Two Star Hotel

So you think your world is boring, sad and too stressful? You think you're unlucky and that you're not looked after by the very person you have so much faith in...do you think there's so much hatred in this world...well don't lose faith so easily. Look around you...look at the amazing events that happen around you...I believe that amidst so much hatred, there is still alot of love, kindness and true human spirit left in this world.

On the 25th of April, a gold mine in Tasmania Australia, collapsed trapping many miners 925m underground. The body of a 44yr old miner was taken out on the 2nd day after the rock-fall but 2 others were still missing. When all hope was lost, they heard faint voices of men from deep below...yes, those 2 men were still alive even after 4 days since the tragedy and they were surviving without food/water for so long, 925m below the ground! A special rescue effort began and the whole of Australia was watching and waiting for the 2 young men to come out safe. Their families, friends and many strangers gathered around the mine in this small town, helping each other and supporting the rescue efforts. Days went by, people praying at churches, some crying fearing that they will never come back up and the rescue team was doing their best. The way to where the 2 men was a hard route and they had to drill a 1m wide hole (all the way to the men) in rocks that were 50times harder than concrete! They used drilling machines, small bombs and were very afraid of more rock-falls that may be fatal to the trapped men. All the while, the trapped men were seated in Siamese-twins position, not being able to move at all, surrounded by large rocks and so deep down in extreme heat. They communicated with the rescue team and the men were supposedly in very good spirits and always sported a great sense of humor. They called their trap a Two Star Hotel and the 2 stars were them, keeping each other company. They asked for bacon and eggs, and wrote Thank-You notes to the people up on the ground for helping and supporting the rescue, in case they don't get to come out or it took longer than expected. 14 days passed in this agonising way, and this morning at 5:59am the men were brought to the surface THANK GOD, after a long and near-fatal rescue effort! The first words spoken by the rescue team to the men when they saw them was 'I can see your light...' meaning their mining helmet lights...and they said 'I can see your light too'. Today is a very happy day for many of us who were praying for the men...the church bells rang as soon as they arrived on top and you should have seen the 2 men coming out of the hole...it was one glorious moment filled with tears of joy and also so much admiration and gratitude for the rescue team who risked their own lives to go down there to get these men out. This morning I cried hugging my mum...it was truly heart-warming to see these men coming out with their arms open (looking for a hug) and to see the families surround them crying and calling out their names. It was as if they came back from death.

I'm truly touched by the positive spirit and the amazing courage and grace these 2 men showed being in a near-death situation like this for 14 long days and nights. Imagine being trapped that way and not knowing if you'd ever see your families again? I don't think I can ever match the true strength of character and valour these men have portrayed during this very dark experience in their lives. And for the people who stood by them and never gave up, those who helped these men to come back to life from the demons of death putting their own lives at risk, I feel a very deep respect and gratitude that words cant even express. The kindred spirit that binds all of us together, wanting to help each other in a situation like this is truly commendable. This is what true humanity is and this is what true love is. This is what God truly is. He's not in some temple or some text book or in your vegetarian meal or at the end of a machine gun. He's in these selfless acts of us humans..He's in the true courage and grace of these trapped men and He's in the helping hands and hearts of those rescuers. He is in you, look for Him in your heart...not anywhere else. Be a life-saver and have faith in people - there is love after all. Tell me if you came across such amazing stories of true human spirit...

Music dedicated to true valour of these men:Fields of Gold by Sting.

The Weirdo In Me...

Playing Miss.TiggyTaggy today! One of my dearest friends Dawn has touched me with her magic wand and cast a bewitching spell on me...woooooosh! The spell is to write a blog entry about 10 weird things and/or habits that I have been inherited with. Now when I was spell-bound by this, I was thinking that it should rather be about 10 non-weird things about me cos usually Im weird..lol! However let me take part in this and see if these are normal to you guys too. ABRACADABRA, you are tagged instantly! yes that's you who's reading this, so get on with it after reading my list muahahahaha!


1.I'm a manic dancer.
When I get time, I do all sorts of dances that I have never even learnt...be it Spanish, Turkish, Punjabi, South Indian, HipHop, Funk or even puke sappy movie dance scenes. My friends/cousins love to watch me doing numbers like 'Dum Maro Dum' with all sorts of facial expressions and we have so much fun laughing. btw I can dance anywhere...be it home, parties, beach, car, lifts and even in the Ladies' as long as I have music on. My feet just can't keep still. Just this morning I was shaking mah booty in the Ladies' while checking on my mascara.
2.I like to look and feel rather glamorous ;-)
If I'm going to a wedding or a formal party, I like to look my BESTEST. I don't over-dress but I like to reach near-perfection. Call me vain but I like to flaunt my movie star charms every now and then...yep that's too much to ask for, but I so wanna look and feel g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s. Even for work I like to look good and quite presentable...just this morning my mum and I had an argument over me spending too much time in front of the mirror and I just left home being angry at mum...so you see, it's that tragic.
3.I'm an unforgivable clean-freak.
If I'm ever visiting your place, you better have it quite clean and neat...cos, goshhh I can't stand untidy and unclean places...sorry but that's me. Even at home, I can't even sit and watch TV if something around me is not in it's usual place. I love to clean the house whenever I can (even though I get lazy at times) and I like the place to always smell nice and fresh. Sometimes when I get messy, I feel like I'm dying..lol, yes it's that serious.
4.Yes I believe in that pink-bubble destiny.
For some people this may be weird but I do believe that no matter what, your life is a pre-written story being recited chapter by chapter each day. We all have our own season and we disappear when it's the end of our season. No matter how hard you try to change your life, that too is pre-written for you. You may call me silly and weak, but that's why Im me na..
5.I love heavy-metal rock.
For a sensitive soul like me, it sure is weird that I love heavy-metal music. But I just think it's one of the sexiest kinds of music and even though it can get loud and crazy, somehow rock makes me feel at ease and relaxes me. Eversince I was a kid, I loved playing the role of a rock star and I also had a small guitar that my dad had bought me one Christmas cos I asked Santa for it. And all the while, my sister was sitting so sweetly at a piano looking so girly lol!

6.I have a shoe-fetish.

I love sexy shoes and I can't help but buy different kinds of shoes every season. I feel good when I wear a glamorous pair of stilettos/boots that make my legs look great and attractive. I can't but help stare at lovely shoes if I ever spot someone else wearing them. It's a pity that men can't be so sexy with shoes...but hell yeah I still check their shoes, ahemmm shoe-size lol!
7.When I get angry I can be quite funny.
When someting gets on my nerves and makes me wanna scream my lungs out, I always find a humorous corner in my soul. I just stop immediately and laugh like a maniac. Usually I make fun of my own self and it makes me laugh instantly, no matter how frustrating the situation may be. I think I'm lucky to be that way 'cos it helps me to forget the issue and calm down quite quickly.
8.I get turned on by weirdos.

LOL yes...I get turned on by some guys who don't usually attract other girls. I mean if he's got a weird sense of humor or he's got a weird way of doing certain things (as long as it's not too crazy), I get attracted to them. I used to have an ex-boyfriend who loved to tickle my feet from under the table, whenever we were chatting etc...so you see, I was totally floored by him!

9.I'm easily shaken.
Yes as much as I sound strong, I'm very easily shaken. If someone sneezes loud, I get startled easily. Little things like that affects me alot. My mum says that according to Hindu astrology, my birth chart says that I'm a female deer...ahaaa, so that must be why. Then I better make sure I find a male deer ha ;-)
10.I don't like just hunks.
yeah weird but I don't like hunks just cos they look good. I need substance. A blue-eyed, blonde and brawny guy with an Akubra hat may get my attention but not for too long...he better impress me with some 'brains' or he's history. And FYI Brad Pitt was never my cup of tea - I mean coffee. Now girls can you just believe that!

