Great Expectations

Great Expectations

We ‘expect’ from almost everyone we know. It could be that you want someone to do something for you, behave in a particular way towards you, listen to you, want you or be there for you when needed. As human beings we depend on each other for our daily needs and wants, and we do ‘expect’ to a certain extent. Some may believe that their parents should bestow all ancestral property/assets to them since it’s their ‘duty’ to the children. Some may ‘anticipate’ their relatives to be loving and faithful towards them simply due to the fact that they share the same blood. Some may ‘want’ their friends to always have a listening ear to them or be there for them always. Some may ‘yearn’ for unconditional and everlasting love from a partner simply because that makes them happy.

What are we gaining by all these ‘expectations’. We are merely setting ourselves for ‘disappointment’. That might sound pretty outrageous to you, because in life we DO expect and depend on people, and that’s how we carry on with our daily challenges. But just think about a disappointment you may have experienced because of someone else. Think clearly if it was really because of the other person or was it simply because of your ‘expectation’ that it eventually lead to disappointment? We are so quick to judge and point the finger at the other person. You may say ‘it’s because of my friend’s carelessness that my feelings got hurt’, ‘it’s because of my ex-girlfriend’s selfishness that I’m so messed up’, ‘it’s because of my father’s pride that I couldn’t follow my dreams’, ‘it’s because of my mother-in-law’s ego that I can’t have a life’…etc. But hey wait a minute. No one’s stopping you from being happy except YOU! They didn’t force you to do/not do anything - you are just letting them manipulate your mind. How? By always ‘expecting’ and not preparing yourself for the ‘unexpected’. So when someone acts different to how you expected, you are highly disappointed and as a result may suffer from it needlessly.

We are human beings – we cannot always live up to someone else’s expectations neither can we expect others to behave the way we want them to. Disappointment sprouts when expectations aren’t met. So simply don’t expect! The key to staying happy and unaffected is by achieving a neutral state of mind. Don’t be overjoyed or over-saddened by someone else’s actions. Tame your mind to achieve a neutral state of emotions by not ‘expecting’ too much from others. Even if someone did/did not do something that hurt you, learn to forgive and move on with your life than dwelling on what they did to you. You are higher than that. You are a smart cookie :). So don’t be on the losing side by clinging on to someone else’s misdeed which would only upset you more. Train yourself not to expect and to be a smiling winner. Trust me, it’s a richly rewarding investment property once acquired.

Now who 'expected' the pic above? LOL!

butt it's beautiful...

butt it's beautiful...

Did you come across the new Nike advertising campaign targetting 'real' women? 'My butt is big'. 'I have thunder thighs' are some of the catchy slogans that girls may identify with themselves and yes that's exactly what Nike wants...for you to recognise you're beautiful as you are and it's good to look 'normal'.

If you look closely, women of this era are fast becoming pencil stick figures and think that it's beautiful to be bust-less and butt-less. To be honest I think such women are depriving themselves of womanhood. A woman should not look like she needs a good serving of steak, everytime you look at her. Victoria Beckham for instance looks like she hasn't eaten for years and I really feel sorry for women like her. It's one thing to keep trim and another to look like you just landed from Ethiopia.

Why do women feel that they have to do every possible thing to look 'thin'. Staying healthy is different to staying anorexic. A woman is beautiful with a full figure without the flabs. That's my idea of a beautiful woman. I think Nike is doing a great job by launching this new advertising campaign that not only makes all women feel appreciated but also delivers young women a serious message...'do not starve yourself to look half a woman - curves add to a woman's beauty'. Girls, what are your bodies like and have you felt awakward about your body? If so just cast away the media-rooted belief that 'Stick-figure is beautiful', 'cos I believe it's not! Full figures are sexy and I mean someone like Jennifer Lopez or Catherine Zeta Jones...aren't they looking healthy while looking gorgeous too, what say guys?

The Ad above reads:

My butt is big and round like the letter C and then thousand lunges have made it rounder but not smaller. And that's just fine. It's a space heater for my side of the bed. It's my ambassador. To those who walk behind me, it's a border collie that herds skinny women away from the best deals at clothing sales. My butt is big and that's just fine. And those who might scorn it are invited to kiss it :)

Li-VE-brary

Imagine how it would be if the book you borrowed from the library can talk? How fast it would be to clear all your doubts and how informed you would be by the end of the conversation! Well you don't have to imagine that anymore - it's already happening in a Swedish library! But this time it isn't a book you're going to have to borrow - it's a human being.

I read about this on the papers yesterday and I found it really interesting a concept. The objective behind this human library I believe is that as the world today grows rapidly, we have also come to face alot of different groups of people and varying perceptions that lead to alot of prejudices. These prejudices may be simply due to the fact that we are uninformed about a certain group of people. It read "If you're one of those people who thinks all lesbians are sexually frustrated or thinks all animal rights activists are aggressive, then a Swedish library project that allows you to "borrow" a human being rather than a book may provide some useful insight." What this human library attempts to do is make a human representative of largely prejudiced groups available for the general public to borrow for 45mins. Then you get a chance to ask all your questions regarding them and clear your doubts to a certain extent.

Is this a brilliant idea that's going to work towards common understanding or is this going to be a total flop and if so why? I personally think it's great way to communicate face to face and know where they're coming from, even if that means at the end of the day I wouldn't be agreeing totally. But it might help me to learn something that I was not aware of before which would have lead to my prejudice about them - that may even change my views. On the other hand I might hate that person and my prejudice might grow worse lol - that's the negative side of using human references. I'm mostly prejudice-free but I really would like to talk to a terrorist. Wonder if they would pay such a person to offer services at the library :) Well, what are your prejudices and if you were given a chance who would you like to borrow from this human library and what questions would you ask?

It read "This weekend, nine people, including a homosexual, an imam, a journalist, a Muslim woman and a gypsy, will be available at the Malmoe Library for members of the public to "borrow" for a 45 minute conversation in the library's outdoor cafe.".
Beat that!

Me, Myself and I

After much debate and many deliberate deferments ;-) I have been compelled to write 99 facts about me, mainly because I was moved to tears by m000nie's beautiful dedication to me here. If an e-mate can go that far to find out about me and write up such a wonderful post on me (based on some of my fav pieces from the past), then I have to consider myself really blessed for knowing them and to be appreciated by them this way. Hence I have to honor their love and affection and return that with what they desire. So here it goes m000nie and z000nie who so wanted me to just get on with this mission from day one. Apologies for the delay and I hope I don't bore any of you with this, you may quite happily ignore this post and I won't mind at all :)

99 facts about me...

1.My first childhood memory is of a 4yr old me and how I refused to go to playschool.
2.When I was about 6 I had the habit of knocking on doors and hiding.
3.I like to talk alot and as a kid I used to talk to the walls all the time.
4.On my first few days in school I refused to budge from my sister's class and sat next to her all day.
5.A friend and I once went to a church wedding way too early so we knocked on the priest's door :)

6.I went to a private school in Colombo, one of the best girls' schools in Sri Lanka.
7. When I was born mum cried as she wanted her 2nd child to be a boy.

