Thursday, May 8

1-800-Dial-A-Lifeline

Warning: Images in this post may upset some viewers!

Just yesterday one of my colleagues (my manager) who I have worked with for years had a little talk with me. He said he had some bad news, so he pulled up a pew, sat next to me and told me the most shocking piece of news that sent me into a very sad mood for the whole day. He said 'Keshi I have Cancer... ... ...was diagnosed last week and I'll be away from work for some time from the end of this month... ... ...'. What do you do when someone so close to you, someone who you have worked with for years and have loved and respected as a co-worker says this to you? I was totally saddened and at a loss for words cos I almost felt like my brother/dad saying that to me. Keshi at a loss for words? Can't be right? But yeah, I was totally grief-stricken by the news, I told him this 'I'm really sorry to hear that H, and I really don't know how to react...'. Cos seriously I wasn't prepared to hear that H would ever be sick like that! H is a very smart, outgoing, positive, bold, brave, totally funny, decent and caring humanbeing. As my immediate boss, he was more of a friend to me than a boss. We worked on alot of projects together over the years and we managed them all superbly...but I give that credit to H's brilliance and his skills in managing people and work on a humane yet professional level. He is the best I tell ya! So now he's got Cancer..at a young age, and with a wife and 2 teenage kids. This is where his life becomes a major turning point. He also told me 'It's a problem, I said to myself just GET IT FIXED'...and he smiled. Now how positive is that? I admire his courage and strength! The way he is, he's handling it quite well..though inside he must be dying a thousand deaths. Later I sent him an email telling him how I really felt about it and that I'd be there for him and his family anytime they need me. He was very glad to know that and thanked me for it, and later we cracked some jokes too. I think he felt alot better after talking about it.


Point is...now what? Life can throw shit on ya, tough battles to fight, sleepless nights, unclear paths, walls of stone in your way, unbreakable barriers, raging waves of pain...no matter what it's best to tell someone...best to confide in people you trust and know who'd understand ya...if you don't have someome like that, atleast talk to yourself. It takes a load off your mind and that helps. Talk, confide, speak up, convey, scream, be heard, cry, let it all out! I see alot of pain and suffering in Blogville...I sense alot of people sob in silence, bottling it all up. Through their words, I can sense their deep misery...their lonely battles. Through those wide smiles, I can see their tears...their untold stories. Cos I've been there too and I'm riding the deadly waves too...every single day. We all have our cross to bear. So this post is to let it all out. I'm gonna allow Anonymous comments only for this post so people can spill it all out in Anonymous form if they wish to (you can use you usual Blog IDs too, if your confident enough to say it in the open). And we can help (advise) each other in Anonymous form too. I'm taking part too. And don't worry, no one will know who you are if you're in Anonymous form, not even me. Are you lonely, angry, sad, suicidal, depressed, bored, hurt? Listen to the silence....see what it's trying to say and say it loud. Confide in each other, tell us what's making you sad, share with us your story, your secret suffering, your gulity feelings, your haunting past, your fears...convey what your heart is trying to say, give a voice to your unquiet mind, confide in each other and set yourselves free. Please note that you don't HAVE to be suicidal to take part in this post. Just share with us about anything that bothers you. I may not be a shrink but I may know how you feel, and that may truly release you. So should I offer some assistance? Confidentiality and satisfaction guaranteed! Dial now, speak, be heard and be relieved!



~~In loving memory of Dan, who committed suicide few years ago in the month of May. He was 24yrs old, an IT professional, a wonderful friend and a loving son. Dan I'm sorry I didn't have a clue that you hit a deadend. You should have shared it with me and together we could have turned it all around for ya. Miss ya mate!


Note: Please feel free to email Solitaire (check link) for professional advice, and read her current post on diagnosing depression here
.


Current Music: Confide In Me by Kylie Minogue

201 Cranium Signets:

Anonymous said...

no one understands me...I wanna die.

Anonymous said...

I am blue
I am depressed

Krystyna has stopped blogging
ditto Niki
ditti Looney

and janice
God bless her soul

Anonymous said...

I just lost my job and I feel very sad


S.

Anonymous said...

I like this post because I can say it without being judged.

I hurt someone when I was in school. I cant seem to forget that now that it always comes into my head.....

Anonymous said...

im not dep'sd but sometimes i hate this life

--someone u know very well keshi

KAYLEE said...

Now that I have cancer I am feel for him.........I know what he is going through! I am sorry for him......Thats terrible. Btw am not back blogging yet but wanted to say hi amd i miss you keshi! I am still very sore.

Anonymous said...

I went through the ringer ten years ago..everything collapsed..lost everything..
One night I even climbed up a ladder to throw a rope over the rafter in the garage.

I had absolutely nothing left to take..therefore all that I could do from that point forward was give.
What is left to fear after literally finding the end of your rope?
Nothing.
So you decide to Live, because that's all that there really is to Life.

Now I am almost embarrased to say that I have never been happier in my entire life.
I won.

Anonymous said...

great post Keshi!

i lost something very precious few years ago.. .. i was so depressed I evn bought poison to drink.. ..Im still hanging on to this life and i dont evn know why!

Why Keshi?

Alok said...

Hey there Keshi!

Well, I've had very little experience in life, and till date I've never gone through anything debilitating enough to even think of giving up. That's me, as I've said in my post, an eternal optimist.

I want to grow stronger, so that no matter what, I'll never give up on life.

I recently read this. That is a human being, that is life. Always surviving, always fighting!

Keshi said...

**no one understands me...I wanna die.

hi Anony ty for sharing ur deepest feelings with me.

no one understands any of us anyways. most of the time ppl can only listen to us and just sympathise. we all think and act differently on the same situation. So i dun blame ya. Just one thing I wanna tell ya:


do u understand urself? If so, u dun need anyone else to understand u.

Find urself and love her/him. Cos if u dont, no one else will.


*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

**and janice
God bless her soul


I feel sad abt Janice too :(


And abt ppl leaving blogville, I want u to get stronger abt it. Cos u never know when I'll leave too. Dun depend on others for ur happiness.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

S losing a job can be very hard on anyone. It happened to my friend few years ago..he was really upset. But after few months he found a great new job.

I hope the same for u. When one door closes, a new one opens. Look out for new opportunites mate.


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

Keshi,
Can you put a blurb in this post about the "Woes" blog.
I have also put up a post on Psychobabble where people can give me their email addresses and they wont be published.
I think a lot of ppl would benefit from it.

Hiren said...

great post .... and yes ... a person should talk confide etc ... but i tell you there are many who dont maybe because of lack of confidante, or maybe because lack of courage or maybe just because they dont want their sufferings to rub on their dear ones and make them unhappy ....

anyways, you are doing a very noble deed by allowing people to open up here ...

hope that at least a few of such souls will actually feel good after sharing their plight here ...

