, a suicide bomb, a dead body?
What I really think is that each and every terrorist out there walks around with a lost conscience, maybe due to whatever personal experience they faced. Their familes may have been tortured, killed or purely because he/she is brainwashed by some religious literature. But whatever they may have faced, no one has the right to kill another person in retribution or in the hope of gaining peace or whatever it is that they want. I myself have lost 2 close uncles (Police) in the on-going war but it never made me bitter against any race - I'm very concerned about acheiving peace in my country (and the world) but never through terror! Using scare tac-tics to gain anything at all is cowardly and unlawful. It's only doing your whole objective wrong! So having said that a terrorist's consience is lost, how can these individuals ever get it back? I know this is not something that's quite achievable for those who are terrorists already but for those who are thinking about being one think twice please. You are about to enter a night that will never make you see the dawn of day. All you will be achieving is befriending violence that will distance you further from the very reason you're about to fight for. Rebuild your conscience and fight the right way - through sense and law.

Blue Genes

Last night I watched a very interesting documentary on SBS which was about human genes. It was fascinating to realise that the genes one carry is the reason for one's IQ level, rather than the school one may attend or the extra work one may put in. Scientists have found out through genetic tests that certain diseases, IQ level, emotional equilibrium etc are all dependant on the DNA being passed to you from your family, just as much as your physical features . So yes you are born with it all. The tendency to develop a disease like Cystic Fibrosis, Manic Depression, Down Syndrome or even Breast Cancer is initially designed in the chromosomes of a developing fetus. And that's what this post is going to be about...those mutated genes that doctors these days can track down even before a child is born.
The program showed how doctors in the US are screening embryos for certain diseases so that parents expecting the child are informed of what the child may develop. Thereafter it is upto the parents to decide if they want to go ahead with the pregnancy or terminate it. These doctors and the parents seem to classify a potential genetic disease-bearing fetus as a drawback to the society if allowed to the see the light of this world. On the other hand there was a woman who had a son with Down Syndrome and was quite content with her life. Having a family history of Down Syndrome, she stated that when she got pregnant with this child, she was informed about the embryo-screening for genetic diseases. She refused to take the test as how she thought about it was that all she wanted was a child and it doesn't matter who he/she would be - at that point I had tears in my eyes because I think she is a selfless mother with a beautiful heart. There was another lady who was a manic depressive and was told by her doctor not to get pregnant as her child would some day be a problem to himself/herself and the society. She was very upset about it and in tears not knwoing what to do as she badly wanted a child. She is a doctor herself and has written many books about depression, and she also found out that people who have depression-developing genes are also uniquely creative and intelligent than the rest! So yes they can also be assets to this world if given a chance to be born!
My question to you is should a DNA screening for potential genetic diseases be done on a developing fetus that allows the parents to decide whether to have the child or abort it? Or by doing this are we tampering with the fetus' right to live? Personally I am against the screening and I firmly believe it's a violation of the fetus' rights even though it's not born yet. We must not forget that unborn babies breathe too, just that they don't get their say yet. Should the mother-to-be have that right then, but then again isn't a mother supposed to give birth to a child and lookafter it irrespective of what abnormality the baby might have? In fear of not being able to give light, should the sun be compelled to set even before it's risen?

Hello stranger!

hello_stranger

Ok tell me are you the kind of person who freaks out when you meet someone totally different to your familiar 4 walls? The point of this post is to make you realise that being 'strange' in maybe color, culture, attitude, views, nature, age, career, marital status etc does not mean he/she is not worth getting to know. Alot of people even subtly refuse to know someone else unless they share atleast one element of their lives...for example, perhaps you only mingle with the singles :). Perhaps you only mix with your age group or even your color...or even someone who is from your country. But there's so much to learn from people of all kinds and all traits. One example is my friendship with a very old Aussie lady - she lives next door to where I used to live before. Although she is in her late 70s, her heart is only 16yrs old! She was an absolute inspiration to me with her laughs, happy nature and the vast knowledge that she blessed me with. She used to teach me how to cook pasta the Italian way and today I'm an expert in it :) She used to teach me how to save money when buying shoes and certain cosmetics and how to shop wisely in general. Oh the great lessons I learnt from knowing her!

What I'm trying to convey is this: don't look too far for an inspirational friend and don't limit the spectrum to what you are already and what you already know. Because he/she might be that 50yr old Chinese lady in the grocery store or your neighbor who works as a garbage-collector or your 5yr old nephew that you never really paid attention to just because they didnt fall in your designated psyche of friends. Every stranger can be an inspiration in some unique way that would help you to grow, only if you open the gates to your heart. Have you ever let a stranger teach you about the world?

Till death do us part...