8.I used to love watching the fishes swim down the streams in my dad's ancestral estate.
9.One of my fav childhood dreams was to become a rock star with a mad guitar.
10.I have big expressive eyes.

11.My dad taught me how to have compassion for animals 'cos he was an avid dog-lover.

12.I can be a tough customer 'cos I expect quality of service, not quantiy.

13.I don't understand people who have piercings in weird places and walk around looking hurt.

14.I am interracial.

15.I was once on a Air NZ jet that jolted all the way to Auckland and I thought I'd never see my family again.

16.My fav colors are barbie pink, apple green, lilac and turquoise.

17.When I was about 5 I met with a major bicycle accident.

18.I hate needles and witnessing blood among tons of other fears.

19.I can be moody and quite stubborn.

20.I have fainted twice on the bus and once on the train.

21.I have a black-halter neck top and a long skirt to go with it that's just so hot.

22.The best thing I ever got for myself was my car.

23.People with heavy accents drive me up the walls 'cos it's so damn hard to understand them.

24.I like compliments but I can stand criticism quite well.

25.I use LUX shower gel.

26.'Everybody loves Raymond' and 'My wife and kids' used to be my fav TV shows

27.I like fragrances, scented candles and body oils.

28.My pet hates are people without manners and TV soaps like 'Bold and the Beautiful' that have someone hanging on a cliff for days!

29.I'm a photo queen - I have albums and albums of treasured moments.

30.Robbie William is ULTRA hot.

31.Every woman should have a razor - I go 'ewwww' at hairy legs.

32.I like seafood and Italian cuisine next to Indian.

33.I am overall a nervous wreck.

34.I like long hot showers.

35.You could say I have premonitions - most of my dreams come true.

36.I type without looking at the keyboard.

37.Apparently my best facial features are my eyes and nose.

38.I'm a child at heart.

39.A vision of a car accident keeps coming to my head since I was like 8.

40.I can be very picky even if it's a b'day card that I'm looking for.

41.My sister thinks I'm silly and my friends actually adore me for that.

42.If you invite me over for dinner be prepared to yak.

43.I dont like people who yak non-stop though.

44.I admire people's cute soft accents and different smiles.

45.I like quiet moments with myself.

46.I believe in excercising, not dieting.

47.I speak/read/write 2 languages fluently apart from English.

48. I have a small black birth-mark under my left eye and at the edge of my right eye.

49.Someday I want to go to Greece and Spain.

50.I like where I am today 'cos I earned it myself.

51.I'm proud of my heritage and will never sell my soul.

52. I believe everyone has something we can learn from.

53.I can't get over the song 'Sweet Child O mine' by Guns N Roses.

54.Generally speaking life stinks.

55.I still remember how my dad used to press my shoulders every now and then.

56.I have a habit of playing with my hair when I'm in deep thought.

57.There were few boys I thought were Mr.Right.

58.I used to own a study table that's still in Sri Lanka the way it was left when I came to Aus.

59.I believe in destiny.

60.I like clothes that are decently sexy.

61.I love sweet surprises but usually find it out even before it comes to me.

62.I hate constant whingers.

63.I don't like alcohol and I don't know why people booze.

64.Things I value the most are my freedom and individuality.

65.My first driving instructor got fired by me because of bad breath.

66.I got prizes all my school life and I have a bookcase full of those books.

67.I never boast of my achievements but I wish I did cos some dumb people are damn irritating.

68.I was a prefect back in school and used to go on rounds to check if girls were misbehaving.

69.I can sing and I have sung in public.

70.I once blasted a male hairdresser who cut my hair way too short and I cried for months.

71.Children always caught my eye.

72.I don't try hard to impress anyone.

73.I have never committed a crime apart from being a pain in the butt sometimes :)

74.I hate when people ruin my plans indirectly or not.

75.My fav doll was Helen and she used to say 'I'm hungry' when pressed in the belly.

76.I observe people very well if he/she catches my attention.

77.I can be quite clumsy and careless at times.

78.I respect discipline and value responsibility.

79.Havent been to a nightclub more than twice and I hated it each time.

80.I think e-friends are a boost to my sense of self and they just rock my world.

81.I'm an Analyst programmer for electronic banking.

82.I sleep all curled up - in fetal position.

83.I'm a clean-freak.

84.I used to climb trees with my cousin when I was about 7.

85.Playing hide and seek with me was hard cos I hid in impossible places.

86.I'm wearing a light green top and black pants right now.

87.I worship God but I believe in the quote 'Hands that do service are holier than the lips that pray'

88.My fav past time is music and blogging or yakking with someone.

89.I do grocery shopping at Coles where NV dobbed on someone.

90.People who meet their soul-mates are just geuninely blessed.

91.If tears or the PC didn't exist I would have killed myself ages ago.

92.I believe good things don't always happen to good people and vice versa.

93.I aint a sports freak but I went to see the Olympics in Sydney just for the sake of it :)

94.My fav junk food is KFC hot and spicy with Mountain Dew.

95.I have attended funk, hip-hop and yoga classes apart from aerobics.

96.I have always had the feeling I'm going to die young.

97.Thunder and lightening scares me.

98.Gingivitis scares me even more.

99.I have a wicked sense of humor and my cosmetic bag is of a brand called 'wicked sister' :)

Glass Daffodils...

hope

I was inspired to write this post after watching a new TV series called 'True Stories'. It's about ordinary Australians who are going through a tragic experience in life be it battling a terminal illness or facing criminal charges or surviving suicide. This program aims to convey the fact that true inspirations don't always come from your favorite sports star or celebrity. It's not always glitter and glamour that teach us what true success is and inspirations are. It can come from someone you least expect it from such as your neighbor or your colleague who may have gone through an amazing experience in life. This post is primarily about people who are terminally ill and hence a dedication to those brave souls.

The first episode showed the story of a beautiful 29yr old young woman who was struck with breast cancer at the age of 25. She had a wonderful husband and 2 very young kids. She told her story with great strength starting from how she found out that she had it, what her initial reaction was, how she went ahead day to day with her life, how she put on a brave smile through treatment and how her doctor one day told her that she had only 6months to live. She did not sit in a corner and cry the whole day. Instead she packed her bags and went to London, her dream vacation that she so wanted to go on with her husband and kids. That was just one dream she fulfilled. There were many other dreams, like wanting to see her son go to kindy next year, wanting to live up until her 30th bday in June 2005, wanting to see her kids grow up and getting married....but even that was too much to ask for in the given time span. In June this year she achieved one milestone - she turned 30 and yes she lived up to it. Two weeks later she died.