Keshi said...

**I hurt someone when I was in school. I cant seem to forget that now that it always comes into my head.....

U feeling this way abt it now shows that u r truly sorry for what happened.

Sometimes the starting point of healing is FORGIVING YOURSELF.


TC

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**im not dep'sd but sometimes i hate this life


dun we all hate this life sometimes. :) Its normal. Life is both good AND bad. We've all got to live with that mate.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Kaylz HUGZ!

I thought abt u too when he said that.

U r so brave!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**What is left to fear after literally finding the end of your rope?
Nothing.
So you decide to Live,


very well-said!


ty for sharing ur story with us. Im sure alot of ppl will read ur comment and benefit from it.


Cheers!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**Im still hanging on to this life and i dont evn know why!
Why Keshi?

Ur hanging on to this LIFE cos LIFE is the best thing u've ever experienced. Thats why. :) So dun let it go.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Alok!


**I want to grow stronger, so that no matter what, I'll never give up on life.

Im so glad :) way to be!


I'll read that link soon. TY!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Sol tnxx!

btw u can ans some ppl here too, if u wanna. Feel free to do that.

And I hv just updated this post with a link to u.

tnxx hun MWAH!


keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Hiren!

**because of lack of confidante, or maybe because lack of courage or maybe just because they dont want their sufferings to rub on their dear ones and make them unhappy ....

so true..thats why I allowed Anony comments in this post, so they can be free to express.


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

Thank you Keshi. I really hope people do write to me. I want to reach out to as many people as I can.

Nirmal's Blog said...

hey keshi....feeling sad 4 ur boss and his family..

but cant help...life is the biggest boss in our lives and we will have to accept everything thing given by it..also it can take everything...

so one thing we can do is never loose the fighting spirit which is our property..

gud work.

vishesh said...

oneday suddenly everyone will cry,
without words to match,we will die.
that day before death,
we all will reflect,
what we did,
in the life we were given,
what we did,
with the power of living.

at the hands of death,
where physical amortization
takes place,where our dirth
of manners becomes innuendo,
we all will think of what we did.

but as we live,
every second we give,
every second,
we save,we kill.
in all we try to fill
yet never listen to silence.

when we listen,
we learn,
we yearn,
we earn,
we beckon,
we understand,
and death becomes
a mere transition.

mortality is lost,
when sense of reality is found.

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

i don have anything to say more..my blog is an open diary..and the darkest chapter are closed in my personal diary..

grt wrk sissyyy...if i ever need to blast out my feelings and need ur advice..i can always comment here with a tag for ur eyes only...nd u can reply it in my mail...totaslly confidential....

Keshi said...

THANKS to you Sol!

ur doing a great job.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Nirmal!

**...life is the biggest boss in our lives and we will have to accept everything thing given by it..also it can take everything...

Thats is so very true! Life is the biggest boss of all.


ty for thinking abt my boss. yes he has that fighting spirit and I know he'll win.


HUGZ!

Keshi.

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

last time i kno u did sumthing like this..u were in hell lot of trouble....so beware of that to...ppl sumtime can be tooo stubborn to be called troubled :)

Keshi said...

WOW Vish u wrote that??

**mortality is lost,
when sense of reality is found.

So beautifully said!


Im in awe of ur wisdom at such a tender age!


Yes DEATH isnt so difficult if we LOOK and learn the reality of LIFE.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww tnxx Bro HUGZ!


**and the darkest chapter are closed in my personal diary..

u can say it here in Anonymous form. if u wish to.


TC
Keshi.

Dalicia said...

hi! keshi my close friend is diagnosed with cancer. i'm her supporter. she's not telling her family yet.

ahhh..i just want my cold to go away. and wish that everyone is nice

Keshi said...

ty Bro!

**last time i kno u did sumthing like this..u were in hell lot of trouble....so beware of that to

which one was that? I cant rem :(


**ppl sumtime can be tooo stubborn to be called troubled

yeah I know :) but I aint forcing anyone to speak up. Its totally upto them.


tnxx for being so concerend bro, HUGZ!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Dalicia hey HUGZ!

yes I read abt ur friend. Its so disheartening :(

I hv another friend who's diagnosed with Throat cancer...she's quite young too.


Keshi.

SwAtI said...

I am extremely sorry to hear about your manager's pain.. You are right! Life unexpectedly throws any damn thing at us..

I really hope he recovers well..May God give him & his family a lot of strength to tide through this rough time!!

I am really touched with this post of urs..You are doing such a beautiful thing by asking people to speak up..I respect you so much more now!! God bless ya dear!!

I often wished for such a lifeline.. There's quite a lot that I'd want to say..But that would extend into pages..

Keshi dear! I'd like to say one thing..You are helping out everyone here..But if there's smthing u wanna share or say..M der 4 ya always..!! :)

Keshi said...

Swati ty so much for thinking abt my boss. Ur so kind and caring.

Im so attached to this topic (I hv done few posts b4 roo on this subject) cos I lost Dan to suicide. No one wud hv ever imagined he was depressed! He was so fun loving, smart and had it all going for him. So from time to time I keep his memory alive thru my blog. I cant imagine a good friend of mine slipped thru my hands, just like that. He didnt tell anyone abt his misery.And that makes me so very sad and guilty.



**I often wished for such a lifeline

me too. tho Im doing this post for others, Im doing it for myself too.

u can say anything u want here in Anony form Swati..if u wish to. If u think expressing will help u. No one will know ur identity, not even me.



**..But if there's smthing u wanna share or say..M der 4 ya always

aww I know that. HUGZ n ty! Besides u hv already been there for me...u hv been a genuine reader and a friend here. And thats enough for me.


MWAH TC hun!

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

"Sometimes the starting point of healing is FORGIVING YOURSELF"

thankyou 4 that keshi.

Tarun said...

At times ... I imagine everyone in a boat that without a rudder or oars ...

Everyones having a heated collar.
Happiness is state of mind rather than state of body.

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

sissy

u remember the event wen i was getting the prize for the best comment... :|
and sume one messed up wid that....

Solitaire said...

Hey Keshi,

I put up a new post on the WOES to go along with this post. I hope people read it.

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

and abt revealing secrets...
i feel secrets are the main driving fuel in the life..if u don have deepest and darkest corridors..u wont have any excitement in ya life :P

isn't it sis :P

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

u slammed up my comment :P


lol

den wats the use of playing the role of confider :P

pithaly said...

The images did not upset at all. This did:

"I may not be a shrink but I may know how you feel, and that may truly release you."

Immature woman pretending to be mature is playing with fire :) It may, indeed, release a few. In ways you did not imagine.

