Wednesday, May 28

A Reason To Live

I tried and I tried and I tried...but I only died each time. There are days when those memories haunt me til my blood became water. The day I found you dead....that morning when my Universe collapsed. The pain that came from my heart being pierced til it was scarred beyond recognition. When the petals of my life fell down one by one. How my tears turned out to be powerless...how those trails of tears on my cheeks had a deeper meaning...how nothing I did could bring you back. That day, when all the stars in the sky cried too. When your laughter faded away in the cold cold breeze...when your touch ceased to exist...when your love was the only thing left behind. That day when I started to learn how empty it is to be living without my father. How I'd dream of finding you in heaven and calling out your name. When life taught me that people don't last forever...and that some people can never be replaced by others. When I realised that you'd want me to go on somehow...that what you wanted from me is to be a champion against tragedy. You wanted me to find a reason to live. That day, when my eyes started to see beyond what the naked eyes could see. That day when the only reason I live for became you.


A teardrop from heaven
A distant voice from the past
A love that never dies
A spirit burning so fast...
A hug in silence
A calling from afar
A touch that is felt
A soul with a scar...


Current Music: The Reason by Hoobastank

160 Cranium Signets:

Asha said...

Live..is something we must do Keshi,like it or not, for ourselves and others who are left behind!
Is it your dad's anniversary? Hugs to you. I know we daughters miss our dads most. Lots of love from me to you!:))

indicaspecies said...

I like The Reason by Hoobastank. Hey, I hope all's well with you. Take care.

By the way, the picture of Plumeria is beautiful. I like those flowers, it is also called Frangipani, and is a common sight in the coastal areas of Sri Lanka.:)

crasiezt said...

Painfully beautiful...

Lena said...

a very touching post, keshi :)
and i believe you are being a fighter, struggling against all the tragedies that happen in your life, just like he would love you to so :)

Take care,
have a wonderful day :)

d SINNER!!! said...

:)once we find the reason, its easy enough to live...

aint it?

Pavi!!!! said...

M speechless keshi...Its hard to say anything...even the "i'm sorry for ur loss" followed by encouraging words sounds so lame when the loss is big as this.

N isnt it amazing how sorrow n sadness brings out the best writer in almost every1.

well...my turn to give u hugs, a warm one.the last few days hvn't been easy on u..hope this phase goes away sooooooon!

Alok said...

Hey man,
May your father Rest In Peace.

As always, I'll just say: You write brilliantly.

the stygian sailor said...

is this about your dad?
why are you feeling the blues lately?
none of my business though.
cheer up girl!
btw, how was your FUKING trip? :)

g-man said...

the only person i've lost who was that close to me was my grandpa. i was 5 when he died. i came back home from school. the door was open and he was the first thing i saw. i think about him a lot, its hard not to, he was my best friend, and was always there. he picked me up from school, took me out, introduced me to all his friends, we did everything together. when i do think about him, i think about the time we spent having fun, i think about his smile, i think about the stories he used to tell me, i think about all the hours we spent playing kabaddi. i think he'd want me to remember that we were inseparable and nothing could ever change that. even now we are, because i can be with him anytime i want, i just need to think about him. its bad that he can't be here now, but some things just happen, and this is all i can do about it. i know its okay to cry, but i can't. because every time i think about him, it brings a smile to my face

i don't know what to say to you...here's a *hug* from me. tc, i'll cya

Hiren said...

just said this to Solitaire ...a cliche statement but so very very true that "GOD calls upon good people early to his world ..."

m sure your dad must be around you all the time blessing you and taking care of you ....

Beauty and the BEast said...

*hug* in the classic Munnabhai MBBS Funda I am crossing all my fingers and hoping you feel better!
Its a wonderful tribute to a father, that a daughter does not become a success in life by moving, with little or no thoughts to him; but journeys onwards with his memories as her strength.

La vida Loca said...

its nice and sad all at once

tulipspeaks said...

**hugs for keshi!



ammu.

Macadamia The Nut said...

Keshigirl... I don't need to tell you the words... I feel it..
Now I'm unbearably sad again. Sometimes its so unfair, no?

Phoenix said...

Hold on...

SambY said...