Yes folks that's how cruel and unfair life can get. And fighting Cancer isn't an easy mission especially when the Cancer has progressed to a later-stage and even worse if you are young and with alot of responsibilities. On Christmas day 2003, I decided to visit the Calvary hospice in Sydney - that's where they transfer those Cancer patients who's time to cross over is in the very near future. Another 2 friends and I went in there with special permission and as a Christmas mission. We took them little gifts and just wanted to spend some time with these people who were preparing for their deaths. When I walked in to the first room itself I was in tears as it was a 15yr old boy who had face cancer. He was virtually deteriorating in front of our eyes and his mum was keeping him company. He had an amazing sense of humor and kept cracking jokes to make us all laugh. I call that incredible grace under pressure - a positive outlook to life even at the jaws of death. He had no dreams of a fancy car, parties or studying to be someone, he just wanted to live for his mother - yes that's all he wanted. 2 months later we were informed that he passed on.

Most people touched by Cancer are preparing themselves for death in one way or the other...and the people I visited were just resting at the hospice until Joe Black appeared. What a horrible situation yet an inspiring lesson for us. We can't really be in their shoes but we can try and draw something from the demons they face up until death. Imagine watching your life fade away and unable to be in control of it, when the rest of the world is having a ball. It must be really hard to smile but they still do. Life isn't really about waking up daily and going to work or study. Cancer is the number one killer in Australia and it's very real. Those touched by Cancer were once like us....now they have become glass blooms...extremely fragile yet powerful a radiance to the spirit .

Night is here to stay...

boycott_terrorism

What starts as a minor loss of conscience if not rectified, can end up as a major tranformation of an entire person. The latest political victim of terrorism in Sri Lanka was the foreign minister honorable Lakshman Kadirgamar who was shot dead at his home by an LTTE sniper on Friday night, just as he got out of his swimming pool. In comparison to many other politicians in Sri Lanka, this was a man of honor, integrity and excellence who genuinely fought against terrorism without any selfish motives behind his work. He was an Oxford-educated lawyer and was a Tamil by race but he lived as a true Sri Lankan and worked hard to bring an end to the on-going war in Sri Lanka. Being a man of good conscience and being ethnically unbiased was his only felony.
But this story is just one of the millions of senseless slayings over the years by terrorists around the world. How many lives have been destroyed, how many properties damaged, how many intellectuals erased, how many children orphaned? Why does the concept of terror fascinate some? My strong belief is nothing can ever be achieved by terror, even if there are righteous causes for doing so. Worst of all most terrorists claim that they are doing these bloody deeds for achieving peace and harmony for their race or religion! I find this quite ridiculous a theory. How can peace come out of terror? How can peace come out of blood-shed? How can peace come out of a gun, a suicide bomb, a dead body?
What I really think is that each and every terrorist out there walks around with a lost conscience, maybe due to whatever personal experience they faced. Their familes may have been tortured, killed or purely because he/she is brainwashed by some religious literature. But whatever they may have faced, no one has the right to kill another person in retribution or in the hope of gaining peace or whatever it is that they want. I myself have lost 2 close uncles (Police) in the on-going war but it never made me bitter against any race - I'm very concerned about acheiving peace in my country (and the world) but never through terror! Using scare tac-tics to gain anything at all is cowardly and unlawful. It's only doing your whole objective wrong! So having said that a terrorist's consience is lost, how can these individuals ever get it back? I know this is not something that's quite achievable for those who are terrorists already but for those who are thinking about being one think twice please. You are about to enter a night that will never make you see the dawn of day. All you will be achieving is befriending violence that will distance you further from the very reason you're about to fight for. Rebuild your conscience and fight the right way - through sense and law.

Blue Genes

Last night I watched a very interesting documentary on SBS which was about human genes. It was fascinating to realise that the genes one carry is the reason for one's IQ level, rather than the school one may attend or the extra work one may put in. Scientists have found out through genetic tests that certain diseases, IQ level, emotional equilibrium etc are all dependant on the DNA being passed to you from your family, just as much as your physical features . So yes you are born with it all. The tendency to develop a disease like Cystic Fibrosis, Manic Depression, Down Syndrome or even Breast Cancer is initially designed in the chromosomes of a developing fetus. And that's what this post is going to be about...those mutated genes that doctors these days can track down even before a child is born.
The program showed how doctors in the US are screening embryos for certain diseases so that parents expecting the child are informed of what the child may develop. Thereafter it is upto the parents to decide if they want to go ahead with the pregnancy or terminate it. These doctors and the parents seem to classify a potential genetic disease-bearing fetus as a drawback to the society if allowed to the see the light of this world. On the other hand there was a woman who had a son with Down Syndrome and was quite content with her life. Having a family history of Down Syndrome, she stated that when she got pregnant with this child, she was informed about the embryo-screening for genetic diseases. She refused to take the test as how she thought about it was that all she wanted was a child and it doesn't matter who he/she would be - at that point I had tears in my eyes because I think she is a selfless mother with a beautiful heart. There was another lady who was a manic depressive and was told by her doctor not to get pregnant as her child would some day be a problem to himself/herself and the society. She was very upset about it and in tears not knwoing what to do as she badly wanted a child. She is a doctor herself and has written many books about depression, and she also found out that people who have depression-developing genes are also uniquely creative and intelligent than the rest! So yes they can also be assets to this world if given a chance to be born!
My question to you is should a DNA screening for potential genetic diseases be done on a developing fetus that allows the parents to decide whether to have the child or abort it? Or by doing this are we tampering with the fetus' right to live? Personally I am against the screening and I firmly believe it's a violation of the fetus' rights even though it's not born yet. We must not forget that unborn babies breathe too, just that they don't get their say yet. Should the mother-to-be have that right then, but then again isn't a mother supposed to give birth to a child and lookafter it irrespective of what abnormality the baby might have? In fear of not being able to give light, should the sun be compelled to set even before it's risen?

Hello stranger!

hello_stranger

Ok tell me are you the kind of person who freaks out when you meet someone totally different to your familiar 4 walls? The point of this post is to make you realise that being 'strange' in maybe color, culture, attitude, views, nature, age, career, marital status etc does not mean he/she is not worth getting to know. Alot of people even subtly refuse to know someone else unless they share atleast one element of their lives...for example, perhaps you only mingle with the singles :). Perhaps you only mix with your age group or even your color...or even someone who is from your country. But there's so much to learn from people of all kinds and all traits. One example is my friendship with a very old Aussie lady - she lives next door to where I used to live before. Although she is in her late 70s, her heart is only 16yrs old! She was an absolute inspiration to me with her laughs, happy nature and the vast knowledge that she blessed me with. She used to teach me how to cook pasta the Italian way and today I'm an expert in it :) She used to teach me how to save money when buying shoes and certain cosmetics and how to shop wisely in general. Oh the great lessons I learnt from knowing her!

What I'm trying to convey is this: don't look too far for an inspirational friend and don't limit the spectrum to what you are already and what you already know. Because he/she might be that 50yr old Chinese lady in the grocery store or your neighbor who works as a garbage-collector or your 5yr old nephew that you never really paid attention to just because they didnt fall in your designated psyche of friends. Every stranger can be an inspiration in some unique way that would help you to grow, only if you open the gates to your heart. Have you ever let a stranger teach you about the world?