Food for thought...

YUMMMAYYYY it's time to pig out hehehe. Ok this post is all about food - yes delicious food! Food is something we all need to survive and it's one of the most desirable pleasures in life. No one can live without food and no one can avoid food for too long. Because it's one of our basic needs and it's also one of the things that makes this life more scrumptious :) Yes Keshi can be a greedy piglet...lol!

While I like to stay healthy (but I'm not a vegetarian), I still can't avoid some yummy but a tad unhealthy food...such as french fries, fried fish, grilled lamb, fried rice etc etc. But I have a few of my favorite kinds of food in the world. Out of the mains, I love seafood. I simply love fish, prawns, crabs and squid. Also I love chicken/tuna salads and pastas. But nothing beats Indian/Sri Lankan rice and curry :) I JUST LOVE SPICY FOOD. My best is Chicken curry with lots of spices and curry leaves (I adore spices). I make it myself and everyone loves to eat my Chicken curry. It feels so good when someone says my cooking is good (Keshi bats her eye lashes...hehe). I also can cook very spicy Lamb curry but no one can beat my mum on that one. She's jus too good at that. Out of the many yummy Sri Lankan dishes, my favorite is 'Ambul Thiyal' - Tuna dish cooked a bit dry with spices and it goes well with 'Kiribath' - milk rice (pic on the right here->). Indian foodwise I love Thosais (a kind of pan cake eaten with coconut chutney) , Idlis(something like thosais but not as flat ) and Biryani (aromatic rice with meat/veges and alot of rich ingredients). Out of the International cuisines I have tried, I love Italian, Thai and Japanese cuisines the best. And I'm pretty good at making Pasta (Italian) , I love Tom Yum soup (Thai) and Teriyaki Chicken (Jap). Always nice to have these with a bowl of fresh salad. btw did I forget to tell you I'm a mega Vegemite fan :) when it comes to brekky. Turkish bread toasted with butter and vegemite is a little bit of heaven for me in the mornings. I don't like sweets all that much but I like cakes with yummy icing and I always like the corner piece of a squared cake...cos it's got more icing ;-) And I like Rum and Raisin ice cream with nuts...cos Im nuts. Also I cant' resist many Indian sweets!

Out of beverages, I love coffee...mwah mah daily coffee! Ok I cant live without coffee, that's a fact. If someone wants to kill me, put me in a place where there's no coffee...anyways, is there even a place like that? I'm not much of a coke drinker but I don't mind it. I love fresh juices and water the best...I like orange, guava, mango or grapefruit juice with a bit of ginger in it. They give me a refreshed feeling and also keep me awake at work..duhh! And when I go out, I drink wine/Vodka...I can't take more than one glass and also that's only if I'm not driving. I also like mango Lassi...the Indian yoghurt drink...it's just delicious! So yeah...that's my kind of food and beverages. What about you? What's your favorite foods/drinks and how good are you at cooking? And don't forget to recommend me something I may never have tasted before (give me the names too). Eat well, be well and be thankful that your plate is full.

What a boy!

I know I said that I wont post any bday posts again, but I just cant let this bday go past me without saying a word about this great soul. Funniest part was that he told me some time last year when his birthday is and I forgot all about it until yesterday...yes yesterday. Yesterday something told me that I must check with him again when his birthday is 'cos I vaguely remembered it was somewhere in May. So I emailed him and his reply comes back saying that it was indeed yesterday (2nd of May)! I'm so glad I didnt forget it completely and it wasnt months later that I asked him..it wouldnt be that great a feeling for me then. He just needs to know how much his presence has changed me as a person and a birthday is the ideal day to say it all...:)

Well he's one of the very few genuine guys I have ever made friends with. He's decent, caring, sweet, honest, very very very intelligent and makes me feel quite dumb with his very deep posts lol! He's a very independant and brave soul. He taught me how to be brave and how not to be intimidated by cowards. His calm and collective nature amidst strife, always drew me closer to him. He's a very special guy and he's none other than my good mate Sittingnut. He's truly a beautiful person both in and out, and I want to thank him for being the person he is...for all those times he was around when it seemed like most people left me for good...for all of those times when he offered me a shoulder to cry on when I had none...for all the sweet emails he sends me every now and then to make sure that I had a good weekend...for being the pillar that I thought would be hard to find in a place like this...for not asking for too much but for giving me his true friendship always. I love you my mate and I wish for you always sunny days, love, peace and joy, good health and every dream of your's coming true...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE!

Music dedicated to you: Cherish by Kool And the Gang.

Whenever...

Whenever someone doesn't return your call, let them get to know of you in their own time...
Whenever someone blames you for no reason, stay still 'cos they will get back to reality some day...
Whenever someone doesn't acknowledge your presence, be happy that you have acknowledged their's...
Whenever someone acts strange, be glad that you were never a stranger to them...
Whenever someone doesn't let go, make sure that you let go of the baggage...
Whenever someone laughs at your emotions, be happy that you never laughed at their's...
Whenever someone doesn't understand you, let them understand themselves first...
Whenever someone doesn't seem to care, be glad that you cared.

Beauty and the Beast

First of all, thanks so much for being there for me always. You guys are amazing 'cos it seems you've all got the power to heal me...didn't someone say blogging is therapy :) Luv you all, mwahh! And there's a rose for you, now try and get it ;-)

ok now it's the weekend quiz time on self-analysis. Try and answer these 2 questions and c'mon, be honest ok :)

1.What's your favorite part in your body and why?
2.What do you hate the most about your body and why?

There, 2 simple questions. What this might get you to realise is that you do have something beautiful about your body (if you were previously not such a vain person like me who doesn't need to be told that lol!) and also to realise that you do have something not-so-beautiful about your body (being so vain I was in shock after realising this about me, sobbbbbbbbz!).

My answers as follows:
1. Actually I love everything about me, so go ask someone else okkk. LOL ok ok let me stop bragging goshh Keshi you vain creature!
I love my skin the best...I have beautiful, smooth, healthy skin with a balanced and honey toned complexion. And why do I like it, cos that makes me gl-l-l-l-ow...glow baby glow...lol!
2.What do I hate most about my body? mmmmm nothing at all goshhh I'm a goddess you know, jeeez are you even asking this question, I'm appalled man! ok ok let me come down to my senses folks :)

I hate my toes - that's the most undesirable part in my body. My second toe is a little longer than the first (just like the feet in this pic) and my mum reckons that's why I'm mega stubborn duhhh! Why I don't like it, cos it makes my feet look not-so-neat...sobbbbbbbz!

ok time for your confessions babehs...get on with it! And have a beautiful weekend with your beauty and your beast ;-)

Unbreak This Heart

These eyes have cried a Nile of tears...this heart has known an Everest of pain...this soul has felt an Ocean of feelings. You don't know 'cos you can't see. You can't see 'cos you won't see. I'm just here only for a while...did you think I deserve to be sad. If you are my shelter should I feel this helpless. If you are my home should I feel this homeless. If you are my light should I feel this lost. If you're not a mirage then show me your face. Unbreak my heart...uncry these tears...undo this hurt...unlie those lies...ungrow the loneliness. Show me you care, show me real love. Show me you're there.