Immature man not pretending to be mature. (One of two known in your universe)

Keshi said...

Anon no worries!

plz TC of urself ok?

Keshi.

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keshi said...

Tarun I really like how u put it. tnxx!

**Happiness is state of mind rather than state of body.

so true!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

o I rem that post Bro..yes. :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Sol that was a brillaint post! Very informative.

I linked that post too...in here :) Hope u dun mind.

MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

bro..

**i feel secrets are the main driving fuel in the life..if u don have deepest and darkest corridors..u wont have any excitement in ya life


I agree. But Im telling u to be Anon when revealing it :) that way no one will know its YOUR secret hehe.



Keshi.

Keshi said...

bro bro bro :)

**den wats the use of playing the role of confider

thats why I asked ya to be Anon. hehehe. Its like secret confessions.


Keshi.

Solitaire said...

@ Daydreamer,

Its really sad that you are having a tough time understanding a few of the people here in blogosphere. Each to his own but know that ratting someone out like this does no one any good.
BTW, there is NO blog devoted to anyone that I hate in blogosphere. FYI.

Thanks for reading this comment (if you did).

Keshi said...

haha Pithaly!

**Immature woman pretending to be mature is playing with fire :) It may, indeed, release a few. In ways you did not imagine.

ROFL!

o wut hv I done now! :)


Keshi.

SambY said...

i feel like this all the time...to many people in real life around me have told me that i am their inspiration...child abuse...idiotic parents... a bad omen stigma attachment..and what not...that is the only reason preventing me from doing so...and alos....ppl will say m a coward..which i am not..that is mhy no suicide for samby..or else.... it would have been a diffrent story.... i smoke so much cause of this... it numbs me off and calms me down.... i dnt feel as if m living unless m killing myslef maam keshi :-)... and well one m ore thing..lol..i love ya

Sweetstickychewy said...

Keshi you are a lovely person. And this is a wonderful post.

I loved how your boss took it to the next level in sharing with another person. Loved his approach and take on the situation. Send my love..

I like the tile of the post. :)

Lovezz..

Cinderella. said...

Girl, this is a very heart-felt gesture from you. And its heartening to see to ppl opening up.

You're a beautiful soul.
*hugs*

Solitaire said...

@ Samby,

Gimme your email address pls!!

Keshi said...

Sourish...

I hv no idea wuts going on between u and Sol. why did u write something like that abt Sol? Sol is such a wonderful, smart and beautiful girl. And such a good friend of mine as much as u r.

I was thinking u were just pulling her leg in that comment and thats why i published it...I thought u were just having fun with her??

Didnt know u were serious. Wussup? Why r u doing this to her Sourish?

Im disappointed with ya.

Im sorry I had to delete those comments after realising u were serious. Cos I dun like any of my friends being trashed in my blog. Sorry Sourish.

pls dun do that again.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sol Im sorry that for a moment I published that comment due to my ignorance in this matter.

HUGZ Im sorry!

Keshi.

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

point noted.......

since u have written a very good post and it might help people..I m not continuing the word war....

aneways leave it...lets just not destroy our relation on that..

take care

off for now

Keshi said...

Sambyyyy MWAH!


** i smoke so much cause of this... it numbs me off and calms me down.

Some ppl do that to numb the pain.

I dun think its u who need Counseling..it's ur parents. Wuts this bad-omen stigma? They need to get over that!


Plz email Sol...she'll help ya. U know that.


*HUGZ* TC!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

tnxx Amy MWAH!

xoxxxooxxox
Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Cindy MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sol I hope Samby emails ya. He's suffering, I can see that. plz help him.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

nah Sourish I need u to stop trashing Sol. She hasnt done anything to ya right? So why trash her in public like this? Thats not what a nice guy wud do right?

That was very hurtful to me too cos Sol is my good friend.

Keshi.

Solitaire said...

Thanks Keshi for standing up for me!
Hugs!!

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Keshi, you have done a wonderful thing.Sharing is a great reliever of pain deep within and many people donno how to simply pour out.Many a time even if the other party is not intersted in listening to sob stories merely letting it out to another human will be a relief..
You are doing a yeomen service by inviting people to your site and allowing them to pour out.
In my many decades of existance I have seen the worst of the things happening to me.I always pray such things should not happen to even my worst enemy.But today I accepted life as it is and ensure there is lot of laughter around
And finally God Bless you for what you are doing and let it bloom as a movement
tc
cu

Solitaire said...

@ Samby,

Don't smoke so much! Your lip color will change and your breath will stink!
Then no girl is going to want to kiss you...then how will you get that picture that you talked about in your latest pic?

Bla said...

My father died of cancer almost two years ago. It was a dark and painful period - not only during his last days, but during all the time of his illness. Some things just happen to be too damn ugly in this world, but that's how life works, I guess.

Anonymous said...

i feel lonely..i dun hv ne frnds..hv never bn in a relationshp. at times it freaks me out. coz it gets so bloody lonely.

jitendra said...

i can find a number of reasons to be sad.. but honestly, they are mere pin-pricks compared to the suffering I read/hear about. if i had to go through what my parents went through, THAT would have been tough. so i consider myself lucky (so far).

Keshi said...

Sol hey! :)

**so much! Your lip color will change and your breath will stink!
Then no girl is going to want to kiss you

haha so true!

yes Samby stop smoking cos it'll make u pink lips go blue. And we girls dun like a blue mouth with a ciggy breath yuk!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty CU HUGZ!


**In my many decades of existance I have seen the worst of the things happening to me.I always pray such things should not happen to even my worst enemy

aww..anything we can help u with?



I hv the resident shrink here too..Solitaire. u can go to her blog as well and u can email her. She's a professional.


*HUGZ* we r all in the same boat. As long as we CONFIDE in each other, lives will be saved.


TC

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Bla HUGZ!

Im so sorry to hear abt ur dad's death. It must be so hard cos it's only been 2yrs.

I can u'stand ur pain tho. One day I woke up to find out my dad dead next to me..he died overnight from a heart attack. He was only 44.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anon hey tnxx for sharing ur story with us!


**i feel lonely..i dun hv ne frnds..hv never bn in a relationshp. at times it freaks me out. coz it gets so bloody lonely.


It does...even I get very lonely sometimes. Sometimes life freaks me out. Even tho I hv had few r'ships b4, now I hv been single for a while. And that doesnt bother me tho. Cos it has only made me self-dependent and stronger.

At the end of the day we have only ourselves for our company...always rem that. if u learn to entertain yourself, u will never feel friendless and lonely.

And Im ur friend..Im here anytime u need me.

U can also talk to Solitaire...she's a shrink. I hv given her links in this post.