Till death do us part...

I was reading an article where it stated that the latest trend among couples in the US is changing their wedding vows to suit their preferences. This shift from traditional vows to something personally fitting could very well be due to the fact that many marriages in this era end up in bitter divorces or separations that end up in lengthy legal battles to settle scores. The traditional upto-the-grave vow 'Till death do us part' is now being rapidly altered to vows like 'For as long as we continue to love each other', 'For as long as our love shall last', 'For as long as our marriage shall serve the greatest good' and even 'Until our time together is over'. Now some may see this as quite realistic because nowadays almost everything is being altered to adjust to the rapidly changing social trends, hence it's a tad unrealistic to make such a 'grave' promise :) that one may not be able to keep. Also people come from different backgrounds and have various experiences that lead them to have different beliefs. However I say this switch is a sure recipe for failure. My point is that if you want to alter the traditional vow that has been there for so many centuries to something new that keeps you on the safe side, then is there real love in it at all? I think that's being cautious while expecting disaster, isn't it? Love is such a sacred feeling and marriage is a sacred bond knitted by that love and continues to be knitted as years pass by, through both good and bad times. Now I do understand that nothing is certain in life and people change too. However changing the wedding vows to be on the safe side even before you have tread the shores of married life is like taking Panadol before u get the flu :) It's keeping yourself well wide open incase it doesn't work - isn't that like being noncommital in a committed relationship?

Anyways I also read about a newly-married couple who changed the traditional vow to a breath-taking 'For all the days of our lives'! The bride stated 'I didn't want us to say 'until death do us part', I believe in heaven and that we will be together after we die. I kind of went the other way'. And she is no love-fool because she is a matured lady and is a Psychology student (Phd) at a reputed university in the US. So yes there are people who go to the other extreme too and I personally think that they are the ones who are really in love and understand the depth of marriage, even if their marriage failed 2years later. What matters is that right now you feel completely committed to that person because you're going to marry him/her!

I know that Hindu/Buddhist and most other weddings don't include verbal vows but what are your thoughts on this according to your cultural wedding customs? Should people go and change traditional vows to suit the times and personal preferences or should they say 'till death do us part' and stick by that even when they are 75 and may have to puke before thinking of a romantic night-out..lol no offense to anyone, just a wicked joke :) Shower me with your wisdom now.

Thoughts of you...

Thoughts_of_you


This is a dedication to all my lovely blog mates who are far away from me in Kilometers, yet so very close in Heartbeats...

Without you guys I would be nothing. Because I value my thoughts and beliefs, and to have you all stoppping here daily and enlightening me with your thoughts and beliefs that help me grow in many ways, is a golden blessing I have been showered with. To have you as mates (whether in real or online) in an otherwise boring world, is truly inspirational and makes my life worthwhile living! I truly look forward to reading my blog everyday and indulge in so many precious moments of joy while glancing at every single fingerprint of love, respect and friendship that all of you leave here. It's a priceless feeling!

THANKS and HUGGGGZ to (in no particular order)

NV,Pearly,Saby,Dewdy,m000nie,z000nie,Icy,Pari,Tanvi,Puneet,

Hagrid,Pithaly,Misty,Gaurav,Dawn,Anna,Sebzz,Chikka,

Fira,v000nie,p000nie,FM,Ash,Manish,Vinu,Vivhyd,Jay,

Justin,Autumn,Janice,South,Gomess,Strawy,Amu,Kroopa,

Julia,Tally,Caraf,Paul,Kerry,Miranda,Kitten,Chick,

Prakash, Wanderer,Psycho, Tree,Deips,RamSaran,

Avik, Stud,RexVenom,Priti and Footsi...

and all the other mates from all over the globe who radiate their wisdom for a precious minute or two at my online home.

I know where you were last night...

Have you ever cheated on your partner or have you ever been the other woman/man? Don't get me wrong, I have a valuable objective behind this post. It's not just for laughs, it's also to make you come to terms with it and move on with your life, that's if it was in the past :). But f you're engaged in it right now, you might want to re-consider what you're doing, I mean really think about it, it's consequences and take a decision that may make life better for everyone involved.

If you're not the cheater, then still don't be too quick to judge - instead of blaming and labeling others that inescapably deters them from looking deeper into the problem and trying to resolve it before it recurs with another person, try to understand why people cheat. Maybe it's really your actions that pushed your partner to brink of tempation! If your partner came and told you 'I cheated on you because you're boring/narrow-minded/unattractive/sexually-unsatisfying...' would you try and listen carefully rather than pointing the finger at him/her? The one being cheated always says "I'm not wrong, I'm not the one who cheated therefore I don't need to change"! Well then more cheating goes on and more heart-break continues...and the problem remains unfixed.

So let's find out why people cheat. Pyschologists say "it all comes down to two basic drives: the physical sexual drive and the emotional need . People usually cheat because there is a conflict between their physical(eg:No longer finding partner sexy or attractive ) and emotional desires(eg:Fulfilling something perceived to be missing in current relationship ).In general, each person is different, but it is generally the physical sexual drive that dominates a person's actions. Why? Because this drive has been present in human behavior for millions of years. Whereas the emotional monogamous need has only been around for a few thousand years, obviously a few thousand years of emotional needs will not overcome millions of years of one's evolutionary sexual drive! Humans are not monogamous by nature and when we ultimately choose to be faithful without the right conditions in place , we are setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. Cheating is simple; a relationship is more complicated. Cheating usually offers instant gratification, physically and emotionally. A relationship requires lots of maintenance. Giving it care and attention along with trust and communication will continuously help both people grow".

So there, that's the crux of cheating. Remember if you become involved with another person, you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest. Building lie upon lie will only hurt everyone involved. Think carefully before seeking happiness(which may very well be temporary) with another person. Also, remember that the new person will require just as much maintenance. No matter how green the grass looks on the other side, eventually it will need to be looked after, fertilized and trimmed or before you know it you'll have weeds all over the place, which will be an extra stressful job for you to take care of. Something to think about the next time that pretty girl/cute guy at the office winks at you :)

C'mon tell me those sweet little lies....

Sultry you...