Carnivorous Blooms

She's beautiful. She's got ivory skin, dark hair, large black eyes, pink lips, tall figure and a slender body. She's gorgeous, yes she is. You could say she's got a kindness about her too, but not for too long. Beware, she attracts you to her vicinity but makes you pay for it forever. She will help you but she insists your worship eternally. She will take your help but never is grateful. No one can talk about her but she talks about everyone else. No one is above her but she can be above everyone. She beckons divinity yet she's very much a mere mortal. She wails for constant applaud but she never applauds you. She loves everyone but she doesnt know what love is. She's got external beauty but is that what beauty is?

That is someone I know in my real life. She has helped me at a time I needed her help and I aprreciate that. In return I have helped her in a way that I cant even write here 'cos it's quite confidential. Not that I want to be praised for that but she never appreciates my help. She only sees what she did. I don't ask for recognition for the help I did to her as long as we can just be great company to each other. But even that, she is not happy with. She wants more and more and more of the acknowledgment of whatever she did to me and that's about it. It's been few years of worshipping her now and dancing to her tune. The last time I spoke to her was to convey my condolences to her as her father-in-law had passed away. Do you think she spared me the worshipping even then? Nope and I cant tell you how she asked for it, it's too shameful. Guess what...it broke the walls of the forced-respect that I had for her and so I told her what I truly felt. That I have had enough of her pride and ego and that one should not expect so much from someone. I couldnt believe it that I said that to her! Cos she was like a goddess among many and no one would dare speak to her in that way. Her physical beauty is something that everyone else respected her for no matter how egoistic she could get. I'm sorry to say this but her heart is unpretty. Isnt that what we should really keep beautiful? What's the point of looking drop-dead gorgeous but not being able to understand another human being or not being able to communicate with someone without making that person feel like he/she's noone? What's the point in being the diva when you can't even think clearly 'cos your psyche is fogged up by a begging ego? I think that to help someone is mighty, but to beg for worship in return for that is quite tiny. Being physically beautiful is a blessing but being emotionally beautiful is an earning.

You Sexy Thing!

I'm completely drained guys from what has been happening in the last few weeks. I need a break from all this drama :) So this post is an opportunity for you to say something 'sexy' to me. In return I will say something 'sexy' to you. Hahahaha na I haven't lost it altogether yet, but guess few of my close buddies here wanted me to chill and have a break from all the fuss too. So I guess this is one way to cheer me up ;-) I like warm, exciting and sensual words..get the hint? lol good. Well it doesn't have to be me, you can choose anyone of your choice to say something 'sexy' to them. Go for it guys and girls! muahhhhhhhhhh mah sexy babehs ;-)

Shades Of Charade

Some folks are like ever-changing colors. It's hard to trust the colors seen by night 'cos they'd look different in the morning. I don't like fake hellos and plastic smiles. I dont want praise and glory or honey-coated lies. 'Yes' you answered me last night...'No' you say by the dawn of light...colors seen by candlelight, may not look the same by daylight.

Net friends...is this a provable concept? I have made great many friends here on the net, no doubt about that. Most of us here are blog mates but I'm sure some of you know each other for a longer time and have exchanged emails/phone numbers etc and gone one step ahead in it. But I want to know the meaning of a net friendship with comparison to a non-net friendship. Why I feel I need to know this is 'cos I don't want to be the only one to think that there is actually feelings, emotions and love involved in net friendships. I could be living a one-sided relationship and I could be fooling myself to no ends. I had 4 good friends here - knew them for a long time, exchanged emails etc and they said a million sweet things about me. We built walls of steel around our friendship. But right now, not even the dust of those walls exist. Looks like those walls were nothing but just bits and bytes. And I swear the common reason why they erased 'Keshi' off their memory was 'cos I was being too upfront and I was too much to handle. My crime was my honesty and I know that few things I did/said hurt them. I have apologised but yet none of those many 'sweet' things about me counted in the end. What mattered to them was the one wrong thing I did. In real life, we forgive and forget great many mistakes between good friends and usually we are back on track. Isn't that what's supposed to happen between 'good' friends? Few other friends here I trust but who knows what the future of that will be? It scares me to get attached to people this way and get stabbed by their colorful thorns few months down the track. One by one, few of my close net buddies are showing that this is the most fragile bond on Earth. I sense imitation. Net or not, to me a friend is a friend. But I guess I'm wrong about this. Can someone tell me what a net friendship really is? Do we go about pretending or should we be open and honest about one another even at the risk of being thrown out of their hearts? Or is friendship much more important than our own selves and beliefs?

The colors of net bonds seem to change very rapidly from vibrant shades into light and almost non-visible hues. Why? Is it because no one really cares what happens to the other person 'cos everyone is behind some Id? But don't they realise there's a heart beating behind that Id? I guess it's not the walls that have been built with steel, it's their hearts - they don't melt. People who have told the most sweetest things about me have been the first to fade into the lightest tint ever. I still remain the same shade but you are different, why? A charade of bonds built in bits and bytes and words typed by cold fingers? Please tell me I'm wrong.

The Lone Traveller

There's nothing more liberating than being self sufficient. Nothing more peaceful than being comfortable with who you are. Nothing more therapeutic than being unbound by bonds. Nothing more tranquil than being alone and yet feeling like the whole world is with you. The only way you can achieve that peace is by being true to yourself and by portraying that true self to the world. By making it clear to yourself that you are not going to fear losing...fear loneliness...fear being rejected and forgotten. Fear of losing good friends, fear of making enemies, fear for safety and fear of tears...all of this may prevent you from being who you are, the real you. So you may wear a mask to 'socialise', to be 'accepted', not to be 'alone'. When you come back home, take off your mask and ask yourself if you're happy. If you are, you may continue doing the show for the rest of your life...but if you're not happy, then throw the mask away and you may find the direction to happiness. Lonely you may end up as, but peace may be your new companion.

I mostly go out with my mum, sis or friends...be it to the movies, visiting, beach, shopping etc. I do go alone to the shops sometimes but that's when I need peace for myself to choose what I want. Did I say 'peace'? Yes, it's very peaceful when I go shopping by myself...this is not to say that my mum/sis/friend is a pain in the booty lol, but I have to admit that I don't appreciate too much clutter or too much info that confuses me when I have to buy something, be it a gift or something for the house. When too many people's input is received by my delicate brain, I get so stressed out and end up buying something I wouldnt even dream of selling! hehehe point is...when I'm alone I have peace. The peace to evaluate my options and choose carefully when I make decisions be it big or small. Another thing I do by myself is going for my daily fitness walks. That's another truly peaceful time I really enjoy. As I pass the many houses, trees, people, flowers and as I tread on little paths all alone, I feel an immense serenity wrapping me up. The absense of chatter is sweet music to my ears...the sound of birds, trees and some sweet kids' voices down the road is all I hear and that's just very rewarding. I sometimes drive alone and that's the time I drive my best...no one chatting in the car, no one to lower my music volume :) and no one telling me what to do that may distract me. I know that it's hard to survive without the people you love and ofcourse you need their input every now and then, but there may be times when you feel that being alone could make things alot more clearer to you even though you may be compelled to listen to others - at those times, take a trip alone and see how you feel. It's important to know that it's not a bad thing to be alone and it has it's advantages too. Being alone can be the only time to make peace with yourself and realise who you really are...and the only time you could do something without feeling too obliged just so that you look polite to the rest of the world. Loneliness can teach you many things. It can bring out the best in you and make you stronger. It can make you realise that even if all your loved-ones left you, you will still survive. No it's not about being selfish, it's about giving yourself some love, time and peace that you deserve so much and it's the only time you can take a good look at your soul in the mirror. A lone traveller marches ahead with less baggage....