*HUGZ* TC Anon!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Jitterz tnxx!

**but honestly, they are mere pin-pricks compared to the suffering I read/hear about

so true!

My parents had it tougher too. Atleast I hv blog friends to share my woes with..they had no one!


Keshi.

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Thanks Keshi,If you read in my post,it was started for a very similar reason.Just wanted people to pour it out.Today in my personal id many people do write to me.Though not a professional shrink,life has taught me many things,which I share with people but mostly listen to allow them to take it out.
You ,Sol being of younger generation will do a wonderful job of helping people..keep doing
Thanks for your time God Bless
TC
CU

Red Ginger said...

hi keshi! a very nice way of bringing ppl out of their shelves..

can't gauge ur boss' trauma..but i know how his family must be feeling..my mother was diagnosed with cancer 5 years back.I was devastated when the doc confirmed it. but after a year's struggle, she finally overcame the disease.she's absltly fine now.

i can't thank enuf the ppl who held me upright through that period.

ur boss will get fine too..plz dont worry..and one thing i must say..he is lucky to have u around as a friend. cheers :)

prayers for him n his family !!

elusive said...

Am sorry for H..I hope he gets well soon :)
This post is really heartfelt..it's amazing this initiative of yours..you sure got a BIIIG heart :)
MWAAAH

I can very well see u n sol gettin flooded wit a deluge of emails n wut not..many ppl here need to be listened to and be understood..
hope ya got ur life jacket on gurlz ;)

SwAtI said...

Keshi..
There's something that I would want your opinion on..But I don't want to do it here..
So if its not much of a botheration, could u gimme ur mail id?
I am sorry to bother you like this. But I desperately need a mature piece of advice on my situation..

zombey_-/\-_ said...

blog is amzin!! :P
luv~
zombey!!

PREETI said...

Novel post...And an extremely novel idea to have Solitaire help on...I sincerely hope there r ppl who would benefit outta this...

Hmmm, cancer...Right around the time when my mum had her heart atttack, my best friend's mother was diagnosed with cancer of the rectum...She got it cuz her previous surgery at a very famous hospital here wasnt done rite...Aunty is an AMAZINGLY possitive woman and she battled thru it elegantly...i just could stare and admire...My friend was broken down completely and so was her dad...but aunty never let them be...it was amazing to see her that way...my mum is very weak and she still talks about dying...i wish people wold understand the importance of being positive, atleast considering it really has healing powers...

I think life in itself is a compilation of ups and downs...We all have like super depressed mments and then suddenly super elated moments...we have to understand this composition if wehave to survive...But in the end, itz a game...A game of survival of the fittest...physical fitness is less important as compared to mental fitneess...And the fittest would live....

nice one keshi...u n me think alike :)

luv ya!

Vrij said...

Kudos on ur endeavour... Cheers to both U and Sol :)

AmitL said...

Keshi,OMG,that's something which is always a shock when someone informs us..about cancer. It's like one's whole life coming tumbling down,without any warning.I've seen so many people pass away due to this dreaded disease,that it numbs my senses to even think about it.There was this colleague at work in my first company-one of the most active site engineers,working day and night-would get up at 12 in the night and go to a site if he remembered something..slowly but surely,the cancer finished him.But,on the other side, there've also been people who were able to fight it and survive in a much stronger way,one of them being a friend here in Dubai who,touchwood,is totally normal now and takes all precautions where food,etc is concerned.

All I can say is,pray for your colleague(I also said a silent prayer)and hope for the best-that like this friend of mine,he will be able to recover from it and lead a normal life.

Lastly,such incidents do tend to serve as a reminder of how thankful we should be,for what life has given us.All the cribbing pales in comparison to such shocks!

vishesh said...

lol...kehsi i did...btw take a look at my comment in sol's blog..

Kulpreet said...

I feel sad for Dan. Only if we talk, when down and under, and things get so much okay.

Kulz

Kulpreet said...

Frankly, I rarely get depressed though at times when things don't get the way I expected, it feels sad.

Nature, friends, love... one can turn to anyone of any or all of these to wriggle out. Hoobby is another way...

general_boy said...

Sorry to hear about H Keshi, but I hope he can fight the good fight, with help from freinds like you :).

Make sure every day counts, because you just never know...

Casperbaba said...

so true....! so very true...!
everyone has their share of pain greef and sorrows... some choose to let it out some don't.. i m in the later category.. i have always been very secretive about my struggles within... yet i have found a way to let all out. Writing. thats my medicine nd its treating me pretty well. atleast i am aware of mah sorrows, my mistakes which lead me to the sorrows... I broke a heart, and that act of mine finally crush mine into pieces.
I apologise within a zillion times yet i feel as a criminal... hell yeah i am one... yet i walk. to live nother day with a smile...

and so will your friend... just pray for him... i m doin that for him.
I am a very positive person but things have taken their toll on me. and i m brave enuff to accept dat. i might b suffring from depression. or might not.. but i am curing myself.

Tairebabs said...

Hey Keshi,

I have to say that though I have been blogging for only about a month and a half now, this post is one of the best if not the best I have come across.

Although, I like to think of myself as being a positive person, sometimes life has a way of getting you down. Sometimes its work, family even friends at times. I usually pray and my faith usually gets me through.

Jeevan said...

"if you don't have someome like that, atleast talk to yourself." This may be what give hands when confide not being able listening and understanding. On daily basis there come new and few miseries that most of the time it was inexpressive though I feel making it exist will hurt someone or even increase me emotionally. This blog is the best place I feel expressing, if not I would be ending in depression. Even thought there are some I have hide from here, which I think if it could be someone’s personal or I have no right that may hurt coming across my blog some day.

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

Take a bow. You're sincerely a beautiful woman inside out. *hugs n kisses*. I'm so glad that so many people are reaching out for help. I sincerely hope they're all benifitted from this!
Cheers, truly! :)

aravind said...

so sad.....

g-man said...

i have to disagree with you on this one. i don't think it serves a point to talk to someone, i really don't. most of the time, when someone's that depressed, talking just doesn't seem to help. and the fact that people frequently misconstrue what you're trying to say kinda rubs it in even more. i've been there quite a few times. i do open up to a few people, but i have my limits. anything that bothers me too much, i prefer to keep to myself, and to deal with it myself...i used to open up to total strangers because i knew we'd never meet. i met some of my best friends that way, but on the down side, some of them have hurt me a lot, especially after we got very very close. i'd rather be an introvert and screw my own life up rather than have someone do it for me

Clyde said...