Noooooooooooo Keshi ma'am what is this...whts up huh... U all sad n senti....why ??? Leave it...There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. So dnt feel bad for the things gone by..and dont get too expectful thinking of things too come..just lay back and enjoy... and be in touch with samby... thts is important..LOL...

i hope i made u smile..or feel better..take care.!!!

Ghost Particle said...

the reason to be alive, i believe, is because we are already born in this world. everything else does not matter more. :)

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

:'(

All i want to say u

love u loads sissy

*hugz*

just mad said...

Hey,

Am the first one to comment !

Cheers !

Find a reason to live
and
live for a reason

:)

Cinderella. said...

Girl...this is heart-wrenching. And reminds me so much of a person. So very much.

Sometimes we are around ppl, and we love being around them...but seldom tell them that. And then they walk away without knowing how you felt about them. And then all we are left with is regrets.

**When life taught me that people don't last forever...and that some people can never be replaced by others.**

I miss that someone so much now. But there's nothing that can really be done.

A very touching post sweets. Love you.

krystyna said...

Hi Keshi!
The Universe has plans for each of us. Nothing happens without a purpose.
(really... I don't understand it very often)

May everyday your heart be in harmony with a song from the Universe!
/I wish myself too/

Princess Mia said...

Ah, that was touching n i can say straight from the heart.

A alright dear? take care.

*hugs*

Solitaire said...

Aww Keshi.
Did my post on Calm Frenzies trigger this one?
Hugs!

Coco said...

Life!
A reason to live? LOVE!

Not sure how to take the post...
is it about your dad, or are you just thinking about "life"?

Hugs & Blessings

ps
just like my parents...
your dad is also always with you!

Shionge said...

Live life to the fullest that's my motto unfortunately it has always been a challenge to make others realise this ;(

Keshi said...

tnxx Asha!

nah its not his anniv..but there's not a single day that I dun think of him.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Indica!

** is also called Frangipani, and is a common sight in the coastal areas of Sri Lanka

yep...Sri Lanka is full of Frangipanni (also called Temple flowers)..it's my fav flower next to the Lotus. Thats also very common in SL. :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

HUGS Crasiezt!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Lena!

**and i believe you are being a fighter, struggling against all the tragedies that happen in your life

yes...we r all like that. we somehow fight, struggle to survive..cos we all hv a reason to live.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Sinner..I found my reason, and thats my dad's memory. Nothing else matters to me. What I am today owes to the power of his memory.

tnxx hun! And I love ur new profile pic. WOW!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Alok! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Stygian its abt my dad. He's the only reason I live for right now...his memory. Nothing else, nobody else matters to me..not even myself.

He was a great man...one who helped so many ppl and expected NOTHING in return. And he was just 44 when he died in his sleep. I dun ever wanna forget him...thats why I relive his memories thru my blog. Until I die, I will never let his memory fade.


**why are you feeling the blues lately?

I dunno. I hv realised I cant trust anyone anymore. Not even in Blogville. I used to hv alot of faith in this place. Not anymore. Im beginning to detach from here too. Except for few ppl here, the rest r bloody fake. I dunno...lets see how I go.


hehe my holiday to Austria is yet to come :)


tnxx mate!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

G-man ur comment was a tear-jerker. HUGZ!


** i think about him a lot, its hard not to, he was my best friend, and was always there.

beautiful memories!


I smile too..when I think of my dad...but most of it is full of pain. Cos I miss him so much...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Hiren and I believe in that too.


**"GOD calls upon good people early to his world ..."

altho, that means, God is not doing such a great job. :)


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Beauty! I love that special HUG from ya :):) made me smile.


**Its a wonderful tribute to a father, that a daughter does not become a success in life by moving, with little or no thoughts to him; but journeys onwards with his memories as her strength.


U said it the best. yes, all of what I am today, I owe em to my dad's memory. None of this matters much to me cos the only thing that drove me in becoming who I am today is HIS MEMORY. And from time to time, I stop and say Hello to him. Cos I can never forget.

ty so much for u'standing my feelings so well. *HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

:) LaVida it is.

tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Ammu I know ur always here when I need ya. HUGZ n ty!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Maca awww...Im sorry to stir some sadness in ya again. HUGZ!

Its unfair yes...its terribly unfair.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Phoenix MWAH!

Im holding on to his memory that helps me to hold on to my life.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Samby Im just thinking abt my dad...there r days that forces me to write something abt him...to keep his memory alive.