Freedom of Speech

EDIT:PLEASE READ CONFUSED'S LATEST POST - he expresses my exact views about fanaticism brilliantly and that's just what I wanted to convey from my 'Whispers of a Veil' post. Take it as you like it folks!

Many people are afraid to speak out, to stand up for themselves, to question the unquestioned, to challenge the dangerous, to doubt their own...but I'm not. I believe in freedom of speech and myself, and even if it's going to hurt my best friend or my mother, I will say what I feel is the truth and what I believe in. Especially if it's something that violates human rights, I don't care if it's my blood, my race, my country or my friend that's the reason for it, I will speak out. I can't stand hypocrisy and I will say so and I will give you my story. If you can't take it, or if you think I'm wrong, give me your valid reasons here...if you keep silent and tell everyone else that you are hurt, then you have either misunderstood me or you think I'm cruelly right or you are too afraid to speak out here or you are one who don't find freedom of speech right.

People, my 'Whispers of a Veil' post has disheartened few of my close friends in the blogland. But that doesn't take back any of the words I said in that post. I said it cos I know what I was talking about and I don't believe I hurt anyone's feelings there except the fanatic muslims (not the good muslims). I was talking about muslim hardliners that treat women like second class citizens and punish them brutally if they don't wear the hijab and that's about all. I was not generalising ALL muslims. My friend Jackal has written a post as a reply to that. I respect what he has to say about it, cos that's what he believes. However I choose to disagree with him on some points but that doesn't make us enemies. I hear from his blog that my friend Sebia was deeply hurt by my post and has written a post about this (which I haven't fully checked yet 'cos I didn't even know about it till I heard it from elsewhere and Sebzz didnt leave a comment here either). My point is that no one deserves to be punished for not following some dress code. If someone says that Westerners are bikini-clad/naked people with no shame, well they don't get punished for that, do they? Cos people should be given the freedom to wear what they want, and that was my point and nothing else Sebz! Sebz, you should have written me a comment here, instead you went and wrote a huge judgmental post about me, and disabled comments too. Why?? Did you ever read my 'A Faithless Journey' post? Yes I could have asked you (I was not in touch with you for so long and I was under the impression that you don't visit my blog for quite sometime now..anyways) before I wrote the post but nothing would have changed in the post Sebz...cos what I said still stands as the truth for me. I spoke to my Muslim friends here and they read it too...they were not offended by it cos my aim of the post was more about the dress code and the punishings , not the Muslims alone. How can you get so hurt when I'm not even talking about the good muslims? You got to read my posts clearly and get the point before crashing down to conclusions Sebz. And na I don't get some adrenaline rush from making fun of anyone's religion here on the net - thanks for assuming that about me. If there's anyone who respects all faiths, then I'll top the list but na I won't tolerate people committing crimes in the name of religions - SORRY! And no I cant understand why you're hurt by this - cos if someone came and told me that the Hindu/Catholic extremists are blood-thirsty criminals, I'd agree with them instead of feeling sorry for my faith and my people or even defending them - cos crime shouldn't be tolerated irrespective of faith. If all of the good muslims out there like you, stopped praising these hardliners and for once stood up for human rights, then we might not have so many women suffering in silence.

Anyways, what I intend to convey to everyone, yes everyone out there, is that I will write what I feel in my blog and as it can get very personal, if anyone is hurt by my thoughts here, I really can't help that...cos this is me, and this is how I feel. If you have to say something, say it here, right on my face. If you don't like me or my thoughts, you're most welcome not to read my blog - you got a choice here. Where I live people value freedom of speech and we argue openly, healthily and in a civil manner. I'm not here to please anyone and I will speak what I feel and I shall speak the truth. And you are entitled to think anything about me. Thanks everyone!

Grave Decisions...

If when you visit me tomorrow, you wont hear a sigh, you wont see a 'hello' and you see only a fading memory of someone who once used to be...would you think I'm too bored or too pissed...or could it be that I'm really sick or could it be that I had died yesterday? Well one thing's for sure, I won't leave the blog world without saying goodbye to all of you very beautiful people...you have stuck by me at all times and I will never forget that, never ever! I have met some very special people here (truly inspirational) and I'd hate to leave you all without a hug goodbye...but if death comes knocking on my door without my knowledge, I'd have no way of saying how much all of you meant to me. And it's quite sad to leave without saying what I wanted to say to you. So I take this opportunity, this day and this minute to convey my gratitude and love to you all. And to say how much I appreciate all of your thoughts , time and mostly your presence in my life. And how colorful my life is because of all your pretty handprints and warm heartprints you have left here so many times.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL HEARTS THAT YOU ARE AND I'M SO SORRY IF I EVER HURT ANYONE WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. AND OH I LOVE YOU TOO!

Say your Thank-yous when they are due, say your Sorrys when you're wrong, say the Compliments when people deserve them, say the I LOVE Us before it's too late. Death has left a huge void in my life many a times. I didn't get to say what I wanted to say...and now I'm sitting here wondering how it would be if I told him/her how I felt. It's too late to speak when that someone is not around to hear you...so ask them, speak to them, hear them, listen to them and convey to them right now, for graves are made of stone not of ears. So I hope you heard me saying my dues. LOVE U ALL, yeah even after I've left. I hope you'll remember me too...

Now to some exciting death-related news people!
I read in the papers yesterday that the latest graves use LCD screens. So the grave has a LCD screen and when someone passes it, it gets ativated by an infra-red sensor, and plays old videos of the dead person. Cool ha! Do you think this is a great idea or it's just plain irritating for the other deep-sleeping dudes around? I think it's great as long as I don't have a bitchy jealous grave-neighbour who couldn't afford one, lol! But then again, why would any stranger want to stop and see my life-video? Would you consider one for yourself or a family member, if so what will you include in the video? I think I'd have Nirvana and Guns N Roses playing over and over again while photo-stills of me taken with my loved ones are displayed, along with each of your names being displayed at the bottom, one by one...cos that's what I loved when I lived - music and people.

Whispers of a Veil

This is for everyone's knowledge and I believe the many visitors here would be able to enlighten me if I'm wrong. If I hurt anyone's feelings from this, please say so...cos that's not my aim. I only want people to realise how downright ignorant they can get.

I do have many Muslim friends. Most of them are from Turkey, India, Sri Lanka and Malaysia. Unfortunately I don't have any Muslim friends from the middle-east. Muslim women from such countries wear the Hijab (the veil on their head) and I know that some women cover themselves from top to bottom with only their eyes visible (Burqa). Some women's eyes are also covered with a mere net just so that they can get around without falling. I researched about this and found out that some women are forced to wear this and if they go against this 'religious' law (sharia etc) they will be severely punished or even stoned to death. Maybe it's ok if their faith requires the women to cover themselves up but why punish them if they don't like to wear it? And what about men? Why shouldn't they be covered too? Are women some kind of second-class citizens of the world that they have to obey all this and not men? Besides, I seriously don't get why they have to cover themselves up when infact I see so many Lebanese muslim women here smoking in the lunch break with the hijab on their heads. What kind of hypocrisy is that? And worst of all, many Islamic gangs in Australia are making fun of Aussie women showing their bodies off, and at one stage one Islamic leader stated that Aussie women are asking to get raped!! And ofcourse he had to apologise on TV. If these people want to practise their faith so much, then they shouldn't be in this country anyways or if they want to live here, they shouldn't conclude to such horrible thoughts about Aussie women.