Ok, Keshi, only for you.
Something I didnt want on blogsville but just for you.
Cancer---
Its a word, its a diagnosis, it is not a death sentence.
I have been diagnosed three times--fist time at 12yo.----got a fairly large scar from that one, smaller scar from the second and had radio and chemo for the other---and I'm still here.
I'm not frightened to die but I want to live, and they say that remaining positive helps.
So my advice for anyone--just go for it and decide to live--every day is a bonus

Anonymous said...

I am bipolar
the doc told me I will have to continue medication all my life and fortnightly visits to the doc
I cant afford it

I have extreme HIGHs
and extreme LOWs

in a HIGH state I am king
and i can get real nasty
coz i dont think of consequences

I have no fear no shame

when I am LOW I regret my words my actions

and I want to kill myself

Nadine said...

I hope and pray that all those who are feeling sad and hurt and hopeless will find hope. I pray for a new day that will change their circumstances and bring joy to their heart.

As far as your friend, I pray that he is healed. I understand what he is going through.

carolinagal said...

Sorry to hear about your boss (and friend). I hope things go well for him.

Also sorry for your friend Dan. I wish people would be more strong to get professional help before taking such drastic measures.

For Samby,

Your lips will not only turn blue like Sol said, but you WILL get cancer!!! Cigarettes have been scientifically proven to cause cancer. If you so addicted to smoking, try smoking pure tobacco once in a while. At least it is not
as harmful as the chemicals in cigarettes. Eventually, I hope you will kick the habit for good.

Pavi!!!! said...

Oh well..Wat a timing for this post!!!Can't say more than tht rite now...

Pat On Ur Back keshi..for taking up this initiative. God bless U :)

I'm so thankful i know Sol..she helps me w/o even realizing that she helps me at times!

Ria said...

Excellent post Keshi!!I love u for being such a beautiful woman....although i hav never been in such a situation which made me think of a suicide or too depressed; i can feel the pain of ppl coz i find it immensely satisfying to solve ppl's problem. I hav counselled ppl many times and hav felt happy if i hav been able to solve any of their problems.

Karthik S said...

Hi Keshi,

this is really a great post. I really appreciate your effort.

I really feel sorry about ur boss but I admire his strength.

Take care!

Cheers !!

Cinder-Single said...

I have been reading your blog for awhile and I have not commented until now!!

This post is just what the Dr ordered! I have worked the crisis lines a lot and to hear the stories come out is just So sad, yet they need to reach out and they need to be heard... I guess some nights from 8pm til midnight it is me.. I take the calls, and I helped out as much as I can.. Most of the time they just want you to listen..and that is what I am here for. I have read Soli posts and she and I are both in the same Major!!!

I look forward to come back more often!!!

G-D Bless You!!

Tuhin said...

Not here to complain, but just to say that loved reading your post. It was inspirational.

aneri_masi said...

hey dear, I don't have any story to share, but this is great!

krystyna said...

This post really touched my soul.
I understand your manager feelings and of course your feelings too, Keshi.
My little grandson through 2 years was very healthy and he had not even a cold. Now, he is almost 1 year with chemotheraphy.
It was the most shocking news and I couldn't believe still that it is leukemia.
Why? - no answer.

Life has many lessons for us.

We must be strong, and never lost our faith.

vEENs said...

I m so sorry to hear abt your manager Keshi! I felt really ad :(

This is a heartfelt gesture!

So beautiful indeed!

You r an angel nice disguise for so many!

but do take care! it is a difficult thing :)

SambY said...

vishvsambyal@gmail.com

Akshay said...

I was feeling Like shit today, after reading this I talked to a few of my friends and got it out of my system.... feels good....

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Well...cancer and death and suicide are things many of us have seen from close...they leave an indelible mark on you...but, to survive, we mercifully forget the sharpness of the loss and move on...

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Well...cancer and death and suicide are things many of us have seen from close...they leave an indelible mark on you...but, to survive, we mercifully forget the sharpness of the loss and move on...

black coffee said...

some of the comments here are so sad it brought tears to me! i don know if any of these guys will ever read my reply

but please hang in there. life is worth living! i know i am no one to judge but as a person who as seen enough death and suffering i think i can only relate!
whenevr you feel really low just try and think of the one person who you think will be affected by ur decision. it may be ur mum, dad or sister whoever that is.

i cant believe i am confiding this now but keshi, i hav felt suicidal once too. i know its not very easy to take ones life. its just a thin red line that we walk. but then thank god i realised what life wud hav bin like for mum and my sister if i had taken my life on time. thats when i decided to live. and i hav bin strong ever since!

so i guess i can understand why ppl feel suicidal and also understand why its really important that they live.

so the only advice i wud give anyone is(not professional at all) but these are matters of the heart and mind so just think of the love that shines in the eys of those who love you. that'd give you new strngth to keep living.

Macadamia The Nut said...

You're absolutely right Keshigirl! Talking to people helps clear the cobwebs. But I also believe that one should be careful in whom they confide, no?

I've met a few 'gems' who can't wait to get on the phone and spread the 'story' around :D What sweetie pies ;)

Loved your manager's attitude babe! Thats the best thing one can do for oneself. Just spend some time on self-pity/tears/rage/frustration/whatever and then move forward, to set things right. Sometimes things may look bleak, but what has to happen will happen, innit?

It's better to live life to the fullest no matter what. Shit happens - but you need to wipe the poop, spray some air freshner and move on.

I think I love myself too much to spend time on regrets ;)

Macadamia The Nut said...

P.S. Just a note for the people who've commented here...

Just remember, life's too precious to just throw away on perennial misery. There's always someone, somewhere to listen to you, or simply give you a hug. If not let me know and I'll mail you a cyber hug a day. Lol!

;)

Cheer up!

krystyna said...

Allow Anonymous comments was a good idea. You made somebody happy.

Big hugs!

*~*Sameera*~* said...

Sorry about your boss!Hope it's only the initial stage of cancer and it goes away with therapy.Hugs!

wp 2007- 08 said...

Hi Keshi

Sorry to hear about your colleague.

Once I was told I had cancer. When this happened my mind went blank. Finally, I started to think of the tests they did on me. I’m not a doctor, but I knew they did not do a test to detect the type of cancer they said I had. It turned out that I had something that was not bad.

I was happy to read that you and ‘H’ had a good laugh.

After being told she had weeks to live, a friend of mine began laughing. In fact, she literally laughed the cancer out of herself. She’s still alive and healthy.

I can’t stress enough that early detection is the key to beating cancer. Regular visits to your doctor are very important as well as self-examination. If you have a partner, let them examine you. It’s not only another chance to feel a lump, but it can also boast your sex life. Regarding one’s sex life, a good sex life is one way of protecting one against cancer—especially men.

I hope your post will help all your readers and many people beyond the scope of this blog!

Bev

KAYLEE said...