I was reading an article where it stated that the latest trend among couples in the US is changing their wedding vows to suit their preferences. This shift from traditional vows to something personally fitting could very well be due to the fact that many marriages in this era end up in bitter divorces or separations that end up in lengthy legal battles to settle scores. The traditional upto-the-grave vow 'Till death do us part' is now being rapidly altered to vows like 'For as long as we continue to love each other', 'For as long as our love shall last', 'For as long as our marriage shall serve the greatest good' and even 'Until our time together is over'. Now some may see this as quite realistic because nowadays almost everything is being altered to adjust to the rapidly changing social trends, hence it's a tad unrealistic to make such a 'grave' promise :) that one may not be able to keep. Also people come from different backgrounds and have various experiences that lead them to have different beliefs. However I say this switch is a sure recipe for failure. My point is that if you want to alter the traditional vow that has been there for so many centuries to something new that keeps you on the safe side, then is there real love in it at all? I think that's being cautious while expecting disaster, isn't it? Love is such a sacred feeling and marriage is a sacred bond knitted by that love and continues to be knitted as years pass by, through both good and bad times. Now I do understand that nothing is certain in life and people change too. However changing the wedding vows to be on the safe side even before you have tread the shores of married life is like taking Panadol before u get the flu :) It's keeping yourself well wide open incase it doesn't work - isn't that like being noncommital in a committed relationship?

Anyways I also read about a newly-married couple who changed the traditional vow to a breath-taking 'For all the days of our lives'! The bride stated 'I didn't want us to say 'until death do us part', I believe in heaven and that we will be together after we die. I kind of went the other way'. And she is no love-fool because she is a matured lady and is a Psychology student (Phd) at a reputed university in the US. So yes there are people who go to the other extreme too and I personally think that they are the ones who are really in love and understand the depth of marriage, even if their marriage failed 2years later. What matters is that right now you feel completely committed to that person because you're going to marry him/her!

I know that Hindu/Buddhist and most other weddings don't include verbal vows but what are your thoughts on this according to your cultural wedding customs? Should people go and change traditional vows to suit the times and personal preferences or should they say 'till death do us part' and stick by that even when they are 75 and may have to puke before thinking of a romantic night-out..lol no offense to anyone, just a wicked joke :) Shower me with your wisdom now.

Thoughts of you...

Thoughts_of_you


This is a dedication to all my lovely blog mates who are far away from me in Kilometers, yet so very close in Heartbeats...

Without you guys I would be nothing. Because I value my thoughts and beliefs, and to have you all stoppping here daily and enlightening me with your thoughts and beliefs that help me grow in many ways, is a golden blessing I have been showered with. To have you as mates (whether in real or online) in an otherwise boring world, is truly inspirational and makes my life worthwhile living! I truly look forward to reading my blog everyday and indulge in so many precious moments of joy while glancing at every single fingerprint of love, respect and friendship that all of you leave here. It's a priceless feeling!

THANKS and HUGGGGZ to (in no particular order)

NV,Pearly,Saby,Dewdy,m000nie,z000nie,Icy,Pari,Tanvi,Puneet,

Hagrid,Pithaly,Misty,Gaurav,Dawn,Anna,Sebzz,Chikka,

Fira,v000nie,p000nie,FM,Ash,Manish,Vinu,Vivhyd,Jay,

Justin,Autumn,Janice,South,Gomess,Strawy,Amu,Kroopa,

Julia,Tally,Caraf,Paul,Kerry,Miranda,Kitten,Chick,

Prakash, Wanderer,Psycho, Tree,Deips,RamSaran,

Avik, Stud,RexVenom,Priti and Footsi...

and all the other mates from all over the globe who radiate their wisdom for a precious minute or two at my online home.

I know where you were last night...

Have you ever cheated on your partner or have you ever been the other woman/man? Don't get me wrong, I have a valuable objective behind this post. It's not just for laughs, it's also to make you come to terms with it and move on with your life, that's if it was in the past :). But f you're engaged in it right now, you might want to re-consider what you're doing, I mean really think about it, it's consequences and take a decision that may make life better for everyone involved.

If you're not the cheater, then still don't be too quick to judge - instead of blaming and labeling others that inescapably deters them from looking deeper into the problem and trying to resolve it before it recurs with another person, try to understand why people cheat. Maybe it's really your actions that pushed your partner to brink of tempation! If your partner came and told you 'I cheated on you because you're boring/narrow-minded/unattractive/sexually-unsatisfying...' would you try and listen carefully rather than pointing the finger at him/her? The one being cheated always says "I'm not wrong, I'm not the one who cheated therefore I don't need to change"! Well then more cheating goes on and more heart-break continues...and the problem remains unfixed.