Ok guys since my latest posts have been too solemn and for Puneet's peace of mind :), I wanted to write an amusing and 'playful' post next. So dive in folks:

What exactly is flirting? The dictionary says to 'flirt' is 'to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures'. Is this what you do when you flirt with someone? But where do you draw the line before that 'playfully' becomes 'foreplay', pardon my bluntness hehe. I''ll tell you a story. Once I met one of my friends on the train and we were chatting during the trip. I know this guy is majorly attracted to me (I sensed it) :) but I have no such intentions towards him (yeah call me b##ch lol). Anyways he's a great friend and I always enjoy his 'handsome ' presence, that's about it though, I'm being honest. However he flirts with me as if his 'flirt' button gets pressed automatically when he sees me. I don't mind but on this day he crossed the limit...atleast I thought he did. That day I was suffering from a major hangover from the previous late night at my cousin's bday party. So he asked me 'how are you?' and I said 'oh I just want to sleep!'. He then asked me rather deftly and with a wicked smile, 'do you intend to sleep alone?'. I know some may see this as purely harmless flirting but I think that's checking someone out or you may call it a steamy pickup line. I mean what am I supposed to say when he asked me that? I felt like saying 'no I'd rather have my entire family in my bed' just to shut him up lol! Instead I said 'J, could you stop flirting with me like a maniac on s#x drugs'...well I really did say it and we both laughed it off - I'm glad he's a good friend I can say anything to hehehe. Don't get me wrong, I can be quite a flirt depending on the way I feel about the guy. He needs to know some magical chantings to contact that Ms.Sultry in me, till then she sleeps ;-)

So yeah back to the nitty-gritty subject of this post, what exactly is flirting and what are it's rules/limits or are there any rules/limits at all? Or does it entirely depend on the two people involved, their attraction to each other and the depth of the relationship between them? Tell me some stories where you were a victim of hillibillies flirting lol, or where you flirted with someone and put him/her in an embarassing situation...or even tell me about a situation where terrific flirting took place and it really was rewarding...

Color of the night

Last Saturday 3 of my cousins and I went for a brief drive in the city. As we drove into the city around 10:30pm we were passing Kings Cross - the red light area of Sydney. I have driven past this area many times before and have seen the ladies all dressed up (red, black, pink, purple oh so colorful!) waiting for someone to pick them up, but this time it struck a cord in me like it never did before. The society looks down upon these girls because they sell their bodies to earn a living and yeah it's disgraceful right? But is it, given the circumstances they may have faced in their lives? Do we even know their experiences or why they have chosen this avenue when there are hundreds of other jobs around? Let's be honest, you don't really KNOW the person inside that body do you? You only see a girl who stands in a street corner wearing thigh-high boots, a short skirt and bright red lipstick - and you only see a woman with no shame, no self-respect and no dignity - she's there to be sold right? I used to think like this before even up until that night when something really bothered me afterwards...my conscience. Later as I was sipping coffee with my cousins, it suddenly dawned to me that it's not these girls who are really there, it's their experiences in life that's standing in that street corner...it's the abuse they may have faced as children, wives or girlfriends that's standing right there...it's the unlucky circumstances that lead them to academically and financially destitute situations that's standing in that corner! Have you guys seen the Hindi movie Julie? It may seem too far from reality, but it's very enlightening - it gives a voice to these women. People so readily look down upon these women but each one of them has a girl deep down in them too, wanting to be heard - each one of them carry a different story. It's their very experience, not the girl, that's waiting there to be picked up. The color of the night can be very deceiving. Where there is light there is understanding...where there is darkness there is perplexity.

The right to pull the plug

Imagine the following situation you may face:

Your 70year old mother is in a vegetative state after suffering a severe stroke. The hospital authorities proclaim to you that she is 'physiologically futile' hence it's meaningless to provide her with further treatment or continue to keep her alive. What would be your immediate reaction and your feelings? This is when you might have to choose rationality over blood, strategy over kith and kin, I really don't know, but all I know is it would be just too devastating a situation to be in. Do you think a group of people who never met you or your mother before her illness, should have that golden right to decide the way your mother should die? You'd know that quality of her life right now is nil, but how do you agree to such a heart-breaking and callous decision?

I have read about families who have faced this situation and how degrading legal battles diminish that very being of the person involved. Because now everyone has a say in it and it's disgusting how some people have no feelings for the family's trauma of losing a loved-one by being forced to put him/her down! I understand that being in a vegetative state isn't the most hip way to live but that does not give any other stranger the right to call that life useless and therefore be perished prematurely. Your loved-one lives all her/his life, do all those things to make other loved-ones feel special and leave lasting memories and cherished moments, only for some stranger to pull her/his plug off? That will always be far-fecthed to me! The right should be the family's after the patient. What say?

Fear factor

What am I afraid of, I mean really afraid of? On a lighter note (but I'm serious when I say this), I'm petrified of cockroaches(couldn't find a single term for this phobia) and spiders(Arachnophobia). Basically my fear of these creatures is not because of any other threat but simply because they are incredibly disgusting! I remember once my cousin brother carried a dead roach and chased me all around the house till I reached a dead-end and fell in to the bath tub crying my lungs out...it wasn't too long ago lol! And I believe I have a serious phobia here, let me tell you why. I initially chose Bio Science for my A/Ls. But in my first week of classes I realised we had to dissect cockroaches and that was the last time I ever saw the walls of that lab or any Bio lab for that matter. I immediately switched to the Maths stream and here I am working as a Computer Specialist instead of being a doc, my long-term dream. Yep those roaches ruined my plans of a medical career, unfortunately or should I say fortunately? :) On a very serious note, I'm also afraid of disability/disfigurement (don't know the phobia term for this). I'm not afraid or ashamed to say this but since I was born able and good-looking, I'd fade away quite profoundly if I ever become disabled/disfigured due to some accident. Because that will swallow my self-confidence, self-esteem and my identity that has brought me this far in life. Call me selfish but yeah I'm terrified of losing my self-confidence. Everything else in life I can cope with.

Here's a list of phobias you may identify yours' with http://www.phobialist.com/index.html

So what is this fear factor? Basically all of us have some kinds of fears in us (rational and irrational fears). Fear of public speaking perhaps...some fear of flying and some of heights. It is believed that most people can deal with these rational fears and go about their normal lives. However if a certain fear is persistent and interfers with your daily life, it is considered a phobia (irrational fear) and needs to be treated (as my cockroach-phobia, duh I don't need treatment I'll just avoid them:). As quoted in an article relating to fears "Rational fears on the other hand, serve as self-protection mechanisms. When rational fear is activated, your body and mind become alert to the dangers in your immediate reality and respond accordingly. Fear of snakes, poisonous spiders, fire, and falling are examples of rational fears and are based on your instinctive self-defense responses...". That means fear can be quite useful for us as much as it can be irritating. If not for fear, we would never know the goodness of security and comfort. As long as your fear is not going to end up as a persistent phobia that makes you avoid the source of it (like not visiting the dentist because of your fear of dentists), it is natural and rewarding to be afraid of some things in life. It wil make you try harder, more alert, bring out the best in you and enjoy the comforts in avoiding them.

Tell me what you're afraid of and why...spill it out, discuss it, be prepared, manage it, live happy, brave and free...

Outlaw the monster-in-law..