HUGZ n ty!

Keshi.

Anu said...

hi, was bloghopping and came across your post.My cousin passed away a couple of weeks back and it still reduces me to tears. But now I look around me with different eyes,its as if I am experiencing life for him.. hopefully the pain will recede for you with time

aneri_masi said...

this is so sad :( stuff like this is what I stubbornly try not to think about :( i guess its easy for me to say, not so easy for you to do!

fingers said...

I'm sure he's very proud of the living legacy he left behind, Keshi...

Keshi said...

hey Ghosty :)

**the reason to be alive, i believe, is because we are already born in this world

nah, then that wud be just EXISTING..not LIVING.


The reason for my LIVING is my dad's memory. Nothing else matters to me.


Keshi.

carolinagal said...

Oh Kesh..so sorry to hear you are hurting :(
I won't say that don't be sad,,because sometimes you need to be sad, in order to be happy again.

Here is a huge hug from me and lots of kisses from Spencer. Oxxxxxxx

Keshi said...

Bro luv ya too!

where hv ya been? wussup? u ok?

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey JM :)

**Find a reason to live
and
live for a reason


yeah and that reason is my dad..for me.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Cindy HUGZ!

**I miss that someone so much now. But there's nothing that can really be done.

exactly how I feel. helpless.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Krys MWAH!

yeah I agree with ya..everything has a purpose...even Buddhism teaches that.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Mia WC n ty!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Sol there's not a day that I dun think of my dad. Just that I dun write abt him everyday.

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Coco!

**is it about your dad, or are you just thinking about "life"?

Its abt my dad. I said it in the post :)

*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Keshi said...

true Shionge.

When we lose imp parts of our lives, we realise that life should be lived to the fullest..cos we dunno when someone else's (a dear one's) number will be up.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Anu WC hun.


**My cousin passed away a couple of weeks back and it still reduces me to tears.

Im so sorry to hear that. HUGZ! It must be so very hard to lose a cuz!



**But now I look around me with different eyes,its as if I am experiencing life for him..

exactly wut I meant by this post! U nailed it.

The reason to live now is my dad..like it is your cuz for u. Cos life is so short and we must LIVE for those who left life early.


*MWAH* God bless ur cuzn's spirit!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

tnxx Aneri.

Its hard not to think abt my dad. Im a part of him, as much as he is a part of me.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Fingers HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

CG WB hun MWAH!

and ty awww...

Im so glad ur bak. I missed ya! Hope u had a good break?


Keshi.

WP 2007 - 08 said...

Hi Keshi

On the heels of the anniversary of the disappearance of a friend whose body was later found and with thoughts of the loss of my parents, we laid to rest another friend today. Sometimes death can be a blessing when the person is suffering. Our friend was suffering for what seem like an eternity. In fact somewhere along way we lost our friend when dementia reared its ugly head, causing him to forget his family and friends. To see a person waste away is very sorrowful to watch.

I’m going to write a post dealing with our friend who died last year. There have been no answers to what happened to him. Investigators have exhausted all the avenues. The investigation has puzzled the top forensic experts in the world. Maybe it will be a‘Death with No Answers’.

I know how sad the loss of your father is for you. All we can do is be strong and keep living our lives the best we can.


Bev

the stygian sailor said...

*I hv realised I cant trust anyone anymore. Not even in Blogville.*
this sounds cynical, but true- "dont trust anyone but yourself". people tend to do the opposite.

*Im beginning to detach from here too.*
if you detach, who will i fight with?

anits said...

hi keshi..touching post :( nothing in this world is permenant except for GOD'S LOVE

Lets live our life! cheer up gal!
luv ya!

anits

Keshi said...

Aww Bev Im very sorry to hear abt ur friend's passing. HUGZ!

** To see a person waste away is very sorrowful to watch.

I agree..its the hardest thing to do!


**The investigation has puzzled the top forensic experts in the world. Maybe it will be a‘Death with No Answers’.

I rem him. May his soul RIP!


*MWAH* Bev!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Stygian :)

And u were rite abt the net. Alot of ppl fake their feelings here. Some come as friends but in real they r enemies.