So let's find out why people cheat. Pyschologists say "it all comes down to two basic drives: the physical sexual drive and the emotional need . People usually cheat because there is a conflict between their physical(eg:No longer finding partner sexy or attractive ) and emotional desires(eg:Fulfilling something perceived to be missing in current relationship ).In general, each person is different, but it is generally the physical sexual drive that dominates a person's actions. Why? Because this drive has been present in human behavior for millions of years. Whereas the emotional monogamous need has only been around for a few thousand years, obviously a few thousand years of emotional needs will not overcome millions of years of one's evolutionary sexual drive! Humans are not monogamous by nature and when we ultimately choose to be faithful without the right conditions in place , we are setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. Cheating is simple; a relationship is more complicated. Cheating usually offers instant gratification, physically and emotionally. A relationship requires lots of maintenance. Giving it care and attention along with trust and communication will continuously help both people grow".

So there, that's the crux of cheating. Remember if you become involved with another person, you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest. Building lie upon lie will only hurt everyone involved. Think carefully before seeking happiness(which may very well be temporary) with another person. Also, remember that the new person will require just as much maintenance. No matter how green the grass looks on the other side, eventually it will need to be looked after, fertilized and trimmed or before you know it you'll have weeds all over the place, which will be an extra stressful job for you to take care of. Something to think about the next time that pretty girl/cute guy at the office winks at you :)

C'mon tell me those sweet little lies....

Sultry you...

Ok guys since my latest posts have been too solemn and for Puneet's peace of mind :), I wanted to write an amusing and 'playful' post next. So dive in folks:

What exactly is flirting? The dictionary says to 'flirt' is 'to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures'. Is this what you do when you flirt with someone? But where do you draw the line before that 'playfully' becomes 'foreplay', pardon my bluntness hehe. I''ll tell you a story. Once I met one of my friends on the train and we were chatting during the trip. I know this guy is majorly attracted to me (I sensed it) :) but I have no such intentions towards him (yeah call me b##ch lol). Anyways he's a great friend and I always enjoy his 'handsome ' presence, that's about it though, I'm being honest. However he flirts with me as if his 'flirt' button gets pressed automatically when he sees me. I don't mind but on this day he crossed the limit...atleast I thought he did. That day I was suffering from a major hangover from the previous late night at my cousin's bday party. So he asked me 'how are you?' and I said 'oh I just want to sleep!'. He then asked me rather deftly and with a wicked smile, 'do you intend to sleep alone?'. I know some may see this as purely harmless flirting but I think that's checking someone out or you may call it a steamy pickup line. I mean what am I supposed to say when he asked me that? I felt like saying 'no I'd rather have my entire family in my bed' just to shut him up lol! Instead I said 'J, could you stop flirting with me like a maniac on s#x drugs'...well I really did say it and we both laughed it off - I'm glad he's a good friend I can say anything to hehehe. Don't get me wrong, I can be quite a flirt depending on the way I feel about the guy. He needs to know some magical chantings to contact that Ms.Sultry in me, till then she sleeps ;-)

So yeah back to the nitty-gritty subject of this post, what exactly is flirting and what are it's rules/limits or are there any rules/limits at all? Or does it entirely depend on the two people involved, their attraction to each other and the depth of the relationship between them? Tell me some stories where you were a victim of hillibillies flirting lol, or where you flirted with someone and put him/her in an embarassing situation...or even tell me about a situation where terrific flirting took place and it really was rewarding...

Color of the night

Last Saturday 3 of my cousins and I went for a brief drive in the city. As we drove into the city around 10:30pm we were passing Kings Cross - the red light area of Sydney. I have driven past this area many times before and have seen the ladies all dressed up (red, black, pink, purple oh so colorful!) waiting for someone to pick them up, but this time it struck a cord in me like it never did before. The society looks down upon these girls because they sell their bodies to earn a living and yeah it's disgraceful right? But is it, given the circumstances they may have faced in their lives? Do we even know their experiences or why they have chosen this avenue when there are hundreds of other jobs around? Let's be honest, you don't really KNOW the person inside that body do you? You only see a girl who stands in a street corner wearing thigh-high boots, a short skirt and bright red lipstick - and you only see a woman with no shame, no self-respect and no dignity - she's there to be sold right? I used to think like this before even up until that night when something really bothered me afterwards...my conscience. Later as I was sipping coffee with my cousins, it suddenly dawned to me that it's not these girls who are really there, it's their experiences in life that's standing in that street corner...it's the abuse they may have faced as children, wives or girlfriends that's standing right there...it's the unlucky circumstances that lead them to academically and financially destitute situations that's standing in that corner! Have you guys seen the Hindi movie Julie? It may seem too far from reality, but it's very enlightening - it gives a voice to these women. People so readily look down upon these women but each one of them has a girl deep down in them too, wanting to be heard - each one of them carry a different story. It's their very experience, not the girl, that's waiting there to be picked up. The color of the night can be very deceiving. Where there is light there is understanding...where there is darkness there is perplexity.