The veil or not, isn't it what the character of a woman that matters? I find this whole thing very sexist and it's humiliating enough to any woman in this modern era to be told to cover up completely. Women are not a bunch of sex objects and by being told to cover up if not get raped/killed, that's exactly what these men are saying - women are just second-class sex objects! Do we have anything called human rights anymore?

The Living Dead

We say that the hour of death is uncertain, but when we say this we think of that hour as situated in an obscure and distant future. It does not occur to us that it can have any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance".

-Marcel Proust, In Search Of Lost Time

How true is that. Uncertainity is the only certain thing about life. Yet we love money. Perhaps it's ok to love money but it's not ok to be obsessed over it. Cos if you start loving money too much that obsession will start loathing your life. It'll make you forget who you are and your purpose on Earth. It'll eat you up even without your knowledge and it could be too late to get back your life again. I'll give you an example.

I know this elderly lady. She's very very very rich but she doesn't spend a cent, no not even on herself. She is always out to grab someone else's money or survive on someone else's bread. It's so revolting to even come across her but unfortunately she's someone we know and cannot completely discard from our lives. Anyways my point is that she is money hungry and that hunger grows by the second. She prays at temples to acquire another new house (she already has about 4 houses but don't live properly in any). She wants more and more money for herself and for her children but for no one else. She doesn't give a cent to someone in need, she doesnt even buy a coffee for herself and she doesnt go out unless it's free. She tells me that she prays everyday to God asking for money (I can see God sitting in a corner taring His hair out in frustration). She even goes to an atrologer to ask what her future financial status is, hahahahahaha how funny! Future? What about the life she's wasting right now while dreaming of more and more money? When will she ever start living instead of rotting in greed? Whenever she speaks it's only about money and nothing else. I bet her eyes have $ signs instead of an iris and she'd probably love to get a job at a mint. Her house is not a home, her dinner is never cooked, her family is not close-knit and most of all she's not living...she may call it as her kind of living but I find it ridiculous and a disgrace to human life. I call such people the living dead. I know I have no right to judge but this kind of life has to be worse than death and even worse than a poor man's life. What will happen to all that money when she's physically dead? Is she going to take any of that with her? In the end she hasn't lived at all, cos death has become her.

Looking at her I thank God that I have been given the gift of Living..and that I'm not one of the dead, walking this Earth in greed. Don't be too attached to something that you can't enjoy now 'cos what's the point in loving it if you can't enjoy it.

~~From greed comes grief, from greed comes fear; he who is free from greed knows neither grief nor fear.

-The Buddha.

Don't bother...

You know what I hate...when I'm misunderstood. Why can't someone just accept me without adding all the unnecessary equations into my life? I need a man, but why? I don't need this in my life. Quite frankly I have made up my mind to remain single for the rest of my life, so hands off me. 'Cos I have been on that slippery cliff called Love before and I don't think I was made for that. So yeah, I'd be an old granny one day, sitting alone inside some old granny flat, knitting the life out of me! And I don't even know how to knit but I'll figure that out when the time comes, so don't bother. Why would that bother you anyways? Why should you be worried that I'm gonna be all alone one day? If I ain't afraid of it, why are you so bothered about it? TO HELL WITH THE SOCIETY! It's claustrophobic when someone crosses my space, it drains my blood when someone asks for something I can't deliver, it's downright manipulative when someone expects me to please them just 'cos God made us with an inbuilt function called desire. Trust me, I find desire boring. I'm not game for that. If you have something different than that plain attraction, show me. If not, just buzz off. It's puke sappy to fall in love just 'cos someone is attractive, I don't believe in that anymore. And it's plain boring to find someone just so that I won't die alone one day. Cos I did the same dumb mistake a couple of times before and it sucked my blood and left me sapped. It left me emotionally handicapped...yes my love right now uses a wheel chair - I cant stand up the way I did before. My love is disabled now 'cos I found it all too artificial and my love isn't something that this calculative world accepted. So let me just die alone some day. I came alone, I lived alone, I fought alone and I'd die alone. I don't need anyone crying any tears for me, I don't need a fancy funeral, I don't need a eulogy with loved-ones' names in it - I don't belong to anyone and I don't want to start owning anyone. Just let me leave with who I was, not with who you wanted me to be.

www.hotfe/male.com

Let's have some weekend fun folks! Name the HOTTEST bloggers (male/female) and the reasons why. (Please write down their site addresses).

This is not to get any glory but to realise how different each of us perceive blogging/bloggers in our own special ways, to get an understanding of how we view each other, and also to get to know some great new bloggers out there that I/we haven't visited yet.

My list will be ALL of you and I will give you the reason WHY respectively after each of your comments.

Apart from ALL of you hot males and females ;-) Linny is one HOT blogger I simply love reading and I'm sure most of you don't know her - she's not a regular in my blog. Why do I think she's a HOT female blogger, well she writes humorous posts that very well relate to many of us single girls. She writes in a simple and straightfoward style, without any preaching (unlike me :), and she really reaches many of us through her ordinary yet highly interesting posts. She also has a skill to use the right words to express the exact feelings that we are feeling and I think that's a rare. And she has great wit to go with it all! Have a read of Linny when you have time.

Ok now list me your favorites folks!

Hello, I exist!

There are some people who really need to read this post but they may not be bloggers, unfortunately! Anyways I write this post wishing that one sun-shiny day they will tumble upon my blog and read this, hopefully realising how much of a booty-pain they were to me. Have you come across people who don't give a damn about someone else's existence? People who think that they are the only ones who breathe around (leaving aside the huge breaths of moronology)? Well surprise surprise, I have come across many such dudes and have been the royal victim of their gigantic existences many a times. Few incidents are listed below for your pleasurable reading:

***One day I was walking down the street when this lady was coming down towards me. She was walking in front of me and had absolutely no sense whatsoever that I was in front of her too (no she wasn't blind). I mean does it take such a long time and alot of grey matter to realise that someone else is walking in the opposite direction in front of you and that you would have to move over a little bit to share the pathway? She saw me, oh yes but she wasn't moving anywhere, in your dreams hunny! I was moving alright but I didnt's have much room onto my left and she wasn't that lean either. Anyways she walked past me as if I never existed and yeah she brushed (rather bashed me) with her giant elbow that I nearly hit the shop window on my left. I guess she never knew others walk down the streets too or perhaps she was in a dizzy spell somewhere in Madagascar where there's lots of space?

***Another time...another day. Well I was in this Cafe ordering cofffee, and this guy comes in laughing so loud, so loud that the whole cafe started to look at him wondering what's wrong with him. Well he came and stood behind me (with his mate) in the queue still laughing his jocks off, and I really coudn't bear it anymore I thought of leaving the cafe. But I so wanted to have a coffee yet this guy was irritating me cos it was so LOUD that even the Kookaburras would have put their head-phones on. Then I turned around and gave him a 'Are-you-ok-man-or-do-you-need-to-be-admitted-into-a-mental-hospital?' kind of stare and he still didn't get it, cos he looked at me and started that laugh again. I guess it must have been a good joke but he certainly wasn't the only one around the coffee shop who was going mental that day.