**if you detach, who will i fight with?

haha dun worry, I aint attaining Nirvana :) I'll still fight..u know me na. LOL!

or else, when u piss me off, I'll say 'om Stygian Stygian Stygian!' and keep quiet.

:)

Keshi.

the stygian sailor said...

or you can can detach in Sailor style
"a bottle o rum"

Keshi said...

ty Anits!

**nothing in this world is permenant except for GOD'S LOVE


true..


Keshi.

Keshi said...

now that is pure Nirvana @Stygian.

:)

Keshi.

Ankur said...

keshigirl... i dont know how it feels and i really dont want to reduce ur love and pain by sayin anything abt it!!!

Dont reduce the love n pain i wud say... keep loving him, he has made u a better person even if he is not there... thank him at every step :)

I know that ur dad is watching u from heaven, and feeling very proud that he has a girl like u...
And dont worry, when u feel like missing him just look at the heavenly skies and u will c him... blossoming all his love on u... :)

I wish peace to his soul!!!


Take CAre and keep smiling Keshigirl!!! :)
*Hugzzzz*
Cheers!!!

Nirmal's Blog said...

hey keshi.......dont know wat 2 say.....be strong.....he wud luv 2 c tat from heaven...

Pri said...

the verse in the end in beautiful!!
dont be sad, dear...like i always say the people we love, no matter how far, are just a dream away :)

(((hugzzz)))

The Phosgene Kid said...

We pick up a lot of scars in life, not all are on the outside.

Neeku said...

First time on your blog... (I guess) somehow this post reminded me of someone close to heart.

beautifully written :)

Anjuli said...

I got tears in my eyes reading this...

hope u feeling better now...

HUGS!

SwAtI said...

Hey Keshi!!

I really don't know what to say..
I lost someone very precious last year on 31st May.. Each day I wish I get to see him for jst one moment.hug him n say I love u..
I can imagine what you must v been goin thru all these years..
Lots of hugs to u!
God bless u!!
Take care of urself!

Donn said...

Exactly 28 years ago today I lost my Father.

Thank You.
XXX OOO

Whitesnake said...

For all that we live by and all that we believe it seems to me we can not live without the pain.

It makes us better people sometimes......

Maybe a reminder of our mortality?

Tys on Ice said...

hey buddy....u ok?

he would be proud of u...

black coffee said...

The day that i found him dead was not the saddest day for me.. the day i found the reason to live his dreams was the day i was really haunted..

i stil yearn for the day when i can say,"Appa I wish you could see me today and think I never knew my lil daughter could make me so proud"..
Cos my dad was someone i really loved but always felt i din know if he really loved me as much.. my dad favored my sister more than me.. that always hurt but still my love for him is enough for the both of us.. :)

I know he must hav loved me just as much but i never got a chance to really get to know that from him!

The reason for me to keep going is the one he gave me.. to show that i don resemble him in just his looks but also in the person that he was.. sweet and caring!

I loved the post Keshi!
And I know what you mean. after all who is a better champion of tragedy but you?
**hugs**

Keshi said...

ty Pavi!


**last few days hvn't been easy on u..hope this phase goes away sooooooon

I know. Im beginning to detach from the blog world too. I dun trust anyone anymore. Alot of ppl r just fakes...


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Ankur that means alot to me!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Nirmal :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Pri!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

so true Phoso!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

WC Neeku! :) So nice to see u here.

And tnxx hun!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Anjuli HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Swati!

**I lost someone very precious last year on 31st May

*HUGZ*

That must be really tough to deal with...:(


Keshi.

Keshi said...

Donn may ur dad's soul RIP!

I will light a candle tonite.

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

so true Steve!

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Tys Im ok n u? :)

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Black_coffee I was really chuffed to read abt ur dad. ty for that! HUGZ! Nice knowing what he was like.

I dun think he loved ur sis more hunny..mebbe they were more interactive with each other than u and ur dad were. U know what I mean na..I mean I was so attached to my dad more than my sis was. Its like that, Im sure. HUGZ ur so adorable!


May ur dad's soul RIP! Im sure he knows that his kid has done really well in life and must be very proud of ya hun.

*MWAH*

Keshi.

Tarun said...

Hey Blogville Jockey ... well the post is marked for convenience of words and simplicity.
Well ... got not much to say.
Flashes a CD of old Hindi songs.
Puts it into ur Jujebox. :)
Seects the movie *Anand* and plays ...Zingaagi kaisi hai paheli hai ...
Its all about willing to let it go.