Thank you Keshi and I am very glad to have people like you in my life that are willing to let me vent about it whenever I need to hugs to ya.

Nora said...

Keshi, I'm sorry about your boss. I really just came to say hi and that I haven't forgotten you... My brother went back into hospital last week so it's been somewhat chaotic around here. Talk soon.

PS: Remember, most cancers are treatable. xx

KAYLEE said...

KESHI THIS POST IS HELLPING ME ALOT :)

Keshi said...

ty CU!

I started my blog for a reason thats very close to this topic...for myself tho.


**Though not a professional shrink,life has taught me many things,which I share with people but mostly listen to allow them to take it out.

Beautiful and so true! Life is the best teacher. And ppl who hv really learnt lessons from life can be the best teachers for others...like how u r to ur friends.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Red_Ginger WC!

**my mother was diagnosed with cancer 5 years back.I was devastated when the doc confirmed it.

Im glad that she somehow fought the battle and won it too.


*HUGZ* n ty!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Elusive!

**many ppl here need to be listened to and be understood..

thats so true. We may not always be UNDERSTOOD but it sure does feel great to know that someone is LISTENING to us.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Swati I left my email in ur blog. MWAH!

Anytime, anything for ya hun!

Keshi.

Shionge said...

Hiya Keshi,

Thank you for sharing this, I know I would be at a loss for words if my love ones/friends confide in me telling me they have cancer.

Still, I would do everything for them be it financially or emotionally. I know I would have to be strong for them.

My Mom is suffering from chronic illness and I saw my Father in ICU (China/Singapore)before he passed on so I could empathize with the pain & anguish.

Great post and a great platform for everyone here Keshi....I salute you....BIG HUGZZZZ

Keshi said...

WC Zombey and tnxx hun!

MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Preeti!

I had u in mind as I wrote this too. Cos ur collegue committed suicide last week. How sad.


**I sincerely hope there r ppl who would benefit outta this...

yes, I somehow think someone will benefit from this. Cos being in blogs and reading some ppl's words have stopped me from thinking negatively too...it has made me live many a time Preeti. So I believe in the power of blogs.


Im so sorry to hear abt ur best friend's mum. Is she ok now?

I dunno how I'd cope tho...it must be a really tough place to be at.



**...A game of survival of the fittest...physical fitness is less important as compared to mental fitneess

Spot on hun! U said it the BEST. If we lose our MENTAL fitness, no amount of physical health can save us.


*HUGZ* Im so glad to hv someone like u in my life Preeti!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Vrij n u too, for keeping me smiling :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty AmitL!

**It's like one's whole life coming tumbling down,without any warning.

I know that feeling very well.



**There was this colleague at work in my first company-one of the most active site engineers,working day and night-would get up at 12 in the night and go to a site if he remembered something..

OMG H is sooo like that too! Such a workaholic and a very smart guy too.



**slowly but surely,the cancer finished him.

Im so sorry to hear that. I felt so sad reading that.


Yes, things like this wake us up...they show us how FRAGILE life can be...and that we should take every single day as a GIFT from above. Cos we dunno wut tmrw will bring for us.


ty Amit!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Vish I read ur comment in Sol's blog. I wa surprised that u too were depressed.

but now I know the secret behind ur wisdom thats like an ocean full of precious pearls. U've walked on fire and u know the truth abt this life. U've felt it all.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Kulz!

**I feel sad for Dan. Only if we talk, when down and under, and things get so much okay.


its been few years since Dan left us for all alone here, wondering why. Trust me he's not the kind u'd even suspect wud take his own life.

My memories of Dan r still so fresh...my feelings r still raw..my grief is still brandnew...my tears for him wont stop falling.


ty n HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**I rarely get depressed

then u hv HAPPY genes. And ur lucky :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Boy ty for thinking abt Mr.H.

yes...u never know wut tmrw mite bring...even the next hour. So enjoy every MOMENT. Nothing is forever, so dun think too much abt the future. Live for TODAY.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Casperbaba WC to my world and ty!


**.. i have always been very secretive about my struggles within... yet i have found a way to let all out. Writing


me too! It really relieves alot of pain. Its my medicine too...lets say its my Pain Killer :)


I like ur attitude..I like the fact that u ACCEPT ur faults and hve learnt to FORGIVE urself. Thats the key to HEALING!

rem u've always got a friend here. keep WALKING mate!

*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Tairebabs WC n ty sweetz!


**sometimes life has a way of getting you down. Sometimes its work, family even friends at times

true...there can be alot of 'unseen' pressure that can only be FELT. And sometimes we cant handle the load.


Im glad that Praying has helped u. I sometimes talk to myself...talk to a wall even when I feel God is not there. And that helps.

TC of ur sweet self ok.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Jeevan!

Ur a person who trusts in yourself alot..and thats the key to ur happiness. And I love that quality abt ya.


*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty BW MWAH!

** I sincerely hope they're all benifitted from this!

I hope so too. I believe that Blogs hv POWER to heal...to keep us going..so I believe some ppl will def get help from this.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Aravind hey...yes its sad. but together we can survive.

Keshi.

anits said...

hi keshi..its so sad!!!! :( but i really admire his positive thinking n courage..i wish to be like that ... fight till the end!

hv a good weekend keshi

Keshi said...

aww Im sorry abt ur experiences G-man.


**i don't think it serves a point to talk to someone, i really don't. most of the time, when someone's that depressed, talking just doesn't seem to help


I had a time like that too..didnt tell anyone anything..cos no one understood me. and then I completely shut down. And I was on a very dangerous path. I cud hv killed myself too. Im not ashamed/afraid to say I was suicidal. I was at the brink of giving up...AND THATS WHEN I FOUND BLOGS.

And if I didnt write here and SHARED my thoughts/feelings with u, I'd hv been long dead!

Wut d u say abt that G-man?


:)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Clyde I cant believe it..u too?
:*( HUGZ mate! I dunno wut to say...only that UR VERY BRAVE!


**just go for it and decide to live--every day is a bonus


SO TRUE! Every sinlge day is a GIFT ppl...open ur eyes n see!

Clye Im here for ya anytime ok!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

**in a HIGH state I am king
and i can get real nasty
coz i dont think of consequences
I have no fear no shame


Hi Anon. I know who u r. And Im only trying to help u. So dun think Im being biased towards u. When u said that u can get nasty, just cos u hv Bipolar, I dun believe that. I know alot of ppl with Bipolar. They dun get nasty...just get HIGH. Dun find excuses to prove ur actions.




**when I am LOW I regret my words my actions
and I want to kill myself


Yes, that happens to Bipolar ppl. Even to ppl who dun hv Bipolar.



TC!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Nadine!

**I understand what he is going through.

I know that u know exactly wut we r talking abt.