***Then there are marketing calls that I receive on a daily basis, I just wonder where they employ these nagging people from. They are so rude and don't let me say what I want to say rather they choose to decide for me! One day my phone rang and as soon as I picked it up, she addressed me by a shortened form of my real name, like she knew me all her life - and this was a person I have never met, never spoken to and probably never will in my entire life. And she said that she was from a phone company and that she wanted to know if I'm interested in reducing my overseas phone bills, cos they had some fabulous cheap network etc. Fair enough but I immediately said that I wasnt interested and that I had to go now. She wouldnt listen to me and she said 'Maam why are you not interested in reducing your phone bills?'. I said 'Cos Im just not, can I go now?'...and she goes 'That's strange that you don't want to reduce your bills, how come?'...I said 'I love to pay high bills and that's just the way it is' and I hung up.

***Don't you hate it when a 3rd person interrupts you when you're talking to someone? Well one day I was talking to my cousin and this other guy comes baaaang right in the middle and utters something totally irrelevant. I was so angry that I just stopped talking and my cousin sort of got it but yeah he was answering this other guy too WTH! Maybe he was bored with what I was saying but Iit really drives me up the walls when people have no manners whatsoever and come crashing down in the middle of a conversation as if nothing and nobody else exists other than themselves. So I told him so and he goes 'oh c'mon Keshi you know me duncha sweety...?'...jeeeeeez next time I see him from afar, I will stop talking altogether, how about for the whole day?

***The other day I was on the train and these 2 Asian people were talking so loud that I thought they were having a fight. I seriously thought that someone needs to go over to them and help them make peace but I never thought I could be so wrong. Cos the next minute they were laughing (loud ofcourse) and even then I was thinking that probably they were laughing out of their frustration at each other (cos it sounded like evil laughs - muahhahahaha kind). But the next minute the speech tones got really violent and loud again. So I told my friend that may be we should ask what's wrong and he was laughing at me (cos he is Asian too). He told me that they were just talking happily. Whaaaaat, in that tone? I'll settle with the hope that I must be blonde.

***Last Sat I was shopping and then I met one of my mum's Indian friends. She suddenly stopped on tracks and started talking to me whereas I was really in a hurry. Seems like she didnt realise that even though I told her so, and she was going on and on about her son, her husband, her laundry, her cooking, her dinner party, her okra, her sarees, her aunty's son, her sister's brother-in-law's daughter's wedding etc etc...I was fainting at this stage and never before have I hoped so much for a phone call so I could just excuse myself and leave. No such luck so I ended up having coffee with her woohoo. I was in a trance all the while.

***Most of you know that I fired my Driving Instructor cos of bad breath. Well the fact that he had such a terrible and strong breath almost got me killed on the wheel (no not by some car accident) but by his breath alone. Whenever he opened his mouth to say something I had to hold my breath just so that I wont go into a micro-sleep and crash into someone else's car. I so wished that I could tell him that there is a dental disease calle Gingivitis in this world..but me being so kind, I just couldnt tell him so I went home, rang up the Learner school and told them that he was weird. So they sent me someone else the next day, clean-breath and all, thank God! Yeah I know God drives around too and probably knew I was dealing with a weapon of mass destruction.

People need to realise that there are others around too...yeah we exist too, so be cooperative please...share public property, speak softly, don't force yourself upon others, don't interrupt rudely, understand that someone may be in a rush, have a daily shower instead of killing your train-mates, brush your teeth often and if that doesnt help get some Listerine lol! Basically be kind and courteous to others around you and be AWARE :)

On the sofa with me...

Thanks all for you support in trying to find Janice. I hope we will hear from someone soon. Till then I have my fingers crossed that she and her baby are well. This is a holler sent out to all of you to keep your friends updated on what's happening with you. Atleast keep one friend informed. I know that it should not be an obligation but there are some of us who care and worry about you. Anyways, I hope Janice is keeping well wherever she is and let's hope we will hear from her soon.

Today's post is going to be quite laid back..I thought that I need a breather and u guys too, from all my heavy posts. So lets answer some silly personal questions..hehe...

1.What time of the day is it at your end right now? Sydney 2:30pm...
2.What did you last eat? A Tuna sandwich...
3.What are you wearing right now (hopefully you're wearing something ahemm)? White crop-shirt and dark brown tight skirt with low-heeled shoes...
4.What was your weekend like? Pretty much Janice-in-my-mind and temple...
5.Did you sleep well last night? No...I was turning and tossing like a maniac when I realised my quilt was on the floor and I was in some strange position...
6.What's your favorite time of the day? Shower time...love the soaps, gels and body-stuff in my shower...
7.Who did you last kiss? My little 4yr old niece yesterday...
8.Did you see any cute guy/gal today? Yes on the train...too bad it never gets past just that stage...
9.When did you last speak to your mum/dad? Just now on her mobile...

10.When did you last have an argument and have you patched up? I think it was weeks ago...and yeah I patched up with him...

11.Who/what cant you live without right now? My mum and my self-confidence...

12.Are you in love right now? Yes, with so many cute guys..on a serious note Im in lust duhh!

13.If you met me in real, what would be your first expression? If I met you, I'd give you a hug...would u mind?

14.Have you ever loved someone who's already taken? Nope never...

15.If I came over to your place, what would you do? I would take you to the beach near my home and have coffee with ya, yakking away ofcourse...

16.How do you watch TV? On the sofa, with my legs up on the coffee table...

17.What do you need right now? A good massage...

18.What's your favorite sense? Smell and touch...

19.Where would be the the ideal spot to be with someone you love? Spain...

20.What's closest to your bed? My Closet door that I keep closed 'cos Im afraid of ghosts...boooo!

yeah boring I know but it's your turn to answer now..so get on with it mates!

Looking for Janice...

I miss Janice (Pic of Janice on the LEFT) so much that I want to cry right now. Janice is a sweet girl I met on IndiaTimes chat a long time ago and we became friends instantly. She liked me for my kick-ass attitude...that's exactly what she told me and I still remember her giggles and warmth. Then she got married to a guy called Chris in India and then they both left to the US - that's what she told me. And even from the US she used to keep in touch with us and also started blogging regularly. She is such a crazy girl and she always put a smile on my face by her most famous word 'DUMBASS' which she often used on Saby and a little bit on me. Well she got pregnant and then she was going into labour in Dec 2005. Up until the end of Nov '05 she blogged and told us all about her pregnancy etc and then she left, promising us that she'll write us all about the good tidings of joy as soon as she gives birth. It's March 2006 now and no one has heard anything from her as yet. As I have no contact details of her's other than the blog and email, I don't know who to contact. And some anonymous person from her area in India had come to Saby's and my blogs and stated that Janice and baby died during childbirth! I refuse to believe that until I hear from one of her loved ones...and when is that going to be? Can someone please help me find Janice, cos I've been missing her alot and I want to make sure that she's ok. If anyone else here knows her please make an effort to find out if she's doing ok..that's all I need to know, that she and the baby are ok. I've been missing you Jan...

Maybe I didnt say

Maybe I did

What you are to me

Is a gentle touch

A beautiful soul

A never-ending story

And you shall live forever...

Unnamed Ships

Anthony: I love you Juliette. You know I do.
Juliette: Let's just be this way then. I'm happy, 'cos I love you too.
Anthony: I know our love is not shallow. I know it need not be defined by marriage.
Juliette: Let's be with each other forever as long as we can. As long as we are alive.
Anthony hugs Juliette tight and starts to kiss her gently...

There was a serious decision made just then...some of you may have guessed it right. These 2 are lovers, yes deeply in love but for some reason they cannot marry each other. Maybe it's their families, circumstances or something else that's not allowing them to marry. However, both of them realise that they cannot part from each other...cos they truly love each other. And they are wise enough to realise that love doesn't always end in marriage and it doesnt have to. So they decide to stay that way and continue their relationship - I do not know how to name this kind of relationship, but I know it's beautiful, it's a divine union much more than just marriage, it's a love much more than what's in a courtship...