*smiles only*

Preeti said...

Time 2 :)

No matter what i say, ur pain wont be eased out...

But i know ur a strong gurl...and smart...so be good and keep goin...uv got the world behind u and the world ahead u beautiful :)

luv ya :)

Casperbaba said...

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! keshi dear....

he would be watching you from far away. Always. he feels your love for him too. carry on with his sweet memories!

god bless dear.
*hugs*

Nora said...

Beautiful post my sweet. I hope the pain has eased a little, with time...

Nora

desperado said...

He wanted you to dream big and achieve everything dear and you sure have and further will make him proud

take care dear

Keshi said...

aww Tarun...willing to let go starts with a WILL. I dun hv that will :*(

**Blogville Jockey

haha cute one!

btw I love Hindi songs...especially old romantic heart-melting ones...

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Preeti HUGZ!

And ty for take 2 :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

yes Casper I hope so too.

*HUGZ* n ty!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Nora hey HUGZ dahlin. How ur bro?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Dhruv yep...I did all that right but I still miss his presence. He didnt get to see any of my achievements and that makes me sad.

Keshi.

Tarun said...

Yeah BJ u got that right.
But the world will be continued to be divided in havs and hav nots.
I know what U going thru,I see mom also craving for the same way.
Its difficult to pull someone out of this ... but then ...
It something i feel diificult to put it in words.
Damn!!
Never mind ...

AmitL said...

Hi,Keshi..I was really touched by this post.
**that what you wanted from me is to be a champion against tragedy. You wanted me to find a reason to live.**

I think you got the answer you needed,in your own post.

You know what? It'll be the day my Mom passed away,on 31.05. And,well,I can't say anything further.Perhaps I'll post about it,perhaps not..that day was probably the worst in my life.

Cazzie!!! said...

All the reason more to do the thingsx you alkways dreamt of doing, take the words of the song and put them into action Keshi, I know you can do it...just try :) Huggs Cazzie :)

Arv said...

Hello Keshi... First visit here... found your blog through my other friends Cinderella and Single...

I can relate so to what made you write those words. I lost my Dad when I was 15 and I miss him everyday. Although it made me a better man, there is nothing better to have had him around to see the man that I have become.

A prayer for the faithful departed.

take care Keshi... Cheers...

g-man said...

sorry. didn't mean for it to be a tearjerker. i guess that was a lame attempt at trying to cheer you up.

rantravereflect said...

brought the tears in me woman- painstakingly wonderful..
n i admire ya strength to go through this..
a father means the world to a woman, and he can never be replaced, lots of love, hugs n best wishes:):)

rantravereflect said...

jus brought to mind this song called 'how to save a life' by the fray!

Macadamia The Nut said...

How feeling you today Keshigirl?
I ok ok feelingu
I thinku... maybeu
Sooper weirdu :(

Am In Trance said...

You know the IRONY of Breathin'..
Don't Ya..!!
You know the IRONY of Livin'..
Don't Ya..!!


Sometime We care about people..
We forget ourselves n' start livin for em'...
We take our heart in our hands and keep asking it..
What Next ?
What Next ??
What Next ???

Hah..!!
All We Get Are Fakes..!!
All We Get Are The Lowest Accusations We Can Ever Dream of..!!

I don't belive Our Liking Really Deserves It.. Never..
If we are true... If we are..
Ah....
We'll still die..
But with the feeling that we never did wrong...
Never.... Ever...


Am Sorry... It was me... n it noway relates to your post...

******************
Fathers... Ah.. I know what they mean to a child...
Am So Sorry For your loss dear Friend...

You need my tears ???
You need my concerns ????

Then I tell you..

Miss Him... But never Cry..
Live For Him.. But never Die..
Remember him.. But never say Bye..

Please TakeCare...
Please..

-A Friend....

Ria said...

A very touching post hun!and i knw who r u missin...but some things r jus meant to b...and v cant do anything abt it!but i m sure where ever he is, ur dad must b very proud of his little daughter for wht she is today! He's there sweetie watchin u from up there....so plz dont b sad coz he wudnt want to c u like this! hugz n lots of love!

Beach Bum said...

Keshi, my thoughts are with you. I remember your kind words when I lost my uncle and all I can say is that you will be in my prayers. Take care and hold on.

MARIA said...

Dear Keshi,
thank you for your nice visit and sweet wishes!
Have always a beautiful day!

Iceman said...

"A new blog 2 read!"

What more u could ask for?

*~*Sameera*~* said...

That was a beautiful piece!How's you? :)

aneri_masi said...

of course you won't not think of him. What I meant was that I stubbornly refuse to think of myself in your situation. I know its inevitable, but not something I wish to acknowledge :(

how you doin' today?

KP! said...

Hope your doing ok
Have good Day
Take Care keshi !!

Bla said...

This post is very sad, Keshi. And it reminds me of something from my personal experience.

Hugz.

elusive said...

am speechless..had i been thr i wuda hugged ya tight.

Pavi!!!! said...

@Keshi : Try not to take things to heart. Easier said i know.Hard to do. But hang in gurl.

i personally feel relationships are built over time...i have often felt that all the overnite friendships that is made in blogsphere n the sugar coated words that some people use is fake.

I'm not sure wat happened in ur case,but if sum1 who doesn't know u well enuf' is making comments abt u, do try to ignore them. They don't deserve so much attention n energy frm u.

Do Take care n return to ur normal self soooooon!

the stygian sailor said...

did i piss you off?
i mean talking about rum and all...
excuse my manners

sid said...

all I have to say is that...i really felt that pain...n u know why...cos u must have felt it too..and I cant empathise cos you are one person...one person who is wrth emulating...
PS: This is a really really gr8 piece!!

ghee said...

very beautiful and moving post,Keshi...sniff

yeah,lets live...to the fullest!!

btw,I have a very sexy tag for you dear.

you can find it here===>>>
http://www.akoni.info/?p=524

thanx!missyah!

ghee

Margie said...

Dearest Keshi
Sorry I have not been around, but you know I think about you and keep you in my prayers.
This post brought me to tears...it was so touching and moving!
Thank you for sharing it!

Sending lots of love to you!
HUGGGGGGGGGZ!

Margie

Kaylee said...

OMG I am in tears........Hugs to you :) but please keep holding on.............................if, I can you can tooo :)

Kaylee said...

HOW ARE YOU KESHI???????

Kristen Bjorg said...

You had a great father for 44 years,that is to me unbelievable.How GOD must love you to give you a father for all those years and love you,freckles and all.But,I trust GOD that it was best for me not to have a father like you.

Please,write about him and your relationship with him,will you?It will help you heal and it will satisfy the hunger I have to have an earthly,loving,kind and caring dad that loves me in a realistic way.

But,I'm not bitter,as I Know I have a FATHER in heaven that loves me.

Keshi said...

treu Tarun...and its a feeling thats different from person to person.

tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey AmitL tnxx!


**..that day was probably the worst in my life.

that line from u really made me very sad...for u. HUGZ Amit! I care.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty so much Caz!

I achieved alot in my life by myself...after his death. And sometimes it makes me sad that he's not here to witness any of that. I really want someone to share my achievements with...someone who really is happy for me. And he was the only one.


*HUGZ* n ty luv!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Arv hey WC here and tnxx mate!


**I lost my Dad when I was 15 and I miss him everyday.

Im so sorry to hear that. I lost him when I was 16 too...just a month short of his 44th bday.


**Although it made me a better man, there is nothing better to have had him around to see the man that I have become.

Exactly how I feel! I achieved so much alone after his death...but none of that makes me happy cos the most imp man in my life is not here to see em.


*HUGZ* Arv!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey G-man :)


** guess that was a lame attempt at trying to cheer you up.


aww its ok...tears r not something that scares me...Im used to it.


*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Kristen Bjorg said...

I'm sorry Keshi,I made a mistake,you did not have him as a father for 44 years,of course.How old are you,by the way?

I pray that I will die in my sleep,like your dad,anytime,I'm ready,right now, I look forward to dying.

Keshi said...

Rantra hey tnxx! Sorry to make ya cry tho :)


**a father means the world to a woman, and he can never be replaced

Thats so true.

I feel so empty w.o. him in my life...cos more than my mum, he's the one who was interested in my studies etc. He was always making sure I was having fun, doing my best in everything I did...most of all he taught me how to be brave, compassionate and how to stay true to life.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

btw Rantra...

**'how to save a life' by the fray!


I love that song!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Maca Im ok ta.

Very busy at work tho..and just now I got bak from my lunchtime jog :)

hows u?

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Trance!

**All We Get Are Fakes..!!
All We Get Are The Lowest Accusations We Can Ever Dream of..!!

I so know that feeling. Its sad. But my dad knew me and thats all that matters to me. I dun care wut others say to me or think abt me.


*HUGZ* TC!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Ria HUGZ!

:) u r beautiful!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

BB I rem u uncle too...he'd be like my dad. Mebbe they met each other in Heaven?

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

MWAH Maria bella! :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

WOW Iceman I'll be there as soon as I can. tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Sameera Im ok girl..tnxx n HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Aneri I know wut u mean dahlin...tnxx!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

KP tnxx mate!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Bla I know...its ur dad isnt it. mebbe ur dad and my dad hv already met each other :)

*HUGZ* mate!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Elusive HUGZ luv!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

ty Pavi! I'll keep that in mind.

HUGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Stygian :) I replied to ya then. Hv a look.

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww ty Sid HUGGGGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Ghee MWAH!

I'll check it out soon :)

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Margie sooooooo nice to see ya here! :) HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ n ty!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kaylz Im ok luv..hows u?

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

aww Kristen HUGZ!

** trust GOD that it was best for me not to have a father like you.

:( Im not sure wut happened between u and ur dad, but I feel for ya. Dun be sad. Not all r'ships work out beautifully or as expected.


And ty for that MWAH!

Keshi.

Keshi said...

Kristen its ok I got wut u said. :) He was 44 when he died and I was only 16.


**I pray that I will die in my sleep,like your dad,anytime,I'm ready,right now, I look forward to dying.

u wont die now hunny. HUGZ!

btw I too think dying in my sleep is a peaceful one. But we dun get to choose how we die...sadly.

My dad died gracefully...peacefully in his sleep....not even a hush...he was so peaceful as I tried to wake him up in the morning...he didnt look like he was dead...looked like he was dreaming abt a far away land...a land where he'll hv no more worries.


ok Im crying now..sorry Kris!


Keshi.

maverick said...

hey keshi....beautiful...writing more would take away the beauty of the post :)

how r u???

Nirmal's Blog said...

hey my beautiful lady.....

hw u doing 2day..

Margie said...

Keshi dear
I dug out this poem that I wrote about 5 years ago....my dad has been gone for quite a few years, but I still miss his very much and he's always in my heart....I thought you might like the poem... it always gives me peace when I read it.

REMEMBERED HANDS

My father's hands were long, palms finely lined,
Showing the thinker, teacher, lover of truth.
Yet they were strong and large
hands accustomed to toil
they could handle horses well
for they were masterful, but kind.

In my earliest childhood they led me gently
and strongly lifted me.
One incindent so plainly etched in memory
a young girl unsued to pain
with my hand in his it could be borne
his suffering was as mine.

Down through the years that handclasp was for me
something to tie to.
And to others, friendhip, honesty and strength.

At last his earthly work was finished.
As he approached the valley where
each was go alone
his hand through days and sleepless
nights
still clung to mine
as mine had clung to his in infancy.

And now though years have passed
when night brings dreams to bless
I feel his hand in mine.

love
-Margie
P.S Nitey nite and have a wonderful weekend.

The Grunt said...

I am with you, Keshi.

Satish Bolla said...

keshi, sorry for ur loss. all i can say is u always amaze me with ur writings. i know that this is not something you wrote but this is something that u felt. may his soul rest in peace.

priya said...

Life is basically a purpose Keshi and thaz why we are born isn't it. Certain things in life doesn't remain for long and thaz when we realize how vaccum it is. But we move on like filling the petals for a beautiful flower.

Keshi said...

ty Mav, Nirmal, Margie (that was BEAUTIFUL), Grunty, Satish and Priya. MWAH!

Keshi.

general_boy said...

He'd be proud Keshi, and he'd want you to live your life and make every day count.

I honestly doubt I'd cope as well as you have.

Keshi said...

ty Boy HUGZ!

**I honestly doubt I'd cope as well as you have.

there r times when I do feel this life is pure GUNK.


Keshi.