HUGZ!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty CG MWAH!


**Also sorry for your friend Dan. I wish people would be more strong to get professional help before taking such drastic measures.

I know. But having learnt so much abt Depression (after Dan's sudden death), I realised that when ppl r severely depressed, they DONT SHOW..THEY DONT SHARE..and they think NOTHING CAN HELP THEM.


With Samby...I want his parents to open their eyes and hearts and realise wut they r doing to him!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Pavi tnxx hun!

I know..Sol does a GREAT job on a dailybasis. She makes me THINK alot.

*HUGZ* TC!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ria MWAH!

**coz i find it immensely satisfying to solve ppl's problem

yes..its the ONLY REAL HAPPINESS for me.

Im so proud of ya hun!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty so much Karthik!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

WC to my world Cinder! :)


**This post is just what the Dr ordered

aww Im glad u saw this post as a prescription hehe.

U know I myself needed this post. Im not only playing Shrink here...Im the patient too :)


Im so proud of ppl like u and Sol...Mental Health is a very dear subject to me. Cos of Dan's death.



*HUGZ* n ty! Keep coming.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Tuhin WC n ty!

U can complain all u want too :) I'll listen.


TC
Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Aneri MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Krys HUGZ!

**It was the most shocking news and I couldn't believe still that it is leukemia.
Why? - no answer.

I know the ans. Cos Kevin is an angel who's come to change all of us!

I pray for him everyday...d u know that Krys?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Veenz WB I missed ya!

Ty for thinking abt Mr.H. It means alot to me.


did ya check the previous post. I did ur tag :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Samby I hope Sol got ut email addy. Now I can email ya too.

Duncha worry abt ur parents' bad-omen stigma. Its really their problem, not YOUR's. Isnt it?

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Akdshay Im so glad!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

some things u want to say
want to tell

it has to be done annony mousely
please make annony mouuse comments a regular feature in your blog

u have moderator
u need not worry

Keshi said...

**Akshay

:)

Keshi.

Clyde said...

Hey, I'm fit and well now and ready for what life serves up.
I just have very regular check ups
I'm gonna be around to annoy people for a long time.

My father had two colon cancer operations 10 years appart and it wasnt cancer that got him.

I loved my brother's answer when they told him he only had a 10% chance of living-----he said "I've backed plenty of 10 to 1 winners before, let's see if I can get another one"

Cinder-Single said...

Thanks for the welcome, I have been seeing you around on Cynical Bastard (jays) blog and Samby's!!! Glad to be here and come to mine anytime!!!

Shalom

Keshi said...

ty Sucharita!

**but, to survive, we mercifully forget the sharpness of the loss and move on...


definitely! Humans' ultimate goal is to SURVIVE.


Keshi.

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna be around to annoy people for a long time.


Count me in too Clyde
love u

Keshi said...

Black_Coffee Im so proud of ya hun!

To share ur worst fears in a public blog like this is VERY BRAVE. I commend ya for that. U hv a beautiful heart cos u wanted ppl here to learn from ur darkest experiences. I hv more respect for ya now. HUGZ n TY!



**but then thank god i realised what life wud hav bin like for mum and my sister if i had taken my life on time. thats when i decided to live

OMG this is the story of my life too! How did u know? :) Im not ashamed/afraid to tell u all that I hv been there too. I was at the brink of giving up..I hated this life. It was like I knew EVERYTHING..life was too PREDICTIBLE...to fucked up. And I had nothing NEW to look forward to. I was down in the dumps. I was a dead woman walking. But something stops me from takin my life each time..MY MUM's EYES.


Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Kevin is an inspiration to all cancer patients

and Kaylee too

Kevin is able to laff and smile
and Kaylee too


I sure hope Kaylee dont stop blogging

when I am LOW
I visit Kayleee

and I learn how to cope
with my bipolar

Keshi said...

hey Maca tnxx hun!

**I've met a few 'gems' who can't wait to get on the phone and spread the 'story' around :D What sweetie pies

I totally agree. There r some ppl waiting to laugh at ya when u fall down. I usually know who I can trust. And u'd be surprised to hear that I trust my blogmates more than some ppl in my life. :)



**Sometimes things may look bleak, but what has to happen will happen, innit?

So true! I believe whats gonna happen will happen, so dun sweat. Just enjoy this moment.


I like ur attitude girl. LOL @poop line. GOOD ONE! I'll always rem that :)

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

**There's always someone, somewhere to listen to you, or simply give you a hug.

TY Maca! Thats so true! There's always someone out there who will just LISTEN to wut u have to say. So don't GIVE UP easily ppl.



**If not let me know and I'll mail you a cyber hug a day.

aww thats why I hug ppl all the time here :)


*HUGZ* to ya!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hehe Krys ty HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Sameera, tnxx n HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Bev!

OMG u too? Im so glad it was malignant. HUGZ God bless ya!


Im so happy ur friend has such a positive attitude abt life. No wonder she survived!



**I was happy to read that you and ‘H’ had a good laugh.

LOL yes..cos I sent him an email with a beautiful Tulip pic...and he replied bak saying

'wut only Tulips?, where r the Naked Ladies?'


ROFL thats so H!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylz MWAH!

Ur always WC here..to vent n all. :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Nora MWAH!

Im sending alot of angel belssings and positive vibes to ur brother. Tell him that I love him, tho he doesnt know me hehe.

TC
Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Shionge!

**Still, I would do everything for them be it financially or emotionally. I know I would have to be strong for them.


That I know is SHIONGE! u hv a beautiful and giving personality.


Life is nothing w.o. Giving.


Im so sorry to hear abt ur mum...I hope she's coping well?

Abt ur dad..i rem u blog abt him sometimes. I hate to see loved-ones at the ICU. I know how u feel hun.

And u know my dad didnt even hv a chance...he just died overnight in his sleep, at home, next to me.


*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Fight to the end indeedz Anits! ty n HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anon tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Clyde thats good to know :)


**"I've backed plenty of 10 to 1 winners before, let's see if I can get another one"

hahaha smartarse he is!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Cinder tnxx hun and I shall visit ya soon.

:)

Keshi.

KAYLEE said...

THank you :) updated my blog :)

Anonymous said...

when u start feeling sorry for your self ..

if u think God has given u a bum deal ..

go here

KAYLEE said...

I am feeelng a little bit better now keshi :)

Keshi said...

Way to go Kaylz HUGZ! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anon tnxx I'll check it out soon.

Keshi.

The Phosgene Kid said...

Sad that. More evidence of the loving father the religious types go on about. There's always the chance she can over come it, but it'll be a fight. I don't think I am strong enough to weather those waters.

Try to have a good weekend despite all the gloom...

anonymouse oldie said...

I think too much consolation may make this poor bloke feel worse.
I don't recall much sympathy being generated towards myself when I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer back in 92. My wife was the first to know, and the info was not given to other friends and family, however, the leak occured when a family member recieved a call meant for me; from the oncology dept at the hospital. I started my treatment on my 66th birthday 16:7:92, and although the treatment
really made me feel sick and my netherparts so sore it was a surprise to know after a couple of months later my family jewels experienced a revival, although things have been a trifle quiet lately.
So you guys out there when you are pointing your percy at the porcelain and the flow don't go as good as it used to, or if you are rising from your slumbers at 330:am for a tom tiddle, its a clear indication you should pop along and see your friendly witch doctor or health professional.
Keshi, for your dear friend, I can only wish he survives his ordeal, with good luck and encouragement from his fam & friends he can make it work.

Vest said...

Here is a true but funny story.

I had just finished having radiation treatment on my prostate gland; at the end of August 92 and at the time of the first move, and still feeling quite a bit crook down below. Our sons were busily helping out, when I received a call for new business. All of the available vehicles were being used except the one with a dodgy starting motor, this I eventually got under way and arrived at Mrs Jodie Banks house shortly after. Jodie we had known for a number of years as a client, but today I was there to give a quote to her next-door neighbour; who had given Jodie the keys to her house. When I called, a smiling Jodie who was well groomed and deserving of another look; welcomed me by shaking my hand as if I was the bloke from Lotto. In the past, I had not concerned myself about her, Jodie was a woman of forty maybe and always polite and well-mannered, but had never been alone with me before.
On mounting the steps to her neighbour's house Jodie held my hand, which she did not release even when unlocking the door. While walking around she explained that her sister in law; her neighbour, had been held up and would I mind waiting about half an hour, I agreed I would and sat on the sofa to write the estimate. I was then told she was feeling very romantic being alone with me in a strange house, as she started to grope and pull me towards her the outer gate bell rang, she swore and said ignore it and kissed me passionately. The gate bell rang again, and she swore again, got off me, and then noticed her Mother in law at the gate. Jodie panicked, and then said, “Go and drive around the back of the house, then leave after Ma in law enters.” This was easier said than done, as it took at least two minutes to get the car started while Jodie’s mother in law stood looking at the lipstick smears all over my face.
The following morning in answer to a telephone call from Jodie’s irate husband, I explained that my testimonials had been recently put out of order and gave the reason why they would not have passed scrutiny, or have the qualifications to perform such a task you have mentioned. Nothing more was heard after I suggested his wife could be charged with sexual assault; if he continued his tirade, but the two jobs were lost. In the Navy, being involved in such a situation would be called a ‘Green Rub’.
A few days after the incident just mentioned, I rang Jodie Banks at her home from a public telephone. Being in luck it was she who answered. I was very polite and told her I had no intention of giving the incident a public airing which would only destroy our images within our families. Secretly, I stated, you raised my ego if nothing else and I still hold you in high esteem as a person of quality. Jodie replying was gushing with apologies and stated her misery meter was running on high until now and thanked me for phoning. Jodie went on to say that her husband had suggested she see a Psychiatrist, but she had retaliated and suggested he see a sex therapist. I suggested they both kiss and make up and wished her good luck and goodbye.

Ghost Particle said...

sigh

PrAcHi said...

Hi Keshi.. That’s sad to hear abt ur colleague. When I hear something like this, I always think that people have so many problems in there life. And sometimes I give unnecessary importance to some silly things in my life.. Which can not be said as problems as well!
May God give all the strength to ur friend to fight with the decease.

SambY said...

haha my shrts making u salivate so much...lol..i dnt wanna put u thru trouble...so i guess i take my shirt off...:P

g-man said...

i do open up...but not when it comes to the things that are really, well, i think you know what i mean. i was quite suicidal too, enough to attempt it once. why am i still here? the rope snapped. and nobody at home knows about it. i do blog when i'm frustrated, and vent a little, but still i have my limits.

to your question, i'd say that you just need to vent out the little things so that you don't get frustrated enough to do something stupid when the really big ones come up. pardon me if i'm not making any sense, i'm quite drunk. and my name is ganesh :)

ceedy said...

was away - so catching up....

you know you yourself are doing a wonderful job....making people aware through your writings of the nuances of life....

keep up the good work

and as for solitaire...i guess she is placed so well stratigically in this "new age" where she can understand the current issues and deal with them with a young and unbiased mind....

kudos to your friendship!

Beach Bum said...

After my Uncle Paul pased away in February I had a serious bout with depresion. I struggled with it until I finally went to counceling to talk with someone who I felt actually listened to me. Doing better and I pray I never get that bad again.

Solitaire said...

@ Samby,

Please do not take your shirt off.
I will die!

Alok said...

one of ur best posts Keshi in tackling an issue that everyone thinks is personal and their own ... forgetting the the person next to him is thinking on the same lines ...


"Its a problem, get is fixed" ... it is this attitude tht will see him thru this problem ... We all would be praying for him ....


Alok

sid said...

Fall short of words to say anything about this post-If I had to it would be-gr8 work-gr8 effort-gr8 thot-n god bless!

Keshi said...

ty Phos!

**More evidence of the loving father the religious types go on about.

hehehe..

btw its not a SHE..it's a HE. :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Anon tnxx for sharing that with us :)

** after a couple of months later my family jewels experienced a revival,

lol funny but ur a brave person. Kudos to ya!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Vesty u told me that story. Once before. Very brave lady there! :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Ghosty? :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww tnxx Prachi!

**And sometimes I give unnecessary importance to some silly things in my life

I used to be like that. lil bit even now :) but Im much better than before. And when I see ppl ard me complaining abt stupid things, I get soooooo angry!



*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Samby plz dun take ur shirt off, cos if u did, I'd have to dial 000.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

haha Ganesh r ya still drunk? :)

**the rope snapped. and nobody at home knows about it

aww that was very sad to read. HUGZ! If u feel like that ever again, think of KESHI. ok? And DONT do it!


I really respect ya for opening up here and telling us ur darkest secrets. Its the best way to come out of it too...when u do tell, that means ur prepared to SURVIVE.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww tnxx Ceedy!

:)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty BB!

yes I rem that period.

**finally went to counceling to talk with someone who I felt actually listened to me

Im so glad. Thats what I mean...when u talk to someone (the right one tho) u feel like ur burden's being lifted.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

lol hahaha Sol! Thats exactly wut I told him. If he took off his shirt I'd have to dial a Lifeline for sure! HAHA!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Alok!

**forgetting the the person next to him is thinking on the same lines ...

exactly! Just that no one tells.

Keshi.