Some relationships are hard to define and difficult to name. Boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, son, husband, wife, father, daughter, sister, brother, friend, colleague, uncle, aunty, cousin are some relationships we already know of. But a relationship like the above cannot be named easily. It may even be considered unethical, not soically acceptable or even disgusting. Simply because it cannot be defined by a word in the social dictionary. Hence the amount of love and sacrifice involved in such a relationship is overlooked by many of us. Someone puts up a board saying that Marriage is the only way, so everyone goes by that board. The moment someone takes a different path, it's considered WRONG. Immoral it may look like, but can you love someone so deeply? Will you sacrifice your family, your culture, your future, just to be with the one you love even amidst society's mockery? Alot of people think that giving up their love for something else is the biggest sacrifice...but I think it's the other way around. It takes a true and brave heart to disregard the traditonal practices of society to be with the one he/she loves amidst society's scorn.

There are few divine relationships in this world that many won't understand and not every relationship can be defined by a word or two. And it really need not be defined to be accepted by the society. What is needed is the passion and all else will fall in place. The conventional way is not always the way. A ship doesn't need a name as long as it sails beautifully. Have you seen such other ships?

A Faithless Journey

I'm at a friend's place for lunch (she follows Jehovah's Witnesses and this gathering consisted of many of her so-called Kingdom Hall friends). One guy walks up to me and asks 'hey Keshi what is your Religion?'. I say 'I was brought up in a Buddhist and Hindu background, went to a Christian school, one of my best friends is a Muslim - so yeah, I respect all religions and I believe in living life in peace, not in a text book full of rules'. He looks at me and says 'oh but it's not good to worship statues and did u realise that India and Sri Lanka though they follow Buddhism/Hinduism, are 2 of the most violent countries in terms of hatred/war and bloodshed?'. I was surprised at his straight face and his wannabe-divine facial expressions as he blurted out that stupid sentence. I really did feel like zipping him up in a freezer bag and shipping him to Uranus, not because I was insulted by what he said (I don't get insulted by un-informed beings) but because I felt miserable about his rather severe cranium deficiency. Anyways, I didn't say anything to upset him but I did say smilingly 'you know what, it doesnt bother me what you believe in so why should it bother you what I believe in?', simply because I didnt even want to waste my breath on someone who had such a limited psyche. He just smiled and said 'Sorry'.....I think he got my message or did he, ummm who knows - if not now, then some day he will.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make any 'Religion' (personally I'm beginning to dislike that word) sound better/worse than mine. In real I have many friends of many different faiths - just like here in the blog world, and I have no problem in what they believe in as long as I can see good people in them. What I'm trying to say is that even though 'Religion' was initially created to put man on a purer path in life, it has now become quite the opposite. 'Cos it's 'Religion' that divides people and it's 'Religion' that makes people clash with each other, burn churches/temples, slam aeroplanes into buildings, drop bombs on innocent people and call it co-lateral damage, spark racial intolerance etc - yes it's 'Religion' that's become the purpose of violence now. The reason why the Jews are hated, the reason why some religions are divided within themselves, the reason for the Israeli-Palastenian conflict, the reason for the Pakistani-Indian clashes, the reason for Sri Lanka's ongoing Sinhala-Tamil war, the reason for US-Iraq wars, the reason for recent and sudden growth of fanatic Muslim extremists, the reason for Irish-English clashes etc etc my dear folks IS 'Religion'. The mere differences in 'Beliefs' can lead to so much damage in an individual, society and the whole world - how sad is that!

Think about this...we as human beings are prone to many problems in life. We can become victims of natural disasters, diseases and man. Therefore we can be victims of anything and anyone. That is a fact. Just beacuse your beliefs are different from mine, that doesn't give you the right to insult me, murder me or even burn down my entire community. People must realise that beliefs are just beliefs...and they are going to be hell of alot different from person to person. Your beliefs are a mixture of what you have been brought up to believe in and your own experiences. My beliefs are a mixture of what I was brought up to believe in and my own experiences. So you and I can never be in each others' shoes. Therefore someone else being 'different' doesnt mean you are right and the other is wrong. 'Religion' should be a way of life...it should bring peace to you and others...it's not only about praying infront of a God...it is also about respecting another's religion...it should not harm other people and violate their rights to their beliefs. It should make you a better person in thought, word and deed, not a blood-thirsty criminal. It should make you enlightened in each possible way, not deteriorate you day by day. Most of all, it should make you more tolerant of other people and their beliefs that are different to your's. After all, if you cant tolerate someone else's 'beliefs', do you honestly think your 'Religion' has helped you or that you have helped your 'Religion'?

You may be a Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Jehovah's Witness, Muslim whatever...you may be trying hard to practise your faith perfectly according to whatever the leader of your faith has passed on to generations of it's followers. And I believe that no 'Religion' teaches you to kill or make a mockery out of others (not that I have heard of such religions). But if you cant tolerate another person's faith or you harm people just 'cos they are different, then I reckon you haven't realised what faith is all about. Such people I believe have no faith whatsoever and are doing shame to their own so-called 'Religion'. 'Cos a 'Religion' should bring peace to you and others around you. So do justice to your faith...give others the freedom of peace and the peace of freedom.

The Cellular Album

Watercolor memories of a school uniform, a heavy bag and tennis-shoes...reminiscences of bus rides full of chatter and giggles...fading aroma of home-made lemon-cake and strawberry ice cream...distant sounds of splashes in the pool and screams of jolly times...fond recollections of daddy coming home with Christmas presents...a black and white slide-show of dancing stupid to Locomotion...heart-warming memoirs of cousins coming over for holidays...far-away blazes of collecting sea shells in the beach...graying flashes of taking puppy Ginger to the vet...blurred snapshots of 12hr train rides to Granma's place...flickering flashbacks of running around her backyard and throwing stones at juicy mangoes...a soothing re-capture of bathing from a natural well, full of pure and cool water...vague sparks of walking down to the little stream to watch the fishes...evoked instances of catching little red birds and chasing after yellow butterflies...a fading picture of drinking Granma's medicine and fainting creating panic...unclear visions of playing crazy in the paddy fields so green...far-away memories of Granma's smiles that filled my senses...slowly dissolving flashes of playing hopscotch and getting angry with friends...funny memoirs of getting together the next day and climbing trees...happy recollections of buying new books and shoes for a new term of school, feeling so excited...a dimming flicker of losing a tooth and throwing it to the fairy...an old photo beaming toothless in a heavily-frilled dress...a distant flicker of a bunny-shaped birthday cake with pink wiggly candles...faded and stained photographs of people that used to be...of smiles worth more than the world...of pets that filled my lonely days...of moments that will never be again...of emotions that can never be replaced...of places I long to go back to but most likely wont...of times that I can recall but will never be able to live back in..of those precious flashes from the past so dear to my heart...now they remain in the priceless album called my Memory...so do you remember?