Fortunately or unfortunately I don't have a mother-in-law yet and I'm yet to see that JLO movie, but boy haven't I seen enough venom spewed on this poor family member :)

I have a few married friends who can't stand the day their MIL is visiting them, yes even for a few hours lol! And my boss loathes Thursdays because that's the day his MIL is dropping by. I have another friend who's MIL nearly went to the Police because of some silly argument! I also have another friend who has her MIL living with her and all she ever does is fight with her, then ring me and we go and sort things out :)

What's the deal between the daughter-in-law and the monster-in-law, ooops I mean moth-in-law, ooooops no I mean mother-in-law (phewwww!) that they hate each other so much? Don't know if this is because I don't have a MIL yet, but I find it quite shocking and extremely stupid to see DIL and MIL constantly at each other's throats. After all they are both women, they both have/had a husband, one woman is young and should be bubbly and the other is old and should be matured, they both share a very valuable relationship with this man and they both have/had mothers-in-law...so why can't they ever make up their minds, talk things over and be peaceful for that poor guy's sake atleast? Is it because they both are an important part of this guy's life? But why should that end up in jealousy and hatred? Instead shouldn't they be happy for each other and co-exist in harmony. MIL needs to realise that his son is not a baby boy anymore to manipulate his choices, and DIL too need to realise that her husband's mother is a very important woman in his life. After all, if you really love your husband, wouldn't you love the woman who gave birth to him and brought him up to be the guy he is today? On the other hand, if you are the MIL and if you really love your son, wouldn't you love the woman he chose to be his partner for the rest of his life? You need to chop off the selfish motives and harvest understanding between you two. You have to learn to let go and reap benefits. Anyways I personally think MIL should live away from DIL...that way, they can appreciate each other better as well. And DIL, you need to outlaw that Monster-in-law thoughts and treat her like your own mother :)

I am yet to come across a peaceful DIL and MIL (almost like mother-daughter), tell me if you have...

Spring is for blossoming...

Today as I was ordering my usual coffee , a pregnant lady walked in. Her belly was swollen and heavily protruding, but since she was quite a slim lady her pregnancy was extra visible. She looked radiant and happy...skin glowing and showing every bit of motherhood unfolding. I instantly thought of a fresh flower exuding it's beauty to the fullest...a rose that's in full bloom while buds around her are yet to see the light of the world. However, you don't have to be pregnant to blossom naturally. When you're happy and content with yourself, you will be in full bloom inevitably. My point here is don't forget to blossom and radiate beauty always, wherever you go, whatever you do. Young people today worry about too many unwanted things that they forget their very basic nature - being yourself and being happy with simple things in life! Like with the fact that you may have a family, good education, opportunity to be a parent, enough money to keep you off the streets, decent job and a great friend or two, quiet moments with nature, 5 senses that you're blessed with...just think about all those people who can't confidently say that they have any one of the above - trust me there are many out there. So just be happy with yourself, do things that you are happy to do, be happy for others, think of happy thoughts, be around happy people and most of all be at peace with yourself...and when you learn to see joy in simple things in life, your health will blossom naturally. And your true beauty will begin to radiate. For a flower only blooms for a short while...don't deprive yourself of that beautiful and colorful Spring season of your life...

Where is the glitch?

A beautiful 19yr old upper-class girl (half Swedish and half Sri Lankan) was brutally murdered inside their luxury apartment complex in Colombo last month. Her name is Yvonne Johansson and was a Fashion Design student who had just come back home after studying for 2years in the US. She along with her 16year old sister(Caroline) and Caroline's 21year old boyfriend (Sharmantha - apparently ex-boyfriend of Yvonne) had gone out clubbing on the night of June 30th. And later, Caroline and Sharmantha have had some silly argument and they had come home early (to the girl's apartment at around 2am), leaving Yvonne in the night club. Yvonne had later driven home (around 3am) and Sharmantha had been waiting for Yvonne near the lift on the 23rd floor. Then they had some sort of argument (God knows what) and then she had chased him down the steps down to the 19th floor. That's where the murder took place. Her head was brutally banged against the walls and the face was wrecked being repeatedly smashed against the steps. She was strangled using her own jeans and left to bleed and die. Apparently she had no face and her sister could not identify Yvonne for the Police, the next morning when they found her body. How tragic and cruel is that?

Part of the story here:

http://www.dailynews.lk/2005/07/06/news12.htm

Yvonne's photo in a Swedish newspaper here:

http://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/2005/07/04/436426.html

Note that both Yvonne and Sharmantha come from extremely wealthy and upper-class families in Sri Lanka and have known each others' families since childhood. They both went to Colombo International School - CIS (one of the prestigious International schools in Sri Lanka). I find this story just too shocking-gave me the goosebumps! What a waste of a young life and how many more Sharmanthas are out there? What a total loser and a pathetic moron he is. Some people have everything they want in life and then they invite unwanted things into their lives, why? Who could be blamed here? Some blame the International school system where Western culture is encouraged. I find it ridiculous to blame an entire school or and entire culture because of one rotten apple! Some blame the parents for bringing up children with too much freedom. I find that ridiculos too! I mean both were adults (19 and 21) and how can parents stop them from doing what they want at that age? After all clubbing isn't so much of a crime, is it? I think the entire blame should be on the guy...he is the doer of the crime and that's it. No matter how much rage you experience during an argument, no civilised guy would commit such a low and gruesome act. What say?

I just called to say...those 3 words...

Have you ever noticed that the most simple yet vital feelings are the hardest to express verbally? Such as 'I understand you'. People carry alot of self-importance and a major ego that it's really hard for them to say these simple words, even to a loved-one at a time they really need to hear that. 'Please take care' might help someone think twice before they do something crazy all because you said it, but do you use it often? When you are missing someone, how often do you really say 'I miss you'? I bet you never really do, as a guard against sounding weak and mushy in front of that person. What about 'Let me help'? When you know someone is struggling with some problem, you don't want to say this because you just don't want to get involved. Better stay away than be sorry, right? One day I heard someone say 'Please forgive me' and I felt that it was truly heart-felt than just saying I'm sorry. You do love your family don't you? So did you ever walk up to your loved-one and say 'I value you'? I'm sure most of you didnt because it sounds so silly to do that, when you know deep down that you already do! 'I'll be there' are 3 words that a friend would want to hear from you when everyone else has turned him/her down. Did you ever use those words? What about 'You are right'? Does not give you the winning edge right, so why say it? How about 'I admire you'? Simply no, because that makes you feel like you lack something! Last but not the least don't put off that 'I love you' either, because as silly as all these 3 words sound, they will set you free from the ego, selfishness, pride and perhaps save you from shedding a sea of tears some day...

Indian woman VS White woman

This post holds no offense to any person, no intention to spread racism and no plans to make one superior than the other. This is to bring out your true feelings on the topic of Indian woman VS White woman. As subjective as it can get we must not forget that everyone is entitled to freedom of speech, hence let's respect that and enjoy the discussion. This is not to judge who is better than the other, it's rather to weigh the strengths and the weaknesses of both and by unearthing those facts, we can try and learn from each other to make our lives better.

The Indian woman VS White woman debate has been around for years, and especially if you are an Indian living in a Western country, you would have come across this topic more than anyone else. On the strong side, I personally find the White woman independant, vivacious, bold, relaxed, realistic and sporty than the Indian woman. As for the Indian woman, she is virtuous, painstaking, graceful, homely, selfless and God-fearing than the White woman. This not to say that the other doesn't have these qualities at all. Just that one strikes out more than the other in these traits. On the weak side, I would say that the White woman is arrogant, selfish, short-sighted and careless than the Indian woman. And the Indian woman is gullible, dependant, voiceless and bashful than the White woman. Please don't take this too harsh on you :) Read below before you start throwing stones at me and say '#### off Keshi!'. lol!

Now these qualities may carry it's own advantages and disadvantages for both kinds of women. You may say that the White woman is independant hence she wins at the end of the day. But it could be at the cost of her loved-ones. And one may say that the Indian woman is selfless hence she has a long and happy married life. But that could be at the cost of her own hopes and dreams. Also, one may say that White woman is selfish which is why she might end up going through many relationships before she settles down. But it could be good for her because that gives her ample time and experience to decide on her soul mate. And you may say that the Indian woman is voiceless and that's why she gets dominated all her life. But it could be good just that way, because when too many things are argued about, the difference between a man and a woman's role becomes hazy...

So it's best that we learn from each other, and try to achieve a balance in life. Perhaps the White woman should learn to be a bit more farsighted and the Indian woman should learn to be a bit more daring, not forgetting to keep within the safe limits :) To all the lovely White ladies out there, I hope you are still smiling at me 'cos you ladies taught me how to stick up for myself and to kiss away the pain with a simple 'piss off' and a sexy smirk :), thanks girls! And to all the elegant Indian women out there, I hope you too are still smiling at me 'cos you are the essence of courage and wisdom, and you are the reason why my mother is so utterly wonderful!

Oh to hell with it!

Have you ever been misunderstood, overworked, underpaid, abused, unloved, uncared for, forgotten, run down, put off, stood up, taken for granted, misused, invalidated, dismissed, thrown away, mishandled, manipulated, rejected, refused, unheard, humiliated, cheated, cornered, dominated, harassed, discriminated, what-not unfairly? Do a quick self-evaluation of your relationships, be it between bf-gf, husband-wife, sibling-sibling, parent-child, relative-relative, friend-friend, teacher-student, colleague-colleague, customer-salesperson etc etc.

Think it over clearly...you could be mistreated right now and you may not even be aware of it! It could be even happening for years, and the reason why you may not be aware of it could be because you have gotten so used to it or even addicted to such treatment. Don't let life go on for the sake of maintaining any relationship on a peaceful note. There is NO real peace in such relationships. Some may keep silent for the sake of cultural and societal beliefs and even fear of losing the other person. But what is wrong is always wrong. Don't let people run all over you. Don't disregard your true feelings no matter how small they may seem. Pay heed to your feelings, respect them, make a note of them, build up some courage and blurt it out before it's too late! It may help the other person to realise what he/she is doing is wrong and it will refresh your relationship too. If not it may even end it for good...but let's face it, you don't want to continue something that's shadowing your sense of self and burying your beliefs, do you?

You only got one life, try and live it as free as you want it to be, without being mistreated.

What if...

what if deserts never missed the rain...
then my heart wouldn't be so scorched...
what if mirages never conned...
my dearest dad would still be here...
what if we all knew how to love...
then words wouldn’t know how to stab...
what if smiles could build big bridges...
I'd be having coffee with you...
what if memory never existed...
life would be one bed of roses...
what if God worked in your office...
you could take Him out for lunch...
what if birds could deliver mail...
daily you would hear from me...
what if wild flowers bloomed in the garden...
beauty wouldn't be so rare...
what if all dreams always came true...
rivers of tears would all be dry...
what if eyes spoke as they see...
it would be hard to meet up with you...
what if feelings are a butterfly...
I would be dancing right next to you...
what if friends are always forever...
my heart wouldn't have known patchwork...
what if there were many other colors...
my car would have been a nice sebleu...
what if daffodils grew in ponds...
then smiles would sprout through hurtful tears...
what if sun shone late at night...
darkness will learn to disappear...
what if tears could write a book...
then right now I'd be one famed author...

Punctuality rules

Folks I'm a bit pissed today. When someone promises you he/she will meet you at a specific time on a specific day, why would he/she not turn up? You can call me a more-than-perfect Ms.Punctuality, hence I expect the same from another and I don't think that's unreasonable. And if for some reason I won't be able to make it, I will always make sure I let the other person know that well ahead, so that they don't miss out on their lunch or their sleep waiting for me. I certainly will not make anyone feel stood up unless I met with a serious misfortune that left me stranded in an island with no human civilisation, mobile phones or computers..not forgetting a rescue plane!

Now I guess my friend got busy with some very important matter last night that he couldn't let me know before I was about to be stood up for, ehhh like one hour?? And now it's today and he hasn't still emailed or called me for a well-overdue apology. Some people think that it's ok for others to sit around waiting for them and then go back when they reach the point of no-turning-back in boredom. And then they expect everything to be ok the next day?? But I think it's really slack, out of character and lack of consideration to make someone wait for you for a long time, not turn up at all and not call atleast in the next 24hours to say sorry! Don't you think so? As I already left a message for him while waiting yesterday, I'm not going to call him again neither am I going to meet him atleast for another few weeks, even if he's going to turn up a day ahead of planned time.Fullstop.

Have you been stood up by someone or have you stood someone else up this way and if so what were the reasons and do you think it was fair?

Knowing me Knowing you

Ok this was too irresistible, Cheesy and Deips you guys got me smitten by this now :)

I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050710222519-977439
Please take the quiz and leave your scores thanks!

So you think you know me ha?

Show me some Hip...

At a birthday party last weekend, I was wearing a dark brown pair of cordroy three-quarter pants that's got lace at the waiste&hem, a light pink v-necked long-sleeved woolen top, black&pink hair scarf tied as a head band with my hair up at the back and a red pair of stilettos. My cousins were like 'You are absolutely hip and looking gorgeous!'. But seriously I don't think I'm that hip, it's just that I have a good dress sense and I like to look and feel beautiful always. According to the sources 'hip' means 'fashionably current'. If I'm fashionably current, I would have been wearing one of those khaki pants and suede embroidered boots which is the 'in' style this Winter in Aus. I like fashion alright but you can't say I'm totally hip! Because what's hip may not be my style. We all carry our own dress sense and style. Some people wear whatever is hip, some choose what suit them the most. What about you? How would you dress for a casual evening function? What kind of a fashion god/goddess are you with clothes, accessories and shoes?

What is love?

Gosh I think Love is all around me :) Since my dear friend Sebia too is on a quest for a clear definition of Love, I thought I would ask each of you to pen down a simple line or two on what you think Love is. Make it original if you can. I found this line in a book I read long time ago and I think it completed my definition of Love in a very simple yet profound way...

Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.

As I see it, true Love will withstand any barrier that comes it's way. That's all there is to it. So tell me what you think Love is.

Raining in my heart...

She was just out of school. She went to his office for some work. The moment he saw her, there was magic. He got up from his seat and walked up to her. She was feeling a little awkward and was wondering why he's walking up to her. He came smiling with the nicest smile ever. He was very tall but by his careless laugh you could tell he wasnt older than 21. He started asking her silly questions that were totally irrelevant to work. She laughed and answered him back equally funny. They clicked just perfect. He called her almost everyday from that moment onwards. She wasn't sure if this was going to work. She told him that many times as she was afraid of making big decisions then. He was head over heels in love with her. He sent her many tokens of love. But in a few months time she left to a far away land never to see him again. He somehow found her address and wrote her some amazing letters. She responded only once. It's been some years of pure silence between the two since then. Her name is Keshi. He is Gerard. I'm really sorry Gerard but I still remember you fondly, I do care and I still have the cassette you DJed for me as a bday gift...I still listen to it just to hear your voice and boy what beautiful songs you have selected for me - Endless Love, Everything I do, Always, I will always love you, When I die, Unchained Melody etc. You are very special. Maybe we were not meant to be together. I hope you are doing well wherever you are and that you found that perfect girl you so deserve. Sometimes I hate myself for not recognising men who really care about me...when he was around it was always sunshine, now it's always raining in my heart...

Confide-In-Me

This was inpsired by Dewdy's latest post where there was a link to a Confessions site. I thought that is something we all should do :)

I wonder how many of us have secrets, how small or big they may be that we thought we would never share with anyone else in this life. It may be because you are ashamed of yourself for doing something that does not fit in the society's value-system, even if you didnt mind doing it or it may be because it was a huge mistake on your behalf that you regret it terribly. Once I happened to switch on the TV in the middle of a movie where a little girl was confessing about stealing her friend's brand new pencil-case, how she hated to do that but how she loved owning it and didnt want to give it back. However after she confessed this on a magazine column, she really felt relieved and no longer thought that the pencil-case was something worthwhile losing an honest friendship over. So the next day she keeps it at the friend's doorstep and leaves. The girls become good friends again even eithout the other one knowing it was she who stole it and she feels her free self again.

Now I'm not saying that most of one's mistakes can be corrected that way without any ill effects, but I'm sure by really talking about it(which I believe is acceptance), the guilt and the horrible feeling of carrying it on can be eradicated to some extent. So it's your turn to pen down your little sealed secrets. If you like to keep it anonymous then you are most welcome to do so. But after writing it down, see if you feel any better, I'm sure you will!

Bonds of deception

So what are we going to do now? You and I are here together. We are bonded by love and affection. We met each other for some reason and we stick together for an even better reason, because we can't be without each other. Alright, we shall be together till death do us part. But hang on, that means we will be separated at some stage. Even if that means we will never be this way again, in these same circumstances as you and me? Then why are we put together? Why do we even have a feeling called affection and bonds of love? Why these connections if we can never be together forever? Damn it! Don't tell me that all this is just for me to leave you one day or for you to leave me one day? I can't comprehend that and I won't try to. I am not God to understand that fully and accept it either. All I know is that I am here and I love you and that I don't like the way God would separate us some day. These bonds are like frozen lakes in Winter that melt into water in Spring. So solid in one season, so fragile and broken in the next. btw it's my mum's bday today and above I was talking about me and her...I cannot think of being separated from her but it saddens me that I or she would some day have to live without each other. I don't think I can do that so it's best that I go first even though it may sound selfish. What's so selfless about life anyways?

Ahhh these men!

Why are men so insensitive? He wants you, needs you, loves you, longs for you but that's only when he wants to cuddle up with you...post-cuddle, you don't exist in his life. Then all he ever does is watch cricket or footy or work on his project, until he feels like cuddling up again...but you can only think of him and nothing else. You are thinking of him 24/7 but he thinks of other things. This always bothered me...men need to be more emotional....they need to work on that. If women have come forth as strong and independant personalities over the years, then why cant men work on the 'emotional' element?

An ode to Winter

When I woke up this morning it was extremely cold...it was about 3C degrees. Winter in Sydney is awfully cold this time around and it is snowing in nearby suburbs. Somehow I like Winter. It can be depressing and gloomy but there is something beautiful about this season. The long nights, wooly jumpers, cosy beds, cute beanies, warm soup, lemon tea, hot chocolates, sexy boots, lazy mornings, fog-filled skies, long hot showers and goosebumps...yeah goosebumps :) Somehow I like the feeling of goosebumps. Most people hate Winter and just curl up and sleep till Summer :) but you got to find something to admire in every situation. I see Winter as a naturally beautiful woman who seeks no recognition...she hides her beauty in foggy skies for those eyes that seek her face, for that touch that wants to feel her, for that voice who calls her, for those ears that listen to her, for that heart that understands her...she is beautiful if you really see her.

My mini-escapade

Heyyyya!

I'm back from my much needed break and yeah I had heaps of fun just veging out at home :) Previously I used to go on holidays only when I went overseas. But this time I think I had the best break ever...just sitting at home watching Oprah, spending alot of quality time with my mum, enjoying my morning coffee without thinking about the train, cooking new dishes, cleaning the kitchen super-bright, waking up to 9am sunshine, driving around listening to Rod Stewart, watching from my balcony school kids going home chatting happily, getting to know the neighbors I never knew existed, taking long showers without a care, opening some boxes in the garage that brought back some memories from 5years ago, visiting my friend after 6months who's baby is now a much 'bigger' baby, shopping for clothes and ear-rings without looking at the watch, enjoying my mum's favorite shows like Bold&the Beautiful (although I think it should be re-titled as 'Slow&the Painful' because the episodes are real slow and kills you when it ends with only 15mins of quality air time) and playing with my 2yr old nephew who now thinks I should not have a life apart from being with him :)

Most people think that holidays should be in Thailand or Bahamas...even though it's good to chill out there to take a break and get to know about the world, remember that what you might really need is just a stay-at-home break to get in touch with yourself and to spend some quality time with your loved ones...to bring back the nostalgia of what you have been, to re-connect with lost times and to re-kindle the spark of your life...

Extreme Love

When I'm about to leave, he senses it and he screams an angry scream to stop me and holds back his tears, not for too long though. Slowly he would start hitting me, biting my arms with a mean face, scratching me like a tiger, demonstrating the longest face ever. If I put him down, he will hang on to my legs and cry with the biggest pain in his heart that shows so well in his little round face, terrified of the next minute that I'd be gone...he loves me too much that he threatens to hurt me if I leave...so very cute with those little teeth and tiny nails, he will do all the tricks to keep me. And then when I really have to go and I get my car keys, he runs and hides my shoes, with tears dancing in his large eyes...and outside when I start my car, I can hear his loud cry that I want to forget as soon as possible, because that cry breaks my heart into a million pieces. He is my cousin's 2yr old son who has become an incurable addiction in my life...I love u heaps bubbz!