Object of my 'Addiction'

Ok let's 'crack' it folks ;-) We all have one or more addictions, no matter how much you try to deny it. Be it coffee (looks at Rohit.T:)), books, clothes, smoking, sleeping, music, TV, movies, boys (looks at Uttsy lol!), girls (looks at Saby - no 'lol' cos it's a serious addiction of his btw), drugs, alcohol, or even the Internet (looks at everyone lolz!). But these are few of the addictions we commonly know of. Wait till you see the rest. I did my homework about addictions before writing this post and was amazed to find out that there are some bizarre addictions out there! You may never have heard of them unless you yourself are a hopeless addict of any of the Addictions in the list below:

*People (so-called co-dependency)-The most common and under-recognized of all addictions, also the most powerful and the most dangerous.
*Compulsive overeating,Food addiction
*Bulimia,Anorexia
*Self-mutilation,Hair pulling
*Narcissism,Body Dismorphic Disorder (BDD)-addiction to imagined or real defect in appearance.
*Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
*Exercise,Body building,Anabolic steroids
*Sex,Voyeurism,Pedophilia,Exhibitionism, etc.
*Gambling, Games
*Money
*Work, Hobbies
*Power-Military,Police, Politicians,Religious,cult and gang leaders,Correction and Probation officers,Gurus
*Shopping,Collecting
*Comedy,Acting,Performing
*Theft,Vandalism,Con-men,Compulsive and impulsive lying,Image (phonies)
*Violence, Terror
*Hate
*Religions,Cults,Superstitions,Self-help, Gangs
*Racism
*Risk taking
*Internet addiction-a composite of people addiction, "Falling in love" addiction, Sex addiction, Risk addiction, and Hobby addiction
*Blogs (added by Keshi btw)

Phewww cant imagine someone being addicted to terror and violence - should offer them some Gloria Jeans coffee for a change. Being addicted to people is supposed to be dangerous 'cos apparently that's what happened in the Nicole Brown murder case (OJ Simpson trial). Now don't be so worried if you have any of the above addictions, 'cos apparently it isn't serious unless it dominates your daily life and you are powerless to stop the chaos despite many promises to do so. The article I read says "An Addiction is a strong dependence or habitual use of a substance or practice, despite the negative consequences of its use. Addictions can be formed to any activity or behaviour which allows people to escape from life and its problems and includes shopping or spending, sexual activities, gambling, food, prescribed and illegal drugs, alcohol and even other people." - which probably means that if you're a die-hard blog addict, you have some (conscious/unconscious) real-life issue that you're trying to escape from...am I right or wrong here, please enlighten me, cos I better know if I'm going mental. Ok jokes apart, what I wanted to convey to you from this post is that after reading this, if you think you have a serious and unhealthy addiction(s) that need attention, please see that you attend to it and take the next step to recover from it. But keep in mind that for it to be a serious and unhealthy addiction, it has to dominate your daily life, be negative and harmful to you and/or others, and you have to be powerless when it comes to controlling it. Also know that some people ruin their lives by serious addictions such as drugs, people, alcohol, gambling and money.

Some of the Addictions I may well be suffering (or enjoying rather) from are: music, clothes, shoes, blogs, music, blogs music and blogs. Oh did I mention blogs? I guess not. And No I don't want to go into Anti-blog-rehab 'cos FYI this is what's keeping me sane. In other words, if I went into rehab, I would have to prepare my Eulogy on the way - how boring is that. Anyways how about you, addicted to anything weird lately?

Re-United Airlines!

Ok guys we are re-united and flying, not so high but our wings have healed from all those injuries. Thanking you all for all the support and words of wisdom given to me at my time of sorrow. If anyone thought that my previous post was a public disgrace to my good friend, then you are mistaken my dear. 'Cos my blog is where I write about things I value, my deepest emotions, my most personal stories and I can get pretty straightforward with my posts...and if I did write up a post about someone (be it on a bright or gloomy note), that means that person means/meant alot to me or have affected my life in some strong way. I believe that certain people have that drive, the drive to make one feel extremely happy/sad etc - the drive to make you express about them openly. That means those people and their influence on me are worth causing a commotion about :)

Also, by writing that post I really received the much-needed relaxation and the realisation that I ain't a perfect friend either. 'Cos I hurt my friend too and there's his side of the story that none of you have heard yet. But that post was the outline of the short tragedy and I guess I learnt alot and grew so much from all your very wise advice. I also realised how hard it is to lose someone you really care for, how much some people really mean to me, and that it takes plenty of grace to realise that I was wrong too and to say Sorry. That was the biggest and the most valuable lesson. So thanking you all, and apologising if I hurt anyone in my little process of learning and healing...it is your wisdom that brought me home...so thank you again folks!

"A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget"..."Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say"..."Friendship is talking to your best friend without words"..."Money might make you wealthy, but friends makes you rich"..."You don't make friends, you earn them"..."Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, but somewhere in the middle we've become best of friends"...

Friendship Algebra...

We are just net buddies...hold on a sec...why did I use the term 'just' when in real you can have a great friendship over the net. I have sound proof of that...or do I? Atleast I did for a while...the fact that it's no more doesn't make it unreal - it was there somehow. Net or not, two people can have a great bond, I believe in that. A friendship in bits and bytes...in blog-hops and chats...through many keystrokes of affection and countless logins of anticipation. But somehow some caluclations creep in, yuikkkks - net or not, friendship accounts and balance sheets come in - why? Why can't we just be the way we are...why do we always have to prove to each other that we are infact great friends? After all, to me friendship means having to do nothing towards your friend to 'prove' your friendship. 'Cos trying to prove means you are not naturally there. Maybe that's why I have very few close friends in life...those who couldn't handle my carefree (or you could choose to say careless) nature just discarded me from their memory bank. I didnt say I'm not happy...it's fine. As long as you are happy, I'm happy. I said I love you, I miss you and I care for you...but as you suggest, none of that was for lies. Why would I spend my precious emotions on someone if I don't feel any love for that person? I can't do it, can you? But you don't think that's enough a measure of friendship...ah it's all about measures and calculations isn't it. I don't know friendship had a mathematical side to it, somehow I don't wish to learn it. I just like my illiterate self in this bond called friendship. Leave Algebra for school please.

Guys I will not be posting any birthday posts for my net friends hereafter - please forgive me for that. I don't want to treat anyone any more speical than another and it won't be fair if I forget dates etc. One of the reasons I haven't got a blog-friends list in my blog is also because of this same reason. Anyways, hope you all understand and I'm so sorry if I forgot anyone's birthday this year. Happy Belated Birthday Wishes to all who celebrated their birthdays already for 2006! And I know no Maths within special bonds...sorry if that disappoints you.

Awakening

I was. My body lies in a deep sleep...blind, deaf, mute, frozen...but I see, hear, talk, feel...no one hears me, sees me...no one talks to me, feels me...I see them, hear them loud, talk to them, feel them for I'm everywhere. Frozen in time, frozen words, frozen touch but I roam like the breeze. My skin so white and lips so dark, my heart so scorched yet beating moist memories aloud. Last journey severed mid-way, yet all the events fresh as dew. I stumbled, I fell, I gave up...but I can't go...no not yet. Unspoken words, undone deeds, unfulfilled desires...love is all I left behind...hearts scarred for life but I sailed to my next destination. 'twas too short, too good, too frightening, too lost, too quick. A bright flash once and a faded memory I've become. This sleep will last forever not, for my travels are a many...and I take refuge in another womb, in another time. And I begin. As the sleeping plant gets life with a sprinkle of rain, as new leaves sprout when Spring arrives, as the frozen lake melts with a kiss of the Sun, as the birds fly North when seasons change, I will rise up from the ashes, from this sleep, from this deafening silence, from this darkest night, into the dawn...blood will flow, my heart will pump again...lips will move and my skin will breathe...I will be seen, heard, talked to and felt again...another journey, another awakening...and